The Forever Broken (Broken #3) (4 page)

Seeing Sophia standing there bleeding made every instinct
I had in me as a man come to the surface. I didn’t care that DJ and Mya were
standing right next to us, I needed to get her and make her better.

When she pulled me into her I felt different to the other
times -
more
. I was in love with her, not Quinn. I loved Quinn, but not
in the same way. I think I’d always known that but was too coward to admit it,
with fear of hurting him.

I needed to talk to him and cut things off with us. He
deserved to be with someone who could lay beside him and never want to leave
that spot. I would have to come clean with Sophia about everything before we
could move forward from here. It would be awkward at first but it could work.

Fuck, I’m living in a dreamland. I still had DJ and Uncle
Jasper to get past before I’d ever be able to have something real with Sophia,
and that’s
if
she even forgives me herself. Shit, DJ’s problems felt
tame compared to the crap I’d gotten myself into.

“Are you coming out of this room today?” Dad asks, coming
into my room without knocking.

“Heard of privacy?” I bark and regret it straight away
when he closes the door with him still inside.

“Pardon?”

“I could have been naked for all you know,” I defend.

“Like I haven’t seen your bare ass before. Stop being a
little shit. Get your ass downstairs and eat what your mother wants to cook for
you. She’s worried about you and that makes her upset. One thing I don’t
tolerate is your mom upset, and you know it!” he warns, pointing a finger in my
direction. He was right, Mom was his world. She was always his priority because
we were hers. I hated making her worry about me.

“Fine, I’ll be down in ten.”

I watch him leave and envy that the only thing he was
worried about was me upsetting Mom. I force myself to get up and dressed and
make it downstairs to the smell of bacon. Mom’s back is to me but I begin to
sweat when I hear a sniffle. Fuck, she’s crying. Dad’s going to have my balls.

“Mom, come on, I’m fine. You can cook me something. I
promise I’ll eat it,” I try with the pouty face that used to get me extra shit
at the candy store when I was a kid.

Her bright green eyes turn to me, they’re red around the
rims and it makes me feel like shit.

“Did you write this? Is this how you feel?”

She hands me a crumpled piece of paper.

Twisted vines wrapping around my heart.

Sharp, jagged edges, tearing the flesh apart.

I’m bleeding in silence but there is no illustration,

No evidence on the outside to show my frustration.

Go to sleep and get up, it’s so simple to the ears.

But I can’t get up, I’m frozen to my bed with
unreasonable fears.

I hear the words when you tell me you care,

But the inner voice lies to me when you’re not there.

I want to feel pretty; I want to feel strong. I want
to feel wanted, instead I feel wrong.

Ugly and broken, ashamed of my lie because I’ll do
anything to not want to die.

 
What the fuck?
“Where did you get this?”

“Just tell me if you wrote it,” she asks in a sharp tone
I don’t often hear from her.

“No, I didn’t, and it’s just a poem, Mom. Why are you
crying?”

“Because you’ve not been out of your room for days and then
I find that note or poem or whatever it is on the hallway floor.”

“It’s probably Sophia’s, she’s always writing shit. She
takes a writing class, it will be for that,” I assure her. “I’m starving.” I
add sniffles again.

She smiles before doing an awkward laugh. “Are you sure
that’s what it is?”

“Yes, Mom. I’ll give it back to her and make sure, but
trust me, okay?”

She’s embarrassed and I’m the biggest asshole on the
planet for making her feel that insane over me.

***

It’s late but I really needed to sort things out with
Quinn to give my own headspace some peace. The sooner it was done, the sooner I
could lock myself away and stress over telling Sophia. Fuck, if Mom found out
the real reason I was hiding out she would freak out and probably kill me herself.

I try the handle on the front door of Quinn’s house and
I’m surprised when it gives under my hand. Uncle Derek is strict as fuck on
security so whoever left it unlocked will be getting a shitstorm from him
later.

I’m hoping Uncle Jasper isn’t home and when I’m greeted
by an exhausted looking Aunt Ky, I inwardly sigh in relief.

“Hey, Honey. DJ and Sophia are out but Quinn is upstairs.”
She wraps her arms around me and gets on her tiptoes to peck my cheek. “Have
you eaten?”

“Yes, thank you, Mom made her spaghetti.”

