The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Sex Toys

BOOK: The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Sex Toys
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Table of Contents
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Acknowledgments
Thanks, love, and admiration as always go to Frédérique Delacoste and Felice Newman for making this book possible and for giving me their unending support in all my endeavors. My deepest feelings are reserved for my family—Survival Research Laboratories and Mark Pauline. My love always belongs to my close friends: Courtney, Thomas, Annalisa, Xeni, Simone, Chriso, and everyone else who touches my heart. You know who you are.
Chapter 1
Basic Models, and Care and Feeding of Your Toys
I
f we approached the world of sex toys as a scientist might, classifying toys by purpose, species, and effectiveness, we might go a very long time until our next orgasm. Sure, in its broadest definition, anything can be a
sex toy
—because any object, image, or thing used for erotic stimulation could legitimately be called a sex toy. But an object's erotic potential lies in the eye of the beholder. Toys and novelties made for the express purpose of sexual gratification are a wild and woolly category of creatures, ranging from the practical and reliable to the outrageous, silly, sometimes dangerous, and occasionally deliciously decadent.
While sex toys have been around for centuries, appreciating the modern selection of toys you can find online and in your local sex shops requires only a minimal understanding of recent developments in sex toy evolution.
Plainly put, there are
novelties
…and then there are toys made for sex. Confused? Most sex toys that you'll find in garden-variety retail sex toy stores are created, marketed, and sold “for novelty use only,” meaning that while the toy companies explicitly know
that people are using their toys for sex, they sell them categorized as novelties. Why they do this is anyone's guess; perhaps it's so they can avoid responsibility for faulty merchandise, as many sex toys are made poorly (almost all novelty sex toys are made cheaply in Chinese factories), or perhaps it's so they can make outrageous claims on the packaging and marketing materials; in some U.S. states where sex toys are against the law to sell, distribute, or own, this may also be a way to circumvent legalities about products intended for sexual gratification.
Novelty sex toys are the most widely available, as they have a virtual stranglehold on American distribution, and they are the least expensive. In practical terms, this is not such a bad thing. You'll find the widest selection and best prices in the novelty toy market, making these toys a great way to try new things without breaking the bank; to get a certain size, shape, or functionality you desire; or to find that exact shade of pink you prefer. Novelties often feature the latest innovations in design and use—but also tend to break easily. Some are made with noxious materials, and some are shipped already defective but with user-unfriendly return policies. Technically speaking, novelties aren't made for sex, though they can conjure up an orgasm pretty well. Identifying these toys in stores is easy, as they have the most polished or garish (and sometimes offensive) packaging, the phrase “for novelty use” is printed somewhere on the package, and they typically come from companies such as Doc Johnson, Vibratex, Pipedream, or Adam and Eve. In any case, it's always “buyer beware” when you purchase a sex toy, and nowhere else is it more essential for you as consumer to be prepared with knowledge about the products, even before plunking down a few bucks on a plastic discount vibrator.
Not all sex toys are sold as novelties. Toys marketed as sex toys come from independent manufacturers and are created with the consumer's pleasure as their express purpose. A growing number of high-quality sex toy companies do business in the United States and in the U.K., and many seem to prize sexual health and pleasure as the key building blocks of both their businesses and their products. Many of these companies are women-owned, though many have not yet broken into the “old boys' network” of distribution to novelty stores. You can find products—or rather, “pleasure instruments”—from Tantus, Vixen Creations, Fun Factory, and Sportsheets mostly online and in “women-friendly” stores and sex toy boutiques that hand-pick their product selections. These companies have raised the bar on what people expect when they plunk down their hard-earned cash for something nice to shove up their asses.
So there are novelties, and there are sex toys, or “pleasure instruments,” and you can expect to find many of both types displayed side-by-side at reputable retailers. Sometimes you'll even see novelty toy manufacturers making products that are similar to sex toys; the decision to buy a novelty (or not) is simply a question of quality, price, and convenience. Know what you're looking for, and what you'll likely encounter online and in stores, and you'll be a smart customer—and, in the end, a satisfied one.
Vibrators
Nowhere is the world of sex toys more exciting and diverse than with vibrators. It's safe to say that if you can imagine it, someone somewhere has made a vibrator out of it. You can find vibrators that mount on your tongue or fit on the end of your
finger, or resemble whimsical waterproof rubber duckies, and even penises.
It's safe to say that the most iconic vibrator is the rocket-shaped Slimline vibe. It's the model that most people imagine when they think of the word
vibrator
. It's been featured since the 1970s in magazine back page ads for “massagers” and in countless porn films. And it's a classic for a reason: It's a really solid vibrator, still outselling its younger, more modern counterparts. The Slimline is a plastic cylinder with a narrow tip; it comes in a variety of sizes, from keychain-sized to 9 inches long, and it typically has a variable-speed dial. Made of hard plastic, it's terrific for external stimulation or firm internal penetration, and it tends to have a healthy lifespan. You'll be glad to know that hard plastic vibes amplify vibration, making them stronger vibrators than their rubber- or silicone-encased counterparts, whose softer materials absorb vibration.
 
Illus. 1: Vibrators
Batteries and Vibrators
Battery-powered vibes typically run on AA, AAA, C, or watch batteries. For stronger vibrations, pop in fresh batteries; already-used ones provide a lighter buzz. Always wash your hands after handling batteries. To prolong the life of vibrator and batteries, remove the batteries when not in use. Double that precaution before an airplane trip; no one wants an accidentally turned-on vibe buzzing in their suitcase when navigating the airport security lines.
Another common vibrator is the egg, or bullet, vibe. These look just like their namesakes and usually have a cord trailing out of one end attached to a controller containing the batteries and the on/off (or adjustable) power switch. These are primarily vibes only for external use, meant for clitoral stimulation. Some people do insert these, though it's not recommended because pulling on the cord (like a tampon) for retrieval is a shaky situation with these cheaply made vibes, since the cord may unexpectedly detach form the bullet, leaving it inside. Some bullet vibes have advanced controllers with programmable microchips, and, while on the pricey side, they're worth it for
the extremely arousing range of pulses, beats, variations, and roller-coaster effects that they deliver.
Hand-held vibes come in varieties too numerous to list here, but models of interest include the Pocket Rocket, the Hitachi Magic Wand, the Tongue, and the ergonomic Natural Contours. The Pocket Rocket is a simple, one-speed, finger-sized external vibe marketed for acupressure; it fits neatly in a purse or pocket (hence the name). Electric Hitachi Magic Wands are considered the strongest vibrators available; their tennis-ball head nestles nicely between the thighs for blissful external stimulation, and some sex toy companies have created attachments to give the Hitachi an insertable extension. The Tongue frankly looks like a chicken cutlet, but it's a battery-powered, adjustable-speed vibe made to mimic a tongue performing oral sex. And the woman-created Natural Contours line of hand-held battery vibes come in a range of styles and shapes, fit nicely into the shape of your hand, and look more like plastic art objects than vibrators.
BOOK: The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Sex Toys
8.22Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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