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Authors: Duncan Ball

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BOOK: Selby Shattered
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Selby could have saved his breath. In fact, Selby
should
have saved his breath because when he yelled he was deep underwater. Not only could no one hear him but his lungs were filling with water.

He bobbed to the surface, this time yelling out, ‘I’m drowning!’ But all that came out was a rush of water followed by gasping and gurgling.

‘The doggy can’t swim!’ the little girl yelled, as Selby was swept away in the swirling water.

‘Nonsense!’ her mother said. ‘Every dog can swim.’

‘But this one can’t! He’s drowning!’

Without a second thought, the little girl dived into the creek, grabbed Selby by the collar and dragged him to shore.

Selby lay on the grass coughing and spluttering in the warm sun. Just then, Bogusville’s two police officers, Sergeant Short and Constable Long, made their way through the crowd.

‘Why, that’s Selby, Mayor Trifle’s dog,’ Sergeant Short said. ‘What’s wrong with him?’

‘He almost drowned but I saved him,’ the little girl said. ‘And guess what? He doesn’t have a shadow.’

‘He what?’ Constable Long said.

‘It’s true,’ the girl’s mother said. ‘He doesn’t have a shadow. It’s really weird.’

The police officers looked down at Selby.

‘This is it,’ Selby thought. ‘Selby’s curse. The shadowless dog. I’m a freak — and it’s all Mr Sombra’s fault.’

‘He’s got a shadow,’ Sergeant Short said, pointing. ‘Look.’

Everyone looked, even Selby.

‘So I do,’ Selby thought. ‘I’ve got my shadow back! The curse has lifted! I’m not a freak any more! Oh joy, oh joy!’

When Selby was safely at home with the Trifles, his mind turned again to the curse.

‘I was silly. I thought Bogusville was filling up with flies,’ he thought. ‘It
always
fills up with flies at this time of year. And there are willy-willies all the time in summer. And the clock hands stopping at midnight. That was the silliest thing of all. Both hands were pointing to twelve. It could have stopped at mid
day,
not mid
night.
Come to think of it, when I passed the clock it
was
midday. The hands of the clock hadn’t stopped at all. The only thing I can’t figure out is that shadow business.’

‘It’s a mystery,’ Dr Trifle said to Mrs Trifle. ‘I sprayed my newly-invented ShadeAway all over
Selby this morning when he was sleeping but it obviously doesn’t work.’

‘How do you know?’

‘Because I saw him come back from his walk and his shadow was trotting right alongside him. It was there all right. My invention is useless.’

‘Hmmm,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘I guess you’re right. You don’t suppose it got washed off, do you?’

‘Washed off? Impossible. It hasn’t rained for ages. Look out there — it’s a beautiful sunny day.’

‘It certainly is,’ Selby thought. ‘Without a shadow of doubt. A shadow of a doubt? What am I saying?’

Paw note: Not that again! Read my story ‘See-Through Selby’in the book
Selby’s Shemozzle
.

S

Paw note: Bogusville has a wonderful clock made of flowers.

S

I’m Not a Trotter or a Pacer

by Selby Trifle

I’m not a trotter or a pacer,
Or any other kind of racer.
To tell the truth I’m not so fast,
I only ever come dead last.

But there’s a race I’d love to win,
If only they would let me in.
Yes I would set a cracking pace,
If I could join the
human
race.

 

The Movie Magic of Jigsaw Jabbar

‘Who’s that strange-looking boy?’ Dr Trifle said to Mrs Trifle.

It was Saturday morning and the Trifles were strolling through Bogusville with Selby.

‘Which one?’

‘The barefoot one wearing a torn T-shirt and pants that are all ragged and falling down. He must be very poor. Do you think he’d let us buy him a belt?’

‘I don’t think he’s poor,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘That’s the way young people dress these days. And he’s not a boy — he’s a young man named Jigsaw Jabbar. He’s getting to be quite a famous fantasy film-maker.’

‘He doesn’t look old enough to be a famous anything,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘I wonder where he got that name — Jigsaw.’

‘It’s a nickname. His real name is Jabbar something-or-other. When he was ten, he was the world champion jigsaw puzzler. He could put a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle together in two-and-a-half minutes. And that was with the picture side face-down so he could only see the back of the pieces.’

‘Goodness me, I can’t even do them right-side up. How do you know all this?’

‘I said hello to him the other day and we had a nice chat. He’s given up jigsaw puzzles and started making movies.’

‘What sort of movies?’

