The Bond That Built Us (9 page)

“Who are you apologizing to, exactly?
I would think we deserve a little more than a choked out response,” MJ spits.

“Can I talk to you, in private, Aubrey?” She stares at me and doesn’t move initially. She is sitting at the end of the couch with her legs tucked up and arms wrapped around them and her chin on her knees. Finally she untangles herself and walks out the back door to the deck.

When I step out, she is sitting in the same position before, but on the outdoor wicker furniture. I sit beside her and stare at my hands in my lap.

“I’m really sorry. I was really drunk and you had me so worked up all day being in your bikini that I just… I don’t know.” I pause but she doesn’t respond. “I know I told you that you could stay in my bed with me and when I woke up this morning that was the first thing that I thought of, how much of a jerk I was to you.”
She still sits in silence. She is staring out into the little yard. “Say something, please.”

When she finally does speak, her voice is raspy.
“What I don’t understand, Kellan, is if it was
me
you were thinking about all day and
me
you supposedly wanted, then why did you even take her here? Knowing full well that I was going to be with you?” She is deadly calm, it is a little freaky.

I shake my head because I don’t have an answer.

“And I had to lay there on that horrible couch and listen to her squeal and yell and shit for a good hour, when all I wanted to do was go up there and take her by the throat and kick her out on her naked ass.” She should have. I totally would have let her. “I am so used to being numb and dead inside so my feelings don’t come up, but the second I saw you it all started coming back. I got my attitude and my energy back.

“So when I felt betrayed by you last night, I almost broke down. I know we aren’t together or anything, but I really trusted you. I haven’t let anyone in for a long time and look what good it did me.”
She shakes her head, clearly disgusted with herself. It should be me she’s disgusted with.

“You can still trust me, Aubrey. I just fucked up. It was one time- that was it.”

“God, and Cara and MJ saw right through me!” Her voice rises, the anger in her voice seeping through. “They saw how much it affected me and now they won’t ever let it go. When my ex cheated on me they made fun of me for a year! They just finally got over that, and now this.”

“Aubrey, please calm down. They won’t say anything; I’ll make sure of it.”
I reach for her but she flinches and cowers away from my hand.

“You won’t be in my life after this week, Kellan. And you don’t know the kind of shit they do to tear me down. You won’t be there when they finally break me. Fuck you!” She storms back in the house, slamming the door so hard the window panels quiver in her wake.

I am frozen. I hurt her. I know she isn’t like the other girls I know, the ones that use sex as what it is, just sex. Aubrey is different. I don’t know when I got wrapped around her finger, but it fucking sucks. I never had actual feelings for a girl like this and I hate it. I hate it.

7

Aubrey

I pass everyone in the living room, avoid their stares and intruding questions and run up the stairs into the bathroom. There is a small window overlooking the backyard of the
villa and I can see pieces of the ocean between the other villas and houses.

I wish
it could wash away feelings like it did shells, swirling its power around it and dragging it in its under-toe to the depths of the sea to never see daylight again. I can’t believe I am saying this, but I wish I was still the same zombie as before. Maybe then I won’t have that pinching in my heart or the butterflies in my stomach. I stand there in the bathroom looking out the window for about a half hour, not moving.

I’ve known Kellan for, what, three days? And somehow he has gotten under my skin. Nobody has done that in four years, so what makes him so fucking special? I don’t have time to think about it as a knock at the door interrupts me.

“What?” I snap, assuming it is Cara or MJ to prod and gain intel for their persecution later.

Kellan steps through the door and shuts it behind him.
His back is pressed against the door and it causes his white t-shirt to bunch up around his stomach, showing the definition there. “Hey.” His voice is so sad.

I gulp and contemplate answering but I’ve calmed down quite a bit so I say, “Hey,” back.

“I know I already said this, but I really am sorry. I keep getting involved with your relationship with MJ and I don’t know why. I’ll stop. I feel like all we’ve done since we got here was fight.”

