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Authors: Helen Brooks

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‘We have to discuss this properly. You know that.'

It was a statement, not a question, but she answered it as though it had been the latter when she said, her voice as cool and distant as she could make it, ‘There's nothing to discuss.'

His compelling light eyes narrowed at the words. ‘If you felt disturbed enough to make that ridiculous suggestion about resigning I'd say there's every need,' he said grimly. He perched on the edge of her desk—a habit of his and one which always sent her senses haywire—and continued to survey her unblinkingly.

Why did he have to be so attractive? she asked herself rawly. So incredibly, overwhelmingly attractive? She dared bet that there wasn't a female in the building, in the whole of Cambridge, who wouldn't jump at the chance of having an affair with Lucas Kane.

Was he seeing someone at the moment? The thought was entirely inappropriate in the circumstances but she couldn't help it.

‘I've…I've change my mind about that,' she managed at last.

‘Of course you have.' It was dismissive, as though the idea had been so ludicrous it wasn't worth mentioning. ‘But nevertheless we need to discuss what happened.'

Her cheeks were scarlet again, she could feel them burning, and yet he was as cool and unfeeling as the polished granite his eyes seemed to have been fashioned from. But he hadn't been so unfathomable and cold when he'd been holding her in his arms. The thought made Kim's cheeks even hotter. He had been aroused then, hugely aroused, and
it had been
her
body, her lips and mouth and tongue that had made him tremble with desire. She didn't know if she found the thought alarming or comforting but she did find it exciting, and that was more than dangerous enough to cope with.

‘Look, Lucas, I'm prepared to look at it as a mistake, one of those things that happen now and again when people of the opposite sex work so closely together as we do,' Kim said with a steadiness she was proud of. ‘It didn't mean anything—'

‘The hell it didn't.'

It wasn't at all the response she'd expected and cut off all coherent reasoning. ‘Wha…what did you say?'

‘Kim, I don't know what sort of man you think I am,' Lucas said smoothly, his thick black lashes masking the flicker of anger her words had wrought, ‘but when I kissed you it sure as hell meant something to both of us.'

‘I didn't mean I didn't enjoy it,' she said quickly, without thinking. She heard him draw in a quick hard breath and realised her
faux pas
. ‘I mean…' Her voice trailed away helplessly.

Lucas rescued her with his normal calm composure. ‘You've worked for me for five months and I've wanted to see what you tasted like from day one,' he said as coolly as though he was asking her to type a letter. ‘Why do you think I haven't dated anyone in all that time?'

‘You haven't?' She checked herself quickly. Breathless murmuring was not the way to deal with this.

‘And I've been patient,' he continued with silky quietness. More patient than she'd ever know.

‘But…'

“Yes?'

‘I work for you.'

Lucas ignored every principle he'd ever worked by and
said calmly, ‘So? You're unattached and so am I. That's the only important thing, surely?'

Was he stark staring mad? Kim had spent five months fighting off the most devastating feeling of sexual attraction, which had frightened her far more than it thrilled her—at least, the potential power it gave to Lucas frightened her—and the only reason she was still working for Lucas Kane was because she had convinced herself the attraction was all on her side. To get involved, to have a
relationship
with a man like him, was too alarming, too utterly insane and impossible even to consider.

She stared at him, the breadth of his shoulders under the white silk shirt he was wearing suddenly oppressive, and wetted her dry lips. His eyes followed her tongue unblinkingly, his firm, cynical mouth slightly pursed, and her traitorous libido wanted to explode. It was further confirmation that an affair with Lucas was unthinkable. If he would affect her so badly without even touching her…

‘It's out of the question, Lucas.'

‘I don't accept that,' he said immediately in answer to her trembling voice. ‘I'm not asking you to leap into bed with me—' Liar! his conscience screamed silently ‘—just for us to get to know each other without the pressure of a work environment.'

‘I…I can't do that. There's Melody—'

‘Melody isn't a problem.'

‘It isn't just that.' She took a deep breath, her mind suddenly clear. ‘I don't want to get involved with anyone, a man, ever again,' she stated firmly. ‘I've been through all that and it didn't work.'

‘With your husband, you mean?' he asked softly. And at her nod he shook his own head, his voice low and husky as he said, ‘Don't let him spoil the rest of your life, Kim.'

