Splintered Lives (13 page)

Simon’s eyes light up when he sees David and he lifts his arms for a hug.

“Hello little fellow.” David smiles as he lifts Simon up and gives him his hug.

Mary is astonished at this and she takes to David immediately.

“I’m Sarah’s mother.” Mary introduces herself.

“Lovely to meet you.”
 
David replies as he hands back the little boy to his grandma.

Sarah comes into the room ready for the outing.
 
She is wearing the outfit she wore for the wedding and looks lovely with a light in her eye her mother has not seen, for a long time.
  

“I see that you two have met.”
 
She says.” We won’t be late mum, see you later.”

“Don’t hurry home love, you know how I enjoy any time with Simon.” Mary calls after them.

David smiles as he opens the door of his car for her.
 
He has booked a table at a restaurant a few miles away that has a reputation for good food and wine.
 
They are shown to their table and the waiter draws out a chair for Sarah.

At the next table one of David’s friends from work touches his arm to greet him.

“Hi David, how’s things?” “You’re looking smart tonight. Are you going to introduce me to your lovely friend?”

“This is Sarah, someone I met at college years ago.”

“This is my wife, Joyce,” his friend, whose name is Brian says, as he introduces his wife to them.
 
“Well enjoy your meal, we are just going, lovely to see you both.”

They wave as they leave the restaurant.

“Brian is a colleague at work, he teaches in my department, he is very

 
genuine, and easy to get along with.” David says.
 
“Now let’s order.”

The meal is wonderful.
 
They are too full to have a sweet but they take their coffee in the lounge overlooking the garden.

They reminisce about the time they were friends at college and laugh at some of their memories.
 
David fills in his time since then, and the time before, when he worked as a civil engineer and travelled the world.
 
He has stories of the people he met and the places where he worked.

Sarah talks again about her time in
Nepal
and the feelings she had for the ordinary villagers and their daily hardships.
 
The care they showed for each other and the lovely children she taught.

When David looks at his watch, it’s too late to take in a film so they walk by the river and Sarah holds his arm and it feels like they are a couple.

“Thank you for a lovely evening, David.” She says.
 
He turns towards her and takes her in his arms and gently kisses her lips.
 
Sarah thinks,

I feel a stirring of my feelings and I see Taj as David bends his head.
 
I feel guilt as though I am betraying my love for Taj.

“I must be going, it’s getting late.” Sarah says.
 
David gently takes her hand and guides her to his car.
 
Sarah wonders and thinks,
 

I feel some awkwardness I have never felt with David before, I know that I am not ready for an intimate relationship, but I don’t want to lose David’s friendship.

They travel home in silence.
 
When he drops Sarah off, she leans over and plants a kiss on his cheek, and thanks him once again for a lovely time.

Chapter 19

I snuggle down in bed after seeing my mother off and peeping in to see Simon.
 
David is foremost on my mind.
 
I did feel a stirring attraction for him and my body was aroused when he kissed me.
 
It’s been over four years since I lost Taj, and I’m still young enough to start again.
 
But I feel guilty of the yearnings of my body, and my lovely memories of the lovemaking I had with Taj.
 
But David is such a lovely character, and he is so good with Simon, I don’t want to loose his friendship.

I’m so confused that I can’t sleep.
 
I creep downstairs quietly and make myself a cup of tea.

I try to sort out my feelings for David and I know that I love and respect him because he is such a lovely man. I remember having these feeling for him when we were at college.
 
I knew he would be the best of us in his future career and the caring ways he showed to us, helping with our difficult studies and the way he took to teaching, caring for his students.
 
I just hope that I have not hurt his feelings by almost rejecting him. I decide I will ring him in the morning and try to repair any damage I may have done.

The following day is lovely.
 
Simon is lively and I have no time to worry about anything.
 
My mother turns up as we are having breakfast and suggests that we all have a day out somewhere special.
 
Dad is having some holiday days off work, and she has packed a picnic for all of us.
 
Dad is taking us on a mystery trip, but by the direction he is taking us, I’m thinking it may be the
Lake District
.

It’s only just over an hour’s drive from home and it is the favourite place of all the family.
 

My father opens the roof and windows when we leave the motorway and the summer breeze feels lovely on our faces.
 
