The Certainty of Deception (8 page)

“You hate me,” her breath hitched.  My eyes popped open and spun around.  Olivia’s shoulders hunched forward.  She wiped away the black mascara that ran down her angular face.  A piece of my frozen heart broke at the sight of her crying.  I might be a bastard, but I couldn’t stand seeing a woman cry.  Even one that had made my life miserable. “That’s why you keep harping about the paternity test.”

Stepping over my suitcase and mangled clothes, I maneuvered to the foot of my bed and sat down.  “It’s not because I hate you.”  Pushing away a pile of clothes, I patted the space beside me.  A little reluctant at first, Olivia eventually sat down.  She placed her hands over her tiny stomach and sighed.  “You have to understand where I’m coming from.  I see this stuff every day at work.  I’m trying to protect us both.”

“But the test can be dangerous for the baby.”

“Morgan told us both that the test is non-invasive and you’re far enough along now that it won’t harm the baby.”

“Why can’t you simply trust that this is
your
child?  Am I so horrible that you want to be rid of me?  It’s bad enough that my best friend left me when I needed her the most,” Olivia sniffled, dabbing her eyes. 

Leaning forward, I placed my elbows on my knees, holding my head between my hands.  She wasn’t the only one McKenzie had abandoned.  It was true that I wanted to get Mickie back; that was all I could think about, but I was also hurt.  Just as hurt as Olivia.  Maybe even more.

“It’s not that.”

The sounds of the Gulf filled the silence between us.  I tilted my head, catching a glance at Olivia who was staring off in the distance.

“Then what?”

I swallow thickly.  “You’ve dealt with my parents regarding the wedding arrangements, so it really shouldn’t come as a surprise to you that my father would also demand this test?”

“Your father?”

“We have an image to uphold.  You know that Wise men don’t get divorces.  We’ve made a million jokes about that in the past.”

“What does a divorce have to do with us?”

“It’s about reputation, Olivia.  How do you think it looks to my father that I got a woman pregnant to whom I’m not married?”

“You’re a grown man,” she argued.

“Yes, with a family reputation and fortune.  My father is a traditionalist.  Age doesn’t matter.  Decorum does.”

“You sound like one of those stupid books Kenz was always reading.”

I chuckled, nodding.  “Yeah, well, my father is still stuck in the stone ages, but like I said, it’s not only him.  I want it done too.  I need it done.” 
If only to prove to myself that I could really be so stupid as to sleep with someone when I was in love with someone else.
 

Olivia opened her mouth then snapped it shut.  Moments passed as she postulated the request.  “If I agree to do the test, will you please start treating me like I matter?” she finally asked.

I sat up straight, shifting my position to face her.  It was like a heavy weight was being lifted off of my chest.  “I promise.”

“Okay.  We’ll do the test when we return from Boston.”

“Thank you,” I breathed a sigh of relief.

A small smile appeared on Olivia’s face as she nodded.  “Now, let me help you pack.  I can’t stand the idea of you high rolling in Vegas wearing half the crap you have out here.”

“What makes you think we’re going to Vegas?”

She shrugged.  “Where else would you go for a bachelor getaway?  It’s the only logical location.”  Olivia stood up, grabbing my suitcase off of the floor. 

“I guess,” I said, moving to help her.  Who was I to argue with her logic?  Sometimes ignorance is bliss and I was going to allow Olivia to remain ignorant for as long as was necessary.

“Seriously?”  Jared rested his hand on my shoulder, buckled over in laughter.  “A rubber duck?”

“I’m serious.  She wore this bright yellow sundress and waddled when she walked.  It’s not like she’s really all that big, but the woman acts as though she’s nine months pregnant,” I exaggerated.

“Tell me you quacked at her,” Gavin snickered.  He leaned against the counter, thrumming his fingers.  Patience was not one of Gavin’s virtues and at the pace the rental attendant was going, it’d be Christmas before we got a car.

“I wanted to
, but I refrained.  She was already pissed.  I didn’t need to add fuel to the fire.” 

“
Here are your keys, Mr. Wise,” the young clerk said.  He dropped the keys into my open palm with a smile.  “Have a nice stay in Amarillo.”

“Thanks,” I replied.  I motioned my head toward the door, grabbing the handle of my luggage.  “You guys ready?”

“Been ready,” Gavin stated, blowing a breath of exasperation. 

Jared still cackled on about my retelling of my night with Olivia.  It was a fact that Jared and Olivia never liked each other.  Some people might say that they had a love/hate relationship.  They loved to hate each other. 

I turned on my heel, rolling my luggage behind me, as Jared and Gavin followed.  From behind, I could hear Jared mumble something to Gavin.  Whatever he said returned Gavin’s spirited laughter.  “What’s so funny,” I asked, as I pushed open the glass door, stepping outside of the rental facility only to stop dead in my tracks.

