SEAL Kissed: A Navy SEAL Military Romance (Hot Dirty SEALS Book 1) (8 page)

A
drenalin pumps through me
. The gas pedal in my crappy car is pushed to the floor and I still don't go over fifty miles per hour. The doors shake and the vibrating steering wheel makes my hands numb. Poor Marigold is sprawled on the passenger seat with her tongue hanging out.

How could I have been so stupid? If only I had checked all of those texts and voice mails Reed had sent before now I would have known he never
chose
to leave me. He had to leave me. How did I not know he was a Navy SEAL? I’m in San Diego, the birth place of SEALs.

All the signs were there. Tall and tan with broad shoulders, tattooed arms and a cocky arrogance oozing from his rock hard sexy body. A bossy son of a bitch. Overly confident in everything he did and always getting what he wanted.

Except for me. For the first time in my life a man has reached out to me and I’ve ignored him. I wasn't there for him. My beautiful man went to war without so much as a kiss goodbye. No love letters, no overseas phone calls, absolutely nothing.

He could have been killed in some country I can’t pronounce and I never would of known.

My legs can't get me to his front door fast enough. Marigold is huffing and puffing her way behind me, the scent of bacon treats stuffed in my pockets leading her way. With fists flying I pound away. Suddenly the door flies open and there he is. The same, but different. I swallow hard.

"Emerson. Didn't expect to ever see you again." His voice whips through me, spreading goosebumps over my pale flesh.

"Reed." It’s more of a whispered plea for forgiveness. "I’m sorry." Night is falling and the cool air chills my core. I shudder. My heart breaks at his battle worn face.

Finally able to focus I take him all in. Hair longer than I remember with a week's worth of stubble covers his strong jaw. His handsome face is more angular, sharper with heavy shadows and deeper creases. My eyes hesitate on those pink soft lips and memories of his magic mouth zip straight to my clenched thighs. He’s shirtless. His tanned torso shows evidence of war. A long laceration over his ribs sealed together with something that looks like crazy glue. I want to ask what happened but I’m too scared. Muscles flex and shift under my gaze and I can feel myself being turned on. Oh God, I’m a horrible person. This man in front of me could have been taken away forever never knowing how I truly felt. All because of my own selfishness to let him in. Marigold sits at his feet, tail wagging at mach speed.

"My pretty girl. How come you never returned any of my messages?" His long fingers twirl a section of my hair, pulling tight and forcing my head to tilt back. I feel him move closer. The air between us is electrified. Olive green sweatpants hang dangerously low on his narrow hips, doing nothing to disguise his raging erection. My throat constricts and my mouth suddenly feels dry. I lick my lips.

Reed’s gaze is so intimidating. I want to turn away from him but his grip on my hair has rendered me immobile. And it’s turning me on. I swallow and blink hard, buying myself precious seconds before answering him.

“I didn’t know you were in the military. I know it sounds stupid, but I had no idea. I thought you left me, that I wasn’t enough for you. I’ve accepted you don’t see me as the type of woman you would have sex with, but I’d like to be friends if that’s possible,” my words sound juvenile, but it’s the truth. “I’m so sorry I never listened to your messages or read your texts. Please believe me that if I would have known the truth I would have been right by your side. This is all my fault. I could of lost you forever.”

His eyes are closed and his lips are sealed in a tight line. Slowly he inhales, sucking all the oxygen between us. My head feels woozy and my heart wants to jump out of my throat. Any second I expect him to throw me from his house. I can’t take the still silence between us. Somehow I find the words to dismiss myself.

“I know I don’t deserve you. I’ll leave now. It’s enough to know you’re safe. I hope you find the perfect woman one day.” My voice is shaky, and I can’t say anymore without allowing the dam of tears I’ve been holding in burst down my cheeks.

Reeds eyes widen, their intensity paralyzing me in place. “Emerson. My sweet Emerson. I would never leave you, I will always come back.” His gruff voice is even sexier than before. His sincerity slays me, releasing the tears I’ve so desperately been trying to hold in. I’m an ugly crier. The pad of his thumb swipes over my damp cheeks, making me cry more.

