Surrender to Me (23 page)

He squeezed her hand, smoothing his thumb over her knuckles. “When I come back, I’ll have a bit of leave left. We’ll work on us. I want to meet your parents, help you with your concerns. I want you to feel free to give yourself to me without fears or worries.”

Kata yanked her hand from his grasp. When Hunter slanted a glance at her tight face and downcast gaze, his guts seized up.
Uh-oh.

“What’s on your mind, honey?”

“I saw your brother’s living room, if that’s what you want to call it. That hardly put me at ease. What the hell? Is regular dating just too bland for you guys?”

Hunter had dreaded this discussion. As he’d led her through the predawn shadows of Logan’s living room, she’d finally gotten a firsthand peek. No sofas or big screens for his younger brother. Instead, a St. Andrew’s cross, a spanking bench, a restraint table, spreader bars, and chains dangling from the ceiling beams filled the space.

To a woman terrified of giving up control, Logan’s living room would be a nightmare. Hunter’s thoughts whirled as he tried to figure out how the hell he could do damage control.

“So Logan and I are both dominant. His décor has nothing to do with you and me.”

“Are you going to try to tell me that you’ve never used any of that equipment?”

No, he was well versed, and she was too astute not to know it. “I prefer restraint tables and spanking benches. Not as fond of the crosses.” He shrugged. “But it doesn’t matter what I use. I’d never hurt you.”

“You’d just restrain me and do whatever the hell you wanted so you could turn me inside out. Both you and your brother are intent on locking down the women in your lives. What the hell is that about?”

He’d already explained his need to protect and sate her . . . yet push her to take all of him in any way he felt necessary to truly connect them. He’d been over this—and over and over it. He definitely wasn’t going to explain that he’d discovered BDSM the summer after his mother’s desertion. Okay, so the two were probably linked, but at this point, why explain it? It was what it was.

“That
was
you screaming in my ear a few hours ago while I restrained and satisfied you, right?” Hunter challenged her. “Did you think, for even one minute, that I was going to force any act on you that your body didn’t fully respond to?”

“No, but my body and my brain are having one hell of a disagreement about what I need in a man for the long term, and you’re trying to push past my boundaries faster than I’m ready.” She looked out the passenger window.

That, he believed. If not for this mission, he’d spend more time reassuring her . . . before putting some of the items in Logan’s living room to good use and giving her a darker taste of his dominance. She needed to experience more of the deep, incredible power exchange between them so she could see that she had nothing to fear. His mission put all that on hold. No wonder she felt a little lost.

“Kata, listen to me—”

“No, Hunter, you listen to me. We have awesome chemistry. I won’t deny that, but . . .” She sighed. “I liked last night. I won’t try to say I didn’t. You make me feel adored and aroused in a way I never believed possible. But I don’t think I can handle this. Getting married was a stupid impulse. You want something I can’t give you. We should be smart now and end it, before we both get hurt.”

Fear sent dread resounding all through him. She wanted a divorce? “I’m not letting you go.”

“Be reasonable. We’ve known each other for less than two days.”

He shook his head. “Not happening. I love you.”

She shook her head, gaze falling away. “You don’t mean it. You don’t know me.”

He gritted his teeth together, wanting to strangle her “logic” with his bare hands. The only thing running her brain was fear. “Honey, I meant every word.” Hunter had no idea how to explain what he knew in his gut was true. He shook his head, sorting through his thoughts. “Why did you invite your sister to your party?”

Kata frowned like he’d lost his mind. “She’s my sister.”

“But she’s married and has kids, and this wasn’t her sort of party.”

“Yeah ... but the celebration wouldn’t have felt complete without her.” Her mouth turned down a moment later.

“You wanted your mother there, too.”

Now Kata looked downright unhappy. “Fucking Gordon wouldn’t let her come.”

Another strike against the asshole in Hunter’s book. Little wonder Kata hated him. “I’ll bet you called your brother as well.”

