Second Opinion (24 page)

“Doubt it,” Avery said. Her tone was snotty, and I smirked in her direction. She rolled her eyes.

“Anybody want to dance?” she asked her friends.

“I’m in,” I announced, grabbing her hand and pulling her up with me before Reese and Jill had a chance to join us.

“What are you doing?” she yelled at me over the music.

“What does it look like?”

“It looks like a desperate and misguided attempt to win me back.”

We arrived at the dance floor, and I grabbed her around the waist. “Desperate, yes. Misguided? I don’t think so.” I pulled her closer.

“Get over yourself.” We were close enough that I could feel her breath against my lips.

“It’s not me I’m stuck on, Avery.” I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to slam my mouth against hers and show her through my actions how I felt about her.

But we were in public, and no one was supposed to know about us.

On the other hand, we were in public, and no one knew about us. That meant she couldn’t make too big of a scene.

“It’s you. Maybe somehow it’s always been you and I was just too blind to see it. I need to tell you about Rachelle. I need you to know what’s been going on with me, why I ran away last night. I need to tell you what I realized in the last twenty-four hours. And if you listen to me, if you hear me out and give me the chance to explain, I think we’ve got a shot. I think we could have everything, Avery.” Ironically, we were dancing to Rihanna’s “We Found Love.”

I saw her eyes start to soften.

But just because she was softening didn’t mean she wasn’t still terrified of what could happen.

“And I need you to tell me why you’re so goddamn scared to be with me.”

I saw a bolt of anger pass through those gorgeous eyes. “I’m not scared to be with you, Grant.”

“Bullshit.”

“You think you know everything there is to know about me. You don’t. I’m over it. I don’t want to be with you.”

God, I wanted to kiss her.

“Don’t fucking lie to me. Don’t stand there and pretend like you don’t want me. I know you. I know what we’re like together. I know how I feel about you. And more than that, I know how you make me feel.”

“So the sex is good. I’ve had plenty of good sex. We can’t base our entire relationship on good sex. It’s not enough.”

“That’s not what it’s based on. Not for me.”

“Then what’s it based on?”

“Can we go somewhere to talk?” I really didn’t want to confess I was in love with her in the middle of a dance floor in a bar.

She sighed. “I’m here with my friends.”

I leaned in close to her ear. “So ditch them,” I pleaded. “This is us, Ave.”

“Just go.” She struggled a bit to get out of my grasp, but I didn’t let her.

“Not without you.”

“If I promise we will talk tomorrow, will you leave me alone tonight?”

I thought about it for a minute. If I left her alone that night, she could easily go home with any one of the twenty single guys trolling the bar. And apparently she’d been known to do just that.

If I left her alone that night, she could easily back out on her promise to talk to me the next day.

It’s weird how I spent so much time avoiding relationships only to finally find someone who was so terrified to commit.

But in the month we’d been together, I knew with everything inside of me it would be worth it. I just wanted us to work things out. I wanted her. I wanted us. 

It had nothing to do with the awesome sex, really. That was just an added bonus.

It had so much more to do with the way she filled a void in my life. When she was sitting on my couch, the whole room lit up in a new way. When we were at dinner, we shared conversations like those that best friends shared.

The tables had been turned. I finally admitted to myself I wanted more with her. Now I was the one who wanted more than a few great nights.

And letting her sit in a bar with her friends didn’t seem like the best way to fight for what I wanted.

“No way in hell,” I finally answered her question.

“Fine. Let’s just go.” She was irritated, but at least I’d gotten her to agree to leave with me. Once she heard me out, I was sure I’d win her back.

“Finish your drink. Make up an excuse for your friends. Take your time. I’ll wait for you in the parking lot.”

“You’re a bossy asshole sometimes.”

I grinned, because she was absolutely right.

I walked her back to her table and said goodbye to Reese and Jill, and then I headed out to the parking lot to wait in my car for the woman I loved.

Thirty minutes later, I realized it was stupid to tell her to take her time.

I checked my cell phone for about the millionth time. Still no text.

She was making me wait on purpose.

I’d made her wait the night before, and that’s what she was so mad about. Women were so goddamn difficult sometimes.

It was a damn good thing she’d be worth it.

She threw open the door and got in, folding her arms across her chest. She stared straight ahead.

“Something wrong, Peaches?” I asked, starting the car, suppressing a smile at her immaturity. It was actually kind of sexy how irritated she was with me.

She didn’t respond; she just continued to stare straight ahead.

To be fair, I did say I wanted to talk to her. I never said she had to respond.

She sighed, and I turned off the radio.

“I drove in circles last night. For hours. I didn’t respond to your text because I was afraid to check it. I was afraid of a lot of things, actually. But I’m not afraid anymore.”

A stoplight allowed me to glance over at her. I trailed my fingertips up her thigh. She still sat motionless.

“And I want to tell you everything so we can be together. I want you to be in this with me.”

She finally spoke, and her voice was hard. “What makes you so sure I’m afraid of anything?”

“Because we’re the same. I’ve been the guy who turned down the girl who wanted more. I know exactly where you are. And it took being with you to make me see that when something is right, it’s worth fighting for. It’s worth taking the risk and being scared shitless but doing it anyway.”

“How can you be so sure?” she whispered.

“I’ve never felt like I do when I’m with you. It’s as simple as that.”

“You like the sex, Grant. It’ll wear off.”

