Purity (Pure and Tainted) (3 page)

A wave of self-loathing rolled over her and then she was disgusted
with herself for feeling any emotion at all. But without the suit she couldn’t
seem to help it—the feelings just came and there was no way to push them away.
Anymore than she could push away the giant who was holding her.

Gradually her disgust and horror faded and K just felt numb.
The pain was completely gone but there
was no hope for her now. The stitches in her thigh were nothing compared to
this…this full body contact. She would have to die. She was already dead.

* * * * *

Boone was relieved when she finally stopped fighting him. “That’s
good, darlin’,” he murmured, cradling her against his chest. “
That’s right, just relax
.”

“Well she’s not much to look at, that’s for certain,” Loki sniffed.
He was a full blooded Erian and very concerned with physical appearances.

Boone made a noise in his throat. “Like you ever look at anything
female. What would you know?”

“I’m speaking from a purely aesthetic point of view. Look at her.”
Loki gestured at the Paladin lying limp in Boone’s arms. “She’s completely
flat—she looks like a little girl that somehow grew to massive proportions.”

“Massive?” Boone snorted. “She’s tiny. Just because she’s not
quite as itty-bitty as the rest of you littles doesn’t make her huge.”

The girl struggled briefly, as though she might want to protest
his statement but then settled down again.

You want to sit down?” Loki asked him. “She’s all muscle, she must
be heavy.”

“Nah, I could hold her all day. She’s light as a feather.” Boone
shifted slightly and looked down at her. “Do you want a blanket?
You getting
cold?”

She started to shake her head and then apparently changed her
mind.
“Y-yes.
I’d like a blanket.” She sounded as
listless as she looked. Boone couldn’t believe he’d ever seen her as a threat.

“I’ll get one.” Loki turned to go.

“Do that,” Boone said. “And tell Mom to sim her something hot to
drink.
Some coffee or hot tea or something.
She looks
like she needs it.”

“She needs more than that.” Loki threw the girl an unfriendly
glance as the silver door
whooshed
shut behind him.

It was obvious the Erian already hated her and Boone couldn’t say
that he blamed the man. Loki’s touch partner, Chall, had been one of the first
to die when the Paladins had come in with guns blazing. Loki and Chall hadn’t
been life bonded and had fought like cats and dogs most of the time but there
had been genuine affection between them. And without the other man Loki was
crippled.
I’ll have to keep an eye on
him. Wouldn’t put it past Loki to try and get some kind of revenge.
Nothing
fatal—he knew what Boone needed the Paladin for. But still, Erians could be
tricky.

The girl stirred weakly against Boone’s chest and he looked down
at her. “You okay, darlin’?”

“
My squad…where are
they? Are you holding
them in other rooms?”

“Your crew is dead.” Boone said, more harshly than he’d intended.
“Don’t worry
though,
they took a few of us with them.
That should make you feel better.”

Her strange eyes flashed. “No, what would make me feel better is
to purge the whole lot of you.”

“That’s what you were coming to do, wasn’t it?” He shook his head.
“You know, when we bought this Erian ship at the scrappers to use for bait, I
didn’t think it would work. I didn’t really believe you’d attack us just
because we were different.”

“Erians are depraved.” Her voice was cold and impersonal, as though
she was reciting dogma she’d been taught from an early age. “They deserve to be
purged. Other races can be subjugated but the Erian ways—”

“What do you know about our ways, Purist?” Loki had returned. In
one hand he held a white thermal blanket and in the other, a mug full of
steaming liquid.

The girl glanced at him dispassionately. “I know that you touch
each other all the time—your whole planet is contaminated. And you…” She
swallowed hard as though fighting down revulsion. “You reproduce sexually.
Disgusting.”

Boone stared down at her in disbelief. “You think they should be
wiped out because they have
sex
? How
the hell do
your
people reproduce?
The whole damn planet can’t be abstinent or you’d have died out cycles ago.”

Loki answered for her. “Purists are genetically engineered and
grown in artificial wombs. These huge fucking grow-tanks that hold something
like a hundred and fifty babies at once.”

“The upper limit of fetus distribution is fifty-five and that is
only for workers,” the girl said, frowning at him. “There are never more than
thirty for my own kind—Paladins. How do you know so much about my world
anyway?”

“Because I escaped from one of your
genetics labs after being captured in the Pan wars.
So I know
exactly
what you’re capable of.” Loki threw down the thermal
blanket and slapped the mug on the table with a
thunk.
Steaming brown liquid sloshed over the side and onto the
floor. “There.” He glared first at the girl, then at Boone. “Get Mom to help
you with her. I’ve had enough.
Murdering Purist
bitch
.”

