Taming Eric (34 page)

Maggie and Tom climbed into their 4WD and they both waved as the vehicle headed down the driveway until it disappeared from their view. Once they were alone again he turned to Natasha. “You and Maggie seemed to hit it of
f ok.”

“She’s really nice Eric, so is Thomas, but Maggie’s just one of those ladies whose like everyone’s Mum.” She s
miled.

“Yeah baby, I know what you mean. She’s been really good to me since I bought this place. Always making food for me. I think she’s convinced I’d starve if I didn’t have her making meals for me. Well, you can see that for yourself. All the food she made, not to mention stocking the fridges and pantry like she’s expecting us to be holed up here for the next 6 months or somet
hing.”

“So what are we going to do for the rest of the day?” She asked and he shrugged. Looking at her standing before him in that green dress of hers, he knew what he’d like to be doing. He’d like to be taking it off her and taking her to bed but as tempting as the idea was, he invited her to Tasmania to show her around too, not keep her under him in bed all the
time.

“How about we finally get you out and you can buy some warmer clo
thes?”

“We’re going to be here long enough for that? You’re not getting restless for work
yet?”

“No baby, I’m not. I know we’re going to have to get back eventually but I’m happy to stay here for a few more days.” Still with guilt over his behaviour sounding in his voice he continued. “I’m hoping to have an answer as to whether you’re pregnant before we go home. I need to know so we can work out what to do to take care of the situation. You’re late aren’t you?” He asked but Natasha shook her
head.

“No Eric, I don’t think so. I don’t know. I’ve never been very regular with my c
ycle.”

“Well while we’re out today, I suggest you get a pregnancy test kit.” As far as Eric was concerned, he was tired of the not knowing, he wanted a definitive answer so he knew what they would have to do next if anything. If Natasha wasn’t pregnant, then they’d dodged a bullet and there would be nothing to worry about. On the other hand if she was pregnant then they’d have to consider their options and decide where to go from
there.

He stared at her suddenly curious as to what had sparked her reaction when she blushed. After staring at him for a moment, she lowered her eyes. “I already have one. I bought it when I went to the Chemist in Sheffield. I just didn’t tell
you.”

Eric stared at her without saying anything. She lied to him? Ok, not lied but she omitted to tell him she’d already bought a pregnancy test? Why? What had possessed her to keep that a secret? She knew how much he was hanging on an answer as to whether she was pregnant or not. He hated secrecy, he hated lying and the longer he looked at her bowed head the angrier h
e got.

“Why the hell not? You were going to keep something like that from me? The outcome affects me too you know. I can’t be a father Natasha, I just can’t. You won’t trap me with a child I don’t want.” The words poured from his lips, out of control. All his fears, all his insecurities were running rampant through him and the words that should have never gone beyond those thoughts and fears in his head were spilling out of him unch
ecked.

Was he really worried she was trying to trap him? No, but he still couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t have told him about the pregnancy test kit. They could bury their heads in the sand for a little while, but sooner or later the truth was going to come out. Either she got her period and if she didn’t, he’d want to be involved when she did the test, but she had chosen to hide it all fro
m him?

He could feel his body starting to shake as his emotions threatened to get the better of him. He had put Natasha up on a pedestal, thinking she was beyond deception, omission of the truth or blatantly lying, but it seemed she was no different to any other woman he’d had in his life. That hurt, but what hurt the most was the fact that she had obviously chosen not to include him when she did the test, she was doing like everyone else he’d ever loved had done to him, she was shutting hi
m out.

He began to pace, raking his hands through his hair until Natasha’s angry words cut through his thoughts. “It’s just a test kit Eric. I haven’t taken the family silver.” He could hear the anger in her
voice.

Fuck her, why was she angry with him? She was the one who was trying to keep him out of something that could affect his future too. “I want you to do that test Natasha and I want you to do it now.” He sn
apped.

“Don’t order me around Eric. I’ll do the test because I want to do the damned test, not because you’re telling me to do it.” Her anger had risen to match his and they both glared at one another, neither prepared to back down. “Why are you getting so angry Eric. If I’m pregnant, I’m not trying to trap you, I’m not asking for a damned thing from you. I… don’t… need… you!” She spat angrily at him and with each one of those four little words, his heart started to spl
inter.

