Shielder — A new Science Fiction Romance (Book 1, Shielder Series) (23 page)

"I want to apologize for my aggressive
physical behavior toward you. I realize I took advantage of your
emotional state the first time we mated. That should never have
happened. But more unforgivable was the second time, since you made
it quite clear you had no desire to repeat the experience. That
night in my cabin, I was not …" he paused and cleared his throat,
"… thinking clearly, and I wasn't aware of your reluctance."

Mystified, she tried to grasp his meaning.
She realized he was talking about the two times they'd mated, but
he made no sense. She hadn't been aware of expressing any
reluctance to mate with him. At least, not until she thought he
expected it because she owed him.

True, she'd been fearful, of the pain and
exposing her scarred body, but not unwilling. She hadn't even
thought of resisting, especially during the heated frenzy Chase's
touch had triggered. But he didn't need to know that.

He blew out his breath and leaned forward.
"Nessa, I never intended to obligate you sexually in any way. I
know I said you owed me whatever I wanted, but that didn't mean I
expected you to mate with me against your will. I wouldn't demand
that of anyone, not even in payment of a debt. I said some foolish
things in anger. I apologize."

She mentally reviewed his words. He had just
told her he hadn't expected her to mate with him, unless she chose
to. But if he didn't think it her duty, and if he didn't find her
appealing, why would he even approach her? Shock prompted her to
blurt, "Then why?"

He shook his head. "Why what?"

Chagrined by her impulsive question, she
looked away.

"Tell me, Nessa."

She needed to control her reactions better.
Questions still burned in her mind, but she didn't really want to
delve into Chase's reasons for mating with her. She had no desire
to risk further humiliation or reminders of her lack of appeal. She
rotated her seat away. "It doesn't matter, Captain. There's nothing
to apologize for. I'm not upset about what happened."

A long moment of silence hung between them
before Chase said, "All right, then. There's something else I need
to tell you."

His voice held the tone that had alarmed her
earlier. Nessa pivoted around. He sat back in his seat, watching
her. "I might as well inform you directly, since you always
discover our destination on your own. We're no longer headed for
Star Base Intrepid."

She felt as though the breath had been
knocked from her body. No! So little time remained. "You can't do
that!" she gasped, rising from her chair. "I have to get to
Intrepid. I have to!"

Chase's eyes took on the cold, distant look
she both dreaded and hated. "I must go to Odera on urgent business.
Not that I have to explain my decisions to you."

Shaking, she came around the console to the
side of his chair. "What about my business? It's urgent, too. And
you gave your word. Several times now."

His face hardened into a mask of
determination. "My business can't wait."

Her heart threatened to burst through her
chest. "Neither can mine."

"I've checked the date of your eclipse on
Zirak. It's not for ten days yet. We'll arrive at Odera tomorrow,
and depart within one ship cycle. Three days to Intrepid, four days
from there to Zirak. You'll make it, just as I promised. Assuming
you can purchase passage."

That would get her to Zirak in nine days.
Then she still had to get to Santerra, another two days. She
grabbed Chase's arm. "I must be there sooner, to prepare for the
ceremony."

His icy gaze bored through her. "Sorry. I
can't get you there any sooner."

She tightened her grip on his arm. "But why?
What is so pressing you can't take me to Intrepid first?"

He pried her hand off his arm. "It's not
your concern, or your place to ask. I won't have my actions
questioned. You're dismissed from the cockpit."

He stood, towering over her. "Go on."

Nessa dug her nails into her hand to resist
the urge to grab him again. "Captain, please! You don't
understand."

"What don't I understand?"

She saw no compassion or gentleness in his
eyes, only a fathomless wall of indifference. The eyes of a
shadower. Predator of all Shielders. She couldn't reveal the truth
to him. Not even after all the intimacies between them; not even
after his tender care of the children.

For ten seasons, she'd endured the bitter
lash of betrayal from her own people. How much swifter and harsher
would the treachery be at the hands of a shadower? Especially a
shadower under the influence of Controller indoctrination.

"You don't understand honor," she
retorted.