“Oh, now I’m jealous.” She smiles.

I leave her to go up to Quinn. I feel weird about just
walking in so I knock and that just makes things weirder because I’ve never
knocked before.

“Mom, I’m naked!” he bellows.

Fantastic.

“It’s Blay!” I call out.

The door swings open and he’s standing there fully-clothed.
I raise a brow and he gestures for me to come in.

The room stinks of smoke, causing me to cough.

“Dude, that’s not naked.”

“I was smoking; you know she’ll freak if she finds out. I
can’t deal with being told by three different parents how bad for me it is.”

“Well...” I start but cut off when he holds up his hand.

“Or you telling me either.”

It’s a nasty habit. His whole room stinks and the stench clings
to his clothes for ages after he’s smoked.

“So where is everyone?” I ask, trying to make
conversation. Everything feels different and disjointed, making me
uncomfortable.

Quinn slumps down at his computer and types a few things
out. “DJ is more than likely balls-deep in some clueless bimbo and Sophia left
the house dressed like an expensive hooker… but a hooker all the same.”

Feeling his words penetrate all the way to my gut my hand
itches to pull out my cell and ring her to find out where she was so I could go
get her. However, I was here to talk to Quinn and I needed to get it done. “Why
are you in?” I ask.

“I have a shit ton of work to do for tomorrow so Doritos
and Coke is the only party I’m having tonight.” He stops what he’s doing and
turns the chair around to face me. “Unless you’re here for some other kind of
party?” He cocks a brow.

I laugh but it’s more nervous than humorous. Fuck, why
was this so hard?  “Listen, Quinn, I wanted to talk to you about things.”

“You don’t have to say it, Blay.”

My eyes meet his and there’s pain but also acceptance
reflected back at me. He shrugs. “I knew you weren’t like me but it was fun
while it lasted, right?”

He’s using a defensive mechanism and I hate that he has
to do that. I care about him and don’t want this to affect him with later
relationships.

“We were more than fun, Quinn, you’ll always be more than
that to me, but I can’t give you everything you deserve and need.”

“I got asked out today.” He interrupts, grinning over at
me. I’m surprised how well he’s taking this and just decide to roll with how he
wants to deal. This was Quinn after all and he had this way of letting
everything just roll off his shoulders.

“Oh yeah?” I ask, leaning back on his bed.

“I was just going to stalk his Facebook page before you
got here. Want to check him out?”

“So that’s the work due tomorrow?” I quip.

“Fuck that, it can wait.”

And just like that we’re back to being just Blay and
Quinn.

My head hurts and feels thick, too heavy to lift from the
pillow. I’m freezing cold.
Did I leave the window open?

Prying my eyes open I take in the room. Green walls
covered in half naked girly posters. I sit up quickly, hissing when the pain in
my head disagrees with moving.
I’m naked.
Memories of this exact thing
happening before taunts me and my body begins to tremor.

I quickly get to my feet, scanning the room for
familiarity or other people but I’m alone and nothing makes sense. A dull ache
ripples through my body. Closing my eyes in shame I slowly drop my hand to
cover myself the best I can. A small sob retches from my chest. What had I
done? How can this happen again?

Because you let it, whore.

Grabbing at the blanket laid askew on the bed to cover my
frame, I silently scream into the empty room.

I need to get out of here, go home and try to wash the
shame away.

 I need clothes.

Where are my clothes?

My eyes frantically search for the dress I was wearing
last night, Mya’s dress. But it’s not here. What the hell?

I’m going to have to wear something from the closet of
whoever’s room this is. I search my memory for a recollection of last night but
all I have is arriving at the party and sitting on the couch drinking.

I rummage through the closet and find some sweats and a
baggy tee. I have to roll the waist a few times, and the tee isn’t very thick,
which gives away the fact I’m braless.

I should call Quinn to come get me but I can’t listen to
the third degree from him right now.

Searching the floor for my purse, I sigh in relief when I
spot it just under the bed.

There’s sleeping bodies scattered throughout the house as
I make my way out of there, praying no one wakes up and sees my walk of shame.
Once my feet hit the ground I take off running. I have no shoes on and feel my
feet tear from the harsh ground beneath them.

When I get to the bridge I debate jumping in and letting
the water cleanse away my sin but I keep on going until I reach home.

