SEPARATED: CONCLUSION TO UN-RELATED (9 page)

“Joe?”

I nodded, unable to say his name.

“Oh, he left. He had some errands to run. He’ll be back for dinner.”

“Oh, okay. I’m going to go back to bed, now. I’m still really tired.”

“Okay, you do that. I’ll bring your lunch into you in a couple of hours. I’ll pick up some saltine crackers, too. I heard they’re good for the nausea.”

“Thanks.”

“See, I can be a good mother. I promise you, I will be.”

I looked at her and said, “I um, I’m not making any promises, we’ll see how it goes, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll prove myself…I swear it!”

I headed back to my room and packed my bag. I called Tyler and asked him what time he was leaving and asked if he would please pick me up when I texted him.

“What do you mean?”

“I um, I need a favor. I need you to take me with you to Washington.”

“What?”
             

“
Tyler, I know I’m asking for a huge favor, but I’m begging you to do this for me. And, I need you to promise me that you won’t ask a lot of questions…”

“I don’t understand…what are you talking about?”
             

“Please, just come get me when I text you, okay? And, you have to promise not to tell anyone, okay? Please?”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll be there. We’re just about to head out, so we’ll wait for your text.”

“It won’t be long, I promise. As soon as
Nancy leaves, I’m out of here.”

That was settled, now I just needed to wait until Nancy left to go the store and I’d grab my money and throw some clothes into a bag.

She left about 30 minutes later. I quickly texted
Tyler and told him to meet me on the next street over in 20 minutes. He agreed without asking me any questions.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

I stuffed a bunch of clothes, things that would fit loosely with room to grow, into a bag. I grabbed my cell phone, my money and for some reason, my birth control pills and looked around the room, hoping it would be the last time I’d ever see it. I wanted to take my snow globes, but knew that I couldn’t. I figured I’d come back sometime for them. I barricaded the door with my chair and I started to head out the window, but I quickly glanced back at my snow globes and I knew I had to take my angel snow globe. I carefully wrapped it in all my clothes and climbed out the window. I kept waiting to vomit, but I think my adrenaline rush from running away was keeping my bile and my breakfast at bay.

I walked over to the next street and paced slowly, waiting for
Tyler.

He pulled up in his new car and got out. He grabbed my bag from me and opened the back door. I climbed in and leaned back in the seat.

Stephanie looked back over her shoulder and gave me a half smile and a quiet “Hello.”

“Hi, I’m really sorry to intrude on you guys. I swear I won’t stay long. I just need to figure out what to do.”

“About what? Oh, sorry. I promised I wouldn’t ask. But, Abby, you can stay as long as you want.”

I saw Stephanie glare at him, but she didn’t utter a sound.

“I figure I only have a couple of weeks before they figure out where I went.”

“Um, can I ask one question?”
Tyler asked.

“I can’t go to Kellan,” I said, anticipating his question.

“Why?”

“I just can’t. Besides, that’s the first place they’d look for me.”

“I um, I know your foster parents. Do you think they’re
going
to look for you?”

“I know they will…or at least,
Nancy will, but not for a while.”

“Abby…?”

“Tyler, please. I promise I won’t be any trouble and I’ll leave as soon as I can. Please don’t ask me any more questions, okay?”

He sighed and looked over at Stephanie and said, “Okay.”

I slept most of the way, only waking to vomit occasionally.
Tyler was great about stopping for me at a moment’s notice.

Stephanie followed me into the bathroom at one of the rest stops and cornered me.

“I need to know something,” she said, standing in front of me.

“Okay.”

“Do you want Tyler?”

There were tears in her eyes and I finally understood why she hadn’t said more than two words the entire drive.

“Stephanie, I’m so sorry. No! I love Kellan with all my heart. I love Tyler, I do, but not like that. I don’t want to hurt him, but I’ve always thought of Tyler as more of a brother, than a boyfriend. He loves you, he told me that. I swear I’m not a threat to you. I just need a place to stay until I figure out what to do. That’s all.”

“Does Kellan know about the baby?” she asked, with a small, sad smile.

I almost denied it, but I figured if I was intruding on her life with Tyler, then I needed to at least be honest with her. I shook my head no. “No one does…except Nancy…and now you.”

“Okay. I swear your secret’s safe with me. I won’t even tell
Tyler.”

“Thank you. I’m assuming he’s figured it out, and he’s giving me the space I asked for. I don’t really want to talk about it, and I think he knows that.”

“Okay. Enough said. And, you’re welcome to stay as long as you need,” she said and reached up and hugged me.

“Thank you.”

We checked into a hotel at about 10:00 that night.

“Abby, we can all share a room,” Tyler offered.

“No, that’s okay. I um, I’m going to call Kellan…tell him where I am,” I lied.

“If you’re sure?” Stephanie asked, looking relieved to have Tyler to herself.

“Yeah, I’m positive. Goodnight.”

I did call Kellan, but I pretended I was calling from home. I figured I had at least a week before
Nancy contacted him, and I didn’t want him to needlessly worry or worse, come looking for me. I still hadn’t figured out what I was going to do or what I was going to tell him.

“Call me after you see the doctor tomorrow. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I love you.”

“I love you, too. I’ll talk to you tomorrow night.”

“Okay.”

We made it to Tyler’s grandmother’s house and I said, “I um, I don’t want anyone to know I’m here. Maybe I should just go to a hotel.”

“Relax, my grandmother’s in
Arizona until May. It’s just the three of us.”

“Oh, that’s great. Are you sure you don’t mind?” I asked
Tyler.

