Steele (7 page)

She was leaving him. That was all his mind could figure out. She was going to leave him, and what would he do then? As they stood up to leave the dining room, he felt as if his feet were covered in lead, his body drenched in dread. Not because they were going to make love in the bed—and they would, he was sure—but because she was making plans to leave him. By the time they were at their door, he felt his anger toward what she was doing explode all over him.

“You’re not leaving until I say you can.” She stared at him for a full five seconds before she laughed. “I’m not kidding. When I say I’m ready for you to leave me, then you can go. I don’t mind that you have a job, but you’ll not be leaving me to find another place to live.”

“And that is it then? You’re in charge of this…this…whatever the hell this is, and I’m to simply do as you wish because you want it your way? How old are you? Ten? Because I’m pretty sure that’s how a ten-year-old would think. A spoiled little boy who isn’t going to get his way.” She stomped to him and he backed up. He could see the cat. She ran over her skin like she was going to take her at any second. “I’m not going to live with you any longer than I have to. You made the rules. You didn’t want me in your house any longer than necessary. You said that to me. And now that I’m doing what I want, you get your fucking panties in a twist over it? Well, fuck you.”

“I’ve changed my mind. And I’m not spoiled.” But even to his ears he sounded like he was. “You don’t need a job and if you’d let me, I’d give you whatever clothing you want. I left you money to buy things, and Izzy said it was still on your dresser.”

“You paid me like a whore.” He staggered back from her words. “You fucked me and left money on the dresser like I was nothing more than a common whore. What will I get for the fuck in the limo, Steele? A bracelet that I’ll never wear? Perhaps it was worth a bed and breakfast stay for the poor little whore. Is that why we’re here? As a payment?”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” She moved away from him, and he reached for her. He had to make her understand. But the moment he touched her, an arch of electricity shot out from his fingers and knocked her back. Before he could get to her, Kari was gone and her cat, a big fucking panther, was snarling at him.

“Kari? Please come back to me.” She snarled again, this time swiping her paw at him. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to piss you off. And I never meant to treat you like a whore. I only meant to give you some money to spend on yourself.”

You fucking bastard.
He fell backwards when she spoke to him in his mind.
You only meant for me to spend it on myself? How is that any less like treating me like a whore?

“You spoke to me.” He watched her. “Could you do this all along? Could you have spoken to me whenever you wanted?”

So?
He hurt. Steele had no idea why, but it hurt him that she’d shut herself off from him. He supposed no more than he had her.
What do you care? I can talk to anyone I have sexual contact with. So don’t think you’re all that special.

Steele stood up. He was crushed. His entire body was feeling the weight of her words, what they meant. He was nothing to her…less than nothing. And right then Steele knew that he loved her.

“I’ve messed this up so badly.” The cat didn’t move, but she was no longer snarling at him. “I have…I’d very much like…. When you leave here, I won’t stop you from leaving. You’re right. I’m nothing but a bastard. Worse than a bastard, I’m my father.”

He left her then…walked out the door without a backward look. He had no idea if she’d stay or not, and reached for his phone to call Chad. After making arrangements to have her picked up whenever she was ready, he called Izzy.

“Kari and I are calling it quits.” She asked him why he’d do that. “She needs to be on her own, and I need to let her go. We’re no good for each other, and we’re tearing…I’m tearing her apart.”

“Do you love her?” He sobbed out his answer as he rode to another hotel. “She loves you as well, Steele. Make it work. Come back with her and the two of you work it out.”

“No. I’m….” He watched the buildings go by and he thought of what he’d done to her. “I’m certainly my father’s son. I won’t…I’d never hurt her physically, but I can’t continue to hurt her mentally either. Or verbally. I’m a bastard and a prick, just as she said I was.”

“You are nothing like your father. You’re a wonderful person who was hurt terribly as a young man, and you let it rule your life.” He laughed without humor. “You think it’s been easy watching you grow up like this? To see you go deeper and deeper into the depression you’ve let yourself fall into? That woman was the best thing that ever happened to you, and you’re letting her go. Why? Because you got your feelings hurt? What would Aster say to you?”

“She’d tell me to stop being an idiot and go after her.” He could almost, even after all these years, hear her say it to him. “But she’s not here and Kari needs to be free. Maybe then she’ll eat better and get some rest. I saw her. She’s too thin and I did that to her.” Steele ended the call before she could tell him he was right.

Steele called the driver and asked him to take him to the shop again rather than to another hotel. Steele decided that he’d work. He knew that he’d never sleep, so what would be the point of even trying? As he got out of the car the driver asked him if there was anything else.

