Sapphire (17 page)

“I can’t do this,” she kept saying to herself like a
mantra.
I can’t let everyone keep believing in this stupid
quest, or in me. I’ll end up killing everyone, almost have
already.
These thoughts continued to cycle like boulders,
rolling faster and faster through her mind and causing avalanches
of doubt and self-surrender. She had no idea where she was going
just that the opposite direction in the way she had been going
seemed like the best path. The consideration of anyone following
her, even the possibility of molochs, didn’t grab her diverted
attention until she smacked into a tree, and a voice cut through
the symphony of crickets.

“Having fun walking into trees?”

She nearly jumped out of her skin and reflexively
threw her sword up, waving it blindly around like a maniac.

“You’re going to slice your pretty face off,” a
masculine voice said from somewhere close. “Or worse,
my
pretty face.”

She gasped. “Orin?”

He stepped into the scant moon light as soon as she
stopped trying to decapitate herself.

He said ‘pretty,’
her silly mind said
gleefully, forgetting everything else. Her ‘pretty’ face flushed,
and she was grateful it was dark.

“You’re not exactly the best at escaping, you know.
You stomp around louder than a cross-eyed cyclops.”

She smiled, relieved, until she realized she was
actually angry that he had followed her.

“Don’t stop me,” she said, turning and stomping off
into the woods again, hands searching for more invisible tree
trunks.

He jogged up to her, amazingly silent and stealthy
considering she could barely see ten feet in front of her face. He
grabbed her shoulder, and she allowed herself to give in to his
persuasive touch. It didn’t occur to her that she
wanted
him
to stop her. Some part of her pretended she was being rebellious
but just too weak to fend off his strong grip. She caught herself
mutely staring at the faint light reflecting off his lips, eyes,
and framing his jaw. He had been staring as well, his hand still
curled over her shoulder. He let go and stepped back.

“Where are you going?” he said.

She had to stop herself from taking a step forward.
“I can’t do this.”

She suddenly wondered if she had meant their
perilous journey, or the perilous feelings that swelled up in her
every time he touched her. She thought of Mira’s warning, but waved
it away and took a deep breath. Her heart was hammering so hard
that she felt light headed.

“Everyone’s almost been killed because of this,” she
began. “Because you all believe in something that’s not
true!
” She didn’t think she was going to yell, but here she
was, erupting like a volcano, letting the whole forest know about
it.

“I’m
not
a powerful sorceress. I have no idea
what I’m doing, or how, or why. I don’t
want
this. I don’t
care
about
this!
” She waved her hands at him
dismissively. “We’re having a great time and all, running from
monsters, fighting evil things, or whatever, but I…am
done
.
I’m
done
. I’m going back home, somehow, to my
real
home. My
real
family. My real
life.
” She turned to
leave again, this time determined to let nothing, not even a tree,
stop her.

“But
this
is real.”

She halted like she’d walked into a brick wall, her
breath caught in her chest. She made to take a step again, but he
grabbed her arm and whispered in her ear, “this is real.”

She turned around. They were face to face.

“What do you mean?” she said, trying to hold onto
any vestige of her former determination to abandon everything.

All she felt now was an abandonment of herself,
there was nothing and no one, but Orin. He was so close she felt
the warmth radiating from his muscles. His arms wrapped around her,
pressing their bodies together, their lips almost touching. Then
before she knew what was happening, he pressed his lips to hers and
everything disappeared. Her fear, her doubt, her anger, their
journey, all evaporated leaving only this moment, this reality.

He pulled away.
No
, her mind reeled, trying
to stay in that wonderful moment.
No, stay close.
But he was
releasing her, resisting her as she reluctantly let that moment
fade like a daydream. He still had his arms around her waist, and
hers around his, as he looked down at her.

“Don’t run away,” he said. The sound of his voice
lulled and calmed her mind. “I know it seems difficult, or
impossible, but we all believe in you.
I
believe in you.”
She smiled at this. “You
can
do this, and only you.” He
smiled. She felt intoxicated. “Let me help you.”

Something about his words seemed comforting,
yet…

“It’s just a necklace. It doesn’t have to be a chain
anymore. Let me take it for you.”

Let me take it for you,
echoed in her mind.
Yes,
her mind answered.
Give it to him. He’s stronger.
He’s the one that should be doing this, not you. You’re weak. Trust
him. Trust him…

She made to lift it off her chest, the stones felt
heavy as lead, and she was glad to be rid of it. Besides, Orin was
the warrior. It made so much more sense if it were his
responsibility. It was almost over her head when noises rustled in
the bushes. Someone was coming towards them. She paused, looking
for the source of the footsteps, letting the leather strap fall
over her ears again, and the sapphires fall across her collar
bones. Antares and Mira stepped out from the underbrush; her bright
horn cast long shadows about them. Shawna hadn’t noticed Orin
quickly move away from her, his jaw clenched, right before they
were interrupted.

“I found her,” he said, as if no interaction but
this had ever happened between them.

Mira looked at him, suspicion flashing in her eyes.
She turned away from him and stepped over to Shawna. Antares
grumbled. Orin glared at him, and his grumble turned into a haughty
sniff.

“What do you think were you doing?” Mira said.

Her voice rattled Shawna back to the present
situation. She blinked, looked at Mira and thought how strange it
was to see a resemblance of her chastising step-mother in the angry
face of a unicorn. She suddenly felt like a stupid child, running
off into the night, alone, into danger, like she was jumping
through her window with her step-mother’s diamond cross. But this
wasn’t Montana. This wasn’t even a world she knew. There were no
buzzing insects, or small creatures rustling under leaves. Instead,
there were large ferocious monsters lurking in these woods
searching for her, wanting to kill her. She realized facing the
monstrosity Karuna hadn’t been idiotic.
This
was idiotic…and
cowardly.

“Whether the rest of us agree with your actions or
not,” said Mira, “you are free to make your own decisions. I may be
your guardian, but do what you think you must.”

Instantly Shawna felt forlorn and upset with her own
behavior. Who was she to think she could just run away from it all?
Like that would solve everything, or silence the pernicious voices
in her head. She let the shame of her decision wash over her as
Mira and Antares turned to walk back. They knew she would follow.
She glanced up, looking for Orin, hoping for sympathetic eyes, for
that connection they had only minutes ago, but he was not there. He
had gone on ahead.

He thinks I’m a frightened little girl for
running off like that.
And he’s right. I am.
She glared
at the roots that tried to trip her and drag her to her knees as
they made their way through the dark. She climbed over the fallen
log and stepped into their clearing. Lula had been oblivious to the
whole ordeal, happily asleep in a puff-pod. Shawna looked for Orin,
but he was already huddled against a tree with his back to her. She
sighed, and went to lie down against Mira’s warm side. Nearly all
night she remained awake, thinking, listening to Mira’s deep
breaths, and glancing towards Orin’s silhouette. When birds began
to sing, calling on dawn, she finally closed her eyes.

She was grateful that no one mentioned her silly
romp through the woods. When Lula flew up to give her a bracelet of
iridescent imp blossoms that were enchanted to never wilt or fall
apart, Shawna didn’t avert her eyes or hang her head.

“You seem,” Lula began, as Shawna admired her gift,
“um, different.”

Shawna glanced at Orin’s back, a few yards ahead of
them, leaping from boulder to boulder while Antares did the same.
It was like they were in contest, one trying to out-leap the other,
though Antares obviously had the upper-hand, or paw. Something like
disgust glimmered across Lula’s face.

“Did…did you?” she stuttered, glancing from Shawna
to Orin and back again. “Did something happen between you
two?!”

Shawna was amazed that her little friend, usually as
clueless as she was about things, could so easily see the flame of
affection she felt for him.

“What?” She tried to feign innocence, though she
could see Lula crossing her arms at this lame act. “I—” She played
with the flower bracelet. “I don’t know. No. Maybe. Not like that.
What do you mean exactly?” She knew she sounded like a blundering,
besotted, numb-tongued moron.

Lula continued to stare at her while flying
backwards at face level, arms crossed.

“We kissed, all right,” Shawna hissed, looking
intently at the duff covered path they had been following.

“Ew.”

“Ew?” Her eyes snapped up to Lula’s, who looked
sincerely disgusted.

“Him? You actually kissed
him?
” Lula
grimaced. “Why?”

“Why do you think? Cuz
he
kissed
me
,
why else? What’s wrong with that?”

“What’s
wrong
is that you’re
Ava
, oh
powerful one meant to save our world.” Her tone was as sharp as
Shawna’s glare, but Lula was undeterred. “You’re not supposed to be
slobbering over some big-lipped, pretty boy. You have a purpose
here! You have something that none of us, not me, not Mira, not
Antares, have. Something within you, that’s
not
your tongue,
that will
hopefully
help us. And we aren’t about to let you
forget that.” Lula took a breath from her rant, and Shawna snatched
the moment to rave back.

“
Apparently
not!” Her stomping feet
accidently kicked and stumbled over a rock, but she ignored the
ungraceful moment and the pain in her toe. “For one thing, my name
is
not
‘Ava.’ And I don’t
have
to do anything. I
chose
to do this. I didn’t ask to be here, but I guess you
all can’t
survive
without me, so I’ll do what I want like
save your glittery-butt, and kiss
pretty
boys. I don’t need
your approval. What’s
your
purpose? Huh? Cuz it’s certainly
not
saving
anyone!”

Too late she realized she had gone too far as Lula’s
lip began to tremble, and her eyes welled up with tears.

“Y-you think he feels the-the
same
as you?”
The tears fell freely from her tiny eyes. “You think he cares about
you more than
we
do, your
highness?!”
Then she flew
away into the nearby lichen-laced trees.

Shawna mentally kicked herself and blinked back her
own tears. She tried to validate her outburst as she followed the
sound of Mira’s hooves up ahead, but Lula hadn’t deserved that. As
her nose filled up with unshed tears and she sniffed, she saw that
Orin and Antares had given up on trying to out-macho one another.
That, or else Orin had realized he probably couldn’t compete with a
nine hundred pound killing-machine. He was now crouched on a high
moss-tufted boulder, staring into the ravine below. Antares was
standing alert on another boulder, staring down in the same
direction. Mira took one more step, stopped, and slowly turned
around with nostrils flaring. Antares unleashed a tremendous roar
that made Shawna’s heart bounce off her ribs like a rubber ball.
She ran over, scrambled up Orin’s rock, and wished she were a
million miles higher.

A sea of dark shapes was amassed less than half a
mile down the mountain, rising and falling in great swells while
the earth rumbled like an oncoming storm. Molochs, thousands upon
thousands of them. Panic-stricken, she reached down and grabbed the
hilt of her crystal sword till her hand was numb. Where did all
those monsters come from? How did they find them so quickly? It
looked like their strength was actually growing, not waning, as she
watched them start to climb up the steep slope towards them.