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Authors: Andy Frankham-Allen

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BOOK: Seeker
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They were playing Canasta, and Will was so far winning. It was one of those games that could change at a moment's notice, so Jake was just waiting for the right cards. It'd happen sooner or later.

“I think it is, yeah,” Jake said, finally admitting it to someone other than himself. He still played up his usual image with the lads at work, making out that Amy was just another passing fancy and he'd soon be bored with her, but that was so far from the truth. “I know, not like me. But something is clicking here.”

Will placed his own cards on the floor and offered a smile. “I'm glad for you. Guess there is always someone out there.” He grinned. “Still, you honestly think Amy is settling down material?”

“Hmm, don't know about that one,” Jake said, letting out a whistle of air. “Been less than a week, really, and that's a big deal. But, look at it this way, Will, we're not getting any younger. Little over five years and we're forty. Settling down has to come soon, yeah?”

“Well, forty ain't that old these days. Not like when we were kids.”

“No, this is true. But it's still forty. How long before we decide it's time to settle down? Fifty? Sixty?”

Willem placed a hand on Jake's knee. “Maybe we're going to end up in a retirement home together?”

Jake batted Will's hand away. He blinked, certain that for the briefest of seconds he saw hurt in Will's eyes then. “You wish! No, but seriously, guy, don't you ever think about this shit? Most of the people we knew at school are either married or have kids.”

“A very few of them are even doing both, I hear.”

Jake laughed. “Yeah, who'd have seen that coming in South West London? The most prolific area of single parents in the UK.”

“You know.”

Despite the humour there was a definite undercurrent to their words. Jake could feel it in himself, and could clearly see it in Will's eyes. Things had changed in the last week, for both of them, and it was only now, with the two of them talking like this, that Jake realised just how much. He knew what had changed in him; the connection between him and Amy was getting deeper with each day, and tonight he had actually made love to her. Usually it was just sex, and god how cheesy he felt even thinking this, but with her it really was about love. Less than a week in and he could feel himself totally falling for the woman. What was changing in Willem he had no idea, but something was different.

Earlier he'd been knocking for a good ten minutes before he decided to come around to the kitchen door. After a few attempts at banging on the wooden frame he'd got Will's attention, but even then his mate seemed very distracted. Something was most definitely going on in Will's life that Jake wasn't privy to, but before the night was over Jake was intent on discovering what.

“We'll see how things go, but I've got a good feeling about this,” he said, continuing on about him and Amy. For now. He'd await his opportunity, then start digging.

“Well, if there are ever wedding bells, I bagsy best man.”

“Like that was ever in doubt. What about you, you feel like it's time to find a mister?”

Any answer that Will was going to give was put on hold by a sudden thump from upstairs. They both looked up, thinking the same thing. Curtis had fallen out of bed.

“I'll sort him out,” Jake said, “you go open a couple more cans.”

He noticed that look on Will's face as he walked out of the lounge. A look of relief. Yup, Jake thought, some digging was needed.

* * *

They were back in the kitchen now. It was a nice humid night, not too warm and not too cold, and so the back door was open, Jake propping up the frame while he grabbed a fag. Willem was leaning against the side, the kettle boiling behind him. He watched Jake, and smiled to himself. There was a new glow about his friend that he liked; relationship suited Jake, gave him a bearing that was fresh and true. If anyone had told him Jake would finally meet someone he could actually fall in love with, Willem would never have believed them, and yet here he was. The warmth in his voice when he talked of Amy was unexpected, but it really worked, and left no doubt in Willem's mind that Jake was on to a good thing.

Going away for a weekend didn't seem so bad now, with the knowledge that Jake at least had found the thing Willem was looking for. By the time he returned on Sunday Willem hoped that he, too, would be feeling the same kind of glow that Jake currently enjoyed. By which time there was no way Jake could bitch him out about his internet romance.

He swallowed hard. Now was as good a time as any.

“Do you remember Jacen Bishop?” he asked, in lieu of any kind of build-up.

Jake didn't look back as he answered. “Yeah, whatever happened to him?”

“Ended up with some high octane bloke from what I've heard. Out living the life of the adrenalin junkie in Australia.”

“Good for him. I liked him,” Jake said, glancing in, watching Willem carefully.

“So did I.”

“I remember, still don't get why you let him go.” Jake blew smoke out into the back yard, then turned back to Willem. “Big mistake, really, eh? You guys were happy.”