“Joaquin didn’t answer,” she shrugged glumly. “Guess he’s undercover.”

Hunter put his arm around her. “You knew he might not, but you still tried. You’ll always try because you care. You’re the glue holding your family together, aren’t you? That’s one reason I love you. Honey, you’re smart and sexy as hell, and even when you’re pissed at me, your razor-sharp humor makes me smile. I know underneath that is a scared girl, and I want to show her that she’s loved and doesn’t always have to be in control.”

She bit her lip. “But I don’t like not being in control.”

“Some part of you does, at least in the bedroom. You found that out last night, and the depth of your submission scared you.”

For the first time since he’d met Kata, she didn’t have a cheeky comeback on the tip of her tongue. “Yeah.”

He cradled her cheek in his palm. “Our marriage was no mistake. And when I come back from this mission, we’re going to spend a lot of quality time together, until you’re comfortable with me. I’ll keep doing whatever it takes to earn your submission and your love. Don’t doubt that.”

Sadness furrowed Kata’s brow. She pursed her lips together, as if she were holding tears inside. “I don’t think it will work. I’m independent. I can’t
stand
people telling me what to do. I’m stubborn and decisive . . . everything you don’t want. You’re a logical guy—”

“But one who knows when to go with his gut. So our courtship was in fast-forward. So I don’t know your favorite color or TV show. So you don’t know which of my scars are from a childhood bike accident and which are from military service. So fucking what? Those are details.” He shook his head. “Don’t confuse a Dom with an asshole. The truth is, you’ve been in ‘easy’ relationships so your heart would never be threatened. If you were to ask yourself—and be really honest—you know that you can’t ever be truly happy with guys like Ben, who let you call all the shots.”

Pressing her lush lips together, Kata stared out the window. Only the hum of the truck’s engine and the faint twang of an old-time country western station broke the silence. Hunter wasn’t deterred. Even if she didn’t admit it, she was thinking.

“What do you know about me?” he prompted, his tone brooking no refusal. “And watch the sarcasm. You should know I have no problem turning your ass bright red.”

Kata paused, shrugged. “You’re gorgeous, but you don’t act like you know it. You have loyal friends and family, which suggests that you must be loyal yourself. You seem confident in almost every situation, but not cocky. You’re smart and quick . . . and probably good with kittens and babies, too.” Kata quipped with a twist of her lips that gave Hunter hope. “But you’re also relentless and too damn perceptive. Every minute you find some new way to twist me inside out. I hate the word ‘submissive.’ It implies that I’m some simpering, brainless—”

“Never you. I told you, that’s one reason I want
you
. Some subs lose themselves and their identities to their Masters. If they’re uncollared, in other words if the relationship ends, they’re so used to being dependent, they don’t know who they are anymore. I’ll never worry about that with you. I have no doubt you’ll always challenge me. Honey, the big difference between me and Gordon—and listen closely—is that, with that selfish prick it’s all about his desires. With me, I can’t be happy if I’m not giving you what you need. I’ll concede that our marriage was quick. But give us a fucking chance before you bow to your fear and quit on us.”

RUSH hour, or Lafayette’s equivalent, was nearly at an end when Kata and Hunter approached the city. She stretched, then applied some lip gloss from her purse as her—she still could barely say the word—husband drove with a pair of aviators covering those perceptive blue eyes. With one hand, he held the wheel. With the other, he gripped her hand.

Before last night, the wound he’d made in her defenses in Vegas had just begun to scab over. She could have resumed her life without him, granted, with some regrets. But after last night . . .

Kata trembled. Hunter had introduced her to a whole new pleasure. Electric. Breath-stealing. Once-in-a-lifetime wow. No way was she going to delude herself and say that she hadn’t enjoyed his manacles and firm hand. Hunter had forced her to see deep inside herself and admit her fears to him. In his domination, she’d felt utterly adored, almost pampered, which was contrary to everything she believed. He’d ripped off that scab and permanently scarred her defenses.