Rage flickered in his eyes. "Honor? You
question my honor—you, who lied to me on at least two occasions?
You, who refused to obey orders? You have a lot to learn about
honor, lady. Leave the cockpit. Now."

She fled to the corridor, leaning against
the wall to catch her breath. A sense of doom threatened to
suffocate her. She wasn't going to make it to Santerra in time. Not
only would she suffer a hideous death, but her failure could result
in the annihilation of her people. Unless she came up with another
solution quickly, one that would enable her to travel directly to
Santerra without further delay.

Unless …

She hijacked Chase's ship while he was on
Odera tomorrow.

Nessa paused outside Chase's cabin and
nervously smoothed her robe. She didn't have to go through with it.
She could still change her mind.

Oh, but she wanted this.

She wanted to feel the sensual excitement
Chase roused when he kissed her, when he touched her. Wanted to
again enjoy the incredible explosion of pleasure she'd experienced
in the shower. A part of her felt mortified at these wanton
urgings, while another part of her longed for one last time in
Chase's arms.

After tomorrow, she'd never again have that
opportunity. Even if she arrived at Santerra in time, and survived
the Orana, she wasn't foolish enough to expect any man to be
interested in her.

But Chase had mated with her twice and
apparently had planned to a third time. He had been willing to join
his body with hers, even if strictly out of sexual need.

She'd replayed the odd conversation with him
today over and over in her mind, yet didn't really understand what
he'd been trying to say. So he might well reject her tonight.

But still…this could well be her last chance
to experience mating. Taking a deep breath, Nessa sounded the panel
tone.

"Come in."

Her hand shaking, she punched the pad and
the panel slid open. Chase lounged back in his chair, a scanner
line moving down the rows of words on the monitor before him. He
glanced up and his hand froze on the scanner control. He stared a
long moment, taking in her robe. Tension radiated from him. "What
do you want?"

Spirit, what do I say?
Forcing air
into her constricted chest, she stepped into the room.

"I want…" She paused, desperately seeking
the right words. Her heart pounded in her chest, reverberating into
her head. Licking her dry lips, she tried again. "I'm here to …"
Failing miserably, she released a frustrated sigh.

Chase came out of the chair. "What is it? Is
something wrong? Are the children all right?"

"Everything's fine," she assured him
hastily. "The children are asleep, and—well…"

It was no good. She had no appeal, no
seduction skills. Helplessly, she stared at him. He had gone
utterly still, watching her with an intensity that both frightened
and excited her. "Why are you here, Nessa?"

She reached deep for her lagging courage.
"To be with you." Her voice shook.

"To be with me? What exactly does that
mean?"

Best to say it outright. "I want to mate
with you."

His eyes flared, then narrowed. "I told you
today I don't expect or demand sexual favors. Go back to your
cabin."

In spite of her pride being rapidly
shredded, she pushed on. "I understand that. I'm here because I
want
to mate with you."

She took a step closer, and his whole body
tensed. He grasped her shoulders moving her back. "This won't
change my mind about Odera."

He hadn't rejected her outright—at least,
not yet. Reaching up, she slid a trembling hand down the seam of
his flightsuit, opening it to his waist. "I'm not trying to change
your mind about anything."

He removed her hand. "Then
why
are
you here? You've made your distaste for mating quite clear."

With startling insight, Nessa realized Chase
doubted her desire for him. He saw her inexperienced attempts at
seduction only as ploys to get his cooperation. In an odd way, he
needed reassurance just as much as she did. That knowledge gave her
a surge of confidence.

Feeling a heady boldness, she moved closer.
"I
do
like mating."

Bravely, she parted the seam edges of
Chase's flightsuit, her breath hitching at sight of his magnificent
bare chest. She slid her palm over his breast, savoring the heat
and the increasing beat of his heart. "I want to do it again."

He drew a shuddering breath. "You're playing
with fire, lady."

Her breathing stopped entirely, and a heated
rush flowed through her veins, pooling low in her belly. Wicked
desires, fueled by mental images of the Pleasure Domes, lured her
to press her lips against his chest. "I'm not afraid of fire," she
whispered.