“We were, but he wanted a different kind of life to what I could offer.” Willem shrugged. “But recently I've been wondering what would have happened if we'd stayed together, where would we be now?”

“You probably would have imploded by now. As you say, the life he wanted wasn't the same as you. He wanted to be out there, enjoying life; you've always been about securing your future. Fun quotient at a low.”

“You're right, I should have followed him, found the fun. Run the risk a little.”

Jake narrowed his eyes and let out a hmm. He stubbed the cigarette out on the yard wall and tossed it into the tin provided for the butts, then re-entered the kitchen. “Come on, Will, we've known each other too long. Where's this going? You've found someone, right?”

“What? No. I…yes, yes, I have.” Feeling the colour rush to his cheeks Willem turned away to make the coffee, readying himself for the expected chewing out.

“About time. Tell me all.”

Feeling dumb, Willem took a deep breath and handed a mug to Jake. They both took a stool each and sat down. Jake just watched, waiting expectantly. Willem was dreading it, although he still didn't know why.

“Well, his name's Charlie, and we've been in contact for about a month now. At first it was just small talk, silly nonsense, but just over a week ago things changed. Became more serious.”

Jake nodded. “That's a good thing, I'm all for things becoming unexpectedly serious. Becoming something of an expert there. So, in contact? Met him through work?”

Willem chewed his bottom lip. “Not exactly. Online.”

“Oh.”

Willem studied Jake's face, trying to gauge how he was really feeling about this. It was hard to say. Jake had his thinking face on, and as was often the case it was like trying to play poker with Jake. Unreadable. “Oh?”

“Well, okay, not the way I'd expect you to meet someone, but I guess it's the twenty-first century here, so okay. Have you met him yet?”

“No.”

“Oh. Please tell me you've seen more than a picture? Cause, you know, pictures often lie. For all you know it could be some dirty old bastard sending a young picture, or it could be some behemoth hiding behind a pic that isn't even him. The net's a bit on the impersonal side, loads of shit comes of it.”

“I know that, Jake, I'm not stupid.” Willem stood up, coming off as way more defensive than he intended. “I've spoken to him on the phone, over webcam, the whole nine yards. He's who he says he is.”

Jake nodded again, his thinking face returning. “You planning to meet him?”

“This weekend, as it happens. I'm going to stay at his place for a couple of…”

“Whoa there, Will, man! You're meeting him at his? Wouldn't some neutral,
public
, place be better? Okay, so you've webcammed with him, whoopy shit, that doesn't mean you know him.”

Willem shook his head and walked over to the sink. “I knew you'd react like this. Do you think I'm dumb or something? I'm almost thirty-five, mate, I know my own mind and I know how to judge people. If this wasn't real do you honestly think I'd be pursuing it?”

“Normally I'd say no. But…” Jake let out a sigh of frustration. “I need a fag.” He got back up and stepped out into the yard. Willem followed him. When he stepped out he received a glare from Jake, but it wasn't anger, it was concern. “Are you sure about this?”

“Sure? As much as I can be, yes. Remember what you said about Jacen? About me taking some risks? Well this is it, Jake. I need to do this. Every day my life is the same, I work, I juggle the money, I make a profit, I end up bailing my family out of their shit. I'm constantly dumped upon by everyone.” Willem let out a breath of air, and looked up at the night sky. “I'm buckling under it all.”

“No kidding.” Jake placed a hand on Willem's shoulder and the two men looked each other in the eye. “I love you, Will, you know that. We're brothers, guy, and of course I want you to be happy. Not sure I understand this internet romance thing, but if you need to do this, then cool. You do it.” Jake smiled, and the two of them drew closer. “Maybe one day the four of us can go for a drink together.”

Willem grinned. “That would be cool.”

The two of them hugged abruptly. Willem closed his eyes, feeling a stirring in his loins he'd not felt in a good twenty-odd years.

He pulled himself away from Jake. “Sorry, man, need a piss,” he said, and dived into the house. He didn't know if Jake believed him or not; the reason for his sudden stiffness had nothing to do with a full bladder, but there was no way in hell he was taking that path again.

Jake was happy, happier than Willem had seen him in a long while, and he refused to ruin that. But, as he entered the bathroom, Willem was forced to wonder just why he'd felt a similar hardness from Jake when they had hugged.

