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Authors: Jill Shalvis

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BOOK: The Bachelor's Bed
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Lani set down her things and took the bottled water he handed her, gratefully running the bottle over her hot forehead.
What was she going to say to his family?
Would she convince them? “Thanks,” she said lightly. “Whew, it's a scorcher, isn't it?”

“What's all this?” He looked at her plants as if they held the plague.

“I know they're drooping,” she said a little defensively, stroking one sagging leaf. “But they're just hot. I thought your kitchen window would be perfect for them. All that empty space.”

That unsettling gaze of his switched to her, and for once he wasn't so difficult to read.

He was afraid she was forgetting again.

“You know,” she said evenly, holding on to her temper. “That's getting annoying.”

“This is just—”

“Temporary,”
she finished for him, rolling her eyes. “Look, are you going to remind me of that every single moment of every day?”

“Just until I'm sure you remember,” he murmured, taking the water bottle from her fingers and opening it for her. Gently he brought it to her lips where she took a long, grateful sip. “You look hot.”

“I brought more clothes. Is that going to scare you, too?”

“I'm not scared of you.”

The heat really wasn't good for her disposition. Nor was looking at him all calm and collected while she was still sticky as hell and feeling as though she was dissolving. “Could have fooled me.”

“Lani, my mother is
here.
In the next room. Are you going to do this or not?”

That was it. She didn't know if it was the temperature or just Colin annoying her all to hell, but her patience was gone. “I keep telling you I'm not going to back out! Jeez, you think you can't trust anyone.”

His eyes flashed with warning, but she was good and hot and hungry, all things which had her spoiling for a fight. “No matter how grumpy and difficult you are, Colin—”

“I'm not grumpy,
you
are.”

“Let's not go there, all right? I'm not going to leave you hanging. Got it?”

“Fine,” he bit out. “And I'm ever so grateful.” At her rough laugh, he gritted his teeth. “But if you're not going to back out, why do you keep baiting me?”

“Because you're easy.”

He stared at her. “I'm— What the hell does that mean?”

“Nothing.” It was irrational, but desire flooded Lani at Colin's frustration. He honestly didn't understand, or trust, her loyalty. It was infuriating. “You might have come up with a solution to your prob
lem, Colin, namely,
me.
But I'm not some puzzle you can solve and then just forget about.”

He blinked. “Are you speaking English?”

She threw up her hands. “You're impossible.”

They were nose to nose now, and Lani had to admit she was enjoying the sparks flying from his eyes, because while they'd started out full of temper, they'd gone to something much hotter.

“I have feelings,” she whispered. “And you have the singularly annoying ability to hurt them.”

He put his big hands on her shoulders, squeezed lightly and drew her up close. “I have feelings, too.”

“I never meant to hurt you.” Her voice had lowered, gone husky, but she couldn't help it. The very tips of her breasts brushed his chest and suddenly she was much, much hotter.

So was he, given the low, harsh breath he let out.

“Colin…about the other night.”

“When you had your dream.”

“Yes.” She licked her suddenly dry lips. “I don't suppose it's asking too much to know if you…uh, if you've…you know, changed your mind about going to the store?”

“For?”

“Supplies?”

He actually blushed.


You're
embarrassed?” she asked, shaking her head. “I'm the one that can't even say…
you know.

“Condoms?”

Now she blushed. “Yeah.”

He ran his thumb over her lower lip, mesmerized at the movement. “I went to the store.”

All sorts of wicked, inappropriate thoughts danced in her head. Anticipation tingled through her body, but he sounded less than thrilled. “You didn't want to.”

“No, but it wasn't my brain doing the thinking at the time.”

As he spoke, their bodies touched and an electrical current ran through them.

“Is that a bad thing?” she asked. “Not thinking with your brain?”

He made a little sound, a growl of both frustration and reluctant pleasure. “It's damn suicidal. We're so attracted to each other, Lani. It's out of control. It's crazy.” He sucked in a hoarse sigh when she toyed with the sensitive skin behind his ear. “Stop it.” He captured her hands in his and held them between their bodies, his expression nearing pain. “It is hot in here, dammit. The air isn't working.”

“It's
us,
Colin. I'm making you hot, just as you're doing the same to me. Why can't you admit that?”


Pretend.
The key word here, remember? This is supposed to be pretend.”