‘Those ones with knights and castles and people fighting weird monsters. You and I saw one on DVD. Remember a film called
Dragon Mist Enigma?
That was one of his.’

‘He made that?!’ Selby thought. ‘That was brilliant! I loved all that stuff with fighting monsters.’

‘He made that?’ Dr Trifle said. ‘I liked it but there was too much monster-fighting for me.’

‘We also saw
Legions of the Fire King
and
Snow Dream Castle.‘

‘I loved those films, too!’ Selby thought. ‘I can’t believe he’s actually here in Bogusville!’

‘He’s hired the Bogusville Bijou Movie Theatre to use as a studio,’ Mrs Trifle continued. ‘He’s just finishing a movie in there right now.’

‘He must have hundreds of people working for him,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘It’s funny that I haven’t seen more strangers around town.’

‘I know,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘I haven’t seen any other strangers, either. They’re probably working so hard that they never leave the theatre.’

‘What I’d like to know is, if he’s such a bigtime film-maker, why isn’t he working in Hollywood? Or New Zealand?’

‘He said he likes the peace and quiet here. And he doesn’t like people snooping around when he’s making a movie. Bogusville people don’t snoop around.’

‘Maybe not,’ Selby thought, ‘but there’s one Bogusville
dog
who does. I think I might just drop in to the Bogusville Bijou and have a squiz. I know what these movie sets are like. They’ll be so busy that no one will even notice me
.

It was a silent dog that tiptoed out of the Trifle’s house that afternoon and trotted down to the Bogusville Bijou. And it was a curious dog that climbed up a pile of boxes and in through a window at the back of the theatre.

‘Hey, it’s as quiet as a graveyard in here,’ Selby thought. ‘Where is everyone?’

A beam of light shone through a crack in the curtain. Selby moved slowly towards it.

‘Who is it?’ a voice demanded.

‘Someone’s heard me!’ Selby thought.

‘Yes, Harry, it’s me, Jigsaw,’ the voice said again.

‘Phew,’ Selby phewed. ‘He’s just talking on his mobile.’

‘Okay, okay,’ Jigsaw said. ‘Stop worrying. We’re almost finished. Trust me. We’ve been working around the clock for the past four days. We haven’t had a wink of sleep. I’ll upload the film to you in about an hour. You can screen it as soon as I start uploading. The guys are working on a tiny technical problem with the last scene right now.’

Selby peeked out into the darkened theatre. There, in front of him, was the young man sitting alone in one of the seats. The theatre was completely empty except for him.

‘Guys?’ Selby thought. ‘What guys is he talking about? Who’s he kidding? There’s nobody here but him.’

‘What did you say, Harry?’ Jigsaw went on. ‘Don’t worry. Just feed the movie reviewers some popcorn. Yes, I know how important they are. It’ll be worth the wait. This movie will knock their socks off. Now let me get back to work, okay?’

Selby watched as Jigsaw Jabbar opened the laptop that he held on his knees. Suddenly the movie screen flickered. Selby made his way up the side aisle and parked himself on a seat behind Jigsaw.

‘Hey, that’s great!’ Selby thought. ‘The big movie screen is showing what he’s doing on his laptop.’

Selby settled back into his seat as Jigsaw Jabbar fast-forwarded through the movie.

‘Even when it’s going really really fast, I can tell it’s fantastic,’ he thought.

Jigsaw stopped the action. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. Suddenly he opened his eyes and jerked forward again.

‘The poor guy is really tired,’ Selby thought.

‘Got to get through this,’ Jigsaw said out loud. ‘Got to make the last scene and the film will be finished.’

‘Make
the last scene?’ Selby thought. ‘Is he kidding? It takes weeks — or months — to do a scene in a movie. You’ve got to get the actors and they’ve got to learn their lines. And then there’s the make-up people and the sets. What is it with this guy?’

Jigsaw typed something on the keyboard and then picked up a little microphone.

‘Mountains,’ he said.

Suddenly the outline of mountains appeared on the movie screen.

‘Colour,’ he said. ‘Grays and browns. Jagged rocks. Tufts of grass. Snow on mountain peaks.’

Each time Jigsaw spoke, the picture changed, becoming more and more realistic.

‘This guy’s a genius!’ Selby thought. ‘He’s invented a computer program that turns his words into movies. No wonder he can do everything himself. And no wonder he doesn’t want anyone snooping around to find out his secret.’