* * *

Willem struggled to clip Curtis into the booster seat, a task not made easy by Curtis's constant fidgeting. The kid had been in a bad mood all morning, ever since Jake had awoken him. Willem suspected it had something to do with Jimmy coming back soon; Curtis often got antsy whenever he knew his dad was due back. After his weekend away, Willem decided, he was going to look into it.

He felt quite fresh this morning, himself. Jake had left earlier, heading to work, after an all-nighter than had ended about three in the morning. Some sleep was had, but looking at Jake it seemed not to be enough for him. Willem, however, felt great. No doubt due to their discussion last night. Knowing Jake had his back created a safe feeling in Willem, and he had woken up deciding that a lot was going to change when he returned on Sunday.

No more sitting about on the side-lines and letting the shit go down in his family. Time to take a stand and be counted.

Between now and then he resigned to not let anything get him down or pile on him.

Then, naturally, his car refused to start.

05.

“Na-na-na, come on!”

Jake stirred at the opening thumping beats of Rihanna's
S&M
. He reached over Amy's sleeping form, careful not to disturb her, and espied the clock on the side. It was nine o'clock, which wasn't too bad, he guessed, at least he had a little bit of a lay-in. He just hoped it wasn't Mikey sending him a message saying he was wanted in work after all; this day off was well deserved, and Amy and he had plans for it.

He picked up the phone and opened the message.

Seconds later he was lying on his back, looking at the ceiling of his bedroom. He had forgotten that today was the day, and now that the text reminded him, the worries surfaced.

At first, he wasn't sure if it was right to talk to anyone about it, and most of Wednesday he spent quietly working on the site, his usual chatty self left behind at Will's. But when he'd seen Amy that night everything had come out, and Amy proved to be a good sounding board. She took everything in and didn't offer any advice, until the next day when she told him what she thought of the situation. Her viewpoint had allayed his fears for a time, but now that it was Friday and the moment was almost upon him…

“Who was it?” asked a slurred voice beside him.

Jake smiled, and rolled onto his side so he could look down at Amy's morning face. She opened her eyes slowly, and smiled up at him, and once again he realised how lucky he was. How many women looked just as good in the morning as they did during the sweat-filled love making session last thing at night?

“Will. He's asked me to pop over before he heads off, wants to talk about something.”

Amy lifted herself up onto her elbow. “Last minute change of mind?”

“Not Will. I wish. He's not the kind of guy to change his mind once he's decided on a course of action. Well, unless it involves his sister.”

Amy nodded slowly and sat up, reaching for the little cabinet on her side of the bed, and the glass of water sitting atop it. She always slept with a glass of water waiting for her, and first thing she took a sip. She said it helped her start her day, rehydrate her sleeping body before she made it to the kitchen and broke her night long fast. She took the glass to her lips and tilted it back, in the process knocking the duvet down, revealing her pert little breasts. She noticed, but didn't bother covering them again, and Jake was glad. It was a great sight to wake up to.

“You going over?” she asked, and Jake nodded slowly. Amy leaned over and kissed him on the forehead, unintentionally burying his face in her breasts. He let out a hmm of satisfaction. She giggled the little school girl giggle he found such a turn on. “Still worried?”

He removed his face, and looked into her blue eyes; they carried their usual playful edge, a hint of naughtiness behind them. Already Jake could tell it was going to be a good morning.

“Of course,” he said, getting his mind back on track, no easy task with her sitting beside him like this. “My best mate is off to rendezvous with some random bloke he's only known via the 'net. I think that's cause for concern.”

“I suppose. But we were strangers when we first met, too. Is Will's situation so different?”

Jake had thought much about this, and he totally got what Amy was saying, and partly he agreed with her. But nonetheless…

“But I could see you, and if it didn't work out I was still in my hometown, surrounded by those who love me. Will's going out to a town he doesn't know; what if it turns out that Charlie is some nutter?”

“Extreme case scenario, wouldn't you say, Jacob?”

Jake couldn't help but smile, there was something about the way Amy used his full name that made him feel relaxed. “I'm probably worrying about nothing.”

“Yes,” Amy agreed, guiding her free hand down his chest. Jake let out a shiver and Amy raised an eyebrow as her cold hand cupped his balls. “Time for some sugar before you go and express your concerns to Will?”

Jake oohed and aahed, glancing at the clock, feeling a stiffening down below, brought on by the tip of her thumb gently stroking the base of the shaft. “You know what; I think I can be tempted.”