Boone blamed himself for what happened next. The Paladin had been
quiet and limp against his chest for so long that Boone had loosened his grip.
She seemed so fragile without the suit—like a bird that might break its own
wings trying to get free of him if he wasn’t careful. But now she demonstrated
that all the rumors he’d heard about the Paladins’ training were true.

Suddenly she launched herself from his arms and lunged for Loki.
In one smooth move she plucked the ceremonial
gogi
dagger from the sheath he kept at the back of his belt and
aimed it for her own heart. She thumbed it on and a faint popping and crackling
broke the sudden silence of the room as a blue energy field enveloped the
dagger’s copper blade. The blade was razor sharp, Boone knew, but it didn’t
really have to be. The energy field would melt through flesh as though it was
snow. The Paladin was going to kill
herself
and if she
died, his last hope would die with her.

“No!” he shouted and dived for her. He was certain she was going to
do it—the blade’s deadly blue field was poised right above her heart.

But for just an instant, she hesitated.

It was enough. Boone slammed into her and wrapped one arm around
her waist, securing her free hand to her side. At the same time he grabbed the
hand holding the knife and squeezed.

“Drop it,” he said quietly in her ear. “Just drop it now. Why the
hell are you trying to kill yourself anyway?”

Loki answered for her again.
“Because you
touched her.”

“What? But you
told
me
to touch her. And it helped.”

“Physically maybe.
Mentally and emotionally you’ve
just given her a hell of a shock. You may as well have raped her.” Loki gave the
girl a nasty smile. “She’s contaminated now—she’s been touched by one of the
Impure. Of
course
she wants to die.”

“Damn it, Loki!” Boone growled, really pissed now. “Why the hell
didn’t you tell me any of this before?”

The Erian
shrugged,
a liquid, graceful
gesture. “What difference would it have made? You had to touch her to save her
and now you’re going to have to
keep
touching
her if you want to keep her alive. It’s going to be a living hell for you,
isn’t it, sweetheart?” He leered at the girl and plucked the
gogi
dagger from her numb fingers. “I’ll
see you two later. Have fun getting to know each other.”

Chapter Three

“What’s your name, anyway?” Boone asked her.

They were sitting in the mess hall side by side on a bench drawn
up to the large communal table. The thermal blanket was draped around the
girl’s shoulders and her hands were bound in front of her with soft but completely
unbreakable plasti-seal restraints. Boone had seen to that himself—he wasn’t
about to have a repeat performance of what had almost happened in the medlab.

Mom, the ship’s navigator and all-around mother figure to everyone
on board, was humming to herself as she bustled around the far side of the
room. Her dark brown hair with a wide streak of silver running down one side and
her huge silver-brown eyes denoted her as a resident of Pan. The fourth planet
from the Promethean sun had been occupied and its population either purged or
subjugated during the Pan Wars by Purists twenty cycles ago. Boone knew, though
she didn’t talk about it much, that Mom had lost most of her family in the wars
when she was younger. Yet she was at peace, even with a Paladin sitting in the
same room with her. She had given the girl one long appraising glance when he
first brought her in and then went back to her kitchen duties.

“Your name?”
Boone prompted the shivering Paladin
again. He wondered if Loki was right and he was going to have to touch her on a
regular basis in order to keep her healthy. He really hoped not—she might be a
murdering bitch but he wasn’t a sadist. He didn’t want to do anything to her
that she didn’t want done. But how screwed up must her people be if they
equated a simple touch to rape?
Pretty
damn screwed up,
he thought, watching her. She shrank away from him as
though he had the damn Frellian plague if he moved so much as an inch in her
direction
.

“Why do you want to know my name?” She stared straight ahead, clearly
reviewing her options. Probably plotting to get away from him and go for
another weapon. Boone made a mental note—he wasn’t going to let down his guard
around her again.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “We’re going to be
together awhile. We might as well get to know each other.”

She gave him a look that was colder than space. “I don’t want to
know you and I’m certain you don’t want to know me. What I
would
like to know is why you lured me and my squad here in the
first place.”

“If you weren’t so damn bloodthirsty it wouldn’t have worked,”
Boone countered. “Loki was right—you damn Purists can’t resist the urge to kill
anyone who isn’t your own kind. Why is that?” He frowned at her, genuinely
curious. The odd religious sect which had grown to encompass the entire planet
of Athena was still something of a mystery to him, their genocidal tendencies
darkly fascinating.

