Razor's Edge (Afflictions) (16 page)

"Kind of." I flip our
open
sign to
closed
. Bebe and I are in no state to work on people.

"What do you mean, kind of?" She plops down on Gary’s old client chair and we both stare at it.

After a minute passes, I sigh and sit next to her. We share a short laugh. "The last thing I want to do is get into a relationship. I was with Gary for so long and–"

"Morgan is so far from my brother that their moral codes are in different time zones." She bumps my shoulder with hers. "Gary’s controlled you. Don’t let him ruin you for someone else who’s better."

I hug her. I have to. This woman just turned her back on her fucked-up family for me. Sometimes I wonder if Bebe was adopted. She’s nothing like her brother.

She hugs me back tight. A friendly warmth spreads
through me. She backed Gary for so long that I seriously thought that, even though she thought he was an ass, she would be on his side. Bebe has always been my friend. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t know Gary, but I never thought of her as a sister like I do now.

We let go and share a laugh.

Bebe takes another paper towel and wipes my cheek. "Look at us. Blubbering messes over my fucked-up brother."

"What made you come to my defense? Not that I’m not grateful for it. But you’ve always been a neutral party."

Frowning, she goes silent for a second, then stands and grabs my hand. "Come on, let’s go clean up."

I want to probe her more, but I’m afraid that will put a damper on our bonding moment. We head through the beads toward the hall bathroom.

It isn’t until we’re both in front of the mirror, fixing our makeup, when she speaks. "I didn’t like how he was threatening to take Ben away from you." She opens her bottle of foundation, then looks at me through the mirror. "You’re a good mom, Shay." She grunt-laughs. "A hell of a lot better than him. I love Ben. And I don’t want him to have the same jacked-up childhood I had. I don’t want Ben to turn out like him."

Her words are everything that I have thought in the past. She loves my son, she’s been nothing but a positive influence in his life. And I’m glad we are on the same page here.

"Were you serious when you said I was part owner?" She applies some lip gloss.

Actually, I’ve been thinking about this for a while. When I open a shop in a good neighborhood, I’m going to need someone to take over here. Tryst was my first choice, but he’s had a career switch—one that will make him more money. "Of course. Who else is better?"

"Well..." She taps the unopened end of her eyeliner against her cheek. "Okay, I’ll do it. But you have to promise you’ll move soon. If I’m going to be a boss, I need my own space."

She bumps my hip and we both laugh then finish our makeup in a comfortable silence.

Bebe frowns into the mirror and sighs as she packs up her makeup and stashes it in her spot under the sink. She glances at me. I can tell she wants to say something, but doesn’t.

When we exit the bathroom I stop her in the hall. "What’s wrong,
Bebe?"

"What makes you think there’s something wrong?"

I cock my head and roll my eyes. "We’ve known each other since we were thirteen. You’ve hidden things from me before, and I’ve always caught it. Now tell me."

"It’s just–" She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. "Why didn’t you tell me you’re pregnant? Does Tryst know?"

That’s what’s got her upset? "No one knows. And don’t tell Tryst. I’m not ready for him to find out yet. I wasn’t ready for
you
to find out. I wanted to wait until I was four months and knew this was a sure thing. But you know how I get. It slipped."

She takes a deep breath and smiles wide. "So I’ll be the only other one in our clique to know. Well, other than Morgan."

"Morgan’s very intuitive." I guess that’s what you’d call it. "He forced me to tell him because he had a feeling that I was."

"Oh." She laughs.

"I guess he’s sorta a condom freak and because the condom broke when we...uh. Yeah, He wanted to make sure."

She hugs me and squeals. "Oh my God! We have so much planning to do. I never got to throw you a proper baby shower when you were pregnant with Ben. So look out. I have the means and the artistic ability to throw one now."

Great. In Bebe’s world, that means color and a lot of glitz and pizazz. If there was such a thing as reincarnation, than Bebe was a drag queen in her past life. "I’ll agree to that, on two conditions. One, you can’t tell a single soul that I’m pregnant until I give you the okay. And you have to stick to two colors when planning the baby shower."

