Recovery (2 page)

Smile still intact, Harlow simply nods her head. “Yep, you’re gonna have a baby.” She lets out a small giggle. “I guess you have your blue now…you know, for the wedding. All is complete.”

As I sit on the toilet, the knowledge that I am
indeed
going to have a baby settles into my thick brain. “Harlow, I’m not too sure about this. Throwing another baby into the mix is just plain crazy.”

“Well, I don’t really think you have much of a choice in the matter. Good thing you have nine months to get used to the idea. Plus, you have Blake,
doofus
. You’re not doing it yourself.”

Blake! Wedding!
I jump up from my seat.

“Harlow, we need to get going! We’re going to be so late! Nancy already took the girls, right?”

“Yeah, she took them about thirty minutes ago. They needed to get there early for the pictures, remember?” My eyebrows press together in confusion.

“Then why did you lock the bathroom door when you came in earlier?” I ask. Harlow shrugs her shoulders.

“I don’t know. It just seemed like the right thing to do.” I shake my head and laugh under my breath.

“You’re ridiculous.” Taking one last long look in the mirror, I smooth out the top of my dress and let out a calming breath as my hands glide easily over the lace overlay, find their way to the rose colored satin sash that encircles my waist, and come to rest on my stomach.
Okay…I’m having a baby.
I give myself a reassuring nod.
I can do this.
I cast a glance down to my tummy.

“Alright, little
lovebug
. Let’s go tell your daddy.”

After a last minute stop to pick up Blake’s
new
wedding present, Harlow and I are
finally
on our way to the wedding.
Fashionably late.
But seeing as though Harlow
is
the one responsible for getting me there, I’m pretty sure it’s expected.

As my dear friend finds her solace in singing horribly off key to a classic Celine Dion song, I tune her out, disappearing into my own happy place. Extending my fingers, I gaze down at the beautiful teardrop solitaire engagement ring that was placed on my left ring finger merely a month ago. As the memory replays itself in my mind, I’m once again looking into those beautiful light green eyes while Blake delivers the speech that forever captured my heart…

“Alex. I love you. It’s always been you. Your eyes, your lips, your smile, your spirit, your humor, even your God awful temper,” he breaks with a slight chuckle. “Every single part of you has been and always will be my reason for living. I know our paths went separate ways for a very long time, but I truly believe everything happens for a reason. I don’t know why and I’m not going to pretend that I do or that I ever will. But what I do know for certain is now that I have you, I’m never, ever going to let you go again. You are mine. Without you, I am nothing.” I watch as he kneels to the ground and reaches forward to wrap his fingers around my wrist, his eyes holding mine the entire time. With his thumb now in the center of my hand, he gently pushes it back, exposing my palm. I feel the pressure as he slides his thumb up towards my relaxed fingers, holding my hand in place. Breaking my stare, he shuts his eyes as he leans forward and places a tender, lingering kiss right in the palm of my hand. After probably the most sensual palm kiss in the history of palm kisses, his loving eyes once again find mine. “Alex, will you do me the great honor of being my wife?”

“Jesus! Is it ‘National
Fucking
Take Your Sweet Ass Time Day’? Why the
hell
didn’t I get the memo? Assholes!” Harlow yells to no one and everyone at the same time, bringing me out of my blissful memory and back to reality where I apparently have taken up company with a bat out of hell.

“Hello! Harlow! Baby on board here!” I yell over poor Celine.
If she only knew how her song had just been mercilessly butchered.

“Oh. My. God. Using the pregnancy card already? You’re, like,
two
seconds pregnant.”

Harlow gives me her usual annoyed glare, and I laugh not at the look on her face, but at
all
the fun I’m going to have when
she
gets knocked up. She has absolutely no idea.

“Well, I would like to live to three seconds pregnant…think you can manage that? I don’t know why you’re freaking out. It’s not like they can start without me. So, calm your ass down and breathe. We’re almost there anyway.”

I feel the car begin to slow and watch as Harlow’s coloring returns to normal. “I know. I’m sorry.” She slams her hands down on the steering wheel and my heart jumps back into my throat.

Jeez—I don’t think I can take much more today.

“It’s just… I’m so excited! And nervous! And excited!” She turns to me with such an enormous smile on her face that it actually frightens me. I point my finger at the windshield, signaling for her to keep her damn eyes on the road, and to stop looking at me because she’s freaking me out. She continues with her excited, but nervous explosion of words.

“Alex, you’re getting married!
To Blake
! And you’re having another baby!
With Blake
! Can you believe it? The girls are going to go nuts! Ohmygod! What if it’s a boy?” She once again looks at me, eyes widened. “What if it’s a boy, Alex?” And then…she bursts out into laughter.

Typical.

“Do you even know what to
do
with a boy? Like, how to clean them properly? You know,
down there
?
Under
…
there
?” She scrunches her face like Rylie does when I try to make her eat her vegetables.

