The Disaster Diaries: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Apocalypse

BOOK: The Disaster Diaries: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Apocalypse
8.34Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub






John Sheridan






© 2012

Apocalypse, John Sheridan






by John Sheridan


Lake of Love

of Deceit

Virus: Infection

of Lust

of a Sex Addict












One: The Dream


My heart was beating so hard that it felt like it
might burst out through my ribcage. I tried to swallow, but my mouth was dry. A
cold shiver ran down the full length of my spine. The atmosphere felt so tense
and morbid. The stench of death seemed to hang over me like some kind of foreboding
rain cloud. The edges of my vision were blurred. I glanced down at my hands.
They were drenched in blood. Unconsciously, I wiped my hands against my shirt.
Panic was starting to set it.

‘The end is coming,’ spoke a soft female voice.

I looked into the darkness that surrounded me. It
was like I was floating in deep space. There was nothing around me. I could see
no ground, no sky, no buildings or structures. I was in a black void of
nothingness. A faint click reached my ears. It sounded like someone pulling on
the cord of a bathroom light. A light bulb, appearing to hang from the
darkness, illuminated a small section of the void. My eyes widened with shock.
A sickening sensation filled my stomach. A dead body lay upon the ground. The
head had been crushed. Blood, snot and brain matter dripped out like some kind
of leaky tap.

‘In five days the world will end,’ said the voice.

I nearly vaulted out of my bed, as I woke.

Lucy, my furry four legged companion, leapt off the
end of my bed in shocked surprise. She gave me a look, which said
what-the-fuck-was-that-for? I clutched my hand to my chest. My heart was
beating at a million miles an hour. I was covered in a light layer of sweat.
The dreams had changed. The theme of the dream was the same. Every night the
countdown to the apocalypse continued, but the dreams had changed. I had never
seen anything like that. What did it mean? I would soon find out. In five days
the world will end.






Two: Isabella


I unlocked the back door and pulled it open. Lucy
shot out into the garden with the speed of a shooting star. Lucy was a cute
little Lakeland terrier. She had a beautiful black and tan coat, a tail that
stood erect in the air, and a beard that always made me laugh. I sat down on
the doorstep in my boxer shorts. The sun was already starting its day and blue
skies covered the heavens. I watched in amusement, as Lucy did her morning
patrol of the back garden. Next doors cat has a habit of lurking in the bushes
by the fence. Lucy would make a grand gesture of rushing at the cat, but the
whole act would end with a claw in the nose from the coolest cat that ever
lived. I turned my cell phone over in my hand and glanced at the time. She
would be calling me any moment now. Isabella never failed to call in the

My cell phone began to ring.

Butterflies fluttered in my tummy, as I answered her


‘Hey, baby,’ said Isabella. I did love it when she
called me that. ‘Did you sleep well?’

‘I always sleep well when I think of you.’

Isabella giggled. ‘You had more naughty dreams, eh?’

‘Well, in the dreams you are the naughty one,’ I joked.

‘Let’s hope we can turn those dreams into a reality
when we finally meet. You still on for tomorrow night?’

‘Yes. I can’t stop thinking about it. I will finally
get to meet you in person.’

‘I know. It feels like I already know you. Joining
that dating site was the best decision I ever made in my life. I wish I didn’t
have to go to work. I want to see you so badly.’

‘It’s only one more day,’ I told her. ‘And then we
can finally be together.’

‘And I get to suck that long hard cock,’ she

A warm sensation headed down between my legs.

‘And I get to suck your hot tits.’

‘They are yours to suck. Right, I got to go. Will
you be online tonight?’

‘Yes. I will be,’ I replied.

‘Okay, baby. Have a good day.’ Isabella blew several
kisses down the phone and hung up. I couldn’t help but smile. Isabella and I
had been talking online for nearly six weeks. We have talked about meeting up,
but finally the day was coming. Tomorrow night I would finally get to be with
the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life.






Three: Five Days


It was a little known fact that I was the laziest
person in the world.  I hated doing any form of physical activity. The problem
was that I was a writer. I spent most of my days sitting in front of a
computer. My diet was awful. It didn’t matter how good my intentions were I
could never maintain a diet. It would only have been a matter of time until I
turned into some type of creature that resembled Jabba the Hutt. This was the
reason I forced myself to train every single morning. I hated it. It was hard work,
but it kept me fit and in shape. It was my morning routine. I would do lots of
yoga based stretches, which would then turn into a selection of push ups, sit
ups, and squats, and end with a good solid warm down. I was now on push up
number fifty-six. I had been training like this for nearly eight months and
still my arms felt like they were turning to jelly.

Lucy watched from her position on the couch.

Her head would tilt from side to side with every
strained grunt that escaped my lips.