“I hate fighting with you,” I say honestly.

“Me, too. I promise to stop getting involved and making you mad.”

“And I promise to stop getting defensive. I know you’re doing it because you’re concerned. Thank you for that.”

A small smile tugs on one side of his mouth. “Any time. So are we good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” He smiles fully and closes the remaining distance between us and hugs me tight before I can refute.
It feels nice being in his arms, and I brush my cheek against his chest and breathe in his shirt. It smells like his cologne and for a swift moment I forget, or don’t care, about the other girl.

“Seriously, AJ, if you want to be with him you need to look the part,” MJ says through the rack of clothes. We are at a local mall, searching through the trendy outfits for something to wear tonight, New Year’s Eve. The Mexican labels are really scandalous, so naturally MJ and Cara gravitate towards them.

For some reason they want to help me. I never actually said I wanted Kellan but they see right through me. I still don’t know if I should do anything about it but if they want to dress me up like a Barbie doll then at least I won’t look like the freak they say I am.

Cara has about eight different outfits in her hands and counting. “Here,” she says and drops them in my arms. “Go start trying these on. Hopefully they fit you. If you aren’t a medium or small then you should give up now.” She digs into another rack and ignores me as I try and veto these atrocities.

“Just go, freak, or be prepared to be a single loser for the rest of your life.”

I snap the curtain shut and stare at the small room overflowing with bright clothes. One by one, I try on the outfits and some of them I immediately shed from my skin. A few I like and peek out into the hall where MJ and Cara are yapping about tonight. Of the four I show them, they like one.

“That one is better than the others. It actually makes you look
normal,” MJ says, surprised. I look down at myself and into the mirror. The purple thin material hugs my curves and the sweetheart neckline dips down so a bra is out of the question. There is a thin strap across my back to keep the dress up, but the rest of the back is exposed in a large cut-out. The skirt of the dress is short, too short for my liking. I feel like a prostitute.

It is
one of the most risqué outfits of what they grabbed me. I want to argue with them and opt for something that covers a little more skin, but I know they are right. If I want people to notice me, I need to dress for it. I’m still not sure if it is Kellan I want to notice me, but after tonight if he doesn’t then there is no point in trying. This dress screams ‘easy access, do me now.’

I chew on my lip as I hand the cashier my credit card. She eyes me suspiciously as she folds the dress up and shoves it into a bag.
It’s like she knows I’m a total fake and will look absolutely ridiculous wearing anything of the sort. I know, bitch, I will make a total ass of myself tonight. I wonder if she knows how ungraceful I will end up being in this thing. If I go the whole night without tripping and exposing my hoo-hah to every patron in the bar, I will be extremely surprised.

Back at the
villa, the girls are standing on each side of me, yanking and tugging at my hair. They haven’t insulted me since we got back, and I am caught off guard when one finally comes.

“God, AJ! Your hair is so oily. Do you ever shower?”

The truth? They came in during my shower just hours before and shut off my water, saying I took too long. So, there is still a little conditioner in my hair. “Is it that bad?” I ask.

“Well, the one good thing is it is easier to style,” MJ says then tugs abruptly on a chunk of my hair, causing my head to jerk to the side, throbbing instantly. I hiss in pain then take a big sip of my drink to preoccupy my brain. The concoction they made me is about ninety percent liquor, ten percent diet soda. The taste of it burns through my sinuses and causes my body to shudder. I’m already pretty drunk and we haven’t even left for the club yet.

By the time everyone else is ready I’m on drink number three and can barely stand on my high heels. This is going to be bad. So bad. I can hear MJ and Cara giggling behind me and whispering to each other. I think I hear my name but it might be the alcohol trying to warn me to slow the fuck down.

