THE COWBOY SHE COULDN'T FORGET (14 page)

Colt felt his eyes drifting shut and thought back to the decades of loneliness. If he had just held on to his little girls instead of pushing them away, how different things might have been for Ana, Tori, Josie and Marissa.

He brushed a tear off his face.

“Oh, Luisa,” he breathed. He could still see her beautiful face when he closed his eyes. He still dreamed of her, of them together. Thought about all their hopes of a future together. But their seemingly perfect life had quickly changed when Luisa walked away.

“No puedo vivir sin ti. Te amo,”
he whispered in the darkness.
I can’t live without you. I love you.
He’d said those words so often to his bride during their short six years together. It had been well over twenty years since they’d parted.

He fisted his hands tightly. Why hadn’t he ever been able to put her completely out of his head, his heart? Why did he keep hoping she’d show up and beg him to take her back? Then he could tell her to get the hell out of his life.

“Te quiero con toda mi alma. Siempre.”
The female voice was a breathy whisper in the silent room.
I love you with all my soul. Always.

Colt froze, but didn’t open his eyes. He couldn’t even breathe when he heard the familiar words,
“Tu eres mi vida.” You are my life.

“Luisa,” he gasped, and jerked up as he glanced around the room, his eyes working to adjust to the darkness. He heard his heart pounding in his chest as he caught a faint female scent. His gaze searched every corner of the room, but found no one.

He was alone, just like always.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

A
NA
SPENT
THE
night at the ranch, but she didn’t sleep at all, not after Kathleen told her Vance had resigned and moved out of the foreman’s house. Ana was haunted by the fact that she was the one who’d driven him away from his home. He’d given it all up.

Because of her.

She was ashamed that she had refused to listen to anything he had to say, and had believed the worst about him. In the end, Vance gave everything to her so she could be happy. Well, she was miserable, because he was the only thing she wanted.

Oh, God. She had to find him, to get him to stay. To make him understand that he was the one who belonged at the Lazy S. She couldn’t imagine never seeing him again.

At daybreak, she began calling his cell phone. Every time, it went straight to voice mail, but she couldn’t get herself to leave a message. Anything she had to say would sound so insincere. She needed to talk to Vance in person. At least to tell him she was sorry for those awful things she’d said.

She came downstairs to the kitchen to find a flurry of activity. Three ranch hands were busy moving sofas against the walls in the living room, making space for the therapy equipment being delivered in a few hours. There was a delay, and Colt wouldn’t be coming home for a few more days. At least that would give Ana more time to get things together.

Todd came over to her. “It’s good to see you, Ana.”

“Hi, Todd,” she said pleasantly.

The new foreman smiled. “I know you’ll be busy, with Colt coming home and all, so if there is anything else you need, let me know.”

Bring Vance back,
she cried silently. “I appreciate that, Todd. I hope everything is going smoothly with the operation.”

He nodded. “Of course we miss Vance, but we’re handling things.”

Did the men know what had happened? “Have you spoken to him?”

He nodded. “I call him when I have questions.” The new foreman shrugged. “He’s been here so long, no one knows the Lazy S like he does.”

Ana fought her tears. “I know. I’m hoping that, with Colt coming home, things will get back to normal.”

A big grin appeared on Todd’s face. “The men are looking forward to the boss being home.”

The young man went back to his task and Ana escaped to the kitchen, where Kathleen was busy mixing up a batch of her oatmeal raisin cookies to give the men for their help.

The housekeeper wiped her hands on her apron and came around the table. “What’s wrong?”

Ana shook her head. “Oh, Kathleen, I’ve made a mess of everything.”

“Come on, we talked about this, Ana. Your father needs to take blame for this one. In fact, he and I are going to have a long discussion when he gets home. One that I wish I’d pushed for twenty years ago. Maybe things would have been different today.”

“I don’t want to rehash the past. I want to start fresh with Colt, but I’m not sure I can until I get things straightened out with Vance.”

“You will, honey. Give him some time.”

“No, I can’t. I drove him away from his home.” Ana didn’t want to think of all the awful things she’d said to him. The man she cared about. The man she loved. Oh, God, she loved Vance so much. How could she have done this to him?

Kathleen led Ana to a chair at the table and sat her down. “You’ve had a lot to deal with since your dad’s stroke. Your sisters haven’t been here to help you, either. Can’t blame them, though. There was a lot of resentment because of Colt’s neglect. You needed someone to blame.”

“You would think as an adult I would understand that what Colt did was never Vance’s fault.”

Kathleen sighed. “Do you think you stayed angry with Vance for another reason?”

Ana wanted to deny it, but she couldn’t. She was afraid.