“That’s not true. Just like you, I’ve had plenty of good sex. There’s something different with you. Some chemical element I’ve never experienced.”

She made a grunting sound. “Please don’t throw the ‘L’ word at me.”

I chuckled at how she seemed to know exactly where I was going. But if it was a hard limit for her, I’d avoid it.

For now.

Shit, the only other woman I’d said it to had killed a piece of me. Twice.

Even though I felt it with Avery and I knew it was right with her, there was still a part of me that was terrified.

I wasn’t terrified of getting into a relationship with her, though.

I was terrified she wouldn’t give us a chance.

We sat in silence; I was lost in thought, and she was caught up in her anger. I pulled in front of her apartment.

“You took me home?”

“I wanted you to have home court advantage. You want me out? Say the word.”

“I want you out.”

“After I tell my story.”

She huffed out a sigh and rolled her eyes, and then she moved to open the car door. I stopped her with my hand on her arm. She turned and looked not at me, but at my hand.

I wanted her to look me in the eyes, to hear what I had to say, because I had a feeling I knew what she needed to hear.

“Avery, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. It’s hard for me to admit when I’m wrong, but I was wrong. I should have called you. I should have texted so you weren’t worried. I understand that now, and I apologize.”

Her eyes finally met mine. I thought I saw a shred of understanding in them, but she didn’t reply. She got out of the car and shut the door. At least she didn’t slam it. That was an improvement.

I followed behind her, wondering when I had become this weak and pathetic man who chased after a woman.

She tossed her purse on her kitchen counter and set her keys next to it. I watched her carefully. She sighed, and then she finally looked up at me. She looked tired, and despite my efforts at an apology and owning my mistake, she still looked angry.

I stood next to her, feeling oddly somewhat unsure of myself.

“So what’s the big confession, Grant?”

“Can you stop treating me like we’re enemies?”

She pressed her lips together. “We aren’t enemies. Look, I know I’m being hard on you, and I don’t mean to take my shit out on you.”

“What shit?”

“This whole relationship,” she said, waving her hand in the air. “This has moved at lightning speed. I’m not saying I don’t want
you
. I’m saying I’m just not prepared to be in so deep so fast.”

“But you
did
say you didn’t want me.”

“I didn’t mean it. I was frustrated with you and when I get mad, I get mean.”

“Understood.”

“You have no idea how hard this is for me. It seemed like everything was going well, and then you took off. I know I’m making such a big deal out of something so stupid, but when you ran out, it reminded me of my mom. I can’t be like my mom.”

I was about to reply when I paused and changed tracks. “Wait a minute. What?”

“Nothing.”

I moved in a little closer to her. She flinched and stepped back.

It hurt me to see her step back from me. I wanted to comfort her, to hold her, to listen to her while she confessed some secrets of her past I didn’t know.

I’d tracked her down so I could confess the secrets of my past, yet I was about to hear more about hers.

It’s funny how life works sometimes.

“Talk to me, Ave,” I whispered. I wanted to know everything, and for a while, I thought I did. But clearly there was more.

She sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. She opened them again and focused on me. “My dad left my mom when I was young. She got custody, and I only saw him twice a month.”

She paused for a moment, and then she interrupted her own story. “Just to clarify, this isn’t about my dad. All through my childhood, my mom dated these men who treated her like shit. I got to watch the revolving door. I got to watch man after man walk out on her. And I don’t want that life. I want to set the rules. I refuse to be walked over, and when you walked out on me last night, I saw a flash of my mother. I can’t live my life like that, Grant. I refuse to.”

“God, Avery. Don’t you know you’ll never have to live a life like that with me?”

“But I did live that. I lived it last night.”

“I didn’t know.”

“That’s a shitty excuse, don’t you think? You shouldn’t have to know my history to know it’s wrong to just walk out the door without an explanation.”

We still stood facing each other. Her arms were folded across her chest, a nonverbal cue that she was blocking herself off from me.

I stood with my hands in my pockets. I’m not sure what nonverbal cue I was sending, but I wanted her to see my earnestness and my sincerity. “You’re right. I’ve already admitted that. I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

“Because you want to stand here and convince me to be with someone who treated me last night just like all of those men treated my mother.”

“I’m not those guys. I made a mistake. This isn’t some pattern.”

“I guess we’ll never know,” she said.

She moved to walk past me, and I grabbed her by the elbow. “Don’t say shit like that.”

She looked at her elbow, and then she looked at me pointedly. She was purposely being a bitch. She was trying to turn me away from her, and if she was anyone else, she might have succeeded.

But this was Avery. This was someone I cared about as a person, not just as a fuck buddy. She was one of my sister’s best friends, and that meant something to me. Even if things eventually ended between us, it wouldn’t be because I did something to hurt her.

I didn’t let go of her elbow, and instead, I pulled on it so she stumbled into my arms. I couldn’t help it. If she was going to be difficult, I was going to show her part of what made us work together so well.

I wrapped my arms around her, and she fought back. Her arms beat against my chest as she struggled to get out of my hold. Of course I would have let her go if I thought it was what she really wanted, but it wasn’t. I held onto her until she finally relaxed, giving into the pull we both felt.

She took a long, deep breath, and I felt her shudder under my hold. And then I felt her shoulders shaking as the tears came.

I just held onto her, stroking her back in a pattern to do whatever I could to soothe her. Clearly she was sailing in uncharted waters, but I would be there to help steer the boat.