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Authors: Gerry Bartlett

Tags: #Glory St. Clair#8

Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans

BOOK: Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans
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“Real vampires, real fun, real sexy!”

—Kerrelyn Sparks,
New York Times
bestselling author of
Sexiest Vampire Alive

Praise for

Real Vampires Don’t Wear Size Six

“This is an amazing series! It flies by, and the levels of action, compassion and humor are all well-balanced. Read the entire series, right now!”


Fresh Fiction

“I have said it before and will say it again; this is a great laugh-out-loud series. This series is a keeper.”


Night Owl Reviews

Real Vampires Have More to Love

“A book that you can reread again and again. I have been with Glory from the start and can’t wait to see what happens next. Each book is like coming home and catching up with old friends. These books are keepers… I will keep reading this series as long as Ms. Bartlett keeps them coming.”


Night Owl Reviews

“Fans will learn new and interesting tidbits about familiar characters and meet some fascinating new ones, making this addition to Bartlett’s vampire series an entertaining read.”


RT Book Reviews

Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs

“Laugh-out-loud fun… the story that sets up several interesting prospects for future Glory adventures.
Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs
has a reserved spot on my keeper shelf!”


Fresh Fiction

“The chemistry between Glory and Jerry is explosive. But when you add in the secondary characters, the result is nonstop laughter! Gerry Bartlett brings Glory to life and deals with the problems we all face. There is a little something for every reader in this story: sex, laughter, romance and a surprise ending that leaves you wanting more.”


The Romance Readers Connection

“Ms. Bartlett brings us the fifth installment in her highly entertaining Real Vampires series. This is one of the most laugh-out-loud books I have read in a long time.”


Night Owl Reviews

Real Vampires Don’t Diet

“Fun and fast-moving with lots of action.”


RT Book Reviews

“An engaging urban fantasy filled with action and amusing chick-lit asides. Glory is terrific.”


Midwest Book Review

“Provides the adventure and surprises fans have come to expect from this fun series, with more turmoil and temptation than ever.”


Darque Reviews

Real Vampires Get Lucky

“Another humorous chapter in Glory’s life that will not disappoint.”


Romance Junkies

“Gerry Bartlett delivers another winner… Ms. Bartlett’s gift for humor, the bawdier the better, is evident throughout, and the different story lines are interwoven seamlessly to give the reader a thoroughly entertaining read. Fans rejoice—this one’s a keeper!”


Fresh Fiction

“Fun, fast moving and introduces some wonderful new characters, along with having plenty of familiar faces.”


RT Book Reviews

Real Vampires Live Large

“Gerry Bartlett has created a laugh-out-loud book that I couldn’t put down.
Real Vampires Live Large
is a winner.”


The Romance Readers Connection

“Glory gives girl power a whole new meaning, especially in the undead way. What a fun read!”


All About Romance

“The return of ancient vampiress Glory surviving in a modern world is fun to follow as she struggles with her lover, a wannabe lover, vampire killers and Energy Vampires; all want a piece of her in differing ways. Fans of lighthearted paranormal romps will enjoy Gerry Bartlett’s fun tale starring a heroine who has never forgiven Blade for biting her when she was bloated.”


Midwest Book Review

Real Vampires Have Curves

“A sharp, sassy, sexy read. Gerry Bartlett creates a vampire to die for in this sizzling new series.”

—Kimberly Raye,
USA Today
bestselling author of
Sucker for Love

“Hot and hilarious. Glory is Everywoman with fangs.”

—Nina Bangs,
USA Today
bestselling author of
Wicked Edge

“Full-figured vampire Glory bursts from the page in this lively, fun and engaging spin on the vampire mythology.”

—Julie Kenner,
USA Today
bestselling author of
Aphrodite’s Kiss

“Hilariously delightful… Ms. Bartlett has a winner.”


Fresh Fiction

“Nina Bangs, Katie MacAlister, Mary Janice Davidson and Lynsay Sands, make room for the newest member of the vamp sisterhood, because Gerry Bartlett has arrived.”

—ParaNormal
Romance.org

Titles by Gerry Bartlett

REAL VAMPIRES HAVE CURVES

REAL VAMPIRES LIVE LARGE

REAL VAMPIRES GET LUCKY

REAL VAMPIRES DON’T DIET

REAL VAMPIRES HATE THEIR THIGHS

REAL VAMPIRES HAVE MORE TO LOVE

REAL VAMPIRES DON’T WEAR SIZE SIX

REAL VAMPIRES HATE SKINNY JEANS

GERRY BARTLETT

 

THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP

Published by the Penguin Group

Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada
(a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) • Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL,
England • Penguin Group Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin
Books Ltd.) • Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia
(a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.) • Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community
Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi—110 017, India • Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive,
Rosedale, Auckland 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.) • Penguin Books
(South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa

Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

This is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

Copyright © 2012 by Gerry Bartlett.

Excerpt from
Real Vampires Know Hips Happen
by Gerry Bartlett copyright © 2012 by Gerry Bartlett.

Cover art by Chris Long.

Cover design by Diana Kolsky.

Text design by Kristin del Rosario.

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

BERKLEY
®
is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

The “B” design is a trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

PUBLISHING HISTORY

Berkley trade paperback edition / April 2012

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Bartlett, Gerry.

Real vampires hate skinny jeans / Gerry Bartlett.

p.      cm.

ISBN: 978-1-101-56151-5

1. Saint Clair, Glory (Fictitious character)—Fiction.    2. Vampires—Fiction.    I. Title.

PS3602.A83945R427      2012

813′.6—dc23

2011045196

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

10    9    8    7    6    5    4    3    2    1

ALWAYS LEARNING

PEARSON

To all of my fans,
especially my street team members,
who are always willing to spread the good word.
Thanks so much!

Acknowledgments
 

This book is possible because of the many people who support me. I had a very tough year with the loss of my mother to cancer. As always, my critique partners, Nina Bangs and Donna Maloy, were by my side. My great agent, Kimberly Whalen, was my first reader and steered this book down the right path. And, of course, I am grateful to the fantastic team at Berkley, headed by my editor, Kate Seaver, who has remarkable patience. I also have a copy editor with an eagle eye and an art department that always gets the cover just right. Thanks to them, Glory and her pals get to you in good order and on time despite my best efforts to make it otherwise. All of you help make this series one of the favorite things I’ve ever done.

Table of Contents
 

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

Eighteen

Ninteen

One

BOOK: Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans
9.38Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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