Gavin and Jared walked out behind me.  “Jared just gave me a mental image of Olivia as a du - Oh my God!  What the hell is that smell?” Gavin gagged.

My hand flew up over my mouth and nose, desperate to eliminate the odor.  “I don’t know, but I think someone took a massive shit on Amarillo.”

“Welcome to America’s toilet,” Jared jested, trudging forward, seemingly unfazed by the putrid odor.

“No shit!” Gavin bellowed.

“Shit,” came Jared’s straight-faced retort.

“Is it always like this?”  I pinched my nose, and marched behind Jared and Gavin to the world’s most disastrous rental.  At first I thought the clerk was joking when he informed me that the largest vehicle they had on the lot was a Buick La Crosse.  This was Texas after all.  Where were the gas guzzling monster trucks?  When I realized he was actually serious, I reluctantly accepted the car.

“I don’t think so.  If I recall correctly, McKenzie once told me it was Hereford rolling in.” 

Gavin tilted his face to Jared, his brows furrowed in confusion and his nose scrunched in a horrific snarl.  “What the hell is a Hereford?” 

Jared shook his head.  “Not
a
Hereford.  Hereford; as in a city just south of Amarillo. I told you we were heading into cattle country.” Sarcasm dripped from Jared’s tongue.  “What’d you think it’d smell like?  Flowers?” 

“No, but I didn’t expect it to smell like horse shit either!” Gavin protested.

“That’s cow shit,” Jared corrected, “and according to these people, that’s the smell of money.”

“I know what money smells like, and it doesn’t smell like bull shit!” I argued.

Jared looked over his shoulder at me.  A simple smile played over his face.  “Now you’re getting it.”

Even after everything that happened on Monday, I still sort of disliked Jared, but he was quite amusing.  It would be hard for me to really trust him as long as I knew he was still in love with McKenzie.  He might be noble, but even noble men stumble and fall.

A heavy gust of wind swirled up around us, creating a vortex of dry heat and sickening cattle stench.  The hot June sun beat down from the cloudless sky, bigger than any sun I’d ever seen before.  It seemed to be the only celestial being in the pale, blue sky.  Beads of sweat formed over my skin.  I rubbed the back of my hand over my brow to remove the fresh wave of sweat before it reached my eyes.  The three of us rushed to the car, fighting the wind that seemed determined to knock us to the ground.

“Just when I thought the smell couldn’t get worse,” I grumbled, fumbling with the key fob.

The trunk popped open.  Gavin sprinted to the back of the sedan, chunking his luggage in the back without paying attention to where it landed.  He raced around to the passenger side, yelling like a teenager, “I call shotgun!”

Jared and I rolled our eyes, laughing at my brother.  “Actually,” Jared started, placing his luggage in the trunk, “this is tame compared to the last time I was here.  The winds get brutal in this area.”

I placed my bags in the back and closed the trunk.  Walking around to the driver’s side, I stopped and looked out toward the highway.  The wind continued to blow wildly and the smell of cattle clouded the air, yet I couldn’t help but be enamored by this unusual place.  This was McKenzie’s home.  This was where she grew up.  Secrets lay in this flat, brown land that were waiting for me to uncover.  There was something magical about Amarillo.  It held a certain beauty.  Or maybe it was nostalgia.  Whatever the case, I felt magic in the sadistic wind. 

“You okay, Drew?” Jared observed.

I leaned against the top of the sedan.  The metal was hot to the touch, stinging my skin.  “Yeah.  I was trying to imagine Mickie living here is all.  The water, the beach, it’s all a part of her.  This place is flat and dusty, and while my mind tells me it doesn’t fit, my heart says this is as much a part of her as the white sands of Florida.”

A small smile lighted Jared’s face.  “Waxing poetic, my friend, but very intuitive.”

In an effort to keep the wind from pulling it from its hinges, I carefully opened the door.  I dropped into car, barely managing to get my legs in before the wind slammed the door closed.  The seat was so close to the steering wheel that my knees almost touched my chin.  The tan cloth seat sank with the weight of my body, and the smell was no better inside the vehicle than it had been outside. 

I fumbled around, squished between the steering wheel and my legs.  Pushing my hand underneath, I searched for a handle to adjust the seat back.  “What the hell?” I grumbled.  “Did the shortest person alive previously drive this car?”

The hiss of snickers came from beside and behind me.  I cut my eyes to Gavin and Jared, to find them both watching my struggle.  Mother fuckers!  I’d been pranked.  These two thought they were so funny.  “What the hell!” I shouted.

Gavin howled in laughter.  “You should see yourself right now.”  Jared covered a snicker with the back of his hand. 

Finding the handle, I adjusted the seat to better fit my long legs.  “I’m on to the both of you.”

Laughter erupted between my two companions.  They didn’t know it yet, or maybe they did, but they’d just started a war.  I’m the master of pranks and they’d never beat me.

“Put your seatbelts on,” I requested.  With the key in the ignition, I started the car.