Reeds hand on my lower back steers me through the house, and he motions for me to sit on the love seat. His broad hands gently stroke my face and make me feel like he’s looking at me for the first time. He clears his throat and touches his forehead to mine.

“I don’t deserve you Emerson. You’re too good for me. I’m a trained fighter, a warrior for our country with no guarantees to come home alive. I thought of you every second of every day on this mission. I promised myself I would return to you, regardless if you wanted me or not. My feelings for you were all new to me and I wasn’t man enough to admit it. And then when you told me you were a virgin, I was certain I wasn’t good enough for you.” I try to interrupt, but the calloused pad of his thumb touches my mouth before I can get a word out. “I’ve never had a serious relationship, not even a girlfriend. Years ago I made a promise to protect and serve, and that’s what I’ve been doing. But then you entered my life, blowing everything I’ve believed in right out of the water. The guys you met at The Animal House with Marigold are all part of my team. When we’re stateside Lucas runs a therapy dog training school with his family. All of us help out. It’s for a good cause.”

I can’t take being silent any longer. The haunted look on his face is breaking my heart. “ I didn’t think you were interested in me, that something was wrong with my body. But the way you would look at me and how your body responded were opposite of what you said. I was so confused, and I didn’t want to put myself in the position of being hurt again and trust doesn’t come easy to me. That’s why I didn’t listen to your messages sooner.” My common sense is still struggling with what my heart wants. I want to tell him how I really feel, declare my love for him but the fear of rejection is too strong. Mindlessly I reach for my hair, twirling it around my finger. The way he can go from SEAL to therapy dog handler only endears him more to me.

“The hope of having you one day kept me alive. You’re all I ever want and all I’ll ever need. You are the perfect woman for me. I knew from day one you were the girl for me. Can you forgive me for being such an asshole?”

I can forgive but I’m not sure if I can forget. His words hurt, and some wounds aren’t so quick to heal. And he doesn’t know about my birth, how I came to be. I don’t even have a family. He may find me repulsive when I tell him the truth. “There’s some things about me you don’t know, Reed.

“I don’t want to talk about it now. I’ve fought too fucking hard and too long to get back to you. If you think there’s something you could say that would change my feelings towards you you’re wrong. You’re mine now, wether you realize it yet or not, you belong to me.”

The cushions on the love seat sink under his weight as he leans into me, holding my head and showering my face with kisses in a way that makes me feel cherished. One by one the walls around my heart begin to fall, vulnerability sweeping through me with every press of his warm lips. Placing my glasses on the coffee table, he looks at me, his expression beaming with pride. Our foreheads touch, and our breath mingles as he says, “I’ve always known you were special. And I don’t care where you came from or how you got here, as long as you’re mine,” softly kissing the back of each wrist he continues, “Emerson, I want to be the man for you. I need to know I can wake up every morning with you be my side. I didn’t have sex with you because I believed my badness would ruin your goodness. But now I know I was wrong. When I was younger I thought I would spend my life in the Navy fighting enemies around the world. I didn’t think there would ever be anything powerful enough to pull me away from my SEAL team until I met you.”

My stomach flips and my heart is trying to beat its way out from my throat. I don’t even know what to say. His words are genuine, I can feel it in my soul. His eyes bore into me, and my chest aches. The shame of my burden has been lifted and for the first time in my life I feel like I can really live. Reed is still beside me, his hands caressing my shoulders, his long leg thrown over me in a protective manor. My future flashes before me and he’s part of it. I’m not positive what the warm fuzzy feeling is circulating through me and making me feel like I’m glowing, but I suspect this may be love. “I want to give us a try,” I murmur against his mouth, gliding my tongue along the seam of his lips. A soft sigh escapes him as he whispers, “I want to try us too.”

Slowly his eyes drift over me, memorizing every feature, every curve. My skin prickles under his gaze. “I love you Emerson, the entire package of you. I’m grateful that you are here and you’re mine, forever. I’m in for the long haul.”

