September Tango (10 page)

“
I know.” He looked back down at their graves. “I just hope that I made them proud.”

She kissed his cheek. “You did, and I'm damn sure you still are, baby.” Calvin nodded.

“Yeah, I hope you're right,” he said, getting back to his feet. He simply stood that way for a few minutes. He turned and looked at her quietly. “Ain't your Mama here too, Zoe?”

“
Yeah, she is.” She smiled sadly.

“
We might as well bring this somber mood full circle. Let's go see her too.” He squeezed her hand before pressing his fingers to his lips and touching each stone. “I love you both. I miss you.” He turned and took Zoe's hand again. “Let's go.”

Zoe picked through the grass, moving just a few rows down and to the left. She paused at an ornately carved stone, an angel rising from the rugged rock. “Here she is,” she whispered. The stone read, 'Lila Parker: Devoted Wife and Mother, May You Rest in Peace'.

“Do they use the same words for all stones?” Calvin quipped sadly.

“
Pretty much. Not much they can say otherwise, I guess. It sounds good.” She shrugged, her head dipping and a sigh escaping her mouth.

“
I'm sorry you lost your Mama and your Daddy. It's not fair.” He touched her cheek.

“
Neither is it fair you losing yours. But we did. All we can do now is make the best of our lives.” She smiled softly, her eyes forlorn.

“
That's all we can do.” They stood simply in the cemetery, the soft sunshine warming them. It was peaceful and serene, and they just couldn't bear to let that feeling go yet. She took a slow breath, the smell of wildflowers tickling her nose. She rested her head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of her head.

“
You ever feel like you're in the right spot for the first time ever, Zoe?”

She lifted her head and looked at him. A gust of wind fluttered her hair. “I've only felt that way one time in my life.” She put her head back on his shoulder.

“Yeah? When was that? You tell me yours, and I'll tell you mine.” He elbowed her in her side, teasing.

“
Every second I'm with you,” she whispered.

“
Funny, I was going to say the same thing,” he murmured, his throat tight with emotion. “I've never felt like I was in the right place at the right time, but I do with you. Everything is just easy.”

Tears filled her eyes and she blinked rapidly so he wouldn't see. “I'm becoming too dependent on you, Calvin. I need you too much.”

“I don't think there is such a thing as needing someone too much.” He stroked a hand over her hair.

“
There is when everyone leaves you, Calvin. You'll be leaving me. For God knows how long.” She sniffled and furiously wiped at her eyes.

He pulled her into his arms and she refused to meet his eyes. He tipped her chin up. “Six months. That's all. Then I'll be back stateside. We have Skype. We can talk all the time.”

Her throat ached with the tears she refused to shed. “It's not the same as being with you, Cal.” Tears started to fall. She wiped her eyes again. “It's not the same as holding you, as kissing you.”

He nodded. “I know it's not, Babe. But, it is only six months. Would you be willing to wait for me?” His heart squeezed in his chest.

She smiled sadly. “You're stupid as hell. Why did you even ask?” She pulled him into a kiss and he tasted the salt from her tears.

“
Zoe...” He wrapped her tight in his arms and she held on against the tempest of the storm warring in her breast. He was all she had to hold onto and she'd damn well hold on as long as she could. Finally she pulled back and wiped her eyes again with a shaky smile.

“
I'm exhausted. I just want to go home.”

“
Okay, Babe. I can stay with you for a while.” He kissed her temple.

“
No. You go spend time with your family. They need to see you too. I need tonight by myself.” She shrugged. “You've become such a huge part of me over the last couple of days; I need to make sure I know who I am without you.”

“
Is that a bad thing?” He caught her hand in his.

“
No. It's just a lot to deal with on top of everything else. I'm just drained. I can't take any more emotion one way or the other right now. I just want some ice cream and a bad movie. I want you to see your family and spend time with them.” She squeezed his hand and they walked toward the car.