We park at Tarn Haws and Dad carries the picnic basket to the side of the tarn.
 
We all carry a chair each, a small one for Simon, and settle down to watch the swimmers in the water. The sun is really hot and we spread sun cream first, over Simon, and then ourselves.
 
Simon loves his sun hat and we have a hearty lunch from the basket.
 
I know my dad loves to swim and in no time at all, he is under his towel, struggling into his swimming trunks.
 

I have brought Simon’s little trunks and he wants to follow dad into the water.
 
I persuade him to wait until dad has had a swim, and take him in myself for a paddle.
 
He shrieks with laughter as he splashes me and I splash him back.
 
He loves the water.
 
I sometimes take him to the swimming baths and he has a good idea what to do in his armbands.
 
There is an island in the middle of the tarn and my father always swims there and back.
 
He is a strong swimmer and I remember when I was a little girl, crying because I thought he could not get back.
 
He is now returned to the shore and he is ready to play with Simon.
 
I leave them together and return to where my mother is sitting watching us.
 

“How was your date last night?” She asks.

“Fine.” I say non -committedly.

“Oh I think David is very attractive and how great he is with Simon.” My mother continues

“You’re just fishing,” I say “but I am confused about my feelings for David. I do love and respect him but I do not feel ready to have a relationship yet until Simon is older.”

“I think Simon needs a father figure and David seems to be his idol.
 
He was telling me last night how he loved the visit to the house by the reservoir.
 
All about the birds and the baby grebes and the duck that waddles its tail.”
 
My mother says laughingly.

“I know I have to consider Simon but I have to be sure of my own feelings for David.
 
He doesn’t deserve to be second best and my memories of Taj still disturbing my dreams.”
 
I reply

 
“You can’t live in the past, you are lucky to have someone who is living and caring, especially how perfect he is with Simon.”

“I know mum and I mean to ring him tonight to make another date, so I’ll let you know how I get on.”

Chapter 20

Dad and Simon are on the horizon, coming from the shore to our place in the sun.
 
Simon is chatting away to his granddad, pointing out something of interest

Simon has seen.

When we return home, dad carries Simon into the house as he has fallen asleep in the car.
  
We have had a hearty meal on our way home and Simon is ready for bed.
 
I undress him gently and after putting him in his pyjamas take him to his bed.
 
Thinking
  
“He can have his bath in the morning for once.”

I go downstairs and open a bottle of red wine for the three of us.
  
We settle on my settee and comfortably enjoy the warm feeling our day in the sun has given us.

“Simon is a dream of a boy.” Says my father.
 
“I wish I could have met his father.”

“It has been too painful,”
 
“But I think I should perhaps tell Simon about him, what do you think?”

“I think you should tell us about him, and then we can answer any questions that Simon may ask us, after you bring the subject up.”

“Dad and mum, I love you both so much but I have been so sad at the loss of Taj, and I have been feeling so guilty about my friendship with David, that I don’t know what to think or do.”

“Come on love, you know that we will support you and Simon, whatever you want to do.” Replies dad.

“I am confused how to tell Simon that his father came from a far place, a place where I was wonderfully happy and fulfilled.
 
That he has grandparents and aunts he knows nothing about.”

“I honestly don’t know how to tell him because I also feel guilty about him not knowing the culture his father was born into.”

I think I should get Mark to help me tell him because he knew Taj and he liked him a lot.”

“Why don’t you explain to us the feeling you had for Taj and then you may find a way to explain it to Simon?”
 
My mother says with a gentle smile on her lovely face.

“You know how you found me when you came to fetch me home.”
 
I reply.
 
“I have been afraid to think about my lost love, because I have to be strong for Simon.”
  

“Well, I think that you should work through those feelings before you can move on, either to tell Simon about his father, or to think about having a relationship with David.”
 
My father says.

“But how?” I whisper, as my throat is so full of emotion that I can hardly speak.

“Let it out love”. My father moves towards me on the settee and I feel his arms around me.
 
My mother moves to my other side, as I collapse into heartbreaking sobs.
 
I feel their love and caring as I cry and cry and when at last I recover myself the relief of the unburdening, leaves me exhausted but calmer.