He had to get away from her. They were going to tear each other apart at this rate and her telling him she didn’t need him was playing over and over again in his head, the pain with each word like a knife, threatening to reduce him to tears and fucked if he was going to give in to his emotions in front o
f her.

With the pain consuming him he retaliated using anger to hide his hurt. “That’s fine Natasha because I don’t need or want to be a father and I don’t fucking well need you either.” He yelled and before the tears that burned at the back of his eyes could fall, betraying his true feelings, he turned and stormed off into the
house.

His mind was playing the whole fucked up conversation with her over and over again. He thought he was going to go insane. He couldn’t face her, he had to get out of here for a while. His eyes fell on his car keys still lying on the kitchen counter and he snatched them up, grabbed his wallet and headed out the back door to the g
arage.

He calmed down slightly but only slightly when the smell of the leather interior of his Ferrari hit his nostrils and with an agitated flick of his wrist, he turned the key listening to the powerful engine roar to life. Normally he’d have warmed it up a little, but he was like a man possessed and after putting the car in gear, he shot out of the garage, screaming down the side of the house and onto the drive, kicking up gravel as he
went.

Eric drove with no thought as to where he was going. He had no plans, no destination, nothing, he just drove. With his mind tormented by the images of his fight with Natasha he pushed the car as hard as he could. He didn’t even know how they’d ended up where they did. Ok, she hadn’t told him about the test but was it really that bad? He’d snapped, he’d lost it with her and he wasn’t sure why. Perhaps the worry over whether she was pregnant had affected him more than he wanted to admit but the bottom line was their fight had escalated far too quickly. He didn’t want to lose her but her words haunted him, she didn’t want him, she’d told him so. The pain of those words that she’d thrown at him distracted him and it was only after taking one particularly sharp bend in the road too fast and feeling the normally sure footed sports car slide out from under him, that he realised if he didn’t back off, he was going to potentially get himself killed or at the very least total hi
s car.

He slowed down a bit, his grip on the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles were white. How the fuck had it all gone so wrong? He’d fucked up by letting his old insecurities cause him to over react when he found out she had bought a test kit without telling him. He could get over that, he could go back and grovel for her forgiveness but he couldn’t forget her face, the anger, her disgust, those words as she spat them at him. “I… don’t… need… you.” They played over and over again in his mind and the more they played over, then it was no longer just Natasha’s voice anymore, it was his father, his mother and the procession of boyfriends she had. No one had ever wanted him. Sooner or later they all got tired of him and wanted nothing more to do with him and now the woman he loved didn’t want him e
ither.

The pain consumed him again and the tears that had burned at the back of his eyes welled over and started falling, getting heavier and heavier until he could barely see the road in front of him. Before he ran the car off the road, he had to pull over and as soon as he found a spot suitable to stop, he slammed on the brakes, the Ferrari skidding to a halt on a patch of gravel by the driveway of someone’s pro
perty.

He sat there, going over everything they’d said to each other and despite the fact that it seemed she wanted nothing more to do with him, it didn’t change the fact that he needed to know the outcome of the pregnancy test. Obviously their time in Tasmania was over unless he could get back and try and sort things out between them, but although he could apologise for what he’d said, nothing was going to fix what he’d said about a baby. It was true that he was scared, terrified, break out in a cold sweat kind of fear, but he honestly didn’t want her to terminate a pregnancy. He could never ask her to do something like that. Why he always let his fears and his past fuck up his life, he didn’t know but he kind of had enough insight to know that he had a destructive personality. He expected everything to go wrong, he didn’t think he was worthy of love, that he could be wanted or needed, so he made sure no one would want him or need him. He made it all go wrong for himself. Why the fuck he couldn’t control his personal life the way he did with work, he didn’t know. How he could be so successful with his company, the stock market and making money, but so fucked up when it came to his life outside the o
ffice.

“If you never got involved with her, you wouldn’t be in this situation now.” That little voice inside his head reminded him but he knew, no matter what the future held, he would never regret the time spent wit
h her.

When he finally got his tears under control, looking around self consciously in case anyone had seen him, but there was nothing, he swatted at his cheeks to wipe away the moisture. He had to get back, he’d left her alone for too long, over two hours from what he could see when he saw the
time.