“
Alright,” he said softly, sensing her pulling away from him. It felt like a piece of him being torn away. He wanted to push her, to make her stay with him tonight, but he knew it would be wrong on so many levels. She needed the space and time. She was silent on the ride to her house. As he pulled up in the drive she took a slow breath and he took her hand. “I want you to know that I love you.”

She smiled at him, her haunted eyes warming slightly. “I know,” she whispered softly. “As I love you.” He slid his hand into her hair and pulled her to him, pressing his lips gently to hers.

“Let me walk you to the door.” He unbuckled his seat belt and she put a hand on his arm.

“
No, I'm fine. I will see you later?” She opened the door and began climbing out.

“
Tomorrow.” He promised.

“
Tomorrow,” she smiled softly. He watched her walk to the door, the late afternoon sunshine gilding her dark hair with copper and red lights, and filtering through her sundress, highlighting her form. She turned at the door and raised her hand in salute. He waved back and backed out of the driveway. She watched him leave before letting herself inside.

As she closed the door, the tears started to fall. She leaned back against the door and slid down to a crouch, resting her face against her knees. She soaked her dress with her tears. Sobs racked her frame and she beat her fists on the floor. “It's not fair, damn it. I need him, but he has to go. It's just not fair. Not a damn bit of this is. Damn it!” She screamed into her lap. Her hair fell around her face, finally breaking free of the elastic holding it.

She took a few slow breaths and sat there as the sun moved across the sky. She watched the patterns the sun made through the leaves of the trees on the kitchen floor in fascination. She felt wrung out, used up, and spent. Another slow breath found twilight sinking in. She shook herself out of her sadness and picked herself up off the floor. She shuffled to the couch and collapsed into the cushions. Fiddling around on the coffee table, she finally found the remote and turned the TV on. She didn't care what she watched, just that the noise was with her so she wasn't alone.

He pulled into the driveway and parked the car. He felt empty and hollow. He dragged himself out of the car and trudged up the steps to the front door. He opened it slowly and walked in. He found his plate of food in the old yellow oven, still moderately warm. He rummaged through the fridge and found a beer in the back. He shuffled to the table and sat down heavily. He opened the beer and took a long drink, grimacing at the taste. He heard the end of a recliner drop and someone coming into the dining room. He picked up his fork and took a bite of macaroni and cheese, the food tasting like nothing in his mouth.

Pops came in the doorway. “Boy, you got it bad if she's driving you to drink.” He pulled out one of the wooden chairs and sat down heavily. “I've never seen you like this.”

“
This tastes like shit,” he muttered, taking another swig of the beer. “But I just want something to take the edge off.”

“
Nah, son, that ain't the way to deal with how you feel. You know it's not. What's going on?” He leaned forward on the table.

“
I love her,” he croaked and hung his head. “I feel like sobbing in one second, then screaming at the tops of my lungs that I'm so unbelievably lucky. I just...” He trailed off, taking another drink of the beer. “I have to leave her soon.”

“
She's the one then. That settles it. When you are so messed up in the head you can't eat and are driven to drink because you can't stand being away from her... You've got it bad. So what are you going to do about it, boy?”

“
I don't know yet.”

“
Gimme that beer. You need a clear head.” He snagged the Corona and finished it off. “Ahh. That hits the spot.”

Calvin grinned. “What do you think I should do, Pops?”

He rubbed his whiskery chin and thought for a moment. “You know, Calvin, if it was me; I'd do something that blew her mind and washed away any doubts and concerns.”

“
Yeah? Grams gave me her ring.” He took another bite of macaroni and cheese, his appetite returning. “I wish I could get like a balloon ride. Or something.” He rubbed his forehead.

“
What if she's scared of heights, boy? That's romantic as hell, puke on your feet.”

Calvin laughed. “True.”

Pops tapped his hand on the table. “You'll come up with something.” He stood and his hips cracked. “How about you come in here with us and watch some TV. It ain't good to be alone when stuff is eating at you.”

“
Zoe wanted to be alone tonight.”

“
That poor girl needs some serious love to make her shine again, boy. You're gonna have to give her your all. It may take a long time, but she'll start to shine bright again. Your Grams was that way when I fell in love with her.”

