Summer Solstice (6 page)

I licked my cone, before sighing heavily. "It's to prove that he's any man. He could be anyone. Tyler Durden is just the same asshole hot shot who every man aspires to be. The real guy with the layers and the problems is so much more interesting."

Seth continued to shake his head as he finished his cone. "Yeah. Because if you had the choice to date Edward Norton's character or Tyler Durden, you'd really pick Norton."

"I would," I said honestly. "Durden scares me with all his radical beliefs."

"And Norton's schizoid behavior doesn't?"

By this point, I was so frustrated that he couldn't agree with me, that I just spit out the first thing that came to my mind. "Just because you have a man crush on Brad Pitt does not mean I'm going to cross over to the dark side and fall in love with Tyler Durden." Seth's mouth opened to protest, but I cut him off. "And you know what else?" I asked, but didn't wait for a response, before I took my vanilla ice cream cone and shoved it in his face, thus winning the argument in my opinion.

Seth's mouth opened in surprise and I just smiled at him.

"You're going to pay for that," he whispered, his eyes narrowing.

"I hope so," I whispered back. Then, to cut him off again, I leaned forward and licked the ice cream off the side of his face. As I began to pull away, he grabbed my face and kissed me right in the middle of broad daylight. Granted, we were in his car, but anyone could have seen us.

"I think we better go back to your apartment," I whispered.

Seth didn't even try to disagree.

The moment we stepped foot in his apartment, I was in Seth's arms. He kissed me deeply as we somehow managed to make it through the living room, down the hallway, and into his bedroom.

When I was safely on his bed with him hovering over me, he finally spoke. "I know we should take this slow," he said, "but whenever I'm with you, it's like that logic just flies out the window."

"I look at it this way," I said, taking his face in my hands. "We've been taking it slow for the last ten years. We're making up for lost time now."

Seth seemed satisfied with that answer because he kissed me again. When his tongue touched mine, I moaned loudly, thankful that my brother was at work. If anyone were to interrupt us at that moment, I probably would have killed them.

When Seth's lips traveled down my neck, I laced my fingers in his hair to bring him closer. "I've wanted you for years," I confessed, closing my eyes to enjoy his ministrations.

"I've wanted you twice as long," he whispered, lifting up my shirt to touch my stomach.

"So what do we do about that?" I asked.

Seth lifted his head and looked at me. "There's only one thing that I can think of," he said simply. "But if you aren't ready, I understand. Pushing you is the last thing that I want to do."

Tugging at the hem of his shirt, I pulled it over his head. "I'm ready," I said softly.

My response was met once again with his lips against mine. This kiss was softer, however, less demanding. It was a kiss that stated that we'd been tiptoeing around this long enough and it was time to do something about it.

And suddenly, I couldn't tell where he ended and I began. His lips were everywhere as my fingers trailed over his back. My shirt and bra quickly joined his on the floor and were replaced by his mouth and hands. My breathing hitched up a notch when he took off my shorts and hooked his fingers in my panties, pulling them down at the same time. As I lay fully bare in front of him, I felt myself try to cover up the best I could, but he took my hands and placed them over my head before he glanced over my body from head to toe.

"Perfect," he whispered, his lips landing on my neck.

And then I was unbuttoning his shorts and yanking them off with his boxers. I'd seen naked guys before. I did, after all, go to college. I lived in a dorm that had Porn Parties on a weekly basis. Nothing could prepare me for seeing the real thing. let alone a very naked Seth. All of the nerves that I'd had about losing my virginity flew out the window. I wasn't worried about the pain or wonder about whether he'd fit. Somehow, I just knew he would and that everything would work itself out.

But Seth still didn't rush, even though we were both naked. Instead of rushing things, he only seemed to slow down. His fingers moved south and traced my most intimate folds, which made me gasp. His touch was so gentle, so loving that I could have cried. As the fever began to grow, the feeling in my stomach did as well.

Wanting to return his affection, I sat up and reached for him. After a few heated strokes, his breathing deepened and quickened and I felt a smile cross my face at the thought that I could make him as hot and bothered as he made me. Seth's hand caught mine in his own and pulled it away. Lacing our fingers together, he laid me back down.

"Condom," I said softly, knowing what came next. I was ready. I was more than willing.

He pulled away from me and walked out of the room for a minute, before returning, all ready to go. When he crawled back on the bed and over me, I felt my stomach swirl in anticipation. After all these years, I was going to lose my virginity.

To my brother's best friend.

Lacing his fingers through mine again, he dropped a light kiss in my cheek. "Are you completely sure?" he asked.

"Yes," I said strongly.

And then he was parting my legs and positioning himself between me. I moaned loudly as he slid his length into me as no one had before. I wasn't na
ï
ve. I knew that being twenty-one and a virgin, my hymen probably was no longer intact, so the only thing I had to worry about, was adjusting to his size.