Kathleen smiled. “I watched for years how Vance stood back from the family, but he always had eyes for you. A crush at first, but every time you came home from college, he seemed to make excuses to show up at the house. He went through a real dark mood when you got engaged.”

Ana thought back to their first kiss, when she was fourteen, and how angry he’d been with her. “I didn’t think he liked me back then.”

“You have to understand him. He was afraid of your father finding out. He fought to find a place to belong.” Kathleen leaned forward. “To not be that kid from the wrong side of town. He’s worked so hard to lose the stigma.”

“Oh, God, and I put him right back there.”

“No, Colt didn’t handle it right. He was wrong not to tell you girls, but he wasn’t wrong to give Vance part of this ranch. Don’t you think the man worked hard enough to have a place where he belonged?”

Ana’s heart ached. She’d messed up everything and she had to make it right. “I need to fix this, Kathleen. Please tell me where Vance is. Please tell me he didn’t leave the state.”

“No, he’s close by.” Kathleen sighed and hesitated, then said, “He’s staying at Garrett’s place.”

“Working at the ranch?”

“No, he took a job on the construction crew.”

* * *

Vance had been up since five that morning. He’d been at the lodge site, helping the men unload lumber off the flatbed truck and carry it to where the concrete slabs had been poured yesterday morning. Today they were going to frame the first floor of the structure, so there wouldn’t be any break in the workload anytime soon.

He never minded hard work. It had gotten him through some rough times. Times when he hurt so badly nothing distracted him from the pain. Times when people thought he wasn’t worth saving, but he’d worked to prove them wrong. Times when he loved someone so deeply that he had to bury his feelings in work.

Work wasn’t doing the trick to hide what he felt for Ana. That was why he couldn’t stay here.

“Hey, don’t kill yourself. I have plans for you.”

He looked up to see Garrett smiling at him.

Vance removed his hard hat and wiped the sweat off his forehead. “I’m only doing the job you hired me for.”

Garrett motioned for him to follow him off the site. Once under the shade of a tree, but before Garrett began to speak, Vance said, “Hey, I know I’m not as qualified as your regular guys, but I appreciate the work.”

“You are qualified. In fact, my men are complaining that you’re making them look bad. Slow down, Vance. Stop letting what happened between you and Ana drive you so hard you get hurt.”

Vance straightened. “I’m not.”

Garrett glanced over Vance’s shoulder. “Well, that’s good to know, because you’re going to be tested on that theory.” He nodded and Vance turned to see Ana walking toward them. Garrett made his exit.

Vance’s chest tightened as she moved through the high grass toward him. She was in her usual attire of jeans and a blouse tucked in at her narrow waist.

“Hi, Vance,” she said.

He nodded. “Ana. Is there a problem at the ranch? With Colt?”

“No, Todd is handling everything and Colt is fine.” She raised her gaze to his. “I came to see you. Can we talk?”

He didn’t want to rehash anything. “I really need to get back to work.”

He’d started to leave when she called to him. “Please, Vance.”

Her plea worked and he waited for her to speak.

“I’m sorry for all the things I said,” she told him. “I took my anger out on you when I should have directed it at Dad. You have every right to the land.”

He didn’t want to say anything, but muttered, “You think I give a damn about that land? Well, I don’t. It was never what I wanted.”

Ana’s eyes filled. “I know that now. And I’m sorry, so sorry for the way I treated you.” She glanced away. “I didn’t trust what I was feeling for you. I got scared, Vance.”

He walked a few feet away, then came back. “You don’t think I wasn’t scared? The problem, Ana, was you couldn’t trust me. You wouldn’t believe anything I said.”

With her silence, all he could hear was his pulse pounding in his ears.

“I would now,” she confessed.

Her words were encouraging, but still he hesitated. “I can’t go back to the past, Ana. Things are different now.”

She looked disappointed, but before they could say any more, one of the men called to him. “Hey, we need another pair of hands here.”

“I’ve got to get back.”

She reached out and touched his arm. “I’m not giving up, Vance. Can you give us one more chance? It’s your choice what happens next.”

He glanced away, not wanting her to see how she affected him. “I’ll come by later. Meet me in the barn, say, four o’clock.”

Ana smiled. “I’ll be there.” She walked off, leaving Vance aching to run after her.

Garrett came over. “So you worked things out?”

“We’re just going to talk, later.”

His friend sighed. “Take some advice. The less talking the better.”

* * *

At four o’clock Ana walked out toward the barn and found Vance in the corral, with Rusty and Blondie saddled.

She nearly ran into his arms. “Hi.”

He nodded. “Hi.”

“Are we going somewhere?”