“
She was?” Calvin paused.

“
Yep. It took many years and your Daddy being born for her to realize how special she was. When that little boy smiled at her the first time, I think that's what did it.” He smiled softly. “I'll never forget her eyes when the light turned back on for her. I always knew she was beautiful, but when she became whole again? Man. I realized just how lucky I was that she loved me.” He smiled ruefully and walked toward the living room. “Come on, boy. Let your burden down for the night.”

He picked up his plate and followed his Pops to the living room, where Matlock was on the TV. He finished his dinner and found himself dozing on the couch.

Chapter Fourteen
– Monday Morning

She woke up with a start, drool running down her face. She pushed herself up and looked curiously at the TV. There was no picture on the screen, just the white snow and a
shhh
sound. She poked buttons on the remote in frustration. “What the hell?” She rubbed her gritty eyes and hauled herself off the couch. She had to pee like a racehorse. She looked at the time on the microwave. 5:45 am. She stretched her arms above her head and stumbled down the hall to the bathroom. The bright light from over the mirror temporarily blinded her; she had to wince against the brightness. She sighed as she emptied her bladder. The exhaustion she had felt was finally gone, and in its place was hope. Hope for a better tomorrow. She'd wait for Calvin, because they had something between them that was tangible and real. She'd never felt like this before and, even if it hurt, she was going to hang on for the ride; however long it lasted.

She pushed herself up and flushed the toilet before stripping her clothes off and stepping in the old white tub. She pulled the green and blue shower curtain all the way around the tub and turned the handles, waiting for the water to warm. The spray from the shower head cut through the last vestiges of fog in her brain and she washed herself from head to toe, even shaving her legs smooth. She shampooed her hair with her favorite coconut shampoo and rinsed the lather from her long locks. She smiled, thinking of their shower together and her nipples hardened.
What I wouldn't give for him to be here right now.
Shaking herself out of the memory, she rinsed the last of the soap from her body and turned the water off. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
I'm gonna be okay.

She stepped out of the shower and dried herself with a sage green towel, rubbing her skin roughly, leaving a pink tinge to it. She brushed out her hair, letting it spread down her back to dry. She crossed the hall to her bedroom and dressed for the day, a pair of denim capris, a coral tank top with a floral design and a brown headband to hold her hair out of her face. She padded down the hall and went to the coffee pot. She looked silently out the window at the lightening sky as she put a filter in the pot, added grounds and water. She hit the power button and the quiet
drip drip
soothed her nerves. She went to the fridge and found some liquid creamer. She pulled a pink cup out of the old wooden cupboard and set it on the counter. She added creamer and a couple of spoons of sugar from the cut glass bowl beside the pot. With a final
hiss
the pot was done. She poured herself a cup and stirred, watching the coffee go from dark to light.

Moving quietly through the kitchen to the door, she opened it and walked out onto the porch, the light dew from the night dampening her feet. She walked to the swing and sat down, the old chains squeaking in the still of the early morning dusk. She sat there and watched the sun rise on the horizon, the beauty of the ever changing palette making her chest ache. She drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, the dredges of her coffee cooling on the porch railing. She swung slowly as the sun finished its ascent into the sky. She leaned back and flew through the air.

He groaned as he heard his phone ringing. Dawn had flickered through the sky, so he knew it was morning. His head drummed. He rolled over and picked up the phone. “Hello?” He answered groggily.

“
Staff Sergeant Hall?” A booming voice came through the line.

“
Yes?” He sat up quickly.

“
This is First Sergeant Porter of Rear Detachment. I got word from First Sergeant Lyle in Afghanistan this morning. We are going to have to cut your leave short. Instead of leaving on Thursday, I need you back to Fort Carson on Monday; ready to ship back out on Tuesday.” He paused. “I'm sorry, son.”

“
I'll be there, First Sergeant.” He rubbed his eyes. “What time?”

“
Zero nine hundred.”

“
Alright, First Sergeant.” He sighed.