“Hey,” Gavin started, “where are all the cowboys?  I haven’t seen a single pair of nut
huggers, shit kickers, or a cowboy hat since we got off the plane.”

I caught Jared’s eye in the rearview mirror.  That same timid expression remained.  “Give it time.  Believe me, you won’t be disappointed.” He pulled his ball cap from his head, exposing his shaggy blonde hair.  He pressed his head against the window, and watched the flat lands of West Texas roll by us.

It took a good deal of strength to drive with the wind in constant motion.  As before, dry, flat land expanded as far as the eye could see, speckled with the occasional building.  We turned onto Interstate 40 and civilization exploded in front of us.  Hotels and businesses lined the freeway.  Massive semi trucks whizzed past us.  What had been flat countryside, quickly turned into a booming gateway city.

Gavin pointed out to the right of us as we passed a long, yellow building.  In front, a huge white sign with bold blue lettering proclaimed,
The Big Texan
.  “Oh, man! We have to go there.”

“I watched a guy attempt the seventy-two ounce steak dinner once,” Jared noted.

“There’s no way I’d do something like that,” I proclaimed. 

I’d heard about The Big Texan before.  It had been spotlighted on the Travel channel or something.  Anyway, they had this deal where if a person could eat a seventy-two ounce steak with sides in an hour, their meal was free.  I couldn’t imagine anyone actually succeeding in such gluttony.

“I could do it,” Gavin bragged.

I reached over and patted his stomach.  “Yeah, big brother, you’re getting a little flabby around the midsection.  I’d bet on you.”

Gavin smacked my hand away.  “Ha-ha! Very funny. Smart ass,” he paused, staring at me.  I could see his face from the corner of my eye and knew exactly what he was waiting for.  There was no way I was giving it to him either.

After a few minutes of silence, I glanced in his direction.  “What?”

“Oh, c’mon.  You know you want to say it.”

“Say what?”

“You know!”

I shrugged my right shoulder.  “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“Just say it and shut him up,” Jared pleaded.

I laughed, shaking my head.  “This is far too much fun.  I think I’ll keep him hanging longer.”

“Say it or I’ll make sure your first moments with McKenzie will be the most embarrassing of your life,” Gavin threatened.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Want to make a bet?”

And there was the challenge.  This meant war.  I could either take the bet, and be prepared for Gavin to drop some embarrassing factoid about me in McKenzie’s presence or give into what he wanted.  The choice was mine.  I hated losing, especially to Gavin, but to save face, I decided to go with giving him what he wanted.  “Fine,” I moaned.  “Better than being a dumb one.”

“Finally!” Gavin crossed his arms over his chest and stared out the window.  A hint of satisfaction twisted his lips.

We drove in silence with only the occasional instruction from the GPS guiding me to Evans Bodyworks.  The silence felt nice.  It gave me a chance to reflect on what was about to happen.  I was moments away from seeing McKenzie, and I had no idea what I was going to say to her.

“You nervous?” Gavin asked; all comedy gone from his voice.

“A little.”  A total understatement.

“You shouldn’t be,” Jared said in a low undertone.  “Like I told her, getting you two back in a room together is all fate needs to put everything back on course.”

Gavin nudged me with his elbow.  I nodded, understanding my brother without having to utter a word.  Jared wasn’t the bad guy.  He simply loved the same girl I did.  Not that I could blame him.

“Thanks, Jared,” I replied, catching his anxious expression in the rearview mirror. 

We pulled into the parking lot of Evans Bodyworks, and parked the rental in front of the building.  To the left of the brown metal building sat a fenced off area, where I noticed Mickie’s Prius parked next to an old Ford truck, and a jacked-up white Chevy Duramax diesel.  The pickup dwarfed Mickie’s environmentally friendly vehicle with its six inch lift and thirty-five inch tires.  Mud caked the inside of the wheel well and splattered along the sides of the vehicle.  It looked as though it had come straight from the field.  

Outside the gate, the parking lot was empty.  Two cars were parked inside the work bays of the garage, being handled by men dressed in dark blue mechanics uniforms.  I inhaled deep, getting out of the car.  All three doors closed simultaneously, echoing around us.  The wind was blowing ever stronger, pushing me toward the door.

Each step felt like a beat of my heart.  Just beyond those doors was McKenzie.  Now, standing at this place, I was torn.  Two months of no contact.  Two months of missing her.  Two months of loving her, of hating her, of wishing I could both kiss and scream at her.  Those two months were about to come to an end.  I was on the precipice, about to jump, and my mind and heart were playing tug of war over whether she was worth it.  She was the one who left me.  Not the other way around.

I reached for the metal door handle and was stopped by a hand on my shoulder.

Jared squeezed my shoulder.  His face abruptly serious.  “She’s worth it.”  He ended my unspoken battle.

I nodded, sighing softly.  “I know.”