His heart still hurt, every beat like a counter, adding up the time that she would no longer be in his life for. It was so painful for him to contemplate a future without Natasha in it. He couldn’t save them, but he could make peace with her and encourage her, rather than demand she do the pregnancy test so they knew which way their futures were going. He had to tell her why he was so scared to be a father and he had to tell her it was his own fears that made him say a pregnancy would have to be terminated. He didn’t mean that. He knew Natasha would make a wonderful Mother, he just wasn’t so convinced he was worthy of being any child’s f
ather.

“You are one fucked up fool Rothman.” He told himself. Fuck he’d heard the ladies in offices at Rothman Enterprises talking about those books with the fucked up billionaire. What did they say? He confessed that he was 50 shades of fucked up? Well, if they were after someone who was like that man in the books, he wondered if they even knew they didn’t have to look any further than their boss. “You’ve got nothing on me Grey.” He murmured to hi
mself.

He had to get back. He’d tortured himself with the ‘what if’s’ for long enough. It was pointless, he needed to talk to her, he needed to man up and although the thought scared the crap out of him, he needed to let her inside his head. With his mind clearer he turned the key in the ignition and when the powerful engine rumbled to life, he turned around and headed back towards his home, back to Na
tasha.

CHAPTER 15

When Eric finally turned into the driveway to his home he was surprised to see Maggie and Tom’s 4WD parked near the house. As he pulled up alongside of it, kicking up gravel with the Ferrari’s tyres he felt his heart fall down into his stomach when he realised Natasha was in the car. Fuck, she was leavin
g him?

He leapt out of the car and walked over to the driver’s window of the 4WD. “What the fuck is going on? Where the hell are you going Natasha? Maggie what the fuck are you doing? Someone fucking well answer me.” He yelled, his rage out of control again within seconds of realising what was happ
ening.

He stepped back from the door when Maggie opened it up and got back out of the car, shoving him hard in the chest with the palms of her hands. She took him by surprise and he staggered back a couple of steps. “Don’t you dare use that tone with me lad. You respect me, you respect this lass.” She snapped at him, her finger poking him hard in the chest with every
word.

Eric was too worked up to show her the respect he knew down deep inside he should be showing her. “Fuck you Maggie.” He looked over her shoulder to where Natasha was cowering in the car. “Natasha get out of the damned car now.” He yelled. Maggie’s hand shot out slapping him hard across the face and his gaze lowered to her, shocked at her rea
ction.

“Don’t you dare speak to me like that Eric and don’t you even think about getting Natasha out of this car. I’m about to take her to the airport so she can catch her flight home and if you know what’s good for you, you won’t try and follow us.” She shook with the rage running through her petite body and the look in her eyes was almost enough to make him flinch. It would have if he hadn’t been so angry hi
mself.

Suddenly the full impact of what was happening hit him. Fuck no, no, no, no, she couldn’t leave him. Not like this. Not when he was going to try and explain to her what made him the way he was. He wasn’t trying to make excuses for his behaviour but if she was thinking he was fucked up, she was right, what she didn’t know was why. He couldn’t lose her. He loved her. He wasn’t sure he’d survive without her. She’d taken his heart when he never saw it coming and now she was going to tear it from his chest and trample it under her feet like it was nothing? He had to find a way to stop her, somehow. He couldn’t let her drive away and leav
e him.

“Natasha baby, don’t go.” His anger disappearing as the painful reality of his situation consumed him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lost my temper with you. Come inside so we can talk about it.” He spoke to her softly while inside the little voice in his head begged her to
stay.

He could see the tears in her eyes and for a brief moment a tiny bit of hope flared to life inside him, that she might stay after all. Until she turned to face him and her eyes, fuck her eyes were blank, expressionless despite her tears. “I can’t Eric. My flight is booked, I have to go. I don’t want to miss my p
lane.”

Frustration clawed at him and he began to pace up and down by the car. “Dammit Natasha, this is stupid. One fight and you’re running out the
door?”

“It’s more than that Eric and you know it. Besides we’ve had a good time but it’s over. It’s time to get back to the real world.” Her voice was devoid of all emotion. He was hearing her words, but he didn’t want to believe
them.

She couldn’t go, she couldn’t leave him. There had to be some way to keep her with him. Something he could say or do that would make her change her mind. Fuck what the hell could he say or do to keep her? Suddenly it dawned on him. The test. That fucking test that had brought them to where they were now. If she was pregnant, he still had a chance with her. “Baby you can’t go. You haven’t done the test. You can’t go until we
know.”

He watched her eyes rise to his again. “I’ve done the test, it’s negative. So you can relax. You’re off the hook. There is no
baby.”