“
Enjoy the rest of your time home, soldier.” The phone disconnected.

“
Damn it to hell!” He beat his pillow. He jumped out of bed and pulled his jeans on and an undershirt before heading out to the kitchen. He could smell bacon and coffee. Grams and Pops were already up. He looked at the clock. It was nine thirty. “I just got a call from my First Sergeant. I gotta be back in Colorado on Monday. I ship back out on Tuesday. Change of plans.” He tried to shrug it off. Grams turned around from the stove, a greasy fork in her hand. Pops sat his cup down.

“
Damn, son.” Pops shook his head. “Such is the life, I guess.”

Calvin nodded. “Yeah.” He poured himself a glass of orange juice from the fridge. “I will have to get a flight back there. I'll work on that tonight. I need to see Zoe first.”

Pops took a drink of his coffee as Calvin sat down at the old wood table. “ You figure some stuff out, son?”

Grams put a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him and kissed his temple. “It'll be alright, baby.”

“Yeah, I did. I know what I want to do. It just puts a time crunch on me.” He sighed and dug into his breakfast. “God, Grams, this is good.”

She smiled. “I know. We need to get some meat on your bones before we send you back out to the damn sand pit.” She put two more slices of bacon on his plate. “Eat.”

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. “I'm going to try and call Zoe.”

She smirked. “I'll let you call the girl this one time from my table. But no more. Got it?”

“Got it, Grams.” He had the phone to his ear and waited for a ring. It went straight to a message that said the number had been disconnected. “What the hell? It says her number has been disconnected.”

“
Bet that man didn't pay no bills,” Grams remarked.

He sighed. “I'm gonna finish breakfast then run over there to her, make sure she's okay. Y'all need anything while I'm out?”

“Nah, baby. Just go enjoy yourself.”

He rushed through eating and jumped up from the table, putting his dishes in the sink and kissing Grams' cheek. “Love you, Grams. Thank you.” He patted Pops on the shoulder. “Love you too, and thanks.”

“Anytime, son.” He squeezed Calvin's hand and they watched their boy run off the porch and to his car with a smile on his face.

“
He's happy,” Grams murmured. Pops nodded.

She got off the swing and stretched before heading back inside. She picked up her phone and shot a text to Calvin saying she missed him. The text didn't send through. Looking curiously at the screen, she dialed his number, and got a message saying she needed to pay her bill to have services turned back on. She groaned and grabbed her keys from beside the door and put her flip flops on before walking out to the Jeep. She was heading to the bank to find out why these bills hadn't automatically withdrawn from the account she shared with her dad. Her heart hammered in her chest in fear.
What if there is no money left? God damn it. He wouldn't do that to me... Would he?

She drove a little too fast down the highway to the middle of town, easing off the gas as she drew closer to the bank. It was in the style of the rest of town, cut stone on the outside, an American flag fluttering in the breeze in front of it, some sad looking petunias and shrubs lining the front, grey slab stairs leading to a glass door. She parked on the side of the street and turned the Jeep off, her hands shaking so hard she could barely hold the keys.

She slid out of the Jeep and woodenly walked to the door, already preparing herself for the worst. She touched the metal handle and pulled; some bells jingling, welcoming her to the First National Bank of Major. She took in the brown carpet that needed to be updated and the old wooden desks where people sat, working hard on whatever they had to do this morning. The tellers stood to the left, organizing their counters. She walked to the counter and put her purse up on it. The teller smiled. She couldn't remember her name, but thankfully she had a name tag on her pale pink cardigan. Her name was Nancy, and Zoe had known her all her life. She swallowed and Nancy smiled brightly.

“
Good morning, Zoe, how are you today? What can I do for you, honey?” She stood poised, ready to work.

Zoe swallowed again. “Morning, Nancy. I'm okay. How are you?”

“I'm wonderful, honey. Thanks for asking.” She paused. “What can I do you for? You feelin' alright, honey?” She reached her hand over and squeezed Zoe's forearm.

“
Um. I...” She stopped then rushed out the rest of the sentence. “I need to check my account.” Her heart thundered against her ribs.

