Stages of Grace (17 page)

Even after all of my purging, I’m worried not everything will fit in my car. Ryan promises that his packing skills are legendary. I hope he’s right. On my last day of work, they have a luncheon in my honor. Kim, awesome boss that she is, lets me cut out early afterward. Nikita sniffles as she walks me to my car.

"You're still coming over tomorrow morning, right?"

"Yes. I just can't believe we don’t work together anymore."

I haven’t said anything about Ryan being gorgeous. Nikita only knows a friend of my grandmother is flying up to help me with the move, but that is all. I'm looking forward to seeing Nikita’s reaction when she sees Ryan.

"I know. Feels really weird being unemployed," I grimace, still feeling a bit crazy for leaving a good job."You'll find something in no time. Besides, I saw the letter of recommendation Kim wrote for you. Any place that reads it would be crazy not to hire you."

"It really sucked saying goodbye to her."

"Is she coming by tomorrow too?"

"She can't."

"Alright.
Give me a hug."

I give Nikita a hug and head home. As I cross the river, I tear up a little bit, saying goodbye to my parents. Since Kim let me leave early, I have enough time to change out of my scrubs and straighten the apartment up a bit before I have to go get Ryan. I feel silly organizing the crates and bags, wondering why I am wasting my time trying to organize a pile. Getting antsy, I leave for the airport. I’m thirty minutes early and circle the parking lot a few times, wanting to find a good spot. Ryan is in for a rude awakening weather wise. It's very cold and sleeting. I have an extra hat in my pocket for him, if he needs it.

He hadn't planned on bringing much, knowing that space in my car will be at a premium. I manage to nab a great spot near an entrance. I check my hair and makeup before getting out of the car. The gesture, at least for my hair, ends up being pointless since I put my hood up once I’m out of the car. Going to stand by the security checkpoint, I check Ryan's flight to see if it is still on time.

I lean up against a wall and fidget as I watch passengers filing out in all directions. I try to look at every face as they pass, but there are
way more of them than there are of me. Ryan sees me first.

"Hullo!"

I look around, trying to place where his greeting is coming from when he's suddenly right in front of me, pulling me into a hug.

"Well, you're a sight for sore eyes."

I laugh. "Long flight?

Ryan nods, not letting me go. I swat him on the arm. "Can I take you out for a burger?"

He just nods and grins down at me. Ryan only has a small duffle bag so we head straight to my car. Before we get outside, I stop him to see if he’s brought a hat. He hasn’t and is touched when I pull out a beanie for him. Once he has it on, I have to admit it looks pretty good on him. Seeing Ryan's reaction to the cold, I hurry to my car and get the heater going.

"Grace, why does my ass feel like
it’s burning?"

"Oh, sorry.
I turned on the seat heaters." I reach over to switch his to low.

"Next time warn a
fella."

"Will do
" I laugh, trying not to think about his ass.

"So where're you taking me?"

"To Swensons. Awesome burger, but it’s a drive in. Do you want to eat there or bring the food back to my place?"

"Can we take it back to your place?"

Once we have our food, I drive home. It’s weird to think that after tomorrow I won't be able to call it that anymore. I warn him to watch his step on the way up the stairs. Ryan does fine. I slip twice. Damn stairs. Once inside, I give him a quick tour: pile of stuff, empty room, empty room, air mattress, kitchen, and bathroom. Ryan laughs at my descriptions, and after setting his bag down, goes to the bathroom. I unpack our food onto the kitchen counter, grab a roll of paper towels, and make a picnic for us in front of the TV. I am switching on the news to get the next day's weather when Ryan walks out.

He pulls off his beanie as he walks into the front room, making his hair go crazy. He looks at me in confusion as I bring my hand up to my mouth to keep from laughing. Walking over I finger comb his hair back down as he looks down at me. Whoa. I take a step back, almost knocking over my drink to put some space back between us. Ryan notices my reaction and gives
me a half smile as he sits down to eat.

I turn the volume up so I can hear the weather forecast. It will be cold but clear the next day. Our goal, depending on how long it takes to get everything in my car and do the final walk through of the apartment, is to get to West Virginia, maybe even Virginia, that day. I sit, turning the volume back down.

"You like?" I ask Ryan between bites.

His mouth is full so he nods enthusiastically while I snag another onion ring.

"Does Kate have a grill?"

Ryan finishes the bite he is chewing before answering. "She does."

"We should make burgers one night."

"Great idea.
Maybe we'll even get artichokes for you to put on top."

I blush, happy that he remembers. After we eat, he calls Kate to let her know he arrived safely, well best he can. He shakes his head when he hangs up the phone mumbling something about her needing a hearing aid. We watch TV until I suggest we get some sleep before the long day ahead. I bring out one of the pillows from my room and an old sleeping bag for Ryan to use.

"Are you sure you don’t want the air mattress? I feel awful making you sleep on the floor."

He shakes his head.
"Don’t worry, Grace. One night won't hurt me. I'll just pretend I'm camping."

"Do you like to camp?"

"I do, but I like most outdoor activities. You?"

"It's been a while. I used to camp with my dad."

After we trade goodnights I go to bed. I take forever to fall asleep, my stomach in knots as I think about leaving everything I've ever known. I wake before my alarm, Ryan is still sleeping so I shower. Refreshed, I step out wrapped in a towel, startled to find Ryan standing at the door.

"Bah!"

"Whoa, um, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. Just, well, nature calls."