He hugged me and said, “I told you, I’d always be there for you.”

I didn’t fail to notice Stephanie’s look when he hugged me, so I quickly pulled back and said, “Thanks.”

I spent the next five days locked away in a room upstairs. I was trying to figure out what to do, but I still had no clue. I spent countless hours worrying, vomiting and holding my snow globe. I continued talking to Kellan on a nightly basis, trying to keep him convinced nothing was wrong and that I was still at home. I also told him I saw a doctor and I had some flu bug, like I thought, but that it was much better now. So far, it was working, but I knew my time was about up. I knew Nancy had expected me to come home long before now. I knew she wouldn’t go to the police or my social worker, but she’d come looking for me soon, and I knew she’d start with Kellan. I wasn’t wrong…

“Where are you, Abby!?” Kellan yelled a few days later and then his tone softened, “Are you okay?”

Of course my immediate reaction was to break down and sob. I couldn’t say anything for a few minutes. I knew this conversation was inevitable, but I still wasn’t prepared.

“Just tell me where you are and I’ll come get you.” He was trying to steady his voice to calm me down, but I knew he was in a state of panic.

“I can’t…tell you. I’m sorry.”

“What do you mean, you can’t tell me? You have to tell me! NOW!”

“Kellan, I …I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I left. I just couldn’t.”

“Abby, you’re not making any sense. Now just tell me what happened.”

“I just had to leave, but I’m safe.”

He didn’t say anything for a few minutes and when I could no longer stand the silence, I said, “I’m not running away from
you
, you know that, right?”

“I don’t know what to think. You have me scared out of my mind. What are you running from?” he said, much calmer than I expected, which worried me more than if he was yelling.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I…just couldn’t.”

“Tell me what?” he snapped.

“I just need some time, okay?”

“Okay? No, I’m not okay with any of this. I’m afraid I’m going to need to know more than that, Abby. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

“I can’t tell you. I know what you’ll do.”

“What do you think I’m going to do?”

“Please just give me some time. I really just need…some time.”

“Time for what? Abby, I want to know where you are. At least tell me that, so I know you’re safe.”

“I am safe, I promise.”

“If you won’t tell me, then I’m coming to look for you!”

“No, you can’t leave school! Please don’t do that,” I sobbed, knowing he would.

“I don’t understand what could be so terrible that you won’t at least talk to me about it. We talk about everything! What could possibly be so bad that you’re afraid to tell me?”

When I didn’t say anything, he whispered, “Is there someone else?”

“How can you even ask me that? I love you! That hasn’t changed and it never will.”

“Then what
has
changed?”

“I know you don’t understand and I know I’m asking a lot, but please give me a little time.”

“Abby, please tell me where you are.” He was breathing hard and I knew he wanted to scream at me, but I think he knew he didn’t have any control over the situation, and that was killing him.

“I can’t…not, yet.”

“How much time do you need?”

“A couple of weeks…”

“No way. Don’t do this to me, please!”

“One week and then maybe I’ll know what to do.”

“About what? Abby, I’m going crazy here. I’ll give you until Friday and that’s it! After that, I’m coming to look for you!”

I sighed, “Okay, Friday.”

“I don’t like this, Abby. Not one bit!”

“I know and I’m sorry. But, you just have to trust me.”

“I do trust you, but I don’t understand why you don’t trust
me
enough to tell me where you are and what’s wrong.”

“I’m…afraid.”

“Of what? Do you think I won’t love you anymore?”

“No, I’m afraid of what you’ll do. I need some time to think.”

“You’ve had time. Nancy said you left over a week ago. She thought you were with me. It took me over an hour to convince her that you weren’t here. And the whole time I was talking to her, all I could think of was something terrible had happened to you. Do you have any idea what you put me through?”

“I know, I’m sorry. I started to tell you a few times, but I knew you’d come looking for me.”

“So, you had no intention of telling me where you were, or that you were even gone, until I specifically asked?”

“I told you, I can’t.”

He was hurt and angry, and I didn’t blame him.

“Fine, you have until eight am Friday morning, or I’m on a plane looking for you.”

“Don’t you have class on Friday?”

“Do you honestly think I’m going to be able to go to class and concentrate on anything…but you? It’s hard enough to keep my mind off of you when I
know
where you are and that you’re safe!”

“Kellan…I’m sorry.” I was crying again.

“Then tell me! Whatever it is, we can work it out. I’ll fly out and get you now, tonight! Just, please…”

“Friday. I’ll talk to you Friday. I promise. I love you.” I said and then hung up the phone before I caved and told him everything.

I spent the next hour dry-heaving into the toilet. I had hurt him so bad and I was so miserable that I was completely over-whelmed and I just couldn’t bear it anymore.

Tyler found me on the bathroom floor a while later, hysterical, but too tired to fight him when he carefully picked me up and put me to bed.

“You need to see a doctor.”

I looked up at him and said, “I know what’s wrong with me.”

“That test was positive, wasn’t it?”

I looked up at him and nodded.

“He doesn’t know?”

I shook my head no.

“Not feeling much like talking?” he asked, due to my lack of verbal replies.

The tears started again. “I really hurt him…on the phone.”

“He did sound upset.”

I sat up and said, “What?”

“He just called me. You told me he knew where you were. Why did you lie?”

“Oh, Tyler, did you tell him where I was? Please tell me you didn’t!”

“I thought he knew and when he called, he asked to speak to you because he couldn’t get through to your cell phone. You talk to him every night. How was I supposed to know you didn’t tell him, or that you didn’t want him to know? He’s smart, I’ll give him that.”

I turned away from him and faced the wall.