The Changelings (War of the Fae: Book 1) (33 page)

I felt a movement nearby as one of the guys started bumping up against me.
 

"Jayne, what the hell's going on?" asked Tony, struggling against his bonds.
 
"Why am I all tied up?"

Spike spoke next.
 
"Yo, not so sure I'm okay with the S&M – can someone untie me please?"

Finn was still just lying there, I assumed too weak from his recently healed injury to protest too much.
 

Chase struggled in silence, not managing to get very far but not due to lack of effort.
 
He grunted with the strain he was putting into breaking the vines.

"Just stop, Chase, I'll let you go."

I sent a request out to The Green to let my friends go, and they were released within seconds.
 
I thanked the vines for their help, because without it, I'd no doubt be mourning the loss of five friends and not just one.
 
But one was more than enough.
 
I started crying again.

The guys sat up, rubbing the circulation back into their arms and legs.
 
Tony scooted over to sit next to me, laying his arm across my shoulders.
 
Spike came to my other side, putting his arm around my waist.
 
Chase stood, gazing out at the water.
 

I looked up and saw what he was doing through my tears.
 
"Chase, turn around!" I yelled, panic in my voice.

Chase turned to look at me with a questioning expression.

"There's a fucking siren bitch in there who already hypnotized you once.
 
Don't look out there because I'm not fucking coming after you again."
 
I was furious, but not at him.
 
I was more angry with myself than anyone or anything else.

Chase came back to stand in front of me.
 
"Where's Becky?" he asked softly.

I dropped my head down, unable to look at them.
 
"She went into the lake.
 
She's not coming back.
 
I couldn't save her."
 
I threw my head up, disgusted with myself and yelling in frustration through my tears.
 
"Correction!
 
I
could
have saved her, but I
didn't
.
 
She's dead because of
me!"

The pain overwhelmed me, crushed me.
 
I couldn't think straight.
 
I needed to get back into the forest and far, far away from this lake – this place of death.
 
"Get me away from here," I begged.

Tony and Spike helped me stand.
 

Chase stopped for a minute, opening Becky's bag.
 
He pulled out her flare and her flint.
 
He sparked the flint until it caught and lit the end of the flare.
 
He held it up above his head and aimed it out above the lake.
 
I watched it fire off its bright red light and send it soaring up into the sky.
 
It was too late ... I knew that.
 
The thought had me crying all over again.
 
Chase threw the spent cartridge down on the shore of the lake.
 

The guys bent down, collecting our weapons, including Becky's knife that had been dropped near the water's edge.
 
Seeing it brought even more tears to my eyes.
 
I had so many of them rushing out I could hardly see anymore.
 
Even so, I ran to the edge of the lake and picked up the cartridge.
 
I don't know why, but I just wanted to keep it.

"Leave it.
 
So they can find her," said Chase, softly.

I stopped walking and just dropped the cartridge where I was standing.
 
So they could find her dead body
.
 
A horrific thought.
 
I doubted they'd even bother.
 
It was their fault it had happened.
 
Theirs and mine.

They guided me into the forest, away from the lake and towards the waypoint, setting me down under a stand of trees.
 
Within seconds, the leaves began falling.
 
I paid no attention, only barely registering their soft caresses, sliding across my arms or brushing my head gently to fall down my back to the ground around me.
 
Soon I was nearly buried in the sympathies and condolences of The Green.

My sobs quieted down bit by bit.
 
I was aware of the guys standing nearby, talking in low tones.
 
The only thing I cared about right then was making sure none of them was walking back to that fucking lake.
 
I didn't have any more tears left to cry for them.

Tony noticed that I had stopped crying and came over, crouching down beside me in the pile of leaves.
 
"I know you're not better; but are you good enough to walk?
 
We think it's best if we get out of this area before nightfall."

I wiped my nose and eyes off with the sleeve of my sweatshirt, nodding.
 
I hated to leave Becky's final resting place, but the farther away from that witch in the water we were, the better off we were all going to be.
 
I wished that I had the luxury of giving in to my feelings of revenge, because that bitch had it coming to her.
 
The world was now short one awesome kid because of her and that just wasn't right.
 

I stood to join the guys and, suddenly remembering my short-statured savior, looked around to see where he was.
 

"What are you looking for, Jayne?" asked Spike.

"The guy who shot that bitch in her evil, rotten, slimy heart."

"Uh, what guy?"

"There was a guy here.
 
He took Finn's bow and arrow and shot her.
 
I couldn't do it – I couldn't work the damn thing."
 
I tried not to feel shame about that fact – it's not like I'd ever held one before.
 
Maybe I should have had Finn teach me.
 

Tony nudged me.
 
"Stop torturing yourself.
 
You had no way of knowing."

He was in my head again, but this time I wasn't mad about it.
 
It was lonely in there right now; I could use the company.

"Well, whoever he is, he's not here now.
 
It's just us guys," said Spike.

Minus Becky
, was all I could think.
 
My depression settled over me like a heavy, dark cloak.

I trudged on, walking behind Chase and Spike and in front of Finn.
 
Tony walked next to me whenever the terrain would allow it.
 
They were boxing me in, protecting me as best they could.
 
I knew if something attacked us right now, I'd be of no help at all.
 