“Well you can't plan everything, every little detail, for your entire life. Some things just don't work that way.” He still held her hands captive. But he looked so miserable, so baffled by what was happening be
tween them. She just had to touch him. She reached up and nipped at his jaw with her mouth.

He groaned. “Dammit, stop.”

She couldn't, she felt different when she was with him. She felt good. Happy. And she knew he could feel the same way if he let himself.

What held him back?

She dragged an open-mouthed kiss down his neck, inhaling deeply his wonderful, masculine scent.

Again, he let out a rough sound of desire and helplessly pressed his hips to hers, hard. “Lani.”

“Don't fight it anymore, Colin.”

He stilled, then lifted his head and looked at her. His struggle to control his feelings was obvious. He harbored some secret pain and she wanted to share it.

“What the hell am I going to do with you?” he wondered.

Keep me,
was on the tip of her tongue. “Kiss me,” she whispered instead, leaning closer. “Kiss me like you did the other night.”

He let out a rough groan and dropped his forehead to hers. “That's going to make it worse.”

“I don't see how.”

“Lani, don't you get it? I don't want to want you.”

“Well that's a fine thing to say to your future wife.”

Colin groaned again as his mother came into the kitchen.

7

I
RENE
W
EST
was a cool, calm, beautiful, five-foot-tall sophisticate. She wore expensive-looking black tailored trousers, a matching blouse so fine and shimmery smooth it had to be made of silk, and squeaky-clean, bright white tennis shoes. The latter immediately endeared her to Lani's heart.

Irene had elegant features and very chic blond hair, cut artfully to chin length. She looked unapproachable, until she smiled like a pixie.

Lani decided she was going to like her.

And what Irene said next sealed that fact.

“Kiss your fiancée, Colin,” Irene instructed. “Don't make her ask you twice, it's not gentlemanly.”

Lani grinned and tipped up her face.

Colin let out one concise, pithy word, shoved his fingers through his hair and glanced upward as if hoping for divine intervention.

“With sentiments like that one,” Irene said disapprovingly, “you'll lose her before you ever get down the aisle. And I'm very much looking forward to that so don't blow it for me. Introduce us, Colin.”

He sighed heavily, but did so, after firmly setting Lani away from him. Lani watched him slip his hands into his pockets and knew a surge of satisfaction.

He didn't trust himself not to touch her.

Even if that urge to touch was really a need to strangle her, she'd take it as a good sign.

Without a shy bone in her body, Irene smiled warmly at Lani. “I'm so happy to meet you.” Her eyes held exasperated affection when she turned her fond smile on Colin. “I was becoming more and more certain I would never have the pleasure.”

“You weren't going to give up until you did,” Colin said dryly.

“Well somebody had to see to your happiness. I would have labored until doomsday, if needed.”

Colin shot Lani a look that said,
see why we're doing this?

Lani smiled. She thought it was cute and touching how important Colin was to Irene. But she was also beginning to understand Colin's desperate measures to ensure his privacy.

She waited for mother and son to hug, but strangely enough, they didn't. This disturbed Lani, because one of the things she remembered and missed most about her family was the physical affection.

Moving close enough to grasp Irene's hand, Lani
wrapped an arm around the woman and gave a light squeeze. “Very lovely to meet you.”

“Oh,” Irene whispered softly, touching Lani's face gently. “You're so sweet.”

Colin frowned.

Irene ignored her son and the silent, unmistakable tension between him and Lani, her sharp yet eager eyes frankly devouring her future daughter-in-law.

Feeling a little bit on display, Lani was painfully aware of the picture she made. Self-consciously, she stroked her wild hair, trying unsuccessfully to tame it, wishing she'd combed it through. She wore little or no makeup and grungy clothes. She'd not dressed for this. For one thing, she didn't have anything suitable. And secondly, she hadn't thought of it. Why hadn't this scene occurred to her? In all her justifying of
why
she was helping Colin, in all her denials that this was nothing more than wanting to see his project completed, she'd never pictured an actual meeting with his family.

Somehow, she'd thought she would have more time. More preparation.

Actually, Lani admitted, she hadn't wanted to think about it, hadn't wanted to wonder if she'd be accepted, if she'd fit in.

Would his mother approve? After all, Lani was nothing more than a housecleaner, without social standing. She knew Colin had grown up with class and money. He'd probably had a maid, a nanny, a
cook, and she'd had nothing but her great-aunt Jennie and the occasional séance.