‘Mountains higher,’ Jigsaw went on. ‘Steeper. More cliffs. Waterfalls. Eagles in the sky. Stone castle on top of rocky peak. Six wooden towers on castle. One tower very tall.’

Jigsaw put his head in his hands.

‘Wake up!’ Selby thought. ‘Come on, you can do it!’

Jigsaw slowly stretched his neck by turning his head from side to side.

‘Sounds. Water and wind,’ he said. ‘Action.’

Suddenly the scene came alive. Eagles soared in the sky. Grass bent in the wind. Waterfalls streamed out of the rocks and into the valley below.

‘Soldier style twenty-two B,’ Jigsaw said. ‘Body armour style three-six-seven J.’

A huge man with long black hair appeared. He was holding a club and a whip.

‘Multiply soldier times six hundred.’

Suddenly there were six hundred warriors.

‘Bows and arrows. Clubs. Whips. Spears. Selection twenty-three. Armour Selection four Q. Mix.’

‘Wow!’ Selby thought. ‘This is the most fantastic computer program ever!’

‘Lower drawbridge,’ Jigsaw went on. ‘Warriors into castle. Take up guard positions. Insert Princess Fairhair from Clipboard two-three-five.’

There in the middle of the screen was a beautiful young woman with long blonde hair.

‘Princess into tall tower. Insert Army of Akrads from scene six-two-nine approaching on horseback. Play drumbeat. Start battle set-up fifteen and twenty-one. Action.’

Selby watched as a thousand dark figures poured through mountain passes riding their elephant-like beasts. The half-human, halfmonster figures now filled the screen, their huge teeth dripping goo, their eyes blood red.

‘Music continuity. Sequence ten minutes,’ Jigsaw called out. ‘Akrad attack on castle. Akrads
winning for eight minutes. Princess Fairhair leads counter-attack. She and ten warriors survive. Credit roll. Wrap.’

Selby watched the final battle scene with his heart pounding in his chest. Jigsaw slumped forward, his chin resting on the seat in front of him.

As the credits began to roll, Selby couldn’t stop himself. He clapped and cheered wildly.

‘Wonderful!’ he cried without thinking.

The boy-wizard film-maker turned in his seat.

‘Who’s there? What did you say?’

Selby sat silently, trying to look as innocent as a dog who had just yelled out in plain English could have looked.

‘Hey! You’re a dog!’ Jigsaw exclaimed. ‘Or am I just imagining you? Come here, boy. Come on. Here doggy doggy.’

‘I’d better do what he says,’ Selby thought as he trotted down the aisle and climbed up on the seat next to Jigsaw.

‘Are you real?’ Jigsaw asked, rubbing his eyes. ‘You
look
real.’

Silence.

Jigsaw gave Selby a pat.

‘And you
feel
real,’ he said, ‘so you must be real. But tell me you didn’t say
wonderful.

More silence.

‘Wonderful,’ Jigsaw said, staring into Selby’s eyes.

Selby opened his mouth.

‘W-w-w-,’ he started. And then he said,
‘Woof
!

‘Yeah, I was hearing things,’ Jigsaw said, leaning over and reading Selby’s tag. ‘Selby,’ he said. ‘Good name. If I were a dog, I’d like to be called Selby
.’

Jigsaw’s mobile started ringing but he didn’t answer it.

‘That’ll be Harry and his film critics. I’m not going to answer it and I’m not going to upload the film to them. Sorry guys, but it’s rubbish.’

‘No, it’s not,’ Selby thought. ‘It’s great!’

‘Boring boring boring,’ Jigsaw mumbled. ‘It’s the same old thing.
Dragon Mist Enigma, Legions of the Fire King, Snow Dream Castle,
and now this
one,
Myth Chaser.
They’re all the same. I’ve made the same film four times.’

‘I could see twenty of them and not be bored,’ Selby thought.

‘They always want you to do the same thing over and over again. I want to break out. I want to do something different for a change.’

‘What does it take to make this guy happy?’ Selby wondered. ‘He’s made some great films! He’s famous!’

‘Do you know what would make me happy?’ Jigsaw said to Selby as if Selby could understand what he was saying (which he could). ‘I’d be happy if I could make a happy movie with lots of singing and dancing in it.’

Jigsaw’s mobile kept ringing.

‘Oh, be quiet,’ he said to it. ‘Tell the movie reviewers to go home because they’re not going to see this film. I’m going to delete the whole thing right now. And then (yawn) I’m going to (yawn) get some sleep.’

BOOK: Selby Shattered
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