‘I'm not, but it
is
my life now and that's what I like.' Her dark-brown eyes held Lucas's gaze with an earnestness
that was almost childlike. ‘I…I don't think I'm the sort of person who should ever be with someone else, not really.' Graham had flung that at her once in a drunken rage but the barb had held and dug itself deep into her mind.

‘What rubbish.' Kim lifted her chin in unconscious defiance and he added, ‘Who told you that? Slimeball?'

‘Slime… Oh, Graham?'

He could tell by the flush that rose in her cheeks he was on the right tack and anger thickened his voice as he said, ‘Don't judge the whole male race by the lowest specimen, Kim, and sure as hell don't take on board anything he said. The guy was crazy not to appreciate what he had.'

‘You don't know how it was,' she said defensively. ‘It wasn't just Graham, it was… Oh, you don't know.'

Lucas expelled a silent breath. This was the first time she had talked to him, really talked to him, and he didn't want her to close up again. ‘No, I don't know how it was,' he agreed quietly, ‘so why don't you tell me?'

‘I can't.' The colour had drained from her face, leaving it chalk-white. How could she make someone like Lucas understand what it had been like all those years in the children's home? Wanting,
aching
to belong to a family, to have people she could call her own? And then, as she had gone into her teens and realised it wasn't going to happen, she had purposely grown a protective shell, telling herself she didn't care, that she would make it on her own and blow the rest of the world.

And then Graham had happened in her first year at university. Handsome, charming Graham, sweeping her off her feet with all his attention. She had thought he loved her, believed everything he'd said, and it hadn't been until after they had been married that she had come to realise—through something he had yelled at her in one of their rows—that the main reason he had been interested in her
was because several of his friends had wanted her. Graham always had to be the one who was admired and envied.

But Graham had given her Melody. By accident, admittedly, but Melody was worth a hundred times the heartache Graham had put her through. And now she had her family and she didn't need anyone else. She wouldn't let herself need anyone else. Needing Graham had made her vulnerable and exposed and weak and she would never give that power to a man again.

Lucas had watched the changing emotions wash over her white, fragile face and he knew she wasn't about to say any more—not here and now, anyway. She didn't trust him, he wasn't even sure if she liked him very much, but she couldn't deny the physical attraction between them. His bruised ego seized on the thought but it was scant comfort.

No woman had ever treated him as Kim had done. He had thought, at first, that the air of cool restraint would mellow as she settled into the job, but it had got stronger, if anything. That night at her home he had felt as though he was treading on eggshells, damn it, and all the ground he thought he'd gained over the last weeks now seemed to exist only in his imagination. She might look fragile and breakable but she was as hard as iron underneath.

So why didn't he cut his losses and congratulate himself on having an efficient and beautiful secretary who was clearly interested in her career and nothing else, and leave it at that? He had any number of women he could call who had made it clear in the past that they were available. Successful, confident, attractive career women. Women with no hang-ups, no inhibitions.

A loud knock at Kim's outer door, followed by the big, rotund figure of John Powell, Lucas's general manager, effectively finished the conversation. It brought Lucas to his feet; the other man was waving a file at his managing director as he said, ‘Those subcontractors you wanted the
low-down on? You were right, Lucas. We shouldn't touch them with a barge-pole.'

Perfect timing as always, John. Lucas kept his thoughts to himself, but his voice was curt when he said, ‘Come into my office, John, and tell me what you've got.' He didn't alter the tone as he added, ‘Coffee when you're ready, Mrs Allen.'

Coffee when you're ready, Mrs Allen.

Kim sat for some moments without moving after the door to Lucas's office had closed and she was alone.

The kiss, their conversation, all the emotion of the last half an hour or so hadn't meant a thing to him, not really. He looked on her as a challenge, if anything—that was it at base level. She hadn't fallen into his arms as women were prone to do with Lucas—she ignored the fact that that was exactly what she had done, both physically and metaphorically, that morning—or fluttered her eyelashes or given him the come-on over the coffee cups.

She rose slowly, angry with herself and Lucas. Did she believe he hadn't dated since she'd started at Kane Electrical? Kim considered the thought as she prepared the coffee tray, her slender hands moving mechanically as she frowned into space. Yes, she thought she did; Lucas wouldn't lie.