Today, she hated the raw, vulnerable feeling left behind. His every move had been designed to shove his way into her life, her head, her heart. He’d made her feel something for him that was way bigger than she could handle. Sure, other women craved being controlled. Kata wasn’t cut out for letting anyone that deeply into her soul.

And whether Hunter fessed up to it or not, he wanted to control bunches beyond their bedroom play. That’s where she had a problem. No, he wasn’t Gordon. Hunter was her stepfather on steroids, smarter, more determined. Under all his pushiness he was probably a decent guy, but he could also act like Asshole version 2.0 when it suited him. He claimed that his behavior was about giving her what she needed. Smooth line. Bet Gordon wished he’d thought of that. Granted, Hunter hadn’t torn her down to build up his own ego, but did that matter if she had no power in the relationship? She’d eventually lose all self-respect and feel like shit anyway.

On the other hand, he’d accused her of not really giving him and the marriage a chance.

She glanced his way. He met her stare, and the electric zing between them charged through her.

Had her mother felt this pull to Gordon, even as her friends, her job, and her individuality slowly slipped away? Hunter even admitted that some subs lost themselves to their Dom. Besides the fact that she couldn’t imagine wearing anyone’s collar, like some pet, Kata worried that if she allowed him complete mastery over her body, she would soon lose herself in the extreme pleasure he gave her, and surrender her heart and soul.

“Are you okay, honey?” Hunter murmured.

Kata chose her words carefully. He terrified her emotionally, but his point about being distracted on a mission was well taken. She didn’t want to do anything that would place him in greater peril. They’d sort out everything when he returned.

“Just tired. Overwhelmed.”

He sent her a searching stare as he pulled into the parking lot of an upscale apartment building, then eased the truck into a spot under a shade tree. Twenty feet away, Tyler stood in the doorway, waiting.
Whoa!
She’d forgotten how big he was built. With a guy like him, she’d normally assume he was a gym rat whose fantasies revolved around increasing the circumference of his biceps, but she’d already seen him in action enough to know he possessed a sharp watchfulness that promised he could totally kick someone’s ass.

Yeah, he’d keep her safe, but Kata wasn’t at all happy about this arrangement. How contrary did it make her that she’d been dying to put space between her and Hunter, but already she felt the pangs from his withdrawal?

They stepped from the truck, and Tyler jogged down the exterior stairs to greet them. “Hi, baby. I got your suitcase from the back of your car.”

“Thank—” She frowned at the green-eyed beefcake in the killer tight black tee. “How did you get into my trunk without my keys?”

Tyler smiled smugly, then turned to Hunter. “I talked to Jack. He’ll be by to get her tomorrow night.” Then his grin turned sly. “That is, if she still wants to go.”

Hunter lunged into Tyler’s personal space, then growled, “Let’s get one thing straight: Kata is not your ‘baby’; she’s my
wife
. You don’t touch her. You don’t even
think
about touching her. Or I swear to God, I’ll rip your face off.”

Really, Hunter had nothing to worry about. Tyler was attractive . . . but her life was complicated enough.

Tyler looked amused. “Possessive much?”

“Focus on the fact that someone wants to kill Kata. I get that other men’s wives turn you on, but—”

“I’ll make sure he’s all bluster, Hunter.” A familiar guy emerged from Tyler’s apartment, with dark, shoulder-length waves that would seem feminine on another man. On him, it looked drop-dead sexy as he sauntered down the steps into the morning light.

“Luc Traverson?” Kata stared, stunned. “Wow, I love your cooking show!”

And he was even more gorgeous in person.

“Thank you.” He extended a hand to her. “Great to meet you. You’re Hunter’s wife, Kata?” At her stilted shrug, he drawled, “My deepest sympathies.”

“Funny.” Hunter didn’t sound amused as he glared at Luc. “You’re here because . . . ?”

Kata frowned. “How do you two know each other?”