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Authors: Kimberly Schwartzmiller

SEPARATED: CONCLUSION TO UN-RELATED (14 page)

BOOK: SEPARATED: CONCLUSION TO UN-RELATED
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I’VE CHANGED MY MIND

 

A couple of hours later I started to get a backache. By dinner time my back ached so bad that I refused dinner and opted instead to try and sleep.

“It’s almost over, Abby. Is there anything I can get you, or do for you to make you feel better?” Margot asked me.

“No, I just want to sleep, and hopefully, when I wake up, I’ll feel better.”

“Do you want a sleeping pill? Landry left you a couple of them.”

“No, I’m okay.”

“You’re not having contractions, are you?” she asked while walking toward the door.

“No, it’s just a backache. I’ve been in this bed for three days straight now. I’d love to get up and walk for a while,” I looked up at Kellan and realized there was something else I wanted more, but I knew he wasn’t going to let me do that, either.

“If you could lay on your belly, I’d give you a back rub,” Kellan grinned.

“Funny! I can
lie on my sides though, and you can massage one side and then the other,” I told him with a smirk.

“I can do that.”

“I think I’ll take my leave now. Goodnight, Abby. Kellan, are you coming down for dinner? I um, well, there’s someone I’d like you to meet. Actually, I’d like both of you to meet him, but maybe next time for you,” she smiled at me.

I saw the look in her eyes, and suddenly I felt like meeting this mystery man. “I think I would like to have some dinner…now,” I grinned, curious about the visitor that brought such a shine to Margot’s eyes.

 

“Emery, this is Kellan and Abby.” Margot put her arm through his and continued, “This is Emery.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Kellan said, offering his hand.

He smiled at me and I said hello.

“I guess congratulations are in order,” he smiled when he looked down at my over-grown belly.

“Emery, why don’t you help me get some wine, okay?”

They left and Kellan and I took our usual seats at the table. Landry and her husband joined us a few minutes later and soon we were all laughing and joking during dinner. Emery was a wonderful man and I could see Margot was really happy. I was happy for her. After dinner, everyone was going to the living room to talk. I stood up and Landry said, “Abby, I gave you a reprieve for dinner, but I’m sorry, it’s back to bed for you. Sorry, but I don’t want you on your feet any more than absolutely necessary.”

I sighed. “Okay. It was nice meeting you, Emery.” I looked up at Kellan and kissed his cheek. I’ll see you when you come up later.”

“I’m coming up now. Goodnight, everyone.”

“Abby, you are following…all of my orders, right?” she asked.

I looked up at her with guilty eyes, but Kellan said, “Yes, we are.”

She nodded and Kellan picked me up and carried me up the stairs.

“I think I can walk to the bedroom.”

“Nope, Landry said you needed to be off your feet.”

I smiled at him. “I love you.”

“Hmm, good thing, because I love you, too.”

 

Hours later I woke up and my backache was worse. I knew it was from constantly lying in bed. I showered and then did what I was told and climbed back into my bed, hoping to have some relief from the back pain.

The backache continued and a few hours later, I felt a pressure in my lower abdomen. I felt Kellan stir and knew he was starting to wake up, so I put my discomfort aside and focused on him.

“Good morning, Love. How are you feeling this morning?” he smiled at me and stretched.

“Hmm, better, now that you’re awake.”

He got up and showered and came back to me looking…gorgeous, as usual. It was irritating to me that while my abdomen kept growing, leaving me feeling fat and miserable, he still looked exactly the same…thin and perfect.

“I um, I have a few errands I need to do today. I wish you could go with me.”

“Me, too!”

“I should only be a couple of hours. Do you need anything?”

“Just you. Well, maybe some chicken strips,” I grinned.

“I think I can arrange that. Do you want me to go get them and bring it back now, or when I come back later?”

“Hmm…later. If you bring them now, I’ll only want them again tonight,” I smiled.

“Well, if you’re going to crave something, I’d much prefer it be chicken strips instead of pickles and ice cream.

“Oh, that sounds good, too!” I laughed jokingly.

“I’m sorry I said anything.” He leaned down and kissed the top of my head and said, “I have my phone if you need me. I’ll try not to be too long.”

I watched him walk out the door and reached for the remote. I flipped through the channels, finding nothing to watch. I turned off the TV and grabbed my book. I read a few pages and wondered how long Kellan had been gone. “Twenty minutes…that’s all?” I said aloud.

I was bored and I realized I could be stuck in bed for another three or four weeks, which wouldn’t be bad if Kellan and I were allowed to do more than talk and sleep. I knew there was no way he’d go against Landry’s orders, but I was more than willing to break that particular rule…again. I felt fine, other than the backache and I figured being with Kellan may work that out.

I laid there for hours waiting for him to come home and plotting how I could get him to succumb to my desires without a huge fight. I was bored though and I figured I was up for the challenge…

“Hi. Did you get some sleep?” Kellan asked me hours later when he finally made it back.

“That’s all I’ve done. I’m bored to death.”

“Well, I may have just the thing to keep you busy.”

“Actually, I know you do, but I know you won’t do it,” I sighed.

“If you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about, then you’re right, the answer’s no!” he said, obviously not even willing to discuss it.

“Fine. No, actually, it’s not fine. We’re going to have to wait weeks before I even have this baby and then we’re going to have to wait six more weeks…or so. It SUCKS!”

He had to stop himself from laughing when he noticed I wasn’t amused. He sat down next to me and said, “I’m sorry. I don’t like it any more than you do, but there’s nothing we can do about it.”

I sighed, “I could talk to Landry…”

“Abby, she said no, and we’re going to follow that rule.”

“But, it doesn’t make any sense. I’m fine, the baby’s fine. I can feel her kicking right now.”