Lucas wouldn't lie? The moment it entered her mind, she attacked the thought like a terrier with a rabbit. Just because her boss was honest—brutally honest, on occasion—with regard to his business dealings, it certainly didn't mean he was equally honourable and veracious in his dealings with women, she told herself caustically.

Kim suddenly remembered Graham. She had believed him, trusted him, and look where it had got her. One mistake was understandable; a second would verge on stupidity. And she was not a stupid woman. He had called her that many times. She shut her eyes and could almost hear
the echo of past fights. Graham had been cruel, spectacularly cruel when he'd been under the influence of alcohol. She had heard it said that an excess of alcohol revealed the real person beneath the social niceties civilisation imposed on the human race, and in Graham's case it hadn't been pleasant.

By the time she carried in the coffee tray Kim was the epitome of the cool blonde, her mouth set in a polite smile and her manner courteous.

‘Thank you.' Lucas raised his dark head and looked straight into her eyes as she placed the tray on his desk, and in spite of her acute discomfort Kim felt there was some genuine concern as his narrowed eyes searched her face.

She berated herself for the weakness as soon as she was safely back in her office. June had said he was a Lothario, hadn't she? Well, Lucas's previous secretary hadn't actually said that
exactly
, she admitted in the next instant, but June had implied that Lucas was a love 'em and leave 'em type, and she ignored that at her peril.

She sipped her own coffee, her head whirling, and then contemplated the pile of work needing her attention with a rueful twist to her lips. Enough. She was here to do a job of work and that was exactly what she would do. This morning had been a regrettable hiccup but that was all it had been. She had to get a handle on this.

Lucas Kane was her boss
and that was all he was
. She would be doubly careful not to infringe on his privacy in any way from this day forth—although she didn't think she had done so before—in order not to give him the wrong impression.

And the things he had said? The little voice in her head was determined to be heard. About wanting to kiss her from day one? Wanting to get to know her better?

Kim breathed in and then out very slowly, flexing her
fingers on the keyboard and refusing to let the feeling of panic consume her. She wouldn't think about it. It might be the easy way out but it was necessary for her sanity!

She had made it perfectly clear to Lucas how she felt about any sort of personal relationship with him. And he was a proud man, arrogant even, and certainly egotistical. He would disregard all that had happened today, if she knew anything about it, pretend it hadn't happened and perhaps even concentrate his attention on some delectable female he could parade in front of her to make the point, that she—his secretary—was easily forgotten. Yes, that was what he'd do.

John Powell left Lucas's office ten minutes later and after a minute or two Lucas popped his head round the interconnecting door. ‘I've reserved a table for two at a nice little place I know tonight,' he said expressionlessly. ‘Be ready at eight.' And the door closed without further discussion.

CHAPTER SIX

R
IGHT
up until the moment Kim found herself on Maggie's doorstep, asking her friend if she could call round later to babysit, Kim would have sworn she had no intention of keeping her date with Lucas.

She had told him so several times throughout the course of what had been, for Kim, a particularly trying day, but it had been like talking to a brick wall. And she just didn't know how to deal with such intractability, Kim admitted silently to herself on the drive home from Maggie's.

In the two years since Graham had died she had had to freeze several advances from hopeful suitors, but it had been easy. A polite thank you but no thank you, a severe look if they'd needed further persuasion and that had been that. But what had worked admirably with the manager at the local supermarket, an old university friend of Graham's and one or two hopeful admirers from clients of Curtis & Brackley had not cut any ice with Lucas Kane.

She had tried to keep everything on a strictly businesslike basis that day, but Lucas had appeared to find her efforts amusing rather than anything else, Kim reflected irritably as she fixed Melody's tea.

But she would spell it out for him tonight, in letters a mile high if necessary, she told herself grimly. She was
not
going to start a relationship with anyone in the forseeable future, least of all Lucas Kane. Her priority in life was Melody—first and foremost. She didn't want or need anyone else.

Maggie arrived early but Kim had known she would. She hadn't been able to say anything more than that she needed
her friend to babysit for eight o'clock when she had called by on her way home from collecting Melody, conscious of small ears twitching, but when Maggie had asked—naturally enough—where Kim was going and with whom, and she had mentioned Lucas Kane, Maggie's eyes had nearly popped out of her head.

Melody was tucked up in bed waiting for Maggie to arrive and read her a story, and after Maggie had called up to say she wouldn't be a minute or two, she had taken Kim's arm in a powerful grip and whisked her into the little sitting room.

