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Authors: Lincoln Cole

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BOOK: Second Chances
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Chapter 14
Richard

 

“We’re going to need to make a stop,” Jason said. “Just for
a quick minute at the gas station up here.”

“The tank is almost full,” Richard replied, glancing over
curiously.

“I need to pick up some donuts,” Jason said. 
“Something for people to snack on with their coffee.”

Richard chuckled. “How stereotypical of you. An AA meeting
having coffee and donuts? No way.”

“Everyone likes donuts. Even people who pretend they don’t
because they are watching their figure. They like them the most.”

“Why a gas station? Why not a donut shop?”

“I don’t have ‘donut shop’ money,” Jason joked. “And those
little chocolate ones are really good anyway. The ones that come in a huge
bag.”

“I hate those things. Let’s get some bear claws,” Richard
said, pulling his wallet out of his jacket pocket and removing a twenty. “My
treat.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Richard said. “I haven’t had a good bear claw in
years and I am kind of hungry.”

Jason shrugged. “Alright.”

They slipped past the gas station and pulled into a donut
shop a quarter mile up the road.  Richard had to push hard to get the car
door open and then followed his brother inside.

The line was short this late in the day, and a bored looking
teenager with freckles covering her face waited to serve them. “What do
you guys need?”

“How many should we get?” Richard asked Jason.

“Two dozen?” Jason offered, stepping up to the counter.

“Is that enough?”

“Plenty,” Jason said. 

Richard nodded. He turned to the girl helping them. “Sure,
two dozen then.”

“Which kind?” she asked.

Jason tapped his finger against the glass each time he picked
something: “Two of those. Let’s see. Five of those. Three of those. Eight of
those. Two of those, those, and those.”

The girl frantically grabbed pastries with a piece of
glorified wax paper and tossed them into a box as Jason called them out.

“Anything else?” she asked.

“No, that should be good,” Jason replied.

“Actually,” Richard said, a little annoyed, “throw two bear
claws in as well.”

The woman grabbed them up. “Oops,” Jason mumbled, pointing
at the case.  “I thought 
that
 one was a bear claw.”

“No, that’s similar, but made with apple. The real ones use
almonds.”

“Oh.”

Richard shrugged, handing the twenty to the woman and
collecting his change.  “Easy mistake to make.”

“You guys have a good day,” the girl said, turning away from
the counter and seeming to forget they ever existed.

Jason clutched the box and headed for the car.  

“All the different kinds of donuts do have names, you know?”
Richard teased as they climbed in.  “Like John Long, Buttermilk, chocolate
dipped, and French Cruller.”

Jason laughed. “I’m sure they do. I prefer the ‘point and
look starved’ method to buying them though.  Then I don’t feel as guilty
shoving them into my face.”

“Makes sense” Richard chuckled as they climbed into the
car.  Jason handed him the box and Richard let it rest on his lap. 

“Thanks,” Jason said. “It’ll be a nice treat having
something a little more expensive tonight. Means a lot.”

“Not a problem,” Richard said.

They started rolling again, heading back down the road
toward the clinic.  Richard had driven paste the clinic several times. One
of his clients worked on the same road.

He’d never actually stopped to go inside though. It was an
old storefront, if he remembered right, that was converted and remodeled when
his brother first began renting it. 

When they arrived the parking lot was empty. The storefronts
to the right and left were rundown and had been closed for years. The parking lot
itself was marred with potholes and the divider lines were faded to all but
nothing. 

The clinic itself, though, looked relatively well off. His
brother took pretty good care of it.  The front was old with dust covered
glass but the welcome sign was new. It said simply: ‘AA Clinic: All Welcome.’

Richard carried the donuts inside and Jason disappeared down
the back hallway, flipping various light switches as he went. They were the
annoying fluorescent lights that buzzed as they came to life.

The main area was one large common room, and the hallway led
to a set of offices in the back. An ancient fan started spinning overhead, lazy
and wobbly.  

He could see dust particles hanging in the air.  There
was no furniture in the room to speak of, but he did see a wall rack filled
with foldout chairs with a couple of foldable plastic tables leaned against
them.

Jason reappeared a second later. “Oh, sorry,” he said,
noticing that Richard was still carrying the donuts.  He grabbed one of
the tables off of the wall and locked the legs into position.   