He looked at my stomach and finally said, “Can I feel it…her? Please?”

I hadn’t let him touch my belly at all during my entire pregnancy. Even now, at eight months pregnant, I still didn’t want to accept the fact that I was carrying Joe’s baby. I looked up at Kellan and knew how much he wanted to be a part of my pregnancy, so I finally nodded yes.

He very slowly and carefully reached out and gently put his hand on my stomach. I took his hand and moved it to where she was kicking.

I watched his amazement and knew that he was going to make a wonderful father, someday. He was in awe, I could see it.

When she kicked, he looked up at me and said, “Does that hurt?”

I shook my head no.

“It’s amazing,” he said. “Abby…”

“No! I don’t want to keep her. She’s not yours,” I said, moving his hand away and turning onto my side.

He turned me back toward him and said, “What if she is mine? It is possible.”

“You know it’s not. Do you think I’d even consider giving her up if I thought for one second that she was yours?”

“Of course not. It’s just…even if she’s not mine…biologically, she’s still yours.”

“No, she’s not. She belongs to a really nice couple that will love her, and they won’t see…
him
every time they look at her.” I turned away from him again and stared at the yellow wall.

“I’m sorry this has been so horrible for you. I wish you’d tell me…”

“No. You’ll go after him.” I turned back toward him and said, “I need you. I’m scared.” I closed my eyes and tried to stop the tears, but they just kept rolling down the sides of my face into my hair.

“Landry said you can have pain medication if you go to the birthing center, or she can give you something that will help dull the pain…here.”

“It’s not the pain I’m afraid of.”

“Then, what is it?”

“I don’t want to see her, and I don’t want you to, either.”

He brushed my hair back with his hand and said, “She’s going to be beautiful, Abby. Just like her mother.”

“I’m not her mother. I’m just carrying her for her mother…that’s all. Promise me that you won’t look at her, or hold her, please?” I asked.

“Abby, I want to hold…”

“Promise me!”

“Okay, if it means that much to you. I’ll tell Margot…if you’re sure?”

I reached up and hugged him. “Thank you.” I took a deep breath and relaxed against him, feeling much better.

“Is that what’s been bothering you? You’re afraid I’m going to figure it out?”

“That, and I don’t want to see…him, in her eyes. I don’t blame her, it’s not her fault, and she deserves to be with people who will love her. I hate him and what he did to me, but I don’t hate her. I don’t love her, though, and I never will. Please understand that. If she was yours, I’d be so happy.” I was crying again.

“We’ll have babies, Abby; a
s many as you want…later. Let’s get through this, and then we’ll start all over…just the two of us.”

“I’ll be eighteen in a little over three months and then I never have to see Nancy and…them, ever again.”

“No, you won’t. You’ll be all mine!” He leaned down and kissed me and I refused to let go. I sighed and pulled him back to me when he tried to pull away…wanting and needing him.

“Abby…we can’t,” he said breathlessly.

“Just kiss me. It’s okay to kiss me…”

Evidently it wasn’t, because before too long, we were unable to stop…

 

“Oh, God, we weren’t supposed to that…again.” Kellan said while sitting up and running his hand through his tousled hair.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop,” I said, looking guilty but blissfully content.

 

We slept soundly after that, even though I know Kellan felt really guilty. He did finally fall asleep after I spent over an hour trying to convince him that the baby and I were both fine.

When I woke up, my back was killing me again. I stood up and stretched and cursed the bed, but smiled at Kellan when I noticed how content and perfect he looked laying only slightly covered by the sheet.

I finally waddled into the bathroom to get cleaned up so that I could go right back to bed. I took my allotted five-minute shower, got dressed and headed back into the bedroom only to find Kellan sitting up looking highly irritated.

“What’s wrong?”

“We’re not doing that again! I can’t believe I…”

“Would you stop, please? I’m fine, the baby’s fine. So, what would you like to do today?” I asked, hoping to change the subject.

“Well, I know what we’re NOT doing!”

I rolled my eyes and said, “Yeah, I kind of figured that. But, what
would
you like to do?”

“I have to go finish a couple of errands, but I promise I won’t be as long as yesterday.”

I frowned.

“I’ll bring you back some chicken strips,” he smiled when he noticed my frown.

“I don’t want chicken strips today. I only want you.”

“I already told you…”

“I didn’t mean that. I just want you to stay here with me. But, I’m sure you’re bored, too.”

“I love being with you. But, I didn’t finish everything I needed to yesterday. I’ll be back soon.”

“What didn’t you finish? You were gone all day yesterday.”

“I um, I have to pay my rent…and before you say anything, I mean...”

“I know what you mean. It’s okay. But, what else do you have to do?”

“I have to pick up some things…” he said, being very vague.

We had breakfast together and then he finally got dressed and said he’d see me later. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

I finally stopped pestering him about where he was going and said, “I’m fine. I’ll do something different, I’ll stay in bed and take a nap while you’re gone,” I giggled.

“Sounds like a good idea. I’ll see you later.” He kissed me on the top of the head.

“Kellan, I’m not twelve years old anymore. You can stop kissing me on my head.”

“Hmm, no I can’t, because if I kiss you anywhere else, it leads to…more.”

“I know…I like more,” I grinned.

“I’ll see you later.”

 

An hour later, I noticed the backache kicking in again. I was certain I had just put it out of my mind while I was talking to Kellan, but once he was gone, it came back to bother me in full force. An hour later, the pain had spread from my back to my abdomen and the slight menstrual cramps I had experienced a few days before were back, but this time they were stronger and coming in waves. In the back of my mind, I'm sure I knew I was in early labor, but I refused to admit it, even to myself. I just kept changing positions in bed, hoping the pains would stop. 

BOOK: SEPARATED: CONCLUSION TO UN-RELATED
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