* * *

Message received, Willem flipped his phone closed and placed it on the kitchen counter. Jake was about ten minutes away. Willem walked into the lounge, mug in one hand, the morning newspaper in the other.

Curtis came running into his knees as he entered the lounge, almost causing him to spill his hot coffee. “Hey,” he said, steadying Curtis with his hand while simultaneously trying not to drop the newspaper, “steady on there, buddy, you'll do yourself a mischief.”

Curtis looked up at him, his brown eyes smiling out of his bronze face. Willem shook his head, as usual unable to resist his nephew. “Tick tock,” Curtis said.

“Yeah, okay, let me just put this down or it'll burn you.” Obligingly Curtis stepped aside and allowed his uncle into the room. He placed the mug on the mantelpiece and flopped the paper onto his chair, then turned to Curtis. “Come on, then.”

He bent down and grabbed the boy by the ankles, then quickly flipped him upside down, swaying him gently from side to side. As he swayed, Curtis cried out “tick tock” at the top of his little lungs, laughing with every ounce of his being. Willem couldn't help but laugh at this, and wondered if he would have been as happy had some giant decided to do the same to him. Probably not, but then, he supposed, a soon-to-be thirty-five-year-old man was not as supple as a two-and-a-half-year-old boy. He gently swung Curtis over to the couch and let him go; the boy landed softly on the cushions, his arms and legs flailing, giggling uncontrollably.

“Right, little mista,” Willem said, between his own laughter, “go and watch Upsy Daisy, or no yums for you.”

Curtis scrambled onto the rug in the middle of the room and planted himself in front of the TV. Once again Willem was amazed at how sharp Curtis's mind was; was it normal for a kid his age to understand so well? Willem wasn't so sure, but he was certain that kids weren't as intelligent back in his day. He grimaced as he left the room for the kitchen.
Back in his day
. He sounded like an old man.

Getting away for a weekend was so needed.

He stopped at the open backdoor, feeling the cold air brushing against his extremities, and shuddered. It was almost ten and he was still walking about in his robe, having spent most of the morning getting his stuff together for his weekend away. That and keeping Curtis amused. For him to reach this time of the morning and not even have a shower was unheard of, even on his off days he tended to be dressed by nine, and it was now
forty minutes
after the nine o'clock! Still, he allowed himself the luxury of taking things easy that morning on account of his not going to be home again for two days.

He prepared jam sandwiches for Curtis, a big grin on his face. Charlie had already called twice since he woke up, first while he was on the way to work to start his early shift, and then grabbing a sneaky five minutes after the breakfast rush, and Willem was pleased to hear his new lover sounding as excited as he did himself. He took the now soldiered sandwiches in to Curtis and placed them before the kid, who took one of the soldiers and stuffed it into his mouth, his eyes never leaving the TV upon which Upsy Daisy was running through the Night Garden looking for her bed, which had decided to roll away again. Willem knew this episode; soon she'd bump into Iggle Piggle and they'd both go for a ride on the Ninky Nonk.

Smiling, Willem straightened himself up and headed for the front door. When he opened it he found Jake there, hand raised as if about to knock.

Jake did a double take, and frowned. “What is this,
Sixth Sense
?”

“Yeah,” Willem said, and winked. “I see gay people.”

“Uh huh.” Jake smacked Willem upside the head and entered the hallway. “Your eyes clearly need testing, then, guy,” he said, and carried on into the lounge. “Hey, champ!”

Willem closed the door with a smirk, after a quick wave to some random passer-by who happened to look up in time to see this rather good-looking bloke standing in the doorway with nothing on but a bathrobe. The old woman, who either blushed very easily or was heavily made up, quickly looked away embarrassed. Willem wasn't too sure if she was embarrassed for him or her, but decided to not bother asking. He returned to the lounge, but got as far as the doorway before stopping, and just watched his best mate and nephew as they played.

Jake called out “Spider-man” and Curtis assumed his attack pose, before running into Jake hitting him with everything he had, each thump accompanied by a “doof”.

That was what Willem loved about Jake; he always came across as a bit of tough-nut, the kind of guy who was always good humoured around those he liked, but not the sort of person you'd want to cross. The shaved head (freshly razored at the behest of Amy, no doubt) added to this effect, and it was a look Willem was beginning to get used to, after a week of it not growing on Jake. Despite all this, Jake could be the gentlest soul in the world, amazingly compassionate and considerate, and his tactility with young children was beyond reproach.