"Of course.
Right. I'm sorry." I keep a tight grip on my towel as I brush past Ryan on the way to my bedroom. I notice he takes his time going into the bathroom and shutting the door for someone who has to go. I get dressed and drape my towel over the now empty rod in my closet, hoping it will be dry enough to pack in an hour or so. I pack a small bag of items that I'll need changes of clothes, most of my toiletries, and cell phone charger. This bag and Ryan's duffle will be the last items we pack. I leave my hair down to dry and unplug the stopper from the mattress so it can deflate before walking into the front room.

Ryan is looking out the window into the courtyard, stretching with his arms over his head. It makes his shirt lift up as well so I see the waistband of his briefs and some of his tanned back. As though he can sense me, Ryan turns. I flush and look at my toes, wiggling them for good measure. Locating socks had been my plan when I walked out into the front room. Finding where I packed them, I pull a thick pair to go under my boots and two pairs to go in my duffle. We both turn when there is a knock on the door.

"That'll be Nikita. I hope you like bagels."

I pull open the door, and am surprised to see
it's Jon, not Nikita, who stands there.

"Jon."

"Hi, Grace." He stops when he sees Ryan in the room behind me. He looks at me and then at Ryan again before continuing. "I wanted to see you before you left."

"Did you want to come in?"

"If you're busy I can take off."

"No, not at all.
Come in. Jon, this is Ryan. He's a friend of my grandmother's."

Ryan tips his head in Jon's direction and then turns to me "Should I go roll up the air mattress?"

Jon's eyes widen. What is he thinking? "Um, sure. That'd be great. Thanks."

Once Ryan leaves the room, Jon asks. "Did he sleep here?"

"Yeah. He’s driving down with me to Florida."

He looks like he is going to say something but turns and seems intent on examining the light switch.

"So how's the new place?"

"I miss you."

What? I stare at him. "But you said—"

Before he can answer, there is a loud boom at the door. I hurry to open it and find Nikita with her arms full.

"Did you kick the door?" I ask, taking the cardboard coffee carrier from her.

"No hands."

"Okay, well, thanks for coming. It is so sweet of you to help and to bring breakfast."

"No worries. I got a bunch of bagels so you all don’t have to stop for lunch if you don’t want to."

"Do I smell coffee?" Ryan walks out from my bedroom, and Nikita's mouth drops open. Jon notices her reaction and walks over to the window.

"Yep.
This is Nikita. She brought coffee and bagels."

"Hi, Nikita.
I'm Ryan, a friend of Grace's."

Jon stiffens when he hears Ryan say that he is my friend and not my grandmother's.

"Well, why don’t you and Nikita each grab a bagel? I’m just going to talk with Jon. Um, Jon did you want to…" I motion towards our old room.

Jon hesitates but follows me, I turn back to see Ryan watching us before I walk into the room. Jon shuts the door behind him. The room is basically empty, except for the rolled up air mattress and the bedding that had been on it. I walk over to the room's one window and lean on the sill. Jon leans against the door and looks up at the ceiling.

"It feels weird that you're leaving."

"It feels weird for me too."

"Part of me doesn’t want you to go."

Part of you?
I close my eyes in an attempt to aid my mind in processing what he has just said.

"I know I told you that you should go, and I still think you should. You have family there. I'll just miss you."

I blink my eyes before a tear can escape. I want to speak but don’t trust my voice. Instead, I curl my fingers into a fist and bring my hand to rest on my mouth while I compose myself. When my eyes open, I know that Jon is watching me, waiting for me to respond."I didn’t think you cared anymore." I’m unable to keep my voice from breaking at the end.

Jon hurries over to me and pulls me into a familiar, though long absent, hug.

"I'll always care about you, Grace."

I nod my head against his chest.

"I just wanted to come tell you that." He slowly releases me, gently wiping a stray tear from my cheek.

"That means so much to me."

"So that guy?" He nods toward the door.

"Ryan?"

He looks at the floor. "Are you two?"

"What? No
" I say quickly, too quickly.

Jon looks at me like there is something else he wants to say before turning toward the door. "I should go."

"You don’t have to."

"I don’t want to get in the way. Will you call me, when you get to Florida?"

I don't know what else to say. "I can do that."

I walk him to the front room, giving him one last hug before he leaves. Afterward, when I turn to face Ryan and Nikita, I notice their expressions. Ryan looks wary, like he isn’t sure what to do and Nikita looks concerned, worried Jon's visit may have upset me.

"Have you guys eaten yet?"

They both nod and I help myself to a cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. Holding half of my bagel in one hand, I grab a small box and head towards my car, taking bites as I make my way down the stairs. My car keys are in my pocket so I inhale the rest of my bagel to grab them. I pop the trunk and set
the box inside. Ryan and Nikita are right behind me with more boxes. We are able to fill every single spare inch of space in my trunk before moving on to the back seat. The TV goes in first, its screen facing the backseat, and boxes and bags stacked behind it. The last couple of boxes and our duffle bags prove to be somewhat of an issue.

One bag eventually ends up in the foot area of the front passenger seat, and the other rests on top of the middle console. As Nikita and Ryan do a final sweep, I walk over to the leasing office to get someone to do a final walk through. The extra leasing agent is showing an apartment so I have to wait a couple minutes before someone can help me. When I get back to the apartment, I see Nikita and Ryan trying to figure out how to fit the rolled up air mattress in the car.

"Don’t worry about it. Nikita, do you want it? If you don’t, we can just toss it."

"I don’t really need an air mattress," Nikita says, crinkling her nose.

"I could use one," the leasing agent ventures.

I think about it for a moment. "If I pass the walk through, you can have it."

"Well, let's take a look."

I follow the leasing agent through each room. I'm not worried about her finding anything wrong. It's not like Jon or I had put any holes in the walls or stained the carpet. Once the inspection is complete, and I’m given my carbon copy of no issues found form I hand the air mattress over. Then Nikita surprises me by getting teary again.