In the background I could hear the television. My
television was always on. I know it is a bad habit to leave the television on.
I can’t imagine the amount of electricity I am wasting, but for so many years I
have dreamt about the apocalypse. In this day and age news travels fast. If
something bad has happened then it would be on the television within fifteen
minutes. This was why my television was always on. If something happened in the
world, I wanted to know about it. I had to know about it. In five days the
world would end. Something terrible was going to happen and life, as we know it,
will be gone. I have no idea why I am seeing these things. I don’t know why
this countdown has continued every single night in my dreams, but the day of
destruction is drawing nearer. I am just confused by the news. I don’t know how
it is going to happen. Will the devil suddenly appear out of the ground and
create some holy war between the astral plains? Will Yellow Stone erupt and
destroy the earth? Will a solar flare burn the planet? Will there be some kind
of zombie plague? Will a terrorist organisation drop a nuclear weapon and cause
world war three? Will an asteroid strike the planet? I have no idea what could
possibly happen. I would have thought that there would be some clue in the news,
but there was nothing. There were no military stalemates, or tensions that
could possible lead to a sudden war. There was no news of anything happening
regarding to the sun, space debris, or anything of this type. It was a quiet
news day again. The news reporter was more focused on the latest celebrity
divorce than anything important. I needed to know how it was going to happen.






Four: Clarissa


Lucy practically pulled me off the driveway, as we
set off on our morning walk. After training, my day officially started. The
first thing on the agenda was taking Lucy out into the forest. It didn’t matter
what the weather was like, Lucy and I never failed to go out on our walks. She
pulled slightly on her lead, as we crossed the road and headed down the street.
Several of my older neighbours greeted me with friendly welcomes, as I walked
by their homes. These people had lived here longer than me. They had watched me
grow up from a shy child, to a cheeky boy, to a grumpy teenager and now into
the secluded man that I was. My family had moved back up north, but I had
decided to stay down south. This was my home. I had lived here all my life. I
loved being so close to the forest, whilst being driving distance to the city,
and it just gave me a sort of comfort to know the area like the back of my

My cell phone began to ring.

The screen read, “Clarissa”.

‘Good morning,’ I sang into the phone. Talking to
Clarissa always put a smile on my face. The two of us had been the best of
friends since we were children. Our parents had always tried to set us up with
each other, but we have never actually officially dated. It isn’t the old
cliché about us being like brother and sister. We were not. I think our parents
would be shocked if they learned about all the naughty things we had done
together over the years. I fancied Clarissa. I know she liked me, too, but we
always had boyfriends and girlfriends. I didn’t really register the hot female
aspect of my best friend until my early teens when things started happening to
my body, but by that time she was already with Tyler. Tyler and Clarissa have
had an on and off relationship for years, but every time they are off I was
with Samantha. When Samantha and I were not together, Clarissa and Tyler were.
Now and again there would be a time where we were both single and when that
time occurred we had more sex than most people have hot dinners.

‘Morning, Logan. How are you doing today?’

‘I’m good. Are you working?’ I replied with a
question of my own.

‘Nope.’ I couldn’t see her, but I knew she was
smiling. ‘I’m just heading out to walk Holly.’

‘Great minds think alike.’

‘You already out with Lucy?’

‘Yes. I am nearly at the forest...’ the conversation
was cut short by the sound of furious barking. Something big hit the wooden
fence beside us. For a brief moment in time I thought the fence would come away
and the beast would break through. I could hear claws scratching to get out.
Lucy’s tail tucked down between her legs. It was the same damn thing every single
morning. This fucking dog went mental when we walked by its house. Lucy didn’t
bark back. She was sixteen years old and a friendly chilled out dog. She didn’t
have the slightest bit of aggression or anger in her. We quick stepped along
the pavement, but the dog followed us along the fence, barking like some kind
of demonic hound. ‘Give me a second, Clarissa.’ I spoke into the phone. Lucy
and I turned right on the street corner, which brought us along the front of
the evil dog’s property. Two young men, in their late teens, were working on a
motorbike in an open garage. They gifted me with a glare. Like owner, like dog.
I could see the dog through the metal bars in the back gate. It was big, it was
black and it looked like something that belonged in a horror movie. It was a
Rottweiler cross. I knew Rottweiler’s in the forest and they were lovely dogs,
but this one had something very wrong with it. I kept my head down and carried
on walking.

‘Sorry about that.’

‘Satan’s pup again?’ asked Clarissa.

‘Yes. That thing is fucking evil. I wish I didn’t
have to walk by its house every time.’

‘I don’t envy you.’

‘So, what were we saying?’

‘I was asking if you are walking Lucy, which you
clearly are. Do you want to meet at the usual place?’

BOOK: The Disaster Diaries: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Apocalypse
8.34Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

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