All I wanted to do was lay down and sleep for the next ten years.
 
Maybe by then I'd be able to forget all this madness.

I alternated between feeling helpless and sorry for myself, and being pissed and ready to kill any one of the people of One Eleven Group with my bare hands.
 
In those moments I was feeling pretty confident that I could even take Ivar down.
 
Rage has a way of bringing on the adrenaline and superhuman powers.
 

Superpowers
.
 
That reminded me of the interview and the meeting we went to two days ago.
 
Was it just two days ago?
 
The beginning of the lies.
 
My superpowers sure would have come in handy here in the forest.
 
I hesitated in my thoughts.
 
I kind of
was
using superpowers – at least in my interactions with The Green.
 
I
wasn't doing anything myself, but I was involved.
 
Something was bothering me, something my subconscious was seeing that I wasn't.
 
I think I was just too exhausted from the emotional pain and fatigue to focus.
 
I had to get my mind off it for a little while.
 
Maybe it would come to me later when I wasn't
trying
to think about it so hard.
 

I started humming one of the tunes Spike had played in the warehouse the night before.
 

He looked back at me and smiled, reaching out his hand to touch my shoulder.
 
It felt nice, the contact.
 
These kids were nice people; they didn't deserve this shit any more than I did.

My thoughts were interrupted when Chase stopped and pulled out his map.
 
Tony, Finn, and Spike joined him, looking over his shoulders.
 

I sank to the ground, staring off into space.
 
I could feel the hum of The Green below me, reaching up through the earth to connect.
 
I think it could feel my sorrow.
 
I suppose it was trying to heal my heart – but there was no way to do that.
 
I cut off the link so I could be alone.

Tony came back and sat down next to me, drawing his knees up to his chest.
 
"Hey," he said, searching my face.

"Hey."

"How're you doing?"

"Not good."

He reached out and stroked my arm.
 
"I know.
 
Do you want to stop?"

"I really don't care anymore," I said.
 
And I really didn't.
 
Go, stop, sleep ... it didn't make any difference.

Tony got up and went back to the others.
 
They conferred for a little while and then started moving around, gathering bits of wood.

After a few minutes, Tony came back and explained.
 
"We're going to stay here for the night and then head out really early in the morning to reach the fourth and final waypoint.
 
That okay with you?"

I shrugged.
 
I could care less.

"Do you think you can get the trees to protect us tonight so we can all sleep?
 
I think Finn especially needs it."

"Probably."

"If you can't do it, no one will mind.
 
We understand, just tell us if you can't."

I got angry.
 
"Fine!
 
I can do it!
 
Just leave me the hell alone!"

"Uh, that'll be a
no
on that," said Tony, sitting down next to me again.

"I'm serious, Tony.
 
Get the fuck away from me."
 
I wasn't in the mood for his niceness or for his forgiveness.

"So you can sit here all alone and feel sorry for yourself?
 
Nope, I don't think so."

I caught Spike and Chase stealing glances over at us, which only made me madder.
 
I felt angry tears well up in my eyes.
 
"Screw you, Tony.
 
I'm not feeling sorry for myself."

"What do you call it then?"

I shoved him away.
 

He tipped over on his side but then sat back up.
 
"You're gonna have to do better than that," he said matter of factly.

I started to boil up inside and a message of bad intent starting forming in my mind.
 
I could picture The Green tying Tony up and hanging him upside down from a tree branch.
 

"Ah, ah, ahhhh," Tony scolded me, wagging his finger back and forth like a mother to a child.
 
"No fair using your powers for evil.
 
Superheroes can only use their powers for good; you know that.
 
It's Good Guy Rule Number One."

The evil image dissipated out of my mind as quickly as it had appeared.
 
"I'm not a fucking superhero, you a-hole."

"I beg to differ," said Tony quietly.
 
"Without you, we would all be dead right now."

The tears started coming down my cheeks then; my throat closed up making it hard to talk or even breathe.
 
"What about Becky?" I said hoarsely.
 
"I didn't save her, and I could have.
 
I
could
have, Tony, but I didn't!"

Tony threw his arms around me, pulling me close.
 

I let him do it because I just didn't have the strength to fight him off anymore.
 
The leaves started raining down again.

"Shhhh, shhhhh ... I know you're upset – devastated; but you have to know this was not your fault.
 
You did
not
put Becky in that water, and you did
not
make her walk in too deep.
 
That was the Lady in the Lake and no one else.
 
You may have a connection to the green things in this forest, but you cannot read minds, and you cannot tell the future.
 
Stop blaming yourself ... it's actually kind of arrogant, if you think about it."

I pulled back away from him, looking him fiercely in the face.
 
"Arrogant?
 
Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No, I'm serious.
 
Do you really think you're so amazing that you can save everyone from everything?
 
Please.
 
None of us can do that.
 
We have to work together as a team.
 
We knew that on day one.
 
It was your dumb idea in the first place, remember?"

I huffed out a pissed-off breath of air, but he did have a point.
 
I am awesome, but on the other hand, I do suck at lots of things – shooting a bow and arrow for one.
 
That brought my mind around to the guy who
could
shoot a bow and arrow, Robin Hood or whoever that guy was who materialized out of nowhere and sank that soggy bitch in the lake; and Finn – also a good shot.