"You feel so good," Seth moaned, dropping his head to my shoulder, before biting my neck softly. I moaned once, then twice as his fingers dropped to rub against my most sensitive area.

And then he started to move.

Slowly at first.

As my body adjusted to his size and his fingers continued their ministrations, I could already feel my nerves bounding together tightly. This was what I'd been missing for all those years, this feeling of completeness.

I tilted my hips up in order to allow more of him in and his breathing hitched. "Lexi," Seth whispered. "Lexi."

Biting his shoulder gently, I began to return his thrusts. Just when I thought the friction couldn't get any more unbearable, he would quicken the pace, making me feel as if I was going to fly apart.

His fingers pressed against me harder and I flew over the edge, not able to hold back the scream that ripped from my throat. A minute later, he stiffened over me and with one last thrust, collapsed on my body.

I was sweaty. I was exhausted.

But I was happy.

He pulled out of me, leaving me feeling a little empty, but made up for it when he pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead before I promptly fell asleep.

When I awoke a half hour later, Seth was passed out. Trying my best to not wake him up, I pulled out of his embrace and walked to the bathroom where I cleaned myself up.

When I returned to the bedroom, I realized that he had rolled onto his stomach. Climbing back on the bed, I sat there, tracing the intricate lines of his Celtic tattoo. My tracing woke him up as he moaned and then looked at me with a huge smile.

"Are you okay?" he asked me softly.

"Yeah," I replied, continuing my tracing. "I mean, people had told me what to expect, so I was prepared."

"Expect?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah." When my finger would get to the end of one line, I'd start all over or find a new one to trace. I was so into my activity, I replied without thinking, "I mean, Sarah told me it hurt really bad her first time, but she'd been fifteen at the time."

Seth sat up quickly and grabbed the hand that had been tracing his tattoo. "First time?" he asked softly, tracing a line down my cheek. "That was your first time?"

I shrugged. "Can we not make a huge deal out of this?" I asked him. "Yes. You were my first. No, I'm not upset. Yes, I'm fine. I'm more than fine, actually." I leaned forward and kissed him softly. He returned it, which made me realize he wasn't mad or upset.

"Well I'm honored," Seth told me.

I smiled and laced our fingers together. "You should be." Then I pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him. "Up for seconds?"

When I finally left hours later, it was only because my brother would be home soon from work and there was no way in hell that I wanted him to catch me naked in his best friend's bed.

It took everything in me to leave Seth that night and I was extremely preoccupied with my thoughts as I got dressed.

If I only would have paid more attention while I was putting my clothes on.

Then I wouldn't have stupidly forgotten my panties on Seth's floor.

six.

Checking my phone for the billionth time that day, I tried my best not to sigh and draw attention to myself. All day at work, I'd hoped that Seth would text or call me, but so far, I hadn't heard a single word. I didn't want to turn into the clingy type, especially since I knew that I wasn't officially his girlfriend, but I couldn't help it.

The night before, I'd thrown all caution to the wind and slept with Seth and today, he was silent like some terrible teen film.

Needless to say, when Sarah had called that afternoon asking if I wanted to go to the bar with her, I'd jumped at the opportunity. Maybe I'd get good and drunk and spill everything to my best friend. By that point, would that really have been such a bad idea?

I got home from work around four and took a quick shower before getting ready to go out. Not caring too much about how I looked, I threw on a pair of worn jeans and a comfy tee shirt. Sarah picked me up a few minutes later.

Which brings us to the bar and the checking for texts every five seconds.

Sarah, from the moment that I'd picked her up, had seemed preoccupied, but happy nonetheless. Knowing my best friend, I figured she'd spill whatever was on her mind when she was ready. So instead, we both ordered a drink and sat in peaceful silence with our thoughts still heavily sitting upon us.

Like some lovesick teenager, my thoughts immediately turned to Seth and I shoved my phone in my pocket almost violently so that I wouldn't be tempted to check it again.

Why hadn't he texted or called?

When he'd dropped me off at my house the night before, he'd been the same old Seth he'd always been, but more affectionate. He'd held my hand all the way home and kissed me goodbye before I'd gotten out of his car.

I know that people say that sex can complicate things, but when he'd left, things had honestly seemed to be okay. He'd even sent me a few messages before he'd gone to bed and I'd passed out.

I'd avoided calling or sending messages all day so that I wouldn't appear to be some clingy girl. I may have given the boy my virginity, but I knew that it wasn't a marriage proposal. What Seth and I had was far beyond any relationship that I'd ever had, but I wasn't about to blur the lines of sanity in order to start building a dream life with the boy.

Lost in my thoughts, I traced a heart in the condensation of the glass that still held half a cold beer and sighed again. I knew my feelings for Seth were way beyond friendship and moving into that terrifying love area, but I also knew going into this relationship that I needed to keep a clear head.

Seth was my brother's best friend. Hell. He was my friend.

Our relationship was so full of gray matter that it was difficult to navigate.

Which is why his not calling was really starting to get to me.