Uncomfortable, she tugged at her ragged T-shirt, stroked a hand down her rough overalls. And wished with all her might for elegant sophistication.

“Did you work today?” Irene asked her politely.

The woman's gaze easily met Lani's and, though there was no censure there, Lani still felt it. She knew Irene was far too cultured to let her true feelings show, and certainly she had to have feelings about her son marrying someone like Lani. For the first time in Lani's life, shame filled her at her choice of a career. “Yes, I did.”

Irene's features softened. Her smile was warm. “Well then you must be very tired. And here I am keeping you on your feet.”

Surprise hit Lani first, then such an overwhelming gratitude she felt her eyes sting. How easy it would be to pretend this
was
real, that she really cared about what Colin's mother thought of her. But it wasn't, and it never would be. She had a job to do—convince this woman that she loved her son. Then get out of Colin's life. He would be free of hassles and she would be free to get on with her own life, happy and secure in the knowledge that she'd both helped mankind and had taken a risk for the first time in too long.

But the pathetic truth was she
did
care, about both Colin
and
what his mother thought. There was noth
ing she could do to stop it, not when her heart had already made the decision.

Irene pushed Lani into a chair and softened the wordless demand by saying kindly, “Would you like some iced tea?”

Colin was watching her, his eyes back to their inscrutable depths. What was he thinking? she wondered wildly. Was he worried she would fail?

Was he sorry he'd ever recruited her in the first place?

“Yes, please,” she said to Irene. “But I can get it.”

“No, please, let me,” Irene insisted.

She looked at Colin when his mother turned her back to get the tea, fussing at her clothes, pushing at her hair, desperate for a sign that she was doing okay.

Colin's long arm reached out and gently, almost tenderly, he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. His lips softened, so did his eyes, and he whispered for her ears alone, “I like the way you look, all flustered and mussed up.”

Torn between pleasure at his words—
he liked the way she looked?
—and horror that she looked mussed, she bit her lip.

Colin laughed softly. “Stop it. You look…”

Their gazes met.

His breath caught.

So did hers. “I look…?”

“So pretty,” came his soft, husky voice, so silky and light it felt like an embrace.

Startled, Lani blushed. “I…do?”

“Lemon in your tea, Lani?” Irene whirled back from the refrigerator. She smiled at the sight of Colin clearly doting on Lani.

“Please,” Lani managed, her gaze never leaving Colin's. “Lemon would be great.”

Colin didn't smile. His eyes gave nothing away except for that flash of recognition of what stood between them.

She wanted to touch him again, assure herself he was really there and for a little while, hers.

What was happening? This wasn't just a physical yearning, it went much deeper. And suddenly, the truth hit her. She wasn't capable of making up the feelings that he required for this silly pretense, not when the feelings were becoming real.

As if he could read her disturbing thoughts, Colin's eyes shuttered against her. He leaned back against the counter, his rugged body moving with easy, economical grace.

Oblivious to the arrow-taut tension between them, Irene was a study in movement, never standing still as she got a tray, some glasses, sliced a lemon and continued to talk without a breath. “I can only imagine how overwhelming this all is to you, Lani. Getting married! My, there's just so much to do, so much
to think about. I hope you'll let me and my sisters help you, we just can't wait.”

Colin, still watching Lani, finally let a smile touch his lips. “Did I mention how wildly enthusiastic my mother would be? Let's hope she tells the entire world so everyone will be sure to stop calling and telling me I need a date.”

“Oh, you,” Irene shook her head. “Stay out of this. I'm having a talk with my future daughter-in-law.”

Maybe it was the title, or it might have been the sincere, warm, fondness in which Irene spoke, but at his mother's bubbly happiness, Colin's smile slowly faded.

It was replaced by worry, guilt, regret. And Lani felt every one of those emotions as well.

“I've so looked forward to this,” Irene said, laughing.

Colin actually winced at that, and, at his obvious misery at having to lie, Lani's heart ached.

She reached for his hand. At the touch, he jerked in response, but he didn't pull away. She considered that great progress. “It's lovely that you came to visit, Mrs. West—”

“Oh, but you mustn't sound so formal! Please, call me Irene.” She tossed a grin over her shoulder and looked twenty years younger. “Or Mom, if you think you can manage.”