Beneath her mouth, his heart pounded
fiercely, as a new tension seemed to radiate from him. Grasping her
chin, he tilted her face up. "This is not a game," he said roughly.
"If you stay, it will be on my terms."

His harsh voice only served to heighten the
desire twining through her body. "Terms?"

"You'll be completely mine tonight. You'll
give yourself freely. No pretenses, no false modesty. And you'll
stay with me until morning. No running away."

She should be frightened by his words, by
the ultrapredatory expression in his eyes. But, Spirit help her,
she only wanted him more. A growing feminine perception led her to
the realization that mating, like anything else in life, should be
give and take. "What about
my
terms?"

His hand moved from her chin, threading
through her hair and tilting her head back further. "Your
terms?"

She pressed both palms against his chest.
His skin felt tantalizingly smooth and warm. "I'll do what you
want, but in return, you'll have to give yourself freely to
me."

The lines of his face sharpened as his
burning scrutiny bored into her very soul. Releasing her head, he
took her hand and slid it down over his erection. "Then finish what
you've started."

The feel of him through the flightsuit
momentarily distracted Nessa from her own rising passions. Amazed,
she explored the hardness of him. "How does it get so big? Does it
hurt?"

"Sweet Spirit have mercy," Chase groaned,
pushing against her hand. "Let's save the biology lesson for
later." He released the seam of her robe, running his finger down
to where the seam ended, right at her belly button. Slipping his
hand beneath the fabric, he slid it along her belly, then lower.
Nessa gasped and grabbed his arms, her legs threatening to
buckle.

"So you like mating, do you?" His free hand
worked the robe off her shoulders.

She tried to gather her scattered thoughts
as he withdrew his hand from between her legs. "Y-yes."

"Let go of me for a minute," he said,
tugging on the robe. She did and the robe slid off her arms, and
down her body, into a silky pool at her feet. "Now step out of
it."

Nessa did as he commanded. The cool air
swept over her heated skin, almost painful against her hardening
nipples. But then Chase's hands were there, cupping her breasts and
making her forget completely about being cold.

He backed her toward the bunk and tumbled
her onto it. Finding herself sprawled across the mat in a very
exposed position, she struggled to get up, but he stopped her with
his hand against her shoulder. "No. Don't move. I like looking at
you."

Feeling vulnerable, she sank back. He peeled
off his flightsuit, all the while staring at her body. Unable to
look away, she stared back. He was large and powerful all over, but
her first good look at his penis drew her attention. Amazed by its
size, she remembered the pain of the previous joinings, and alarm
reared inside her.

Chase sat on the edge of the bunk, running
his hands along her thighs. He parted them, ignoring her automatic
resistance, his attention focused on her most private part. A
heated flush spreading across her face, she tried to close her
thighs, but he tightened his grip. "Don't. You shouldn't be
embarrassed, Nessa. You're beautiful all over."

He leaned down, kissing her injured thigh,
gently moving his mouth over her scar. Appalled, she battled the
futile urge to yank the cover over that hated scar, to hide its
ugliness from Chase. But then his lips moved higher, and logical
thoughts evaporated. His hair fell in a golden veil over her leg
and abdomen, whispering sensations through her body.

His breath scathingly close to her female
core startled her, and she jerked against him. "All right, little
innocent." With a frustrated groan, Chase raised up. "No sense
shocking you too much at once. Perhaps later."

Crawling onto the bunk, he stroked his hands
up her abdomen and claimed her breasts, teasing the nipples with
his thumb. "So soft," he murmured. "So perfect."

His husky words were as potent as his touch.
Desire careened through her, so intense, Nessa let out a little
cry. She twisted toward him, grasping his shoulders as an
anchor.

He settled beside her, pulling her close.
She pressed against him, feeling less exposed and blessedly safe.
Cupping her face up to his, he kissed her, deeply and thoroughly.
She could do this all night, she thought, savoring his taste, the
suggestive feel of his tongue stroking hers. She was disappointed
when his mouth left hers, but only momentarily. His lips moved to
her chin, her neck, her collarbone, the slope of her breast. His
mouth hovered there. "I intend to find out," he whispered, his
breath sending rippling chills across her skin, "exactly what it is
you like so much about mating."