“Yes. Could you go back to the bed and breakfast and wait for Miss Briggs? She’ll be heading to the airport soon.” The driver stared at him for several seconds before nodding. As he went into the building, Steele saw three ghosts hanging around. He lowered his head, ignoring them. That was another thing he was going to do now. Get out of the business of death. He should never have gotten back into it after Aster.

He’d been doing this job now since he’d been seventeen, and he was tired of it. Not the job…the enjoyment he got from bringing some peace to people had been wonderful. But he wanted to work more on his own businesses, the ventures he’d invested in when he’d turned twenty-one and had inherited everything. He walked in to find everyone gone but Ray, and he looked as if he’d been waiting for him.

“I talked to Izzy.” He nodded and sat down and picked up the first file. “She said you and that girl are done. I suppose you think you’re doing her a favor by leaving her.”

“We are. And I am. Do you have a stack of these I could work on for a while? I’m not ready to go back to the hotel.” The files were moved away from him, and he looked at Ray. “I don’t want to do this right now. I’m sort of…I’m a little raw.”

“Yeah, being in love will do that to you.” He only nodded. “So you finally figured it out, did you? That you love her? Took you fucking long enough. What did she say when you told her?”

“I didn’t tell her anything. What would be the point? I’m no good to her any more than I am to myself.” He reached for a file and it was moved again. “Look, you can tell me how you were right all along. How much of a bastard I was, compare me to my father. I’ve certainly done enough of that today. But right now I’m in no mood for you to do it. Tomorrow will be better.”

“You’ll never be ready for someone to tell you that you’re making the biggest mistake of your life by letting her go.” The files flopped down in front of him, but he was jerked from the chair by Ray pulling him up by his shirt front. “But you ever compare yourself to that fucking murderer again and I will take a switch to your ass. Do you understand me?”

Steele nodded. He was a grown man and all he wanted to do was to be held while he cried his eyes out. Ray pulled him to him, held him tightly until Steele felt the walls come down. He hung to the man, clung to him like he was his only hope of surviving as he sobbed out his misery. And right now, he felt like he was drowning in it. When he was finished, he was handed a box of tissues and left alone. Steele felt like he’d been given a great gift only to have had it snatched away.

“Oh Aster, what am I going to do now?”

Chapter 6

There was really no reason for her to go back to the house. She had all her things; she’d even brought her backpack. It was empty, of course, but it was rolled up in her bag. But she had the driver take her there. She wanted to say good-bye to Izzy.

“He called me to tell me you were leaving. Do you have a place to go?” She didn’t but nodded. “Don’t lie to me, child. I need to know you’re going to have a roof over your head. And that you’re not going back to that hell hole they found you in.”

“I don’t.” Izzy nodded and handed her an envelope. Kari opened it and put it back on the table when Izzy wouldn’t take it back. “I can’t take this from you. I wouldn’t let him give me anything, and I won’t you either.”

“You’ll need a first month’s rent and deposit. I know you don’t have it. And Steele will never know.” She nodded and looked at the envelope. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you, darling?”

“Yes.” She didn’t look at her as she continued. “I know that I’m not his type. I’m nobody’s type really. I’m a girl that was left on the side of a road that nobody wanted. I know now that my parents are dead, but nothing more. I’m also a panther. Who the hell wants a panther as a mate?”

“I would imagine that Steele wouldn’t mind if you were a snake. He’s in love with you too.” Kari said nothing. “You don’t believe me. You don’t have to tell me you don’t. I see it all over your face. You don’t think anyone would love you. Why?”

“I don’t believe in much of anything right now. I just needed to come and tell you how much I appreciate everything you did for me. I don’t know where I’ll be, but I’ll think of you often.” Izzy wiped at her face, and Kari felt her own tears fall. “No one has been nice to me like you have been. I don’t know what I would have done without you here all this time.”

“Don’t go, Kari. He’ll come back here and the two of you can work it out.” She shook her head and stood up, the envelope still on the table. “You’re not going to take this, are you? You’re going to make an old woman worry.”

“I’ll be fine. I’m a cat, remember? And we always land on our feet.” She failed miserably at her attempt of a joke. Kari moved toward the door and turned back. “Thank you so much for everything.”

Kari wanted to walk through the woods again, just once more to see the yard and maybe have a quick run one more time. She set her things near the garage out of the way and made her way to the little cemetery. She’d been there twice since the first time and felt comforted by it for some reason. As soon as she entered the little gate, she knew something was different. And she nearly left but for the pull she felt to the stranger’s headstone. William J. Pike.

“I will show you myself if you’d not have a hysteric.” Kari moved back from the headstone and looked around. “It’s me, child, Billy Pike.”

“I’m dreaming.” He laughed and it echoed around the little area like they were in an empty room. “You’re not real.”