Mom.
How many years had she wished for such a woman in her life? To be so freely given one now,
when it was all just a hoax, seemed cruel. Sitting there between Colin, the man of her dreams, and his mother, a sweet, kind woman so full of heart, Lani wasn't sure she could pull it off.

“It's almost too good to believe.” Irene was watching them closely. “Are you sure you're going to marry my son?”

“I—” Startled by the question, Lani looked at Colin.
She'd promised.
This predicament was her own doing now. But to out-and-out lie…. She'd not imagined how it would make her feel. “Yes, I want to marry your son,” she said, and to Lani's relief, Irene accepted that.

“Good.” Satisfied, Irene turned back to the counter.

It was hard to think with the weight of the lie dragging at her. Some of her happiness drained. Colin lifted her chin with a finger, looking deeply into her eyes with gratitude, and for the life of her, she couldn't turn away.

“Mom,” he said quietly, still watching Lani, “I know you just got here, but I really need a moment alone with Lani.”

“Oh! Of course.” Irene smiled slyly as she wiped her hands on a towel. “She just got home and you haven't seen her all day. What was I thinking? I understand what young love is like.” With a dramatic sigh, her expression turned dreamy. “And I can't tell
you how wonderful it is to know that you've found that kind of true passion, Son.”

The remorse and sorrow on Colin's face matched that in Lani's heart. How could they continue to do this? How could they lie to this woman?

“Well at least I know I can stop trying to help you find it,” Irene said. “I can't tell you what a relief that is to me.”

“Or me,” Colin murmured.

Irene backed to the door, watching them with such affection that Lani felt like slime. “I'll just run upstairs and tell Bessie and Lola you're here.” She grinned again. “My sisters are dying to meet you.”

“Can you hold them off a few minutes?” Colin asked. He gestured to Lani. “I need—”

“Oh, Colin.” Irene sighed wistfully, her hand over her heart. “Just to hear you say it. That you
need.
It's so beautiful. I've never known you to need anyone at all, not me, not your father, not friends or even a woman. You've always been so self-sufficient.”

And alone,
Lani thought. Could she fix that for him? Could she teach him the joys of true love, even when she didn't know them herself?

Irene turned to Lani. “In just a few short moments, you've given me such pleasure, you'll never know.”

“I'm glad,” Lani whispered, guilt tugging at her.

“Oh, we're going to have the most wonderful time.” Irene's eyes lit up. “We'll throw you an en
gagement party next weekend. Of course, everyone will come.”

Colin looked decidedly
not
excited. “Wait a minute—”

“No, don't thank me, darling.” She grinned. “I insist.” Then she was gone.

The silence in the kitchen was deafening.

Colin made no move to break it. Feeling awkward and uncertain, Lani moved around the table. She lifted her pathetic-looking plants and arranged them in the window.

Silly as it was, the kitchen instantly seemed homier. Happier. She hoped they lived.

Behind her, Colin still didn't speak.

The quiet grew until she couldn't stand it. “I'm sorry,” she said finally.

“She's going to get hurt.
Dammit.
” Colin paced the length of the kitchen, eating up the wide open space with his long, restless legs.

“Well, what did you think would happen?”

When Colin whipped around to face her, his dismay and shock evident, she shook her head and laughed. “Come on, Colin. You must have thought about what would happen after your project was finished. About how we'd end this. How she'd feel when I go back to my life.”

Back to her life.
Just the words brought a melancholy she didn't want to face.

Colin looked stunned.

“You didn't,” she breathed. “You, Mr. Planner, Mr. Organization. You never thought about the end.”

“I only thought about getting left alone.” He looked disgusted with himself. “And having the phone calls stop. Ending the parade of blind dates.” He swore softly before looking at her miserably. “This can't go on. I can't do it. Not to her and not to you.”

“I'm okay, Colin.”

“It's not fair.”

He was going to call it all off. And she'd have to go back to being…without him. “You can't tell her now,” she said much more casually than she felt. “It's too late. She'll get hurt either way, Colin. You might as well finish your project.”

“I'm so close,” he said wistfully. “So close.”

Though she was beginning to understand that there would always be a project for Colin, each more important than the last, she accepted that. “The pretense is set,” she said quietly. “You need time for yourself, and now you've got it. I'll keep them busy while they're here over the next few weeks. You just work as hard as you can, and get your project done. We'll face what happens afterward later.”

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