"Don’t worry, girl, your baby’s wardrobe is safe in my hands."

That’s what I’m afraid of.

"Baby?"

Oh shit.

Ben’s standing at the bottom of the stairs, suited up for sledding. "You’re having a baby, Mom?"

              Eighteen

Shay

Staring at Ben, his eyes all big and questioning, I have no idea what to say. I can’t lie to him.
Dammit, Bebe.
I give her the stink eye. She’s leaning against the wall in my back hallway, next to the huge black-and-white picture of Detroit’s sky line. She arches a pierced brow and mouths
sorry
.

I smile. "Yes, sweetie. Pretty soon you will have a little brother or sister."

Ben frowns and fiddles with his gloves. He’s dressed head to toe in his black and green snow gear. "When?"

I take the gloves from him. "In a while. Where’s Morgan?"

"He’s helping Dani with her boots. The laces were tied in a tight knot, and he told me to come say goodbye to you."

"I’m going to make a couple of phone calls."
Bebe pushes off the wall. "Have fun, Ben." She gives him a hug and exits through the beads into the front of my shop.

The damn gloves won’t go on. I shove a little harder and try to get his fingers in the holes.
Did they sew the fingers in these blasted things closed?
I push his gloves up and he wiggles his fingers into them.

Ben’s quiet. He’s frowning, and his eyebrows are pulled down tight. I wish I didn’t have to put him through this. Tryst warned me about sleeping with Morgan. Why didn’t I listen? 

His eyes are cast down and he absently kicks the ground. "Will you still love me?"

I can’t imagine how he feels. I’m an only child and never had to compete for my parents’ love, or lack thereof, that is. This is not a competition. I bend down and pull the black hood over his lime-green beanie, then zip up his coat and give him a hug. "You will always be my Little
Duders. Nothing and no one can change that."

He doesn’t look up, but nods.

"You know, when the baby comes I’m going to need a lot of help. Babies are a lot of work, and I’m going to have to teach him so much. I don’t think I can do it on my own. Do you think you can be a good big brother and help me with that?"

His head shoots up and his smile goes wide.

"You know, there are some things I won’t be able to teach him. Some things only a
big
brother can."

"I can do that! Things like playing the Xbox. And how to ride a bike." Excitement dances across his blue eyes as he rattles off a list of things he can teach the baby when he gets older. "Oh, and I have to teach him how to draw."

"I guess we’re telling everyone now?" Morgan steps off the staircase with a smirk on his face like he’s trying to hold in laughter.

Ben spins around. "Mom’s going to have a baby! I’m going to be a big brother."

Morgan chuckles. His eyes lock with mine and he grins. "I know. I heard.” He glances down at Ben. “I’m a big brother, too. If you need any advice, feel free to ask me."

Dani
comes around Morgan. Suited up, head to toe, in pink and purple snow gear. "It’s true. My uncle and my daddy are best friends. Uncle Morg knows what he’s talking about."

"
Morg?" Ben laughs. "They call you Morg? As in a place they put dead people?"

Heat hits my cheeks.
Shouldn’t have let him watch
Men in Black
. Of course he’d remember what a morgue is.

Morgan laughs. "I don’t think my brother was thinking that when he gave me the nickname." He turns to me. "Are you sure you don’t want to go with us? You could hang out at the top of the hill."

We follow Ben and Dani out into the shop.

Want to go with them? It’d be fun but…freeze my ass off? Nope. I had enough of the winter weather when I took Ben sledding last month. January is cold, but February is brutal. "I have things to do."

"Dani." Morgan clicks a button on his key fob and his Hummer starts up. "Why don’t you show Ben your CD collection in my car? I need to talk to Shay before we leave."

She nods, and my heart sinks as I watch them head toward the door. I never let Ben outside in this neighborhood alone. It’s too dangerous. My pulse pounds through my veins as I move toward the door.
Is Gary out there?
I don’t think he’d take him this soon, but then again the little shit is methodical. He might think that I’d assume that.

Morgan grabs my arm. "Relax. We can still see them. Once they climb in I’ll lock it."