“Harlow, I think I’ll be fine. Many, many mothers have been able to handle having boys. Plus, that’s why I have Blake. I’m sure
he
knows all that stuff.”

“Well, I should hope he does!” Harlow barely squeaks out before we both break into a fit of the giggles upon finally reaching our destination. Coming to a stop, our laughter dies down. With the car in park and the ignition off, we turn to one another with smiles on our faces, both of which seem to be touched with a bit of sadness. It feels as though we’re saying goodbye. Not to each other necessarily, but to certain aspects of our friendship. Particularly the unhealthy and dysfunctional parts…like her need to take care of me and my need to use her as a crutch to get through life. It’s my time to move on with Blake and her time to live without constantly worrying about my welfare. Even though this is a good thing for
both
of us, it’s still closing the door to those parts of our lives.

I reach out, gathering Harlow’s hands in mine before I speak. “Thank you. For everything. I know I’ve said it a million times, but I wouldn’t have made it through the loss of Derek without you. You’ve practically raised my children with me, and you know, I think we did a pretty damn good job.” Feeling the tears gather in my eyes, I try to swallow them back. This really shouldn’t be a sad time, for either of us, but knowing she’s doing the same makes them rather difficult to contain.

“We did,” she responds with a swipe, removing the moisture on her cheek. “I’m kind of proud of us, actually. Who would have thought we could be such great parents? But it’s time, Alex, for both of us. It will be different, but…better.” She squeezes my hands gently, breaking the dam holding back my tears. So many times over the last three years she has given me that same tender gesture…willing me her strength when I had none, telling me she loved me when I needed to hear it, demonstrating her unfaltering support when doubting myself.

Different…but better.

Releasing our hands, we pull each other into a tight embrace. “I love you, Harlow.”

“Love you too, hun,” she lets out a sigh, “
but
, if you mess up my artistry on your face, I’m gonna have to downgrade that to a strong like.” I let her go as we begin to laugh, and just like that…no more tears. Quite a few sniffles, but no more tears.

“Well, you ready?” she asks me after a few seconds.    

Right at that moment, I happen to glance over her shoulder, catching my first glimpse of Blake. With Rylie on his hip and Kyndall holding his hand, he confidently makes his way over to where Nycole and my parents are standing. After placing Rylie on the ground, he shakes my father’s hand and flashes them his devastatingly beautiful smile, making my heart melt.

“Most definitely.”

Sniffling one last time, I open the car door.

I couldn’t be more ready.

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The second I set my foot down on the ground, my sense of smell is assaulted by the overwhelming smell of fish. Fish and flowers. Grimacing, I make what I can only assume is the most unattractive face imaginable and pray no one has noticed the bride has
finally
arrived. I close my eyes and shake my head in a pitiful attempt to rid my nose of the awful fragrance. It’s everywhere. I can feel the blood draining from my face where it seems to be forming a tight knot in my stomach. When I attempt to swallow, I find it damn near impossible. My throat feels like I just downed a bucket full of glue.

Ah pregnancy, how I’ve missed you.

“Oh my God, Alex, are you okay?” Harlow slams her door and rushes to where I’m standing. Well, attempts to rush. Her expletives get increasingly worse as she stumbles over almost every piece of gravel that she comes across. “Goddamn it,” she mutters, adding an extra “Fuck it” before removing her shoes and tossing them on the car.

“Only for you, Alex. Only for you do I do these things. These heels are gorgeous and here they are, being battered by rocks because you just
had
to get married at the lake. I get it. I can be sentimental too, but my shoes…”she trails off as she turns her head to the hood of her car.

“Harlow, I love your shoes, I
really
do, but, I’m about to lose my breakfast here. How the
hell did I
ever
find this scent appealing?” I shake my head again, but the jarring of my brain seems to only antagonize the nausea. My teeth clench tight, sealing my mouth shut. This is going to be a
major
problem during the vows.

I brace myself against the car, willing my brain to get the message to the little guy running the tilt-a-whirl in my stomach that
this ride is closed
. A light breeze blows and I wince in preparation for my next intake of air, but as soon as it hits and I breathe it in, my body relaxes.

The blood knotting my stomach is redistributed. My jaw unclenches. Tilt-a-whirl guy’s evidently on break.

I take in a long, deep breath.

I know that smell. The scent is unmistakable.

Leather and soap.

I pivot myself slowly, keeping my arms bent behind me against Harlow’s car just in case I need the support. Which definitely works to my advantage, because the moment my eyes take in my husband-to-be, my knees go weak.

Good. God.

I mean, Blake is always handsome, no matter what he’s wearing. T-shirt and jeans, button-up and khakis, plaid pajama pants, nothing at all…

The corner of my mouth lifts slightly as the thought crosses my mind.

But Blake in a tuxedo?
Absolutely breathtaking.