“
Okay, give me one second...” Nancy punched in her name then her brow furrowed. “Can you give me just a minute, Sweetie?” She clicked a button on her screen, making it blank before walking away. Zoe felt bile rise in her throat as she saw Nancy coming back with the bank manager. He walked stiffly in his suit and came to her side, reaching out a beefy hand.

“
Good morning, Miss Parker. Why don't you come back to my office and we’ll have a little chat?” She ignored his hand.

“
Okay,” she whispered. He dropped his hand finally and coughed.

“
Follow me, please.” He headed toward the back and Nancy gave her a small smile. She hung her head and followed him, knowing that things were only going to get worse. He had entered a small office, all decorated in this plain steel grey. Grey desk, grey chairs, even a grey cat on his calendar. She sat down in one of the chairs and he closed the door behind her. “Miss Parker, I regret to inform you that your account is overdrawn. Significantly.”

She went pale and her mouth opened and closed a few times. “How significantly?”

He sat down in the chair, unbuttoning his suit jacket so his paunch wasn't suffocated in the material. He poked a few buttons on the keyboard. “We see that you are at about $2,500 in the red right now. I am seeing significant charges from Las Vegas.” He looked at her quickly. “Miss Parker? Are you alright?”

She put her head between her knees. “Can I have some water, please?” She fought the spiraling nausea that was pulling her down a dark hallway to passing out.

He jumped up and went to the door. “Nancy, a cup of water! Now!” He rubbed her back. “Now, Miss Parker, we can figure this out. There is more I need to tell you.” Nancy came through the door with a cup of water she had sloshed all over her hand. Zoe sat up with wet eyes and took a drink.

“
There's more? I don't know if I can handle anything else today. I just want to go home.” She stood, her legs shaking.

“
You need to sit down, Zoe. This is important.” He gently took her arm.

“
Don't touch me,” she rasped. “I want to go home.”

“
It won't be your home much longer,” he said quietly.

“
What?” She turned, her face going pale again. She sat down quickly. “What do you mean it's not going to be mine much longer?” She shook all over, and bile rose in her throat. She grabbed his trash can and threw up until there was nothing left in her body. She wiped her hand across her mouth and put the trashcan down. “I'm so sorry.” She took another sip of water, trying to stop the shaking.

“
Miss Parker, don't apologize. You've had a bad morning.” He smiled sadly. “I... I regret to inform you that your house is in foreclosure. We are about fifteen days from taking possession.”

“
Foreclosure.” She ground out. “My childhood home is in foreclosure.” The shakes returned full force and she covered her face with her trembling hands. “Oh my God.” She took a breath. “How come I didn't know?”

“
Your father was having mail sent to a PO Box, it looks like. I guess you never got anything.” He patted her arm. “I'm so sorry.”

“
Me too,” she uttered. “I have nothing left.” She stood up and turned to leave. She paused for a second. “You'll have to take everything to pay the debt, won't you?”

“
Yes, I'm sorry. You can keep basic possessions, but everything else will be ours when we take possession.”

“
I see,” she said brokenly before picking up her purse. “Thank you for your time, sir.” She held her head high and walked out of the bank, tears flooding her vision. She wiped at them angrily and got in the Jeep. She peeled out, making a u-turn and driving like hell's demons were after her. Lights flashed in her rear view mirror and a siren sounded. “Son of a bitch!” She screamed, beating the steering wheel in fury as she pulled over. She leaned forward, sobbing. An officer came to her window.

“
License and registration please.” He bent and looked in the window. “Zoe Parker? What the hell is wrong honey? You hurt?”

She shook her head and sobbed harder. Snot started running down her face and she wiped at it, smearing it across her cheek. “Everything's wrong. My house is being taken. My dad took every penny we had, in fact, put us in the hole. I have nothing left.” She leaned back against the head rest and beat the steering wheel again with both fists, the horn letting out a pathetic toot. “Now, you're gonna give me a ticket I can't afford. God damn it!”