Although neither as tall nor as ugly, Willem had heard people refer to Jake as the BFG, and it was a label Willem kind of agreed with. Not that he was especially tall, but his bulk always made Jake appear like a giant among men.

Now they were rolling on the floor, Curtis on top, arms held high claiming he was the winner. Jake offered Willem a wink.

“Coffee?” Willem asked, still smiling.

“Good call,” Jake replied.

Once Jake was able to extricate himself from Curtis, he joined Willem in the kitchen and plonked himself on his usual stool by the back door. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. “So what's the what, guy? I doubt you called me here just to admire my gorgeous looks.”

Willem turned from the kettle and looked Jake up and down. The tight jeans Jake wore were doing him no favours, pressed as they were against his not so impressive crotch. Briefly Willem was reminded of their hug during the early hours of Wednesday morning, but dismissed the thought quickly. “No,” he said, “not to admire your looks.”

“Yeah, I'm just too much man for you. One day you'll have to admit it.”

Willem laughed, glad to see that Jake was as in high spirits as he. He had wondered if Jake was still a little off about his trip, but it seemed Jake had got used to the idea. “Okay, one day, I promise. Until then, I need to talk to you about Curtis.”

Jake's good humour left him abruptly and he sat up straight, casting a quick glance to the hallway beyond. “What about him?”

Willem held up a hand, and said quickly; “Don't worry, he's not been harmed or anything like that. I'm just concerned for his wellbeing.” He let Jake relax a little before asking; “How many times has Curtis stayed here in the last two weeks?”

Jake thought about this. “Three, four?”

“Three, right. Two of those nights have been in the last three days. I don't know what's going on with Ren, and right now I don't much care, but a kid Curtis's age needs stability, not pulled from pillar to post.”

“Agreed. So what do you suggest?”

“I'm not sure, exactly, but I'm seriously thinking of bringing the Social in.”

Jake's eyes widened in surprise, although Willem wasn't sure why. It was a natural conclusion after the last few weeks.

“That is a seriously bad move, guy, get them involved and Lawrencia could end up losing Curtis.”

“Want to explain to me how that's a bad thing?”

Jake shook his head, and threw his cigarette into the back yard, without even trying to stub it out first. “How's this for a start; if Curtis ends up in Care you might never even get to see him again. He gets put up for fostering, next thing you know he's lost in the system, just another unwanted child. Name changed. How long before you lose track of him?”

That hadn't occurred to Willem; he had only been thinking that Curtis was in danger around Jimmy, and unfortunately by extension his sister. “Worst case…”

“Scenario? Yeah, I'm hearing that a lot. Someone needs to consider these eventualities, Will, 'cause it seems like your brain isn't functioning properly at the moment.”

“Oh, come on, just 'cause I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone a bit?”

Jake didn't answer; instead he stood up and left the kitchen. Willem narrowed his eyes, but followed nonetheless. The two of them stopped by the lounge and looked in on Curtis, who had fallen sleep watching CBeebies.

“Tell me, Will, do you really want to lose that kid? Cause I know I don't.”

Willem stepped back and rested against the wall. He closed his eyes and let out a breath of air. Now he thought about it, Jake was right. He opened his eyes and looked at Jake, who was still looking into the lounge. Jake loved Curtis; as far as Curtis knew Jake was as much his uncle as Willem was. Blood didn't matter in this case; it was the familial bond that counted. “What do you suggest?” he asked.

Jake never took his eyes off Curtis. “Speak to her, work something out. I don't know the details, but there is shit going on you're not aware of, guy, and I'd lay money on Lawrencia waiting for help from her big brother.” He looked back at Willem, and there was something in his eyes that made Willem believe him. “Maybe you can become his legal guardian, temporarily at least, until she gets rid of that dead weight?”

Now it was Willem's turn to be surprised. “Come on, really? Even if Lawrencia did agree to that, how can I look after him full time? My workload is…”

“Not insurmountable. Way you tell it Steve is amazing at his job, so I'm sure he could take a whole load of weight off your shoulders there.”

“I suppose.” Willem mulled it over, and he had to admit the idea did have much potential. Jimmy would never stand for it, but Jake would no doubt happily take care of that, and once Curtis was out of harm's way Willem didn't care two shits about what happened to Jimmy. Getting Lawrencia to agree, though, that would be a tough one. She'd take it as a personal attack.

BOOK: Seeker
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