Eric barely heard her words after she’d said the test was negative. There was no baby, fuck there… was… no… baby! That one slim chance he had was gone. That chance to keep her even if that was a low blow to use a baby as a method of holding her to him was no more. With those few words she’d destroyed that last shred of hope he had. There was nothing. He couldn’t hold her now, no matter what he tried. He’d lost, he’d lost her. The only woman he would ever love was going to drive off shortly and be gone forever from his life because he knew, his gut instinct told him she wouldn’t come back to him, not even as his PA. It was over, he’d fought to hold her and
lost.

His shoulders slumped in defeat. “Did you really think you could hold a sweet young piece of ass like that?” His father’s voice mocked him in his head. No, he didn’t, he had hoped he could, but he should have realised. No one wanted him, no one would ever love him. The only woman that had ever shown him love had double crossed him and was waiting to drive off taking his beautiful girl from him and out of his
life.

“I have to go Eric, I’m sorry but it’s over. I had fun.” Natasha’s voice cut through his thoughts, her words like salt rubbed into an open wound. It was over? She had fun? Fuck, that’s all it had been to her, fun? Just a good old fuck and now she was movi
ng on?

The pain lancing through his body was like having knives slicing into him and he looked down at his arms almost expecting to see bleeding cuts all over his body but of course, there were none. The knives were all inside, slowly, slicing their way through his
heart.

He could feel the pain being overshadowed with anger again at her calm dismissal of their time together. Hell he was all over the place emotionally right now. He was like a fucking roller coaster with his highs and lows, so much so, he was making himself dizzy. “You had fun? Well that’s just fucking great Natasha. I’m so pleased that you had fun.” His voice dripped with sarcasm and suddenly he wanted to hurt her as much as she was hurting him. “Well go then, fuck off, I don’t give a fuck, ok?” He backed away from th
e car.

Maggie approached him and put her hand up to touch his cheek. Eric flinched from her touch, anger in his eyes when he looked at her. “Don’t you be a fool lad and let your past screw up your future. Just give the lass some time. Let her go and you take this time to think about what you want. Not everything is as it seems.” She tol
d him.

Eric looked at her wondering what the hell she was going on about. The only thing clear to him was Maggie was taking Natasha away from him and the pain of her betrayal was as bad as losing the woman he loved. “What the fuck does that mean Maggie? You’re talking in damned riddles. Take her, you’d better get going.” He snapped and without waiting to see them drive off, he turned and walked into the house, hearing Maggie’s door open as she got back into the car and the engine start up but he wouldn’t look
back.

He stepped into the house that suddenly seemed to have no life. All was quiet but everywhere Eric looked he could see Natasha, hear her laughter, her voice teasing him when he’d had the floral oven mitts on, her cries as she’d climax, her soft moans when they were making love and he felt tears welling in his eyes as reality came crashing down around his shou
lders.

He heard the sound of Maggie’s 4WD drive off and he listened, frozen, unable to move, not even breathing, until he couldn’t hear the engine any more. Natasha was gone. The only woman he had ever cared about, the only woman he had ever loved was
gone.

Staggering, using the kitchen counter to brace himself on, Eric stumbled towards the stairs. Maybe upstairs he could escape the echoes of Natasha’s voice. When he finally made it up to the bedroom and his eyes fell on the bed, the image of her lying there sobbing from when he’d tormented her all day with the egg hit him and he clutched at his heart as pain lanced through him
again.

He walked over to the bed, his body aching, hunched over like an old man, everything blurred from the tears that were threatening to well over and run down his face. He bent down, picking up the pillow from the bed that Natasha had slept on and held it to face, breathing in deeply, the scent of her shampoo filling his nos
trils.

That was all it took, the tears began to flow faster and heavier and like a broken man, Eric dropped to his knees on the floor by the bed. His arms wrapped tightly around Natasha’s pillow and with his head buried in it, his shoulders shook and raw, sobs erupted from him, dragged up from the pit of his stomach as he gave in to the utter desolation and heart break that threatened to destroy him. He wept like he hadn’t wept since his childhood as he sat on the floor, his arms around the pillow which was quickly becoming wet under his cheek and he rocked gently while the pain of all he had lost ravaged his body. He sobbed noisy, gut wrenching, stomach turning sobs as he sat on the floor alone, heart broken, shat
tered.

