Shades of Gray (93 page)

Carrie rose. “I’ll join him,” she said.

“Well, time for me to sleep, then,” said M’zaynal, rising stiffly to her feet. “You can break your fast here in the morning.”

“Thank you for your hospitality,” said Kaid, getting up as she left.

 

The night was dark, with barely any moonlight. What little there was reflected off the water fountain in the central courtyard. Kusac went over to it and sat on the edge, listening to the sound of the water. Why did this all have to come to a head now, when he and Carrie had just gotten together again? He was getting used to how his new body moved, and he’d managed to avoid looking in a mirror so far, but it wasn’t easy for him either.

He heard her soft footsteps and looked up as she joined him on the rim of the fountain.

“I understand how you feel,” he said. “So long as we can work together ...”

“You don’t understand. I want to hold you so much it hurts, but you don’t look like my Kusac anymore.”

Reaching out, he laid his hand on her shoulder. When she didn’t flinch away from him, he moved a little closer.

“Lean against me,” he said. “It’s so dark we can barely see each other. Forget how I look, just see me.”

Her body was stiff and unyielding as she leaned against him. In the silence, the sound of the water falling into the catch pool made a cheerful chuckling sound at odds with how they both felt, and around them, they could hear the chirping of cicada-like insects.

He rested his chin on the top of her head, moving it gently from side to side in his usual caress.

Do you remember that first night I held you on Keiss?
he sent.
There were insects chirping in the grass then.

And I felt so scared of how we’d Linked minds,
he chuckled mentally.
You felt so small and vulnerable to me, but not alien—you never seemed that. But when I saw my hands against your smooth skin . . .

You’re saying that’s where I am again,
she sent.

“Then we solve this, tonight,” he whispered in her ear.

“I don’t know if I can,” she said.

“You can,” he said, nuzzling at her ear. “Because you’re my life-mate, my love, my Leska. You have more strength of will and determination in your little finger than any Sholan female I know.”

“You think that of me?” she asked, her body losing its rigidity as she finally relaxed against him.

“I know it,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “The M’zullians depend on our fear of them to control us. I’m afraid of this body pushing you away from me, more afraid of that than our missions.”

If you weren’t by my side, life wouldn’t be worth living,
he said, trying to lick her neck, discovering his bifurcated tongue was only flicking it.

“That tickles,” she said, pushing up her shoulder to stop him, but there was warmth in her voice now.

“Hmm. I can see I’m going to have to learn new tricks,” he murmured.

A loud and obvious cough drew their attention, and he looked over to see a dark figure approaching them.

“Yes, Nishon?” Kusac said.

“I’ve come to show you to the guesthouse, Captain.” He stopped a little way off and bowed deeply.

“I thought we were sleeping in the hall,” Kusac said, surprised.

“Oh, no! You’re married!” he said, obviously horrified. “We’ve had your personal bags taken there. I’ve already shown the other couple the way. We’ve even found boots to fit you, ones like the M’zullians soldiers wear. Captain Kaid took your sword over for you. None of us wanted to touch it.”

“Thank you, Nishon,” he said, reluctantly letting go of Carrie.

“Very kind of you,” she added, getting up.

They followed him to a small building just off the main square. Lights were on in the main room, and Nishon pointed to a corridor off to one side.

“Your bedroom is the first one,” he said, “and the bathroom is at the end.” He indicated the door to their right. “The kitchen and dining area is through there. We’ll bring your morning meal, so no need to rise early,” he added, bowing as he backed out of the open door, leaving them alone.

They looked at each other, and it was Carrie who spoke first. “At least we get tonight alone to get used to each other.”

He smiled. “I was thinking the same thing.”

 

When he saw them leave with Nishon, Kaid stepped out of the shadows and took their place by the fountain. He was deeply troubled by Vartra’s appearance earlier with Kusac’s sword. Not just that, the Ch’almuthians had not seen a Sholan, they had seen him as one of their deities, a messenger of their Gods.

Vartra!
he sent, trying to find the God’s presence.
What the hell are You doing? You usually use me for Your dirty work! What’s changed? Why Kusac? He has too much to lose now, dammit!

I didn’t choose him,
came the quiet thought.
In this, I am only the Entities’ messenger. Your role is to guard him well, as always.

That’s what frightens me,
Kaid growled, sitting down on the fountain’s edge.

He has resources you can’t yet imagine to call on. See that your own fears for him don’t make him doubt his abilities.
The last was stern, a forceful admonition.

When have I ever done that?
he demanded.
I’m still new to these mental abilities; he’s spent his lifetime learning them.

Be his strength, as Carrie is. Nothing more is needed,
said the voice growing fainter as a hand touched his shoulder.

His hand automatically went to his knife as he swiveled around to face whoever had touched him. It was M’zayash.

“Peace, Sholan Brother,” she said. “It’s hard to watch one’s pupil take the lead on a dangerous path, but this is what you trained him for, isn’t it?”

“Indeed,” he said, letting his hand rest on his thigh.

“Be content that he has such good companions as you and his wife on this path,” she said. “I sense that both of you were led to him by powers beyond you for just this day.”

He looked sharply at her. “How would you know?”

She shrugged. “All Entities are the same; their forms just differ on each world. We all have our part to play with them. You three have been touched by them, I know that.”