Richard set the flimsy box down, still glancing around the
area.  A few posters lined the wall, the motivational sort with cute
kittens or Olympic athletes on them. Each had an overindulgent quote that would
make a motivational speaker weep for joy. 

“Looks nice,” he said, being polite.

“Thanks.”

“A little dusty,” Richard said.  “But we could always
open some windows.”

“Sure,” Jason said.  “I love this weather.  It’s
warm, but not uncomfortable. Wish it was like this year round.” 

Jason started grabbing chairs from the rack and unfolding
them while Richard opened the various windows.  They were old and heavy
and he had to strain to move them, but it was nice to get fresh air into the old
room.

“This used to be a store?”

“Dance studio,” Jason replied.  “That’s why it has
hardwood floors.  I always loved that about this place.”

“Guess no one liked dancing.”

Jason shrugged. “It’s the neighborhood. People don’t have
money for food out here, so they definitely don’t have money for dance
lessons.”

“Is that why you picked this area? To be close to your
clientele?”

Jason didn’t reply, just unfolded another chair. 

Richard reminded himself to be diplomatic. He slid open
another window, grinding the wood where it was warped with age. The place was
rundown. Cozy, but definitely old. 

By the time he was finished and heading back to the center
of the room Jason was half finished setting out his chairs. They were being
laid out in a giant ring, about twenty of them, facing inward.

Richard grabbed one off the rack to help. “Why a circle?” he
asked, setting it into place.

“You mean instead of using a raised stage or facing the
chairs the same direction?” Jason replied.

“Yeah.”

“Personal preference I guess. I think the circle implies
continuity and equality.  I don’t force people to talk when they come in,
but they can still be an equal part of the conversation even when they don’t
share something. It also feels less threatening for the person talking because
they don’t have to stand at a podium as the center of attention.”

“Makes a lot of sense,” Richard said. “It’s more welcoming
that way.”

They did similar things at the law office downtown to make
clients feel welcome and secure. In his line of work it all came down to
presentation.

“Plus I hate staring at people’s backs,” Jason
finished.  Richard chuckled.

“I know what you mean. I hate having other people stare at
mine.”

The front door opened. A short woman with frazzled hair, a
tiny nose, and big lips shuffled into the room. She wore loose fitting clothes
that didn’t match colors at all. She would have been attractive if it wasn’t
for the bags under her eyes.

“Hey Marlene,” Jason said, waving. “You’re just in time to
help us set up.”

She smiled and shuffled further in.  “Ooh, you got real
donuts this time,” she said, a thick Brooklyn accent decorating her speech.

“Courtesy of my brother. Marlene, this is Richard. He’s a
couple years older than me.  Richard, meet Marlene.”

She looked Richard over for a few seconds and then dismissed
him, turning back to Jason.  “Want me to get some coffee brewing?”

“If you don’t mind,” Jason replied.  She shuffled off
down the hallway.

“Marlene is a regular,” Jason explained to Richard once she
was gone.  He grabbed another chair and set it into position.

“She looks really…tired,” Richard said diplomatically.

“That would be from her kids. She hasn’t had a drink in
twelve years, but her kids are little hellions, I hear.”

“Twelve years, but she still comes to meetings?”

“Every meeting we host,” Jason said, grabbing the last chair
and completing the circle.  He leaned against it.  “I think I’ve
missed more meetings than she has.  She’s sort of my honorary assistant,
when you really get down to it. And I appreciate her help.”

“I don’t think I could do that,” Richard said.  “Once
I’d made it a couple months sober I’d probably stop showing up. Why the hell
would someone keep going to AA twelve years after they were sober?”

“Maybe she just likes it here,” Jason replied with a shrug. 
“She works in a gentleman’s establishment as a bartender, so she’s always
surrounded with alcohol.”

“Ah,” Richard said. It was the only thing he could think of to
say.  “I couldn’t imagine working around something I’m personally trying to
avoid.”

“Takes a lot of discipline,” Jason said.

“That it does.”

“But she’s a really sweet person. She wants to go back to
school and do something better, just doesn’t have money.”

“They all say that,” Richard said, then regretted it.

Jason shrugged. 

“Just about everyone does, I know. A lot mean it, they just
don’t know where to start.  Marlene is good for her kids though, and wants
them to have a better life than she did. Anything I can do to help
her
helps
them
,” Jason said.  “At least that’s how I look at it.”