"You obviously haven’t thought of carjackers. And your car running with no one behind the wheel? In this neighborhood, that’s an open invitation."

"Good point." He holds the door open for me. Cold air blasts my face. I’m in nothing but a tight red sweater, but my body temperature is running a little hot these days, so I don’t mind the chill for a few seconds. We watch them climb into the Hummer and slam the doors.

Morgan pulls me in for a hug and his musky scent surrounds me.
God, I love that smell.
Warmth and a sense of belonging chase away the stress from today. "You sure you don’t want to come and keep me company?"

He backs away. His heated gaze roams over my body like he can see right through my clothing. My core tightens.

"It could be fun." He waggles his eyebrows.

I laugh. "Trust me, Ben will be more than enough
excitement for you. And I’ve got lawyers to call. I want to be prepared when Gary decides to come at me." And I need to call the social worker who monitored me after Gary went to jail. I want to be ahead of the game.

Guilt slams into me. Embarrassment from what happened earlier quickly follows. How can I put Morgan through all this? He didn’t sign on for my problems. "You know, you might want to re-think this whole situation."

"I love sledding." Morgan’s eyes reflect the glare of the sun coming off the snow. His light blue irises are ringed with a royal blue and his pupils are dilated.

Odd. Don’t they usually get smaller in the light? "I’m not talking about sledding."

He sighs, and tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "If this is about–"

"You don’t understand. I have a ton of things going on, a lot of stressful things. Gary. You shouldn’t have to deal with my baggage. What happened today is just a small portion of it. So if you want to back out of our arrangement, I won’t blame you. I can handle being a single parent."

"What!" Morgan backs up to his Hummer, eyebrows touching the sky. "Why would you suggest that?"

I shouldn’t have said anything. I should’ve waited until he brought Ben back from sledding. "Try to understand. I—"

"Enough. I don’t want to talk about this now." He moves toward me. "We still have a lot of stuff to work through. But I promised to take some kids sledding, and I’m not going to break my promise to them. I can’t believe you would suggest—never mind. Whatever shit you got going on—" He sighs and his eyes soften. "We’ll talk about this after dinner tonight. When we’re alone. Okay?"

Apparently he doesn’t want to give up his kid. Maybe he thinks we are spending too much time together, and that we should only stick to doctor’s appointments. But he called me his woman. God, I love the sound of that. A part of me
says it was just words—he said it when Gary was threatening me, so it’s not like he meant it. Right? I’m so damn confused.

He leans in and his warm lips press against my cold cheek, then they move to my ear. "I’ll see you later. Dress for comfort." Heat travels from my ear down my neck to my erect nipples, then south. I shiver from the mix of the warmth inside me and the cold winter air.

He backs away, climbs into his Hummer and rolls down the passenger side window. "I’ll call when we’re done sledding. Now get your butt inside before you become an ice sculpture." He smiles and winks.

I nod and turn toward the shop as his Hummer pulls away.

I’m getting a babysitter tonight. If we’re going to have a deep convo, I don’t want Ben around.

Dress for comfort
. Ha! Yeah, maybe that’s his way of saying he doesn’t want to be tempted.

Disappointment washes through me. We said we would just be friends. It’s been a month since we’ve slept together, and every night I dream about him. Him taking me from behind. The soft kisses he gives me along my shoulders and down my spine. His strong biceps caging me as he thrusts into me. But it’s the one dream of having him above me, seeing his eyes as he moves over me, in me. Watching his abs shift as he does an erotic dance between my thighs.

My stomach flips.

That dream sticks with me the most. I’ve never done it that way before. Part of me wants to try it with Morgan. To make that dream a reality.

A blast of icy wind cuts around me and I shiver. Needing to warm up, I enter the shop. It’s empty. Bebe must have slipped out the back so she wouldn’t disturb us. I smile.

WWBD? I hear her words ring out in my head.
Do it, girl. Seize the moment by the horns and rock that bitch.
Maybe she’s right. If Morgan and I are going to cool down our relationship, I might as well go out with a bang, right?