“I thought we’d go for a ride, somewhere we wouldn’t draw so much attention.”

Ana looked around and saw several of the men watching them. Good, she’d have him to herself. She took Blondie’s reins from Vance and climbed on her mare.

Vance mounted Rusty, then together they walked the horses out the corral gate, thanking Todd for closing it.

It didn’t take long before Ana picked up the pace and they were both racing across the pasture. She soon began to relax and enjoy her ride, not wanting to think that it could be their last one.

They rode past the alfalfa fields and Ana knew where Vance was directing her. It wasn’t long before they ended up in the meadow, approaching the small cabin.

Once there, she pulled on Blondie’s reins and the horse came to a stop. Vance did the same with Rusty. After tying the animals to the railing near the rebuilt lean-to, he went to the pump and began to fill the old trough with water.

Ana glanced around and noticed some subtle changes. The boards had been replaced on the porch floor, and there were new shingles on the roof, too.

Vance pulled a plastic cup from his saddlebag, filled it with water and offered it to her. “Here, this is so much better than bottled.”

Ana drank about half, then gave it back, and he finished it. She wasn’t feeling as sure about this talk as she’d been when they left twenty minutes ago. She looked out over the meadow, wishing it would give her some magic right now. Then suddenly the wind kicked up and clouds moved overhead, and soon came the raindrops.

“Come on. We better take cover.” Vance grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the porch, then opened the door and got her inside the cabin.

“I guess we should have checked the weather,” she said.

“It’s not bad.” Vance went to the small table and lit the kerosene lamp. “The rain should pass over in a few minutes.”

Removing her hat, Ana wiped the moisture from her face and jeans jacket, then looked around. There were changes inside, too. The room had been cleaned for once. The bunks and old mattresses were gone, replaced by a large wrought-iron bed with a colorful quilt covering it. Her gaze quickly searched the rest of the room. The kitchen area had been cleaned, too. There were more canned goods on the shelves, and fresh curtains in the window.

“Who did this?”

He folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the sink counter. “It all depends, if you like it or not.”

“What’s not to like? Are you living here?”

He shook his head. “This is yours, Ana.”

She felt her throat close up. “You did this for me? When?”

The rain continued to come down. “A few weeks ago,” he told her. “I knew you liked to come here when you went riding, so I thought why not make it livable.”

She walked to the bed. “Where did you find this?”

Vance wasn’t sure he could pull this off. Being here with her was killing him. “It was in the barn, up in the attic.” He paused. “It used to be mine, but the mattress is new. And I bought the quilt from Mrs. Hildebrand at the Country Days Festival.”

“Oh, Vance.” Ana’s fingers traced the double wedding ring embroidered on the quilt. “How did you get everything out here?”

“In that old wagon behind the barn, and with a lot of help from Todd.”

“But why?”

“I know what this place means to you, Ana.” This was his chance. “And you mean a lot to me.”

Her gaze rose to meet his, and Vance could see the glistening of tears.

“I don’t deserve this,” she choked out. “I said so many awful things to you.”

He fought the urge to go over to her. They needed to talk first. “We both made mistakes. I should have told you about the land. Believe me, I tried. That night I came to your room, when you were going over the loan papers? I confessed it all to you, then realized you had fallen asleep before I finished my explanation. The next day was when Hoffman spilled the news to you at the bank.”

Ana watched him. “I should have listened to you that day. I should have believed in you. I’m sorry for doubting you.” She looked away. “I know I messed up everything. I drove you away from your home. Please believe that I never wanted to do that.”

All at once the rain stopped and the sun came out. Ana released a long breath. “We should get back.” She went toward the door.

Vance had to act quickly, and caught her before she got too far. He pushed the door closed easily. “You notice that I fixed the hinges? I even put a lock on the door.” He slid the bolt to prove a point. “I’m not finished yet, Ana. I have a lot more to say to you.”

She looked up at him, her eyes wide with hope, and with love. That gave him the courage to go on. “Eighteen years ago, I showed up at your house, that kid you and your sisters wanted nothing to do with.”

When she started to speak, he raised his hand. “I need to say this, Ana.” At her nod, he continued. “I didn’t blame any of you for resenting me. So much of that was because of Colt, but we have to let that go, too. All I cared about for all those years was you. How much I wanted to see you every day.”

“But after you kissed me that first time in the barn, you pushed me away.”

“Colt would have thrown me so far off the ranch, I could never find my way back. I kept my distance, hoping that my feelings would fade away, like an adolescent infatuation.” Vance shook his head. “They only got stronger, Ana. I couldn’t stop caring about you even if I wanted to. And when you moved home this time, I knew I couldn’t deny it any longer.”