The way to the club is quite hilarious. I faintly remember Josh picking me up to get out of the cab because of my embarrassing display on the way in to it. Apparently Josh now knows I have on a
black thong. I am a giggling disaster and I can’t tell if MJ and Cara are laughing
with
me or
at
me.

In the club we all grab some drinks and search the place for a table. I’m wobbly on my feet and am praying there is one open. Then, like as if the heavens opened up and angels sang, I spot a booth in the corner. I sprint, whi
ch I’m sure I look more like a wounded gazelle running for my life, and slide into it. I glance down and see my skirt has ridden up so I tug and shimmy in the seat until I’m as covered as I can be.

Josh is laughing his ass off when he comes up to the booth and I see Kellan with his hand over his mouth, smothering a smile. I flip them both off and mumble, “I got us the table, didn’t I?”

We spend the next couple hours in the booth, all getting loaded on beer and vodka. A half hour before midnight, Cara pulls Kellan out on the dance floor. I watch as she roams her hands all over his yummy body and jealousy strikes me like lightning. When I finally turn my eyes away from them, I see Josh and MJ smiling at me mischievously.

Josh nods his head towards the dance floor. “Let’s all go out there.” He grabs MJ’s hand then discretely grabs mine as well and takes us both next to Cara and Kellan. I’m surprised when MJ starts dancing with me instead of Josh. I am waiting for something to happen, but it never does.

When the next song begins, I loosen my muscles and start to enjoy myself. There are so many people around us and the humid air sticks to my skin, the only relief comes when someone near me moves fast enough to cause a tiny breeze. My gaze meets Kellan’s. He is watching me with dominating eyes, making those damn pterodactyls in my belly take flight again. Suddenly my body becomes a big giant puddle of quivering goo.

I close my eyes to try and tamp down on the desire that is devouring me. I feel extremely light headed, for many reasons. One- I’m drunker than a frat boy on a Friday night. Two- It is hotter than hell in the clusterfuck of people around me. And three- Kellan is looking at me like he wants to hold me against a wall and have his way with me. Given reason number one, I won’t stop him if he does.

8

Kellan

Even though Cara is dry humping the shit out of me, I can’t keep my eyes off of Aubrey. Her dress is really skanky but I am definitely not complaining. It’s obvious she didn’t pick it out and though I like it, it isn’t
her
. She is smiling and dancing with MJ, having a good time. It makes me happy to see her enjoying herself with MJ. I still don’t really know the deal between them but it seems like they are good friends tonight.

When she looks at me the sexual tension between us is
obvious. Her chest heaves up and down and her eyes flutter close. She is still swaying to the music, her head lolling to the side, her hair falling around her face and neck. I am getting hard, and Cara thinks she is the reason so she bumps it up a notch.

But I can’t take it anymore. I gently shove Cara off of me and onto another guy nearby. I walk up behind Aubrey and press my fingertips into her sides. She doesn’t flinch like I thought she would. Either she is really drunk and doesn’t care who touches her, or she knows it’s me and is finally giving me what I want. Maybe it’s both.

MJ grins devilishly when she sees me and Aubrey and turns to Josh. Aubrey takes the opportunity to lean back into my chest so my hands slide forward, one at her hip and the other on her ribs. Her ass brushes up against me a little firmer than before and I unintentionally let out a growl. I look down and can see a small smile tickle her lips.

We dance like that for a few songs, both of us afraid to
sever the connection we created. Beads of sweat cover her golden skin and I brush the hair off of her neck and over her shoulder. I can see the tan line from her bikini string travel from under her dress up to the curve of her neck and down the other side to disappear again under the purple material.

My hands wander all over her body and one hand grips her inner thigh right where her dress hits. I wait for her to swat it away or, worst case scenario, freak out and run off, but she doesn’t do either. My other hand grabs her hair and I tug a little so her head pulls to the side more, exposing her neck even better. I run my nose over her skin and even though I know I’m going to need a really, really cold shower afterwards, I suck and lick my way from her shoulder to below her ear.