I tiptoe up the stairs but know it’s pointless, Dad has
cameras at the front door so he will know I came in this morning and not last
night. They weren’t very strict parents but we did have rules and if we were
staying out we had to call to let them know.

I make it to the door of my room and just as I’m about to
open it DJ’s door opens and Blaydon fills the frame.
Perfect.

I shake my head when he assesses my attire. He looks
shocked and hurt. His mouth is slightly ajar and his eyes grow heavy.

“Where have you been?”

“I…just…”

“Sophia?” he questions like he doesn’t even recognise me.

Crap, he’s coming towards me, I can’t let him touch me
when I’m tainted.

“Sophia, go shower and get your own clothes on. We’re
going to talk later.”

Oh God, could this get any worse?

“What the hell’s going on?”

Yes… Yes it could.

Now both my Dads are standing there glaring at me and
Blaydon.

“Tell me that’s one of your brother’s outfits?”

“It’s mine, Uncle Derek,” Blay pipes up. “She went out
with Mya last night and crashed at ours.”

“Weren’t you here last night?” he questions.

“Yeah, she was just letting me know that she needed to
borrow my clothes but she’s going to wash them.”

“Huh, she means her mom will. Sophia doesn’t know what a
washing machine is, just ask Jasp, she turned his favorite shirt pink.” He
huffs before going back to his room.

“Blay, downstairs now, and for the record, I rock pink.”

Blay looks at me before following my dad downstairs.
He
must know Blay is lying.

A sick stirring aggravates my gut after seeing Sophia
come home wearing some douchebag’s clothes. Were those rumours right about her?
I don’t want to believe that. Maybe she didn’t do anything and just crashed at
a friend’s… no she looked guilty …ashamed.

Fuck, I hate this, it’s fucking karma. I want to run back
to her room and demand she tells me who, when, where, but Uncle Jasper is
pacing in front of me, angry as sin.

“I told you to end it,” he growls.

“I crashed in DJ’s room, I swear,” I defend, holding up
my hands.

“She’s acting out and we’re worried about her. She can’t
handle finding out that you’ve been playing her and her fucking brother.”

“I know. I’m not playing them. I’ve ended things with
Quinn,” I rush out but I sound like a dick.

“And now you’ll end things with her before it’s too late
and the shit hits the fan. Don’t make me go to your dad with this shit, he will
be more disappointed in you than I am. If Kyra or River find out, you’ll know
how tame I’m being on you. If it was anyone else I would have kicked five
shades of hell out of him.”

I know he’s right but I can’t end things with Sophia. I
love her. Whatever the fuck is happening with her right now I want to be there
to see her through it.

“Are you hearing me?”

“Yeah,” I lie.

“Good. Go get fed. Kyra will be down in a minute and then
get your ass home.”

***

Why did everyone try and feed us constantly. Aunt Kyra
was worse than Mom in the mornings. My insides were nauseous from thinking
about Sophia, the whole time I had to sit there knowing she was above me in her
room, yet I couldn’t go to her. Quinn had joined us and was busy showing his mom
this Stevie kid who had asked him out. Both Aunt Ky and Uncle Jasper agreed he
was cute and that he should go out with him. I waited for jealousy to come but
it didn’t. I was relieved if anything that he was already moving on and not
like some of the girls I’d been with in the past who became clingy and emotional
with me.

Pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, mushrooms, tomatoes,
squeezed orange juice, bread, yogurt, and fruit. Anyone would think we’re at a
resort on an all-inclusive luxury banquet with the feast Aunt Kyra put out. I
left there with a gut full of food and a brain full of confusion.

My day already sucked and just to top it off I walked in
our house to find Dad having Mom for breakfast on the kitchen table. I was
never eating there again and was going straight upstairs to bleach my eyes out.
Apparently, that’s what happens when all their kids stay out for the night.

***

I showered and crashed; waking up to my cell beeping like
crazy. Swiping the screen, I hoped it was Sophia trying to explain this morning
away but it wasn’t, it was from random friends telling me to check my emails.
What
the hell?

I push the covers back and slink over to my laptop,
switching it on. My door bursts open, making me let out a weird girly screech.
“Mya! Fuck!”

“Blay, have you seen it?” She looks like she’s been
crying.

What was going on?

Dread crept over me.

“Seen what?”