“It’s a good philosophy,” Richard said. “But kids
usually mimic the environment and actions they are exposed to.”

“You sound like a psychologist,” Jason said. “And a pessimistic
one at that.”

“I spend my life studying people, too.”

“The kids might end up in the same position,” Jason admitted.
“But I don’t want to count them out without giving them a chance.  If I
try to help a thousand kids, but only succeed in helping one, then I consider it
a success.”

“Not a statistical success,” Richard said, “but I understand
what you are saying.”

Marlene called from down the hallway: “Can one of you gents
come help me with this?”

“I’ll help her,” Richard said.

“You sure?”

“Yep.”

Jason wiped his hands on his pants. “Then in that case I’m
going to grab a donut before people start showing up.”

 

                 
Chapter
15
     
Richard

 

Richard headed down the hallway.  There were a couple
of side offices and a storage room.  They all looked packed with useless
things that were rarely used.  Dust covered half of it, making it clear
both that they only interacted with half of their supplies and that they didn’t
have a cleaner to keep the dust at bay. 

He found Marlene in one of the side offices, pouring coffee
into a large dispenser.  She had another pot brewing.

“Sorry,” she said as he came in, “it’s just kind of heavy.”

“Why don’t you just fill it out there, then?” he asked,
gesturing back toward the lobby.

The look she gave him made it clear she thought that was a
stupid question.

“Because the coffee maker is in here,” she explained. 
It sounded like the voice she would use to explain things to children.

Richard decided it might be better not to argue.  “Does
it just go on the table out there?”

“Yep. Just set it next to the donuts.  I’ll bring the
cups out.”

“Okay,” Richard said.  Marlene grabbed a stack of
Styrofoam cups and disappeared.  He eyed the dispenser for a minute. “How
heavy can it be?”

It turned out that it could be quite heavy.  He
staggered back down the hallway with it, holding it like a giant baby. 

Fully filled it was incredibly awkward to carry, sloshing
liquid back and forth and throwing him off balance. He grunted and staggered
his way back to the lobby.

Halfway down he noticed a large sticker on the side recommending
it not be moved while there was liquid inside.

Nevertheless he got it to the table, panting and out of
breath.  The place was starting to fill up and about half of the chairs
had people in them now.  A few newcomers were milling about, munching on
donuts and conversing.

“Thanks,” Jason said, biting into a chocolate frosted monstrosity. 
People flocked to the coffee dispenser within seconds of it being set down,
filling their cups and pushing Richard aside.

“Things heavy.”

“Yeah,” Jason said.  “I usually ask Jon to bring it
out. He’s a body builder.”

“Ah,” Richard said. “I’m definitely not.”

“Oh, a bear claw!” he heard someone say behind him.  It
sounded like Marlene.

He turned quickly, realizing he’d forgotten to separate his
donuts out, and watched Marlene pull a bear claw out of the box with her
hand.  He hurried to the box and glanced inside. 

It was almost empty already, and the other bear claw was
missing.

He looked up just in time to watch her take a big bite out
of his donut.  “Oh god, I 
love 
these things,” she said,
mouth full and rolling her eyes up in exaggerated pleasure.  “Greatest
things in the world.”

Richard let out a long sigh.  “Yeah, they are pretty
good.”

She stopped chewing.  “Oh, sorry, did you want one too?”

He waved his hand in vague annoyance.  “No, it’s okay.
I got those specifically for me, but it’s alright. Enjoy it.”

“Oh,” she said. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said.  “Not a big deal.”

“Ooh, try that one right there! The one with apple in
it.  Practically the same thing!”

She walked away, leaving Richard to stew in his
annoyance.  He blew out a deep breath and ran his fingers through his
hair. 

“Not even 
close 
to the same thing,” he
mumbled to himself.  “Just one night. I only have to survive one night.”

A large woman came over to the box and glanced inside. 
She had ruddy cheeks and big jowls and was wearing a flamboyant pink
dress.  She eyed each donut, sizing them up like a predator, and then
selected one with cream filling, little chocolate flakes, and cream cheese
icing on top.  She took a dainty bite and then seemed to notice Richard
for the first time.

“Hi,” she said.  

“Hello,” Richard replied. 

He grabbed one of the Styrofoam cups and poured himself some
of the coffee.  The first sip made him wince. Too strong and a terrible
aftertaste that would probably linger for hours.  