His words take my breath away. A fire is raging inside me as he spreads soft kisses from my temple, down my face and to the most sensitive spot behind my ear. Pressed completely against him, I can feel the heat of his cock burning through my shirt and onto my stomach. “Let me make love to you, pretty girl. Let me show you how much I love you, how much I’ve missed you and how much I need you, now.” The rumble of his voice only feeds the fire burning in me. “Yes, please. I can’t wait any longer,” I reply, the heat between my thighs building, and I squeeze them tightly, desperately searching for some relief.

He leads me through the house, his large hand on my lower back guiding me through the dimly lit room. My heart is pounding, excitement and trepidation racing through me at the thought of what we are about to do. I always believed sex would make me feel dirty and unworthy. But right now it’s all I want. The way Reed looks at me makes my heart sing. I want to be with him and give him everything I possibly can.

T
he king sized bed is centered
in the bedroom, covered with white linens and oversized pillows. The setting sun casts a warm glow over the room.

"Emerson, turn around." The deep raspiness of his voice makes me wet. Eager to please, I turn and am instantly pierced by the burning desire in his eyes.

"Take off your shirt, and then your jeans." Anticipating what he plans to do with me I pull my t shirt over my head and toss it in a ball onto the floor. I’m braless, and my hard nipples are jutting out, desperate to feel his magic mouth work them over.

"No bra, sweetheart?” My chest heaves with every breath, and my body's response to him jolts me. His large frame slowly circles around me, his breath hissing with every inhale. My body is strung tight, waiting for him to pounce and take me as he wants. Desire beats through me and the warm dampness spreading in my panties only excites me more.

“I was in a rush to get here.” He smacks my ass and I let out a startled gasp.

"Do you have any idea how much I missed sucking on those beautiful breasts? Missed tweaking your candy hard nipples, stretching them between my teeth, feeling you buck under my touch.” Lazily his calloused fingers trace the curve of my breasts, barely touching me but sending ripples of need coursing through me. “I dreamt of you every night Emerson, thought of you with every sunrise. You have to believe I would never leave you. That whole mission I had you in my heart.” Eyelids heavy and pupils dilated, Reed looks at me like I’m the only woman in the world.

“Please fuck me, take me. I want to feel you in me, want to be one with you,” I beg and slither out of my jeans, moving my hips more than needed. My panties fall down around my ankles and I step out of them. "I'm a Navy SEAL, Emerson. I don't take orders from you." Reeds breathing is becoming faster and the vein in his neck is pulsing as if he were running a marathon. His sweatpants can’t contain his massive erection and he does nothing to hide it. His eyes sparkle with my words and a long exhale escapes him.

“
P
retty girl
, are you sure?”

I
nod my head
. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. I want you.”

“
G
ood
. Because you’re about to become my ten inch cock riding whore.”

The devilish grin I’ve missed so much reappears and my pussy aches for his touch. “I’ve missed that filthy mouth of yours. Now put it to work.”

“I would never do anything to hurt you, but I’m not a gentle fuck. The first time may be uncomfortable but I promise you’ll be begging for me cock every minute after.” He swallows hard and closes his eyes before looking at me again. Shivers run down me as his palm dips between my thighs. I feel my face heat and look away.

“
E
merson
, look at me. Don’t ever be embarrassed by your desire. You drive me crazy pretty girl.” My breath hitches as his finger glides down my seam and into me. I’m wet, and the only resistance he’s met with are my inner muscles as they clench around his long rough finger. My thighs squeeze together and a faint moan falls from his lips.

“
C
hrist
, Emerson. You’re killing me. I can’t wait to bury myself in you.” Our foreheads touch and a warmth I’ve never experienced fills me. I’m not sure what he is doing to me but I never want him to stop. His curled finger hooks me deep inside, stroking parts of me I never knew existed. My hips push forward, pressing the palm of his hand against my mound. A lopsided smile spreads across his face and the corners of his emerald eyes crinkle. “You’re a bad girl Ems. Don’t think I’m going to get you off that easy after ignoring my calls and texts.” His gravelly voice excites me, even though I feel awful about what happened. “I’m so sorry,” I pant, “I had no idea.”

He withdraws his finger from me and I immediately miss it. His large hands cup my face, making me feel petite and feminine. The faint scent of my arousal lingers in the air between us.