“Touched, and burned,” said Kaid harshly getting up.

“Ah, but wasn’t the salve worth the burning?” she asked cocking her head to one side in a very Sholan way.

He took a deep breath, sensing more here than what appeared on the surface. “Yes,” he said softly.

“Then be content that this is what must be. I wish you a peaceful night, Kaid Tallinu,” she said, bowing her head and slowly walking off.

He stood for a few moments longer, watching her retreating figure, not sure if she vanished as soon as she reached the shadows.

Bedtime,
sent T’Chebbi sternly from inside the sleeping room.
Ease worries with me.

Aye,
he sent, feeling his mood suddenly lighten as he headed for the main building.
In a room full of others, I think not.

Hah, a Challenge! You forget my skills!
she replied.

Morning came, and Kusac woke to find Carrie curled across his body in one of her usual positions. They’d both been nervous of each other, but the darkness had helped them remember only who they were, not what. He hadn’t rushed, and in the end, they had both enjoyed the sensations his new body aroused in them.

He moved slightly, easing her head off his shoulder and onto his chest, making her stir and utter small sounds of protest. At his waist, her hand unfurled and tucked itself around him.

Satisfied, he had just closed his eyes and begun to drift back to sleep again when Rezac began pounding on the door.

“Rise and shine, you two! First meal’s here and it’s hot. Fresh baked bread, eggs, and fried meat.”

Go away, you evil person,
said Carrie, burrowing deeper under the blankets and holding him tightly.

That’s not nice,
Rezac sent back.
I was just warning you before Jo drank all the coffee!

There’s coffee? Why didn’t you say so at once!
She threw back the blankets and bounced out of bed, searching on the floor for her clothes while Kusac groaned about his bruised ribs.

 

Their meal over, they traveled back to the warehouse and set up their base there, moving crates around until they had a small area at the center, concealed from casual eyes, where they could keep their armor and the radio to contact the weather station.

Kaid was talking to them now, telling them to turn on the automatic systems and evacuate the station at nightfall. There was no point in risking the M’zullians finding out they had access to working shuttles and were capable of reaching the weather station again.

While he was doing that, Kusac and Rezac were training in hand-to-hand combat with J’korrash and Schiya at the far end of the warehouse. They were taking a short water break, and Rezac was leaning on a crate, breathing heavily as he sucked up the water from a widemouthed cup.

“You certainly trained them well,” he gasped. “I’m having a job keeping up with them.”

Kusac was busy pouring water over his head then lifting it to let it run down his chest. He grinned, mouth wide. “Teach you to keep in shape,” he said.

“You’re doing very well,” said J’korrash, dipping her cup in the water barrel that had been brought for them from the village. “I’d say you have the same level of fitness in these bodies as you had before.”

“Makes sense,” nodded Kusac.

“You’re certainly getting more used to them,” said Schiya, sitting down on a crate. “You’re improving by leaps and bounds. You, Captain, are having less problem with the extra speed than Rezac.”

“That’s because I already have the extra speed, thanks to the changes that K’hedduk made to me,” he said dryly. “Slow down, Rezac, the speed will come with confidence and feeling at ease with your new body.”

“We shouldn’t be doing much hand-to-hand, though,” said Rezac.

“We’re training to get used to how our bodies move now, I told you that. Besides, you and I are likely to be at the front more often than the others because we’re both male and telepaths. We can’t risk you females being discovered. K’hedduk will torture the truth out of you one way or another.”

“Point taken,” said Rezac.

J’korrash and Schiya exchanged a look. “Our father gave us poison to take if need be,” said Schiya quietly.

Kusac looked bleakly at them. “I can’t advise you on that,” he said. “I can only promise that if you’re taken, we’ll get you back as soon as possible.”

“We know that, Captain,” said J’korrash. “We’ll just make sure it doesn’t happen.”

Kaid walked over to them. “That’s the weather station staff prepped,” he said. “How’re you doing?”

Rezac pulled a face. “Getting there. Remind me to train every day in future.”

Kaid laughed, slapping him on the shoulder. “Time you changed focus,” he said. “I want you breaking down weapons and getting into your battle armor. You need to practice other forms of dexterity to make sure you have full control of those new bodies. How are you coping with the heat?”

“I don’t have much of a problem,” said Kusac. “Maybe because I’m fitter. I don’t sweat, but there must be a point at which it gets too hot even for you,” he added, looking over to J’korrash.

“We radiate heat,” said J’korrash. “When it gets too much, we have to stop and seek the shade or water, but our tolerance is higher than yours.”

“Heat isn’t going to be the problem,” said Kaid. “Cold is. Unfortunately we don’t have a way to train you two for that, so you’ll have to let J’korrash and Schiya monitor you when we’re on M’zull.”

Kusac nodded. “Will do. Meanwhile, if we’re going to be stripping and reassembling weapons, I need these nails shortened.” He held his hands out for Kaid to see. “The nails are too long.”

J’korrash took a hand and inspected them. “Only by a little,” she said, letting him go. “We put together a set of toilet needs for you, Captain, and Rezac, which included nail clippers and files. It should be in your personal bags. If your fingernails need doing, you better check your feet as well. Nothing more uncomfortable than having your nails hit the end of your boots.”