She spoke in a monotone. “You are one of the Impure. You
must
be purged or subjugated so that we
can spread the light of Purity to the solar system and the universe beyond.”

“So this is some kind of a holy war? You believe that no one but
you is fit to live?”

“I believe in Purity.” She raised her chin. “You’re impure and now
you’ve contaminated me. Why are you even keeping me alive? Why not kill me
too?”

Boone felt his jaw clench in frustration.
“Because
I need you, damn it.”

She arched one eyebrow and gave him an infuriatingly cool look.
“You need
me
?”

“Not you specifically—just a Purist. Someone…very dear to me was
captured by pirates and taken to your damn pshalite mines. Nobody but a Purist
can get in and get her out again. I know—I’ve tried.”

The Paladin stared at him blankly. “You killed my squad and
invalidated my entire existence. What makes you think I’d help you?”

Boone leaned closer and gave her a hard stare. To her credit she
didn’t flinch away this time despite his proximity.
“Because
you want your suit.
Want it badly. You might not mind dying if you can’t
get it back but you sure as hell
don’t
want to
live
without it and the drugs it pumps
into you, now do you?”

She was clearly surprised though she tried not to show it. “My
skinsuit supplies me with nutrients and hydration. That’s all.”

“No, that’s
not
all.
I’ve been studying it. It’s one of the most ingenious biomechanical hybrids
I’ve ever seen. A living organism you can wear. It manufactures all kinds of
chemicals to inject you with—you’ve got your own personal pharmacy everywhere
you go.”

“That isn’t true—it can’t be.” But a look of uncertainty had crept
across her blank features. Boone pressed his advantage.

“It is. That damn suit’s been pumping you full of drugs and
emo-dampers for however long you’ve been wearing it. Loki says you Purists
never take them off—when did you first put the damn thing on, anyway?”

“When I was nine cycles old but that’s irrelevant. My suit
nourishes and shields me—it has nothing to do with anything else.” The
uncertainty on her delicate features was replaced by stubbornness. “You’re just
trying to demoralize me. Well, it won’t work.”

Boone grinned at her. “Face the truth, darlin’. You’re an addict
and that damn suit is your pusher.”

The Paladin stiffened. “Don’t call me your insulting nicknames.”

Ah-ha,
a chink in the armor.
“Tell me your real name then,” he challenged.

“Fine.
It’s K,
Commander
K to you.”

Boone frowned. “That’s it?
Just Kay?
Is
it short for Katherine or Katrina?
Maybe Katie?”

“No, K as in the eleventh letter of the old alphabet. There were
twenty-six in my birthgroup and I was the eleventh to be taken from the artificial
womb.”

Boone raised his eyebrows. “You mean there are twenty-five more
like you?”

“Not like me, no.” She lifted her chin proudly. “Of my birthgroup,
I have
progressed
the farthest. I am a fourth level
Paladin and command my own purge squad—or I did before you killed them.”

“But
I mean, they look like you
? You’re
all identical?” It was hard to fathom but she was already shaking her head and
frowning slightly, as though maybe Boone had hit on something that bothered
her.

“Well…no. The others in my birthgroup are shorter than me and
their features are different as well. But it happens sometimes that one stands
out from the group. It’s not that unusual.”

Boone barked a laugh. “I gotta tell you, K, from where I’m sitting
just about every damn thing about you
is
unusual.
If by unusual you mean completely fucked up.”

She looked away from him. “I refuse to have this discussion with
you.”

“Here, Boone, do something else with your mouth besides flapping
you jaws.” Mom pushed a steaming mug in front of him. “And you too—can you
manage with your hands tied?” she asked, putting a similar mug in front of K.

“I’ll help her,” Boone growled. “Not that she deserves it.”

“Hush. Leave the poor little girl alone.” Mom slapped him lightly
on the shoulder. She was a tiny woman—barely a meter and a half—so Boone
completely dwarfed her, but unlike many other littles, she had never given any
indication that his size bothered her. It was one of the many reasons he liked
her so much.
That and the fact that she was always so calm,
unlike Loki who was a damn drama queen.

“This ‘poor little girl’ is a cold blooded killer, Mom,” he
protested. “She’d shoot you as soon as look at you if she could get her hands
on a pulse pistol.”

“Oh I know that.” Mom gave K another of her long, appraising looks.
“But she was raised to it. And didn’t you just say she was on drugs all this
time? People do terrible, crazy things when they’re taking drugs.”

“She wasn’t so much taking them as being constantly injected with
them,” Boone said grudgingly.

“Well, there you go then.” She nodded at him. “Now drink up.”