“I’m Angelina.”

“Richard,” he said. 

They shook hands. Richard set his coffee on the table,
glancing around for a trashcan to toss it in.

“I haven’t seen you around here.  Are you new?”

“Something like that,” Richard replied.

“How long?”

“Excuse me?”

“How long have you been sober? I’m at seven months.”

He stared at her.  “Do I 
look 
like an
alcoholic?”

“No, you look like an asshole,” she said, flashing him a
quick smile.  “But we don’t judge here.”

She wandered away.  Richard decided to move away from
the table with food on it.  Too many people were congregating at it and he
didn’t feel like conversing with any of them. He retreated to the chairs
instead.

He took the one beside his brother and checked his
watch.  “How long ‘til this thing starts?”

“A few minutes,” Jason said.  “Once people finish
eating.”

“Good,” Richard replied.

“How were your bear claws?”

Richard only sighed in response.

The chairs filled up as the sounds of slurping and chewing
gradually faded away.  They were replaced by the sound of conversing as
people separated into small groups with their neighbors. 

Nineteen people showed up to the meeting in total, Richard
counted.  Most wore cheap clothes, faded with wear, and a goodly portion
of them looked disheveled or exhausted.

Gradually the room quieted down and everyone turned their
attention to Jason.  He stood up from his chair and cleared his throat:

“Anyone want to start us off?” he asked.

Richard glanced around. Most of the congregation looked
away. Many seemed nervous, carefully guarding their secrets.

Marlene, on the other hand, raised her hand.  It shot up
into the air with barely contained excitement. She grinned and waved it around.
Jason pretended he didn’t see her.

“Kyle? Want to get us going tonight? No? How about you,
Eddie?  You could tell us about that new job you got, maybe.”

Both young men looked away.  From the look on Eddie’s face,
he probably didn’t have that new job anymore.

Marlene started making little sounds for attention now,
little ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ noises.  She was practically jumping out of her chair.
Jason smiled slightly but kept pretending like he didn’t see her.  

“Ben? You’ve been here for a few weeks now, but you haven’t
shared anything yet. Maybe you could start off with something simple.”

Ben was a tall young man, maybe in his late twenties, and
rail thin. He was wearing baggy clothes that were ripped in several spots and a
dark brown jacket with stains on the left side.

He probably hadn’t showered in days, maybe weeks, and it had
been even longer since those clothes were cleaned.  Richard wasn’t sure,
but he thought he could smell Ben from across the room.

 “Where you are from?” Jason continued prodding.  “Maybe
you could tell us something about your family or friends?  You don’t need
to tell us anything major, just something small.”

Ben was leaning forward in his chair, hands clasped between
his knees and head bowed. The entire group was silent, looking at him. He
glanced up when Jason spoke, and then looked down again.

“Is that a no?”

Ben didn’t respond. He glanced around the room at all the
people staring at him, stood up, and headed for the exit. 

Everyone watched as he pushed the door open and disappeared
into the night. Jason let out a little sigh, shaking his head. 

“Four weeks of not missing a night, but the kid hasn’t said
a word.”

“I can,” Angelina—the donut woman, Richard remembered—said,
raising her hand.  Her pink dress looked crumpled up in the chair and her pale
legs were shiny in this light. “I can go first and say something. I’ll start us
off for the night, if you like.”

Jason smiled at her.  “Sure Angelina.  Thanks.”

He sat back down and she stood up. It was a laborious
process, the chair wobbling a little bit under her weight, but she
managed. 

The pink dress stood out, matching her cheeks. She smiled
and brushed absently at some strands of hair on her cheek. 

“Hi everyone. I’m Angelina, and I’m an alcoholic.”

“Hi Angelina,” the room echoed back.  

“But I guess you all already knew that.  I’ve been
coming here for six months now, and I’m still sober so it must be helping,” she
said. She paused, then shook her head. “No, I
know
it’s helping. 
I’m glad you are all here. 

“I’m thankful, because my life has gotten better since I
started this clinic. This weekend I went to my son’s soccer game. It’s his
first game and he was so excited.  He has been waiting for this season to
start, since it’ll be his first time playing.  He looked so cute in his
little uniform running up and down the field.  It was like…”

She trailed off, her voice breaking.  She cleared her
throat and continued:

“It was like watching a little angel play soccer.  I also
got to see my daughter, Kaitlyn. She is such a little sweetheart and Greg had her
dressed up in braided pigtails like a little princess.  She was so
adorable when she looked up at me and…and it just broke my heart to think of
the last three years…”

She trailed off, a tear streaming down her cheek.