‘Well?' Maggie's nice homely face was agog. ‘What gives with the tycoon?'

‘Lucas, you mean?'

‘You have more than one fabulously rich and gorgeous man asking you out?'

‘He's not gorgeous.' It was too quick and they both knew it, and as Kim watched Maggie's eyes narrow speculatively she said more carefully, ‘I mean he's just my boss, that's all.'

‘And he's taking you out to dinner as what? A little treat for one of his employees?' Maggie asked a trifle sarcastically. ‘Come on, Kim, this is Maggie, remember? So, I ask you again, what gives?'

‘Oh, Maggie.' It was a hushed wail. ‘It's all such a
mess
.' She told Maggie all of it and at the end Maggie nodded sagely, like a wise little ginger owl.

‘I knew you'd been on edge these last months but I thought it was just worry about holding down the job,' she said quietly, her eyes sympathetic. ‘Why didn't you tell me before, Kim? It might have helped. I don't pretend to have all the answers—look at me and Pete—but I'm always ready to listen.'

‘I know.' Kim lifted tragic eyes. ‘And perhaps I'm being ridiculous at panicking anyway. I'm only going out for din
ner with him and any other girl would be only too pleased at the opportunity of an evening with Lucas Kane.'

‘You're not any other girl, though,' Maggie said gently, ‘and perhaps he has the good sense to realise it. Maybe he's serious about you, Kim.'

‘I hope not.' Kim's voice was suddenly firmer. ‘It's a terrific job and I'd hate to have to leave it.'

‘You'd do that? Even fancying him the way you do?'

Kim dragged in a deep breath and expelled it quietly. ‘I don't want a man in my life, Maggie,' she said grimly. ‘Not now, not ever. I've done all that, I've got the T-shirt, and in my case it really is once bitten, twice shy.'

‘But he wouldn't be like Graham,' Maggie said softly. ‘You do see that, don't you? You can't let Graham ruin your life, Kim.'

‘Funny, that's exactly what Lucas said.' Kim smiled at Maggie, a sad little bitter smile as she added, ‘But I don't see it that way. Besides, how long do you think a man like Lucas would be interested in someone like me? A month—two, maybe? It might stretch to six at a pinch. I don't belong in his world, Maggie.'

‘How do you know that unless you give it a try?' Maggie asked reasonably.

‘I know, all right.' Kim suddenly wanted the conversation to end. ‘Anyway, there's Melody to consider too, don't forget. I don't want her getting fond of someone only for them to disappear in a little while. There's one or two of her friends who have “uncles” who are here today and gone tomorrow, a new father-figure every time the wind changes. My child isn't going to have to go through that.'

‘Okay, okay.' Maggie had the wisdom to know when to call a halt. ‘Anyway, it's nearly half-past seven; you'd better go and get dressed.'

Kim had just walked out of the shower when Maggie had knocked, and was still wearing her bathrobe with her
wet hair bundled in a handtowel turban-style, and now she glanced at the sitting room clock in horror before flying out of the room, calling over her shoulder as she made for the cottage's narrow stairs, ‘Melody's milk and biscuits are ready on a tray in the kitchen. I said you'd read to her while she eats her supper.'

‘No problem.' Maggie continued to stare after her friend for a moment or two before walking through into the neat and sparkling kitchen, and her broad freckled face was anxious. No problem, she had said, but unless she was very much mistaken there was a problem of momentous proportions brewing here.

Kim was lovely, exquisitely lovely to look at, but more than that she was lovely inside where it counts. But vulnerable, painfully vulnerable, and she hid that vulnerability behind an armour that somehow this Lucas Kane had managed to penetrate—whether Kim acknowledged it or not. And that wasn't good.

Maggie frowned to herself as she reached for the tray and made her way upstairs. She'd have a good look at this tycoon who was so apparently irresistible tonight, and if she thought he was the type to give Kim the run-around—well, she'd just have a good look at him tonight and take it from there, she told herself stoutly, but her mouth was set in an uncharacteristically grim line and her expression was formidable.

Kim wasn't downstairs when Lucas knocked at the front door just before eight, so after warning Melody to stay in bed Maggie made her somewhat ponderous way to the front door.

‘Good evening.' Lucas smiled at the dour-faced woman in the doorway. ‘You must be Maggie. I'm Lucas Kane.' He held