He hurt, he hurt so badly he wasn’t sure he could come back from this. He’d been here before when he was a child and he thought he’d got past ever having to endure this level of pain again, but he’d weakened, he’d given in to his desire to have Natasha and done the very thing he had spent years trying to avoid, he’d gone after a woman who was nothing like the cold, self centred women he normally favoured who he knew would never own his heart. She had wormed her way in and within just a few days, she had become the centre of his world and look where he wa
s now?

His heart was shattered, his body a mass of pain, his mind tortured with a mix of memories of his time with her and painful memories from his past meshing together as if trying to test his sanity. With every sob that ripped through his body, every hateful, cruel word his father threw at him filled his head, every day of pain he’d felt when he wasn’t enough for his mother and now each wonderful moment he’d spent with Natasha and the endless days, weeks, months of heartache that he was facing made him sob harder. He had nothing left, he was broken, he no longer felt like he had anything to look forward to, nothing to live for and he knew, he had hit rock b
ottom.

Eric wasn’t sure how long he sat there, huddled over the pillow but finally his tears slowed and he sucked in a shuddering deep breath. He had to get out of here. There was no reason to stay any longer. This house that normally was a place of peace and tranquillity to him, now mocked him with images of Natasha wherever he l
ooked.

Slowly he climbed to his feet, feeling weak and unsteady. His stomach rolled over and he felt nauseous. Dropping the pillow, he half ran, half staggered for the bathroom as bile burned the back of his throat. He only just made it to the toilet and got the seat up before he emptied the contents of his stomach into the bowl, retching over and over until there was nothing left and he was reduced to the painful dry convulses of a stomach that had nothing more to
give.

With his throat burning from the acids he’d brought up and his eyes streaming, he turned to reach for the roll of toilet paper so he could blow his nose and wipe at his sore eyes and it was then that his eyes fell on something in the bin. It was the pregnancy
test.

Quickly he blew his nose and with shaking hands reached down to extract it from the bin. It was upside down so he turned it over his eyes focussing on the two little blue lines. Natasha had said it was negative and suddenly he had a need to confirm that for hi
mself.

He pulled out the long narrow box and just managed to read the directions written on it despite his vision still being slightly blurry from his tears. Immediately his heart thudded heavily in his chest. What the fuck? To be sure he wasn’t imagining things, he read over the instructions again and studied the test strip in his
hand.

As the reality of what he was seeing began to seep in the pain in his chest faded and burning anger took over. Natasha had lied to him. Fuck her, she had fucking lied to him. There was no doubt in his mind now. It was all there for him to see in front of him. Two blue lines was positive. She was pregnant and she had fucking lied to him. He didn’t know why but he sure as hell intended to fin
d out.

With the test strip jammed in his jeans pocket, he rushed back downstairs to find his mobile phone. He quickly put the call through that he wanted to fly out from Launceston Airport some time today. Arrangements were made to have the company jet ready, but it would still be about 4 hours before he could leave the State. It wasn’t ideal since he was suddenly eager to get back, but at least it was going to be today. He needed to get to Natasha so he could confront her as to why she’d lied and see what her intentions were. Fuck, would she have an abortion? He hoped not, but he had to get to her as quickly as he
could.

He called to arrange for the limo to pick him up in 2 hours time and once he was off the phone he went and pulled out his bags to start packing. His unexpected discovery of Natasha’s condition had lifted his mood a little. Anger over her deception had become his main focus rather than dwelling on the pain of not having her for himself an
ymore.

Once he was packed, he walked through the house checking each room to make sure neither he nor Natasha had left anything behind. Satisfied that he had everything and not able to find anything of hers, he knew he had to go over to Maggie and Tom’s house to speak to her. He was still furious with her for siding with Natasha and he needed to know if Maggie had known about the preg
nancy.

He left his bags in the house since it was a bit over an hour before the limo was due to come and take him to the airport and hopped in the Ferrari for the drive next
door.

When he pulled up out the front of Maggie and Tom’s house they were sitting out on the front verandah of their home. They both stood up when he approached and Eric could see the tension on their faces. Maggie had good fucking reason to look tense. He was still so pissed with her for her hand in taking Natasha from him. He didn’t understand why she would help someone she’d only just met and turn her back on the person she had known for several decades, that she had cared for like a son but when it really came down to it, when he could have needed her help the most, she did like everyone else in his life, she turned her back o
n him.