“Not so much anymore. But I was at one time.” He shimmered into view, then faded again. “I need you to summon me if you don’t mind. I’ve a hankering to speak to you. So does little Aster.”

“Aster?” She looked over at the newest headstone and shivered. “What does she want with me? I don’t even know her.”

“I guess you’ll have to call her and find out.” His laughter again, and she smiled. “Ah, I’ve not lost the charming ability that set me here in the first place.”

“Why are you here? I mean, no one seems to know you. And I’m pretty sure that one of the guys has checked.” He shimmered in and out twice more. “Do you have to keep doing that? It’s kind of weird to have you fading in and out like a…like a ghost, I guess.”

“I am a ghost, dearie, and I will do it until you let me come out to play. Just say my name. All of it. And no cheating either. You know it as well as you do your own.” She had no idea what he meant and said as much to him. “Yes, you do, Kari March Briggs.”

Kari staggered back and fell against the iron fencing. She felt it bite into her back, but was focused on the two people suddenly in front of her. One she knew…there was no mistaking the lovely young woman as anyone but Steele’s sister. The other person, a woman who looked like she could command armies, stood beside her.

“You’re much prettier than I thought.” Kari looked behind her to see who Aster was talking to. “You, Kari. I mean you. Oh my, Steele must be all hot and bothered all the time with you around.”

“Hello? Did anyone think to bring me out? I’m still waiting.” Kari was dreaming. That had to be the only reason she was seeing and hearing these people. “You’re not dreaming. Open your eyes and summon me.”

“William June Pike.” The man shimmered into view and she stared at him. “How did I know who you were?”

“Why, because we know each other.” She shook her head. “We do. We never met, but I’ve been watching you for a long time.”

“No. You’re dead.” He nodded and moved closer. Her cat moved along her skin…not in a way that made her think she was going to lose her, but in a soft, comforting kind of way. “I’m not sure—”

“You’re always sure. Now listen to us. We have a lot to tell you.” Mrs. Aster sat down on her headstone and smiled as she continued. “You really are quite lovely, aren’t you? Has Steele asked you to marry him yet?”

“We’ve…we’re not seeing each other anymore.” Why she was even talking to these people she had no idea, but she wasn’t going to lie to them if they were real. “It was a mistake. We’ve both agreed on that, and I was just leaving now.”

“It was no such thing.” Aster came closer to her. “Do you wonder why you were drawn here? Why you kept coming back time and time again? Even in your dreams? We brought you here. We wanted to explain. But leaving my brother is going to hurt you both. You know that as well as we do.”

Kari started to stand, but her legs felt weighted. She wondered if either of them were doing it, but they were still in the same place. Billy laughed loudly before he soared upward.

“He’ll be back. He doesn’t get out that often.” Aster sat down beside her. “This thing with you and Steele, it can’t be over. You know that, right? Is he really going to let you leave him?”

“I’m not going to discuss this with his sister.” She laughed. “Please just tell me what you think I need to know and I have to get going. I need to find me a place to stay, and I work tomorrow. I really should have been gone by now.”

“I’m here because you summoned me.” Kari shook her head. “Not with words, but your love for Steele. I tried to tell him I’d come back someday, to make sure that the woman he found to take his heart was good enough, but he was in so much pain. I wish that I hadn’t left him like I had. I know that he still blames himself for my death.”

“Why?” Aster moved to the headstone again and that’s when Kari realized she wasn’t walking but moving through the air. “You really are here and you’re talking to me. Aren’t you?”

“Yes. You’re here because we need to talk to you.” Kari sat down. Her back pulled hard and it hurt, but she was in a surreal place and was afraid to let it end. “The day I was killed, I came back to Steele. I admitted to him that I could see, that I had the same abilities he had. I just…I never did what the others wanted of me because I saw the way that Father and Mother treated him. Mother had this grand idea that I was going to be like her. And all I wanted to do was be what I needed to be. I was going to be a simple housewife to a simple man. Have tons of children and have Steele over every week for dinner.”

“Your parents, they weren’t nice people from what I’ve heard.” Aster shook her head. “I’m assuming you know that your father is dead. And your mother is in prison?”

“I do. It’s a favorite pastime of mine to go and visit her. She is most unhappy to see me.” Aster laughed hard. “Why do you think she has gone over the deep end? I bring her people to visit her, ones that have been dead for a long time. And I bring her the women that she and father killed. The children too, when I can. It’s not nice, I know, but those poor individuals need their peace as well. As for Father, he’s getting his own sort of trouble. I’ve seen him screaming through the night once in a while, but I never try to help him. He’s getting what he deserved.”

Billy returned then, and he smiled at her. “You’re going to have to help us, dear child. I need something from you, as do Aster and Connie here. But mine…well, mine will be a bit harder to do. So we’ll get theirs finished first.”

“I didn’t say I was going to help any of you.” Aster giggled and Connie smiled. “I mean, I’m leaving here and the sooner the better. I told you, Steele and I are finished.” Her body seemed to have a mind of its own, and she tried to get herself to stand. But she was too weak and her back was hurting a great deal.

“You’re dying, did you know that?” Kari looked at Connie when she spoke. “Soon, too, if you don’t get what you need. I have panther friends here and they are very worried for you. They said that the way you and Steele have been keeping parts of yourself from each other is killing you.”

“I’m fine. I’ve been under a great deal of stress and I’ve lost a few pounds. Once I get out of here, I’ll be fine and dandy.” Kari wanted to look away from Connie, who shook her head sadly, but she couldn’t. “What are they saying is wrong with me?”

“You need Steele to complete you.” Kari’s face heated up, and she looked away. “He’s not let you mark him, has he? He’s not allowed your cat to take any of his blood? Or has he marked you either? They said that your cat is dying and with her, you are too. What do you suppose is going to happen to him if you die, my dear?”

“He’ll be better off. And don’t tell me he won’t, either. You’ve not heard the way he speaks of us being together. He doesn’t want me. I don’t want him to mark me if he doesn’t want to.” Kari knew Connie was right. Her cat was ill, and she wasn’t getting any better. But right now Kari didn’t care if either of them got better. “He’s got his reasons.”

“He thinks that to claim you or you to claim him will mean that he will lose you much as he did me. That you’ll die simply because he loves you.” Aster stood over her own grave looking down at it as she continued. “He lost so much in such a short amount of time. And now…well, now he’s going to lose you as well, isn’t he?”

“He never wanted me.” Which, as true as it was, still felt like a spike to the heart. “He wants me to leave him so that he can get on with his life. He’ll be okay once I do. Both of us will.”

“He’ll never be okay again if you leave him. In death or out the door, as you are doing now.” Kari moved again, trying to adjust herself from the pain in her back, but it was too much. It hurt now to even breathe, and that was getting harder and harder to do. “You can no longer fight the pains in your body. The pain you feel now will only worsen until you are too sick to move. Then you’ll simply lay down and die.”

“Tell me what you want from me. Then leave me alone.” Her mind was bubbling over with thoughts and images. She hurt too. Her brain felt as if it were on fire. “Tell me. I need to get out of here. I need to—”

“I need for you to tell him you love him.” Aster’s voice sounded like it came from a long tunnel. “Kari, you need to tell him that you love him. It’s the only way to save you both.”

“I’m not worth saving.” Kari rolled to her side and felt her body shake. “So cold. I’m so cold.”

“Kari, listen to me.” This was Connie, and she tried to look at her. “Tell Steele that we need him to see his mother. He must see her before it’s too late. That is what I need for you to do for me. Please.”

“Tell him I love him and he must see his mommy.” Kari felt herself fading fast. Her body was simply too heavy to move. “Love and his mommy. I will.”

Kari opened her eyes again, and Billy was there. He looked so sad that she wanted to reach for him, but she couldn’t lift her arm. He touched his mouth to her forehead and everything went black. Then he spoke in her head.

He will come for you, love. And when he does, you will help me with my problem. You and he will be the best thing that has ever happened to any of us.

~~~

Izzy was taking the trash out when she saw the bag. Looking around, she didn’t see Kari anywhere, but she knew that she’d not leave her things. Pulling the envelope out of her pocket, she slipped it in the front pocket and found a small picture. The elderly man smiled back at her, and Izzy found herself smiling despite having no idea who he was. Putting it back, she went to find out where Kari was.

Izzy hated that the two of them were breaking up. She knew that they had some problems, but she’d never seen Steele look so happy before. Every time the two of them were in the same room, he looked like he would and could conquer dragons for the young miss. Izzy smiled when she thought of the torn clothing she’d found in the bedroom a few days ago. The two of them were certainly having a good time between the sheets.

The little cemetery was about a mile back from the house. Izzy had a service come out and clean it up once a month all year round. Steele hadn’t been there since…well, she wasn’t sure when he’d been there last. Not, at least, since his sister was killed.

Thinking of the young girl always saddened her. So young to have her life cut off. Aster had been such a joy to be around, and she’d made her brother laugh more often than not no matter his mood. She missed the girl like she was of her own blood.

Mr. and Mrs. Bennett hadn’t deserved them. They were the coldest people she’d ever worked for. And had it not been for the children, she would have quit them years before. But they had needed her as babies and more so when they were older. When they’d been brought to the house, it was love at first sight.