Boone sighed and nodded at the mug in front of K. “You want me to
help you?”

She frowned at the contents of her cup. “What is this?
Some kind of nutrient drink?”

Mom burst out into surprised sounding laughter. “Why honey, that’s
hot chocolate with marshmallows. Don’t tell me you’ve never had hot chocolate
before—it’s a recipe from Earth-that-was. Any food simulator worth its salt can
make it.”

“We have nothing like it on Athena.”

“Well then you’re in for a treat. I’ve never met anyone yet who
didn’t like it. Go on, Boone, help her take a sip.”

“All right.”
Scowling, he lifted the mug to her
lips. “Careful, it’s hot and I might not feel too bad if you got burned.”

“Boone!” Mom sounded shocked. “You took an oath to heal people.”

“I
did
heal her. I
stitched her up and carried her around like a Goddamn baby until she was able
to walk without falling over. For which she repaid me by grabbing Loki’s
gogi
dagger and trying to off herself.”

“She was upset—you would be too in the same situation.” Mom nodded
at the apparently impassive K, as though to illustrate her point. “Anyway, it’s
over now.”

Boone scowled even more. “No, it’s not. According to Loki we’re
just getting started though I hope to God he’s wrong. But in light of the
trouble she’s already given me, I think K here will live if she burns her
tongue.”

“You’re incorrigible.” She slapped him on the shoulder again and
smiled. Then she nodded at the girl. “Go on, K honey, try it.”

K sniffed the dark brown liquid suspiciously. “It smells nothing
like a nutrient drink.”

“Go ahead,” Mom urged again. “It’s not poison, if that’s what
you’re worried about.”

Boone barked another laugh. “She’d probably drink it down and ask
for seconds if it was since she’s so hell-bent on killing herself. Or maybe she
doesn’t want to die as badly as she claims.” He raised an eyebrow at K. “
That
right, darlin’?”

His mocking tone seemed to grate on her because she lost her
impassive look for a moment and glared at him. “I
fear
nothing. I
feel
nothing.”

He frowned. “What is that—some kind of a motto?”

“It is the Paladin’s code. We live and die by it.” Lowering her
head, she took a big sip from the steaming mug. Then she raised her head,
frowning. “It’s so
sweet
.”

Boone couldn’t help grinning at her startled expression. “Of
course it is. Why do you think we drink it?”

“Not for nutrition, I’d guess. This can’t be good for you.”

Mom laughed.
“Not for your body, maybe.
More for your soul.
Hot chocolate is comfort food—or comfort
drink, in this case I guess.”

“How is having a mouthful of too much sweetness comforting?” she
asked, sounding honestly curious.

“It’s soothing,” Boone put down her mug and took a sip from his
own, much larger one. Seeing her confused expression, he tried to explain.
“The creamy liquid running down your throat and warming your
stomach.
The heat of the mug in your hands.
Knowing that someone who cares for you made it.”
He smiled
at Mom and she smiled back and patted his arm. “Unless you don’t have anyone
who cares for you, which is just sad,” he added, looking at K.

Mom shook her head. “Now, Boone, just hush up and let the poor
girl drink her hot chocolate.”

K stared at them, her head cocked to one side as though she was
trying to understand a foreign language. “Excuse my inquisitiveness but I
cannot help noticing that the chain of command on your ship appears to be
completely off-kilter.”

“Oh?” Boone put down his mug.
“How so?”

“You are clearly of higher rank while Mom is relegated to
nutrition duty—yet you don’t reprimand her for giving you orders. If one of my
subordinates spoke to me as she speaks to you I would punish him or her
severely. Why do you tolerate such behavior?”

“Well for one thing, we’re all equal on this ship. And Mom isn’t
just the cook—we take turns with that by the way—she’s also our navigator.”

“And a priestess of Gaia, if you
feel in need of spiritual counseling,” Mom put in.

“My people don’t recognize foreign deities. Only Purity can
cleanse the universe and make it whole.” K bowed her head briefly as though in
silent prayer, then looked up again. “I still don’t understand why you talk to
each other the way you do.”

“We’re teasing each other.” Mom ran her fingers playfully through
Boone’s hair and he grinned at the ticklish sensation and gave her a one-armed
hug.

“We’re making jokes—you know.” He raised his eyebrows at K. “Don’t
your people have
any
sense of humor?”

“Humor is the first emotion to go when a Paladin begins his or her
training,” she said stiffly. “I do not find that I miss it.”

“Oh honey, I think that’s just the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Mom looked close to crying. “You really don’t have any feelings?”