His hair styled perfectly, lightly gelled back away from his face, little sections still perfectly messy as they flip out from behind his ears and curl away from the nape of his neck. Black jacket, fit to perfection over his broad shoulders. Crisp white button down which, unfortunately, is covering his rock hard stomach – the one I can’t wait to run my fingers all over later. Black bow tie wrapping itself around that neck that I can’t wait to kiss and nibble on later…

I see his mouth moving, but all I can focus on are his full lips. I really want to taste those lips.

Damn hormones
.

“Alex, I asked if you’re okay.” I force my blank stare away from his mouth where I just started focusing on his tongue.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?” My eyes keep trying to make the journey back down to his mouth, but I manage to keep them above nose level. Which is
not
easy…

“You’re as white as a ghost. Do you need a drink? You look…
nervous
. Absolutely beautiful, but nervous. ”

“NO!” Harlow and I shout simultaneously. Harlow stifles a giggle and clears her throat. “I guess I better go.
Alex,
good luck my friend.
Blake,
I would grab that drink if I were you. You’re gonna need it.”

She whisks her shoes off the car and slides them on her feet. “I’m going to go find Trace and give you two some much needed
alone
time. I haven’t seen
my
man all day, and I’m sure he’s going into withdrawals.” Her eyes bounce back and forth between Blake and my stomach. “Yeah, so…I’m out.”

Harlow marches her way to where Trace is standing, his arm stretching for her and a grin on his face. She stumbles one more time before completing her trek. I smile in spite of her clumsiness; I can’t help but hope that I’ll be attending
her
wedding soon. She and Trace have been dating since the night at George’s bar, when I more or less told Blake I didn’t
need
him to save me, which, in retrospect, couldn’t be further from the truth. My grin widens as I watch them together. I know
her
time is coming soon, and it makes my heart swell with happiness. After a couple of seconds, I turn to Blake. My smile fades when I see the concern etched on his face.

“Are you okay?” He reaches out and runs his knuckles down my cheek, then places his hand on the back of my neck while continuing to stroke my face with his thumb. I tilt my head into his hand and inhale deeply.

God, I love this man.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Harlow’s just being
Harlow
, you know how she is. That being said, I
do
have something to tell you. But, I’d like to give you a little something first.”

Blake’s eyes light up as a mischievous smile spreads widely across his face. “Wait…I have something for you too. Hold on.”

Whipping around, he races down the gravel path to where all of our guests are congregating and runs right up to Nycole, leaning to whisper something into her ear. A huge smile extends across her face while she nods her head at him, clapping her hands excitedly as they head off together…somewhere.
What are they up to?

I take in another breath. My senses must have acclimated themselves to the floral fish smell because now I barely smell anything. Shielding my eyes, I peer out over the lake. The bright orange sun seems to be sitting right on the water, with its reflection dancing on the ripples passing just underneath it. I glance at the old familiar wisteria trees as the light breeze blows the branches ever so slightly. Our cove. At sunset.

Absolute perfection.

“This is where your daddy first kissed me.
Twice
.” I lightly graze my hands over my tummy. It seems hard to believe that it’s only been seven months since he kissed me on the cheek, right here. The same place he kissed me when we were twelve years old. It only seems fitting that we come together as husband and wife right where it all started.

Full circle.

“And now we have to tell him about you, little lovebug, so hang tight. I’ll let you know what happens.”

I whirl myself around, opening Harlow’s car door to fetch Blake’s present. The silver wrapping definitely won’t be giving anything away. I could have wrapped it in baby covered paper I suppose, but I really hate pastels.
Immensely.

Closing the door, I turn back around just in time to see Blake coming back up the path, beaming from ear to ear, holding a shiny white package in his hands. Perfectly wrapped, of course, with a gorgeous silver bow tied around it.

I can’t help but smile as he approaches. “Nice wrapping job there, Blake.” We laugh together as we exchange gifts. “Well, who goes first?” I ask him, holding the box to my ear while gently shaking it back and forth. It’s light.
Interesting.

“Ladies first, of course.” He gestures at the gift. “But, before you open it, I just want to tell you that you look absolutely amazing, Alex. I have never seen you look so beautiful. Now that you actually have color in your cheeks again,” he finishes with a trademark chuckle and a lingering kiss to my temple.

“Thank you, Blake. You also look amazing, as usual. I kind of want to jump your bones, actually.” I press into him, wrapping my arms around his waist. Hearing a soft growl from him in response, a smile breaks across my face and my heart picks up its pace. “We’ll have plenty of time for that later, Alex.” He snickers lightly under his breath. “Go ahead, open your present.”

Unthreading my arms, I grin up at him before ripping the paper to shreds. I’ve always been a little
too
excited when it comes to presents. Quickly turning around, I set the box on the hood of the car before opening it. As I lift the top, and see its contents, I let out a little laugh.
Yeah, Nycole definitely helped with this.

Inside the box is a white t-shirt with iron-on pink glittery letters that reads: