Scared Scriptless (10 page)

“Did you always know you wanted to work in the industry?” He makes exaggerated air quotes. A little thrown by the direct question, I shift in my chair to look at him more fully and I see that he has already done the same. His steady gaze seems sincere, prompting me to answer honestly. I tell him a very abridged version of how I ended up here, glossing over the connection to Hogan. He seems genuinely interested, asking questions, so I end up telling some of my favorite war stories.

“What about you? Was
Days
your first role?” Turning the tables gets me out of the hot seat, and I’m actually curious to hear Adam’s backstory.

“Nah, I sort of fell into this career. My parents were pretty disappointed when I told them I wanted to try acting. I was on this fast track to becoming a lawyer, joining my dad’s law firm in New York. He still thinks someday I’m going to wake up and get a ‘real job.’ ” Adam laughs, but this time there’s a definite edge.

“I don’t know how long I would’ve hung in trying, and I guess I’ll never know. I got a couple commercials right out of the gate and then booked
Days
,” Adam says modestly.

“And the rest is history.”

“Exactly. Well, it’s the present anyway. And that’s how I like it.”

“Living in the present?” I think about how much time I spend mentally making lists of all the things I need to do and remember to do in the future, whether it’s five minutes from now, next week, or next month.
I should try living in the moment,
I think. And then can’t help but laugh at the thought.

“What’s funny?”

“Oh just the thought of me ‘being in the moment.’ I wouldn’t last five minutes without trying to plan something,” I confess.

“Well, Maddy. Like with the ad-libbing, I guess we’ll have to work on that.” Adam looks directly into my eyes again. This guy is not shy about eye contact. “This moment may be all we have. All we’ll ever have. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering ‘what if?’ ”

It takes me several seconds to pull myself together. Is he for real?

“Wow… you’re good.” I give a little chuckle. “All that training in daytime TV. Do your girlfriends expect you to be like that in real life? Endlessly sweeping them off their feet with perfect lines and romantic moments?”

Adam laughs. “Well, some have, I guess. Maybe that’s why I’m single.” More heart-fluttering eye contact. “I’m more your laid-back romantic, I guess. I think sincere, thoughtful gestures can be better than expensive flashy ones.”

“Unless ‘laid-back’ is just code for classic guy laziness.”

“Could be. To me, a romance is about knowing her so well that you know that she’d rather find a handwritten note tied to
the tree she always rests on during her morning hike than some meaningless expensive jewelry bought last minute because Facebook reminded him it’s her birthday.”

Even though his tone is casual, I have to get up to shake off the absurd fantasies now running around my imagination. My excuse is taking my empty coffee cup to the industrial trash can behind the audio equipment.

“Do you mind if I steal that idea for the guy I’m seeing?” I chuckle, but even to my ears it sounds a little forced. Again, I wish I had a writer helping me with this conversation. I’ve waited too long to bring up that I’m seeing someone. I wonder if Billy has spilled the beans even though I told him that, for now, Craig and I are still trying to be as discreet as possible on set.

“I didn’t know you have a boyfriend.”

“Oh, well… he’s not officially my ‘boyfriend.’ ” What am I, fifteen? “It’s actually new… very new, and still casual… but you know, it’s fun.” I force myself to stop stammering as Adam looks at me for what feels like a full minute before he speaks.

“Hmmm. You don’t seem like someone swept away in a brand-new relationship.” Adam gets up, too, and tosses his with mine.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I can’t decide if I’m more defensive or curious about this observation.

“Nothing at all. Never mind. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“You didn’t.” But in fact, what he says stings a little.

“Good. I’m happy I’ve gotten to know you a little better, Maddy. I’d better go get touched up.” His hand is warm on my shoulder as he gives a squeeze and heads toward the makeup trailer. Now that he’s gone, I notice that everyone on the set seems to be moving more quickly. Frank hollers, “Picture’s up!” and it’s time to get back to work.

It’s after 9:00 p.m. when I knock on Craig’s door. I haven’t even had time to change from my work clothes. When he’d invited me for dinner, I had imagined having the chance to put on a dress and maybe even some makeup, but after that lighting debacle, we ended up jamming through the rest of the material. So now I’m starving and ready for a home-cooked meal.

Craig gallantly, or wisely (or both), has a glass of wine for me when he opens the door.

“What a day! I heard about the issues on set. You must be exhausted.”

“Thanks so much.” I take a sip of the chilled white wine. “This is delicious.”

“Glad you like it. It’s from my favorite vineyard up in Napa. They have the most gorgeous tasting room. We shot on location there once, and of course I needed to visit the set, for some very important reason,” Craig teases as he ushers me into the dining room.

“Wow, this looks beautiful.” The table has been set like we’re having a four-course meal. It looks very formal and like it took a long time to set up. My worn Chuck Taylors look even more out of place. Would it have killed me to throw on some lip gloss? “I’m so sorry you did all this and I’m so late. I didn’t mean for you to go to so much trouble.”

“It’s no trouble at all. I wanted to do it. You know I love to cook.
And I had my housekeeper stay and set the table. She wanted it to be very special for us. I told her we’re celebrating.”

I pause before taking another sip of wine. “We are? What are we celebrating?”

“I was going to wait to tell you, but I just can’t… You and I are going to develop a full pitch and sizzle reel for Wolf County! Isn’t that fantastic?!” He holds up his wineglass and clinks it with mine.

“Really? How did you manage to get the go-ahead that fast? I really didn’t think Hogan would go for it.”

“The thing is, Hogan can’t keep his head in the sand forever. He has to stay current, up with the times. And he knows it. That’s why he hired me to run HCP, not just the day-to-day stuff. He wants me thinking big picture.”

“I just thought he wanted to focus on his writing. Hasn’t HCP traditionally stuck to just one show at a time? I’ve never really even heard him talk about watching reality TV.” Again, I don’t mention that when it comes to reality TV, Hogan has used the words “Never. Nope. No way.” But I suppose it’s completely possible that he’s changed his mind.

“You sound like you wanted him to turn us down.”

“No, I don’t mean it like that at all. When I pitched you the idea, I guess I didn’t realize it would happen so fast. I mean, I haven’t even really talked to my parents, or anyone else in town about it yet.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. It’s probably better that you haven’t done that yet. We can tell them together.” It doesn’t even register right away how quickly Craig has latched on to this idea, but every time I think about how it could help my parents, and the town, I’m more excited about it. I decide to let the “we” and “us” stuff go, for now. “In fact, I was making a breakdown today of what the pilot episode could be about,” I say.

“I’m so glad you’re excited about it. Keep in mind it’ll have to be down and dirty. We won’t have a big budget for this,” Craig warns me.

“Well, it isn’t about high production value. It’s about the people, and how hard they’re working to keep the town alive. But we’re going to need some budget to get going. I mean, we’d have to stay competitive against the other shows that look glossy. What kind of numbers did you give Hogan?”

“No specific number. It’s a little preliminary for that. I’m just warning you that we’ll have to be conservative as we map out our concept.”

“To be honest, Craig, as exciting as this is, the whole idea does make me a little nervous.” I put down my fork. “This is my hometown, and it’s really important to me that you take that seriously. Invest in doing it right, committing to it.” I continue before he can say anything else. “I understand that the show has to make money; it’s a business. I get it,
but
it also has to be real, and true to what Wolf County is all about. That’s all. I don’t want it to turn into some reality train wreck. These people are my family, my home. They matter to me.”

Craig puts his hand on top of mine and meets my eyes. “I totally understand how important this is to you, Maddy. And that’s what’s going to make the show so successful. I know you have a vision for it, and you are the heart of the pitch. It’s exactly this passion and enthusiasm that’s going to get it sold. And for what it’s worth, I agree. We don’t need to manufacture drama; it’s all right there. Good, hardworking people dealing with the realities of this difficult economy, just like everyone else in this country. It’s going to be amazing.” He is smiling so hard, he can barely eat the delicious coq au vin he made.

“Is it too soon to ask if I’d get a screen credit?” His enthusiasm
is contagious. I picture my parents’ reaction to E
XECUTIVE
P
RODUCER
––M
ADELYN
C
ARSON
rolling across their screens. They would flip out.

“Nice one, Maddy.” Craig’s knowing glance somehow rubs me the wrong way. “I’m sure we can get you a ‘created by’ or something in the tail credits. But first, we’ve got to find the perfect person to be executive producer. Don’t worry, it’ll be in good hands. And in the meantime, you and I can do a great job putting together a pitch that will knock everyone’s socks off.”

As we start hashing out details, my wariness fades to the background. This could be really fun, and Hogan would be so proud that he gave me a chance way back when. Speaking of Hogan, this is a good opportunity to finally mention our connection to Craig. I am about to do so when he abruptly jumps up from the table, announcing he’ll be right back. He returns two minutes later with a printout of our reservations for a trip to Wolf County. In three days.

“Craig, this is crazy. We can’t go to Wolf in three days.”

“There’s no time like the present. We have to get up there and get everything sorted out. I’m going to bring my Canon 7D to take some great sample footage for the sizzle reel to show Hogan by next week. I’ve told you how crazy things have been at HCP. The only way to ensure job security is to have a new show green-lit this development season. Wolf County is it—I can feel it. Hogan and I are meeting next Tuesday morning, and I want to have something to show him to get excited.”

“But, Craig, I don’t see how that’s even possible!”

“We can do this, Maddy. And besides, I can’t wait to see where you come from and meet your family. Won’t they be excited to meet me too?”

“Um, yes, of course.” I’m sure that the universe will forgive
me for this little white lie. I’m sure that if my family actually knew he existed, they would be excited. So now I have to introduce my family to the guy I am dating, who is also my boss, sell them on a reality show, and put together a sizzle reel that’s going to impress Craig… and save Wolf County.

No problem.

Well, here goes nothing.

If Craig and I are going to head to Wolf County this weekend, I have to tell my parents. I don’t know why I’m so anxious about this. Oh wait, yes I do: one, they have no idea that I am dating my boss; two, I haven’t brought a guy home since, well… Brian; and three, we’re going to try to sell them on the idea of cameras following their friends and family everywhere for national TV. Oh God.

They are going to be full of questions. Which is why I’m calling now, fifteen minutes before I arrive at the set, so I’ll have to hop off the phone. Not the best evasion strategy in the world, but it’s all I’ve got right now.

The phone rings and I hear my dad’s booming voice. “Maddy? Is that you?”

Who else would be calling from my number? But Dad doesn’t trust the caller ID.

Seconds later my mom picks up a different line. “Hi, Maddy!”

“Hi, Mom. Oh good, both of you are there. Guess what?”

“What, dear?” they say in unison, which makes me smile.

“I’m headed back up to Wolf this weekend!”

“You are? That’s great, but you were just here. What’s going on?”

“Well, actually I am bringing… a coworker… a friend. It’s sort of a business trip.…”

Pull it together, Maddy.

“Oh, okay,” Mom says.

I can just see their confused glances across the living room.

“Look, we’re going to explain everything when we get there. It’s actually very exciting. But I want Craig to explain.”

“Craig is your… friend?”

“Well, yeah… actually we’ve been seeing each other.”

“Madelyn Rose Carson! We had no idea you had a boyfriend. How long has this been going on? Why on earth haven’t you mentioned him?” I can hear the hurt in her voice.

That’s a very good question. Why haven’t I mentioned Craig?

“Whoa, Mom. He’s not my boyfriend. It’s really new actually. And this is more of a work trip anyway. There’s a project we’re working on… about Wolf. We want to talk to you about it in person, and Craig wants to tour the town.”

“Wait, you and Craig work together? You’re dating someone in the company? You know that’s about as smart as bringing strawberries into a bear cage, right?”

Yup, my dad loves skipping right to the bottom line.

Luckily, by this point I’ve pulled into the studio lot, but something tells me I’m not going to be able to hop off the phone. I stop the engine and take a deep breath.

“Well, it sort of just happened, guys. I didn’t plan on it. He’s not an actor or anything. You’ll like him. He works with Hogan directly. One of the suits.”

I assume this will allay her concerns, but again, she doesn’t miss a thing.

“He works directly with Hogan? Madelyn Rose. Does that mean you are dating your boss?!”

Suddenly, I jump a mile high as someone knocks very loudly on my car window. I look up and see Adam’s beaming smile through the glass. How does this guy seem to pop up out of nowhere all the
time? I point to my earpiece to let him know I’m on the phone, but he does provide a perfect excuse.

“Look, Mom, it’s all good. Please don’t be weird about this when we get there. I’ll explain everything. I’m so excited to see you again, but I gotta go. I just pulled into the office and one of my coworkers needs me.” Adam is now leaning against my car. The top of his well-defined backside is right at my eye level through the window.

There’s a pause as if neither of them is quite ready to let this go. Dad finally says, “Okay, we’ll see you this weekend.” And Mom adds, “We’ll make up the guest room for Craig.” A not-so-subtle hint that we will not be sharing a room. I can’t help but laugh as I get out of the car.

“Your boyfriend say something funny?” Adam asks.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I was talking to my parents.” I grab my notebook, my bag, and my coffee cup and take off with a purposeful stride. Adam’s long legs allow him to catch up to me without even exerting himself.

“You in a hurry?”

“Well, I’m late, actually.” Meaning, of course, that I am only three minutes early. “I have to get a lot done since I’m going out of town.” I am not sure why I feel the need to share this and invite the inevitable follow-up question.

“Oh really, big weekend plans?”

I hesitate for a second. “Just going to visit my family.”

“Ahhh.” Adam makes a knowing, sympathetic sound.

“No, it’s fine. I love my family. They’re awesome. But it was a little last-minute and I’m sure they’ll have a million things planned for… me.” I almost slipped and said “us.” I know Adam won’t be shy about asking more about “us,” and I don’t want to invite any more questions about my love life.

“So how about next week we go get that drink you owe me,
and you can tell me all about them.” I look up at Adam, wondering if his persistence is impressive or annoying, and I completely forget to look where I’m going. Which is why I trip over the big yellow speed bump that has always been there, that I have seen and treaded over carefully with no problems for years. But today, in front of Adam Devin, I trip right over it. My JanSport backpack wasn’t fully zipped and it flies out of my hands, papers skidding everywhere. I would have gone sprawling after them if not for Adam’s quick reflexes. He catches me by the waist and pulls me in to him, steadying me against his chest.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” The less said on my end, the better. I can feel the redness of embarrassment heating my neck and flushing my cheeks. There is no way I’m looking up at him from this proximity. I’m no geometry expert, but that angle would lead to nothing but trouble. Not that my nose pressed into his chest inhaling his clean soap scent is necessarily better for my equilibrium.

Adam gives me a slight squeeze and then sets me loose. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

I’m standing there like those kids in ski school who are slightly dazed after their first high-speed run down the mountain.

“Oh, yeah… you know, thought you’d wanna see a demonstration of gravity,” I mutter to give myself a second to recover from the head rush. I watch him picking up my papers, stuffing them back into the bag.

“Ha! I know that movie…” He thinks for a second. “
Real Genius
, right? Val Kilmer?” He grabs my spiral notebook and that snaps me out of it.

“That’s the one.” I’m so busy collecting my stuff from him, starting with that notebook, that I don’t really appreciate his
movie trivia skills as much as I should. The last thing I need is for him to see any of my lists. “Thanks, I got this.”

“No problem.” He smiles, handing me my stuff. “So, next week? We can go near here if you want. I’d love to get you down to Venice. There’s this awesome café that looks out over the water. But that’s too much of a drive after work.”

I think it’s his assumption that I will say yes, even though I’ve been clear that I am not available, and that helps me find my backbone. This is a man who clearly isn’t used to taking no for an answer. “Well, first, we don’t know that you actually won the bet, so I don’t owe you a drink. And anyway, Adam, I’m not sure it’s a good idea for us to get a drink together. I wouldn’t want anyone to misunderstand, thinking that it was a date or something.”

“Why can’t it be a date?” Adam says with that same confident smirk on his face that I have seen so many times in close-up shots during filming.

“Because (A) I don’t date actors; (B) I’m definitely not breaking rule A for you; and (C) I already told you, I’m seeing someone.” That came out a little bitchier than I had intended, but his arrogant assumption that women everywhere will fall all over themselves for him gets under my skin. You’re barking up the wrong tree here, buddy.

“Interesting rules you’ve got there.” Adam’s smirk stays in place as he looks me up and down. “A and B have got to go. C… well, that’s fair, but you did say it was casual, right?”

Did I? I don’t even remember. I guess it’s not a total lie. Then again, Craig is meeting my entire family in twenty-four hours. But since I haven’t come up with a witty reply, I wait for Adam to fill the silence.

“This isn’t just some game to me, Maddy,” he says, as if reading my mind. He seems more serious, and I can hear the New
Yorker twang in his voice. “I dig you. I respect that you’re seeing someone. Lucky guy. But I know you won’t regret giving me a chance.”

He grabs my hand and squeezes it before he strolls off toward his trailer. It was totally innocent, but I still frantically look around to see who may have been looking. It would have been exactly like a scene from a soap opera, except that he’s serious. I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. He raises his hand in a backward wave but keeps walking. Which tells me two things: one, I’m still watching him walk away, and two, he knows I’m still watching.
Damn it.

As if things couldn’t get more complicated, I am barely through the door to the studio when my phone buzzes with an e-mail from Hogan’s assistant, Hudson, wanting to schedule a dinner with Hogan in two weeks. I don’t see how I can go for an entire meal without fessing up to Hogan that I’ve been dating Craig. But first, I’ll have to tell Craig about Hogan. And even before that, I have to get through this insanely busy day and a weekend in Wolf with Craig. I take a big deep breath and e-mail him back confirming that, yes, Thursday the 13th works for me. Then I take another breath and head to set.