“…and she told me about…”

She stopped, wringing her hands in front of her, choked
up.  A few moments passed in silence, everyone watching in collective
silence.  She cleared her throat and smiled sadly at the group.

“Sorry, I didn’t think it would be this hard. I just wake up
every morning and thank God that I started coming here. I’m thankful that you
all accepted me and treated me like I was family. I don’t think I could have
done this alone. 

“And Greg has really come around, now that I’m getting
better. We haven’t reached the court date yet, but Greg wants to try and work
out a visitation system without needing to see a judge. I’m seeing them once
every few weeks for now, but he’s hoping we can make it more often soon. 
He said that all children need their mothers and he isn’t going to try and keep
me away anymore.

“I’ve been able to see my children again, and they don’t
seem to remember just how bad…I just…thank you, everyone.  Thank you.”

She sat back down quickly, covering her face with her
hands.  Jason stood up and started clapping his hands. Everyone else
followed suit. 

“Thank you for sharing Angelina. We knew Greg would come
around, so we really appreciate you telling us about all of this.  We are
all here to talk about our failures and be supportive of each other, but it’s
more than that. We want to hear about the successes too. You are family,
Angelina, and don’t you ever forget it.”

She nodded, smiling through her tears.  

“Okay, who’s next?” Jason asked.

Marlene’s hand shot up again. Everyone else looked
away.  Jason sighed in exasperation. 

“Okay, Marlene. The floor is yours.”

She stood up, grinning like a loon, and then cleared her
throat.  Richard saw a few looks of exasperation from the other members.

“Hi everyone,” Marlene said.  “I’m Marlene, and I am an
alkee-holic.”

A few people mumbled a response back. One older man just
yawned.  

“As most of you know, I lost a lot of things in my life due
to alcohol. It was hard trying to get by when I was drinking regularly and it
took a lot for me to overcome it.  I mean I used to be a banker, but
because of alcohol I just lost interest.”

Richard cocked his head sideways. He glanced at the people
in their seats. A few looked annoyed, some disinterested, and a couple were
smiling in bemusement.

“Heck, you could go all the way back to my childhood: I used
to know how to throw a boomerang,” Marlene continued.  “But then because
of alcohol I forgot. But, now that I quit drinking, it came back to me!”

She grinned and chuckled.  Richard furrowed his brow,
almost expecting to hear a rim shot.

“Recently I learned sign language, though, and it’s been
pretty handy.”

Richard shook his head and leaned toward Jason. “You have
got to be kidding me—”

“But alcohol did some good things for me, too,” Marlene
continued, feigning sincerity.  “I mean I used to have a fear of hurdles,
but because of alcohol, I got over it.”

“Really?” he whispered to his brother. “Puns?”

Jason sighed and nodded. He whispered back:  “Almost every
week. She says it helps with her therapy.”

“Hey, did you any of you hear about the accident that
happened in the parking garage a few nights ago?” Marlene continued. 
“Man, it was wrong on so many levels.”

“And you let her?”

Jason shrugged.  “I’m not going to tell anyone they
can’t talk,” he said.  “But there’s only so much I can take.”

Marlene was on a roll:

“I ate some food coloring yesterday.  I went to the
doctor and he said I was okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.”

Richard shook his head. One person chuckled. Probably out of
pity.

“Marlene…” Jason said, twirling his finger.  She
shrugged and nodded, clapping her hands together.

“Okay, okay, I’m done.  But seriously everyone,” Marlene
said.  “I love you guys. You make my life better, and I want to just echo everything
Jason and Angelina said earlier. You are my family and I’m always here if any
of you need anything. Don’t ever change.”

Everyone clapped as she sat down, and then a man named Peter
stood up. He spoke about his family, giving everyone an update about the things
happening in his life. 

After a few minutes Richard tuned him out, disinterested in
the man’s life story. He was sharing details as intimate as where he had dinner
two nights ago, what was on the menu, the movie he went to go see afterward,
and how it ended.  Richard assumed after half an hour Peter would be
telling them about the sort of underwear he had selected for this meeting.

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