Ten (My Brothers Best Friend) (3 page)

Dalton’s eyes bulged slightly. He stepped away from me and I hated my brother in that moment. He was thirteen and going through a phase where he was beginning to date girls, so he thought all boys thought about girls in the same way he did. As playthings.

Jonah and Dalton stood at the same height, and I would have guessed Dalton was the same age as Jonah, but age doesn’t matter when it comes to fate, and in a few years that gap wouldn’t seem so glaring.

When my Dad came home and informed Mom our street had gained a Moore instead of losing one, and the reason he was there, she forbid both Jonah and I to have anything to do with the new boy. Jonah wasn’t one for following rules, and I followed his lead. There was nothing that would keep me from Dalton. I was infatuated.

Things got better for me when Dalton moved in across the street. He and Jonah got on brilliantly and eventually Jonah trusted Dalton around me and let me tag along with them when they went out on their bikes, or swimming in the lake. We were a trio and I loved it, because even that young, I loved Dalton Moore more than I loved anything. He made me laugh with his cute humor and mannerisms. He was caring and gentle, with a beautiful nature. Generous and gracious was part of Dalton’s daily routine. Despite how rude my Mom could be, he always had a smile and a polite word for her.

He worked hard in school and was a huge hockey fan. He played for our school team and took it insanely seriously. That was his dream - to leave the Moore name behind him and have a professional hockey career. He was good enough for that, too. Jonah also played on the team but was more a relaxed player, skipping practices, and trying to encourage Dalton to do the same, but Dalton was extremely focused. When he wasn’t consumed with practice he spent all of his time with us, and I craved his company. When I wasn’t around him for a long period of time, I became sullen and lonely, which I know isn’t healthy, but it was just the way he made me feel when I was around him. He was like the sun, and I was a flower waiting to bloom in his presence.

There were times when I wasn’t allowed to go with them on some of the boy trips, and it felt like torture. My hormones in disarray, it made me mad at Jonah for making me a loner. I should have had girlfriends to do things with, but I didn’t. I had those two and no one else.

Jonah used to sneak out at night and climb the big tree outside Dalton’s bedroom window. I hated when he did that. I could see Dalton’s room from my own and we spent many nights writing messages to each other by holding up pieces of paper with words written in bold black marker, but on the nights Jonah climbed that tree, moments later they would both climb back down and be gone for the night. I never knew where they went or what they got up to, but I was jealous I wasn’t involved.

“Y
OU’RE YOUNGER THAN US,
A
LEX. THERE’S THINGS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND YET, AND THINGS
I
DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT.”

Dalton’s words hurt because I knew what those things were. Lisa Marie made it her mission to let the whole female population of our school know she used to meet up with Dalton, that she was his girlfriend and they did things, things I was too young to do for him. It slashed at me like a whip every time I heard the rumors. One night I saw her outside his house. She was giggling, trying to climb the tree up to his room - the tree he had been teaching me to climb. My heart felt heavy in my chest. Emotions are so intensified when you’re young. It felt like the world would end on so many occasions through my awkward years, waiting to be old enough for Dalton. He angrily shouted down at her from his window, and then seconds later appeared at his door, hurrying her inside. I hid behind my curtain when I felt his eyes scan my window. I was twelve and heartbroken. My soul suffered so much in the early years; it was scratching to tear from my body and rush to him. I wanted to be old enough for him. I would have let him do anything he wanted with me, old enough or not. I was his and he mine.

I’d asked him if the rumors were true, and he stroked my cheek and laughed.

“D
ON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING GIRLS TALK ABOUT,
A
LEX, BUT BELIEVE ME WHEN
I
TELL YOU THAT WHEN YOU’RE OLD ENOUGH,
I
’M GOING TO MARRY YOU.”

My spirit felt lighter at his words but soon grew heavy when Jonah walked up behind me, and Dalton snatched his hand back so fast it was as if my flesh rebuked him. His friendship with Jonah was more important to him than us being together. I’d waited so patiently and feared I’d always be waiting for Dalton Moore to really see me.

I made it my mission to learn how to climb that damn tree, and to never let Jonah stop me from marrying Dalton Moore.

I
quickly shake away the memories trying to drown me and slide the windows wide to get some air in this place. All the furniture is the same, only more worn.
How could we have left him like this?

I notice one of Dad’s sweaters on the back of his armchair and a tear leaks onto my cheek. My feet carry me across the room and I pick it up, inhaling his scent.
It smells the same as he always did.
This was going to be harder than I first thought. I wish I’d taken Leon up on his offer to come with me. I met him when I moved into my apartment building; he was my neighbor, and extremely loud. I’d put up with the music for the first couple of nights, but by night three I was going to tear my hair out. I banged so hard on his wall that he came to my door carrying the broken picture that had fallen at the vibrations of my fist. My hair was all over the place and I was wearing odd PJs with no bra underneath, and I only had on one sock. The smirk on his face made my blood boil. I was sleep deprived and exhausted.

“You know, you could have just knocked and asked me to keep it down.” His brow rose with a cocky charm. His eyes were a cinnamon chocolate color, cased in thick, dark lashes. He was fully dressed in jeans and a hoody with “4am wakeup call” slashed across the front.

“I didn’t think you’d hear me over the noise,” I all but growled at him.

“But hammering on the wall and shouting, and I quote, ‘
Shut the hell up or I’m going to stick that guitar where the sun doesn’t shine, mister,’ y
ou thought I’d hear just fine?”

I shrugged a shoulder, a little embarrassed at my actions and attire.

“Well, clearly you did.” A yawn erupted from my mouth at the end of my sentence, causing a chuckle to bubble up through his.

“Listen, I had no idea anyone had moved in here. I’ve been living here alone for months. I’ll keep the noise down if you promise to keep from ruining anymore pictures, deal?”

“Deal, and I’ll replace your frame.” I grabbed the picture from him and shut the door before he could react. I didn’t want him to think I was a bad neighbor, and I hated that I’d broken someone else’s property.

I replaced the frame the next day and left it for him outside his apartment so I didn’t have to see him again; I was still a little embarrassed. He thanked me by leaving a bottle of wine outside my door. I plucked up the courage to come out of my shell and knocked on his door to ask if he wanted to share a glass with me so we could have a fresh start. We became great friends and have been for years now, but as with most things, I had to go and mess it up. Everything is complicated now.

I’d let the grief of Dad’s passing overwhelm me. I gave in to the affection he’d shown me. We slept together and then I left to come straight here before talking about what happened. I was a selfish bitch. I know Leon has more than friendly feelings for me, and after seven years of not acting on them, he made a move when I was in a vulnerable state, and I scavenged for it like a starved-for-affection ho. Now things are awkward, or they will be when I have to talk to him next. The truth is I can’t be without him. He’s my rock and I need him
. We
need him so this is going to have to be handled delicately.

So you run away without speaking to him?

Damn, I hate my conscience.

This place is disgusting, I need to at least clean a bedroom and a bathroom before anything else, so I have somewhere to sleep and shower. Looking under the basin where cleaning supplies should be, I’m not surprised to find nothing but an old bucket and a plunger. I’ll have to go to the store, which, considering how hungry I am isn’t a bad thing.

As I leave the house, my feet still. Dalton’s old home directly opposite is in perfect view and memories threaten to rip my heart from my chest once again. The garden is kept tidy and groomed and the paintwork is fresh. The sight of the tall tree to the side of the house nearly makes my knees buckle.

“You can totally climb it, Alex. Be brave. I won’t let you fall.”

But he did let me fall. He let me fall in love, and although I was just a child in the eyes of my parents, I’ve never known a feeling like it since. It’s still there under all of the damage, thumping a soft thud, waiting to be awakened again.

I wonder who lives there now.

The drive into town is full of nostalgia. Everything is the same, but different in subtle ways. The car lot has a new name, and the cinema now stretches across two shop fronts instead of just one, but it’s still where I grew up. I can almost feel the fifteen-year-old me tearing out of my skin, asking for a do over. I hate living with regret, but I do, and it’s toxic inside me.

By the time I pull into the store parking lot, the sun is beginning to set, causing a warm orange glow to cast over the entire town. This time of night always reminds me of the long summer nights, riding our bikes and believing the world was made for us, and that dreams were free. Dreams are not free, and they cost us dearly.

I recognize the cashier as soon as I load my groceries onto the checkout counter. We went to school together. Lacy Holbrook - she was ditzy and fun in class, but we didn’t hang out much outside of school. She had a crush on Jonah, who embarrassed her at a party by letting her give him oral sex and then later that night, he slept with her best friend. She cried right in front of him and he cruelly laughed at her. He was so mean to girls. He used them freely because most offered themselves that way. He had no respect for girls apart from me, and that gave him a bad boy reputation, and me the reputation of the bad boy’s goody-two-shoes little sister. I didn’t date, not that I could have with Jonah as a brother, but it was because I was in love with Dalton. I didn’t have many people who really called me a friend, but Lacy, despite the way Jonah treated her, was nice to me and let me sit with her at lunch, and partner up with her for studying when the age barrier didn’t come in to play.