strongholdrising (46 page)

"That's all right," said Kaid. "You did the right thing by calling me. It's my brother's Triad bonding tomorrow, he'll be over here for that. I'll have a talk with Kusac then."
"As Jayza said, it would be so much easier if he could read him," murmured Khy.
Kaid didn't bother answering. "How's he been with our M'zullians?"
"He's coping, but then he only takes one session a day and Jayza's there to help. I don't feel comfortable leaving him alone with them. He's only doing pattern exercises, no combat."
"How's our princeling doing? Have you sent his mistress packing back to the embassy yet? And what about that aide?"
"Zsurtul reluctantly agreed that the Warrior Clan estate wasn't an appropriate place for a female of such nice sensibilities as she has," Khy grinned. "As for the aide, he sent him packing himself, with his mistress. He's as game as any of them, but he lacks their potential depth of aggression. You've been getting my reports, haven't you? I hope we never have to fight them, Kaid. They're almost faster than the eye can follow, and have the ability to consciously trigger whatever extra hormones or pseudo-hormones they need. Total bio feedback. One of them managed to break his leg yesterday. Believe it or not, he was climbing a tree of all things! Came crashing down through the branches. It wasn't a clean break, and he was in a great deal of pain when we got to him, but then his eyes just glazed over and he became very calm. When they tested him in the infirmary, he had levels of natural endorphins that were almost off the scale. I hope we're doing the right thing by training them."
"The idea is that by exposing them to us, hopefully they'll see us as friendly, not a threat. Are they enjoying themselves? You're implementing the entertainment program as well, aren't you? It's important they see the other side of us."
"I'd say they're enjoying themselves. They've got an insatiable capacity for learning and training— can't get enough of it. They watch the entertainment channels each evening— they like the factual programs about other species and some of the Terran ones about wildlife on their world. Storytelling hour is one of their favorites too. In fact it was Zsurtul who asked if we could visit a theater. I'm hoping to arrange it for next week if you've no objections."
"None. It sounds like they're doing well," he said, relieved that his carefully worked out choice of programs was proving popular with the younglings.
"We're also keeping up the team games, and individual sporting activities to build an appreciation of both teamwork and individual attainment."
"But," encouraged Kaid.
Khy grinned, ears flicking in recognition of being caught. "Our prince has a bad case of hero worship."
"Kusac."
"You guessed. That's causing problems. I've spoken to Zsurtul about it but he says he's not following him around, only doing what was agreed— observing life outside their training camp. He says he respects Kusac as a Warrior who suffered much and survived it with dignity."
"Zsurtul's got too much of the Intellectual in him," muttered Kaid. "The Primes are right, they need the leavening of the Warriors, and Warriors need the intelligence of the Intellectuals to prevent them becoming like the M'zullians. I'll come back with Kusac," he said, deciding he needed to see for himself what was happening. "Until the day after tomorrow, Khy."
"Until then, Kaid."
Kaid switched off his comm and rejoined Carrie on the sofa. She held out a plate of cut meats to him as he sat down beside her.
"You better have some more before I finish them all," she said. "What do we do about Kusac?"
"There's nothing you can do, Dzinae," he said, spearing a couple of chunks with his claw tips and popping them in his mouth. He climbed back to his place beside her, lying down with his head on her lap. As soon as they touched, the magic of their Link flowed through him again, sensitizing his body to hers, making it difficult for him to focus on anything but her.
"When I started training Kusac, T'Chebbi accused me of working him too hard, of trying to prove I hadn't lost my edge because of what Fyak and Ghezu did to me," he said quietly. "I didn't think I was, then. But Kusac's doing exactly that now, only it's himself he's driving too hard."
"What changed you?" she asked, putting the plate down so she could stroke between his ears.
He turned his head and looked up at her. "Two things. Deciding to make Kusac my sword-brother was the first. I didn't want to do it but he left me no choice."
"Why didn't you?"
He took hold of her hand, turning it so he could run his tongue across her palm. "You know the answer, Carrie. Because I love him, just as I love you."
"I don't understand why that was a problem."
"It wouldn't have been, if he hadn't been brought up a telepath. I knew I couldn't hide what I feel if we took the oath. You've no idea how hard I tried to put him off the idea."
"I have. Don't forget I shared his experiences, particularly the execution detail you took him on," she said dryly.
"It was necessary," he said, remembering how T'Chebbi, who'd been with Carrie at the time, had torn a strip off him for taking Kusac on that duty. "He needed to be able to kill our own people, or the U'Churians, if it came to it, and that was the only way I knew how to harden him. Anyway," he said, letting his thumb rub gently across her palm, "he stuck with the training, and anything else I could throw at him. In the end, I realized I wanted him as a sword-brother, regardless of the risks. By that time, I'd made sure he knew what it entailed, and when we did take the oath, I asked only for his loyalty. I gave him what you already had, myself. I opened my mind to him, expecting only a brief mental contact as is common when two empathic Brothers take the oath, only it didn't quite work like that."
"That's why you had T'Chebbi bring me to the Retreat. You were afraid we'd make a full three-way Link."
"Of that, and that a Link compulsion like we have now would be generated between us. And I was right." He looked away from her, aware of the complex emotions he was experiencing as he remembered that day. He wasn't sure even he understood exactly what he felt for Kusac.
She nodded. "I remember. Before I passed out, I was drawn to T'Chebbi as if we were lovers. Kusac said the same happened between you and him, but he said you didn't love him, that it was me you loved."
"He meant I'm in love with you, not him. Which is true," he murmured.
"Why are you telling me all this now?" she asked after a moment.
"Becoming sword-brothers is a time of training and testing for yourself, and your partner, to find out what you can each bring to the relationship, what you're prepared to give," said Kaid, his hand tightening round hers as he looked up at her again. "Garras and I had been sword-brothers. He was the senior partner, he asked me. We shared a minor Link because of the Talent I didn't know I had. We were close— closer than lovers, because our lives depended on each other— but we never actually became lovers. The need to ask for more never came for either of us. I love Kusac as my sword-brother, as a Triad mate, and because I love you."
She regarded him steadily, refusing to read him, waiting for him to tell her what was in his mind.
"I think he's losing his grip, Carrie, like the telepaths in Rezac's time. He can't and won't turn to you for help, nor to T'Chebbi, because of what happened when he was with you on Haven, and with T'Chebbi here. As his sword-brother, it's my place to be there for him, at Nezule."
"I wouldn't expect less of you," she said quietly, taking her hand from his and stroking his head again. "You should have told me sooner what happened to T'Chebbi. I'd have understood better what was happening to him. I wish there was something I could do to help him."
He pushed himself up on his elbow, drawing her one-handedly down beside him. "I love you," he said, leaning forward to kiss her, his hand pushing her robe aside so he could touch her belly. Beneath his fingers, he felt a gentle fluttering as their cub moved.
Slowly he broke the kiss, moving down until he could lay his cheek against her, waiting to feel the movement again. When it had passed, eyes shining, he lifted his head, beginning to lick and caress her, his worries for Kusac submerged for now while they were Linked by the magic of this shared time.
the
Couana,
Zhal-S'Asha, 20th day (October)
Kusac muttered, moving fretfully in his uneasy sleep. In the chair by the side of the bed, Banner stirred, getting to his feet and looking toward the door, ears wide, muscles tensed.
With a faint hiss of compressed air, the door slid back, silhouetting Chima. She waited for Banner to join her.
"You'd been gone for so long, I came to check that everything was all right," she said quietly.
Banner grunted disbelievingly. He'd seen her hand on the butt of her pistol. "I'm seeing he sleeps," was all he said.
"What's the message say?" she asked.
"I haven't been cleared to tell you," he said, turning back into the room. "You'll be told at the briefing."
She caught him by the arm. "He told you what was in it?"
He looked at her and when she let him go, he joined her outside in the corridor, closing the door behind him
"What's important here, Chima? That this mission— whatever it is— succeeds, or that you prove Master Rhyaz right?"
"I'm not out to prove anything, Banner, only to observe and, if necessary, act to prevent a disaster."
"Then like me, you'll know we're on course to the rendezvous and all is going as planned," he said coldly, turning back to the door.
"If he needs you to spend the night with him, he's not coping, Banner. He should step down now as Captain and have you head the mission," she said, her tone equally harsh. "The fact he can't see that proves Master Rhyaz's view."
Banner raised an eye ridge, glad he'd left his uniform off, and reached out to run his fingertips gently across her cheek. "Do you always sleep alone when off duty, Chima?" he asked. "Captain or no, he has the same rights and needs as you and I."
Flattening her ears, she snarled soundlessly at him before stalking off down the corridor to her room, tail swaying in angry arcs.
Grinning, Banner slipped back into the darkened room, locking the door this time with a small device he had in his bag. As Kusac's shadow for the last seven weeks, he knew better than Chima or Master Rhyaz what was happening to him now, and why he needed to be watched. All was going as Master Lijou had said it would.
Valsgarth Estate, Zhal-Vartra, 25th day (July)
The Triad ceremony had gone well, Rezac taking Jo as his life-mate and Zahsou agreeing to become their Third. Their choice had surprised many, not least Jo herself when Rezac had proposed to her several weeks previously. Because they were already a Triad, the three of them had shared the blood-rites, becoming kin to each other.
Though he'd stood with Carrie and Kaid during the ceremony, he'd not felt he was with them or even part of the proceedings. Life was moving on for everyone, except himself. He felt out of place at the festivities in the garden afterward and would have slipped inside the villa for peace if Kaid and Toueesut hadn't found him.
The harmonics from the torc were working overtime, and he found it impossible not to concentrate on the sounds and attempt to understand them in terms of the Touibans' emotions. It was like knowing just enough of an alien language to have an inkling of what they were saying, and it was exhausting.
After half an hour, Kaid took him by the arm and, making their excuses, drew him off to one side where an elderly tree offered shade from the afternoon sun.
"Will you talk to Carrie?" Kaid asked without preamble. "She's hurt that you're keeping your distance."
"I've spoken to her, Kaid," he said, sitting down and leaning back against the trunk of the tree. "And I spent time with Kashini before the nurse took her in out of the sun."
"Carrie's your life-mate, Kusac, the female you fought for the right to marry. Or has all that changed?" Kaid asked, sitting down on the grass beside him.
"She's carrying your cub," he said quietly. "Seeing her pregnant brings back too many memories of what I've lost right now."
Kaid reached for a pack of stim twigs in his belt pocket. Opening the pack, he offered one to Kusac. He accepted it, putting one end in his mouth and biting down on it.
"Do you intend to go on like this, Kusac?" Kaid asked, taking one himself and putting the pack away. "Being a stranger to us?"
"Kaid's right, Kusac," said Kitra, coming round from the other side of the tree. She stopped in front of him, making him squint up against the sun to see her. Crouching down beside him, she wrapped her arms around his chest, hugging him. "I want my brother back," she said. "Nothing seems to touch you but anger these days. You won't let anyone close, not even me."
Startled, his arm automatically went around her, holding her as he used to when she'd been a cub.
"That's not so, kitling," he said, taking the stim twig out of his mouth and letting his chin rest on the top of her head. "You know I care for you, and always will." His eyes caught Kaid's and he saw the sardonic look in them. He held Kitra more tightly, aware he needed this contact with her. He brushed her ear tip with his tongue, making her look up at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears.
"No, don't cry," he said forcefully. "I really am all right, Kitra. I've not stopped loving you. It's just— difficult— for me now to express it. It's like I have to learn to use emotions all over again, but it's beginning to pass. A few weeks more, then I'm sure I'll be through the worst."
A sudden commotion near the house drew their attention. Kitra sat up, her serious expression lightening with a smile. "Vanna's having her cub," she said. "Jack and Garras are taking her to the hospital."
"Exciting times," he murmured, helping his sister get to her feet.
She hesitated, torn between her wish to stay with him and her desire to join in the adult excitement.
He hugged her, his first spontaneous loving gesture in a long time. "Go on, kitling," he said, genuine warmth in his voice. "It'll be your turn soon enough. You should be with them."
She bounced up to kiss him then sped off to the knot of females crowded near the door into the lounge.
"She's a remarkable young female," said Kaid, standing beside him, watching her. "My son is very lucky. If not for her, he would have wasted his life in bitter regret for the family he lost in the massacre at Szurtha. We owe her a great deal."
"Sunlight and midnight," he murmured, forgetting for a moment Kaid was even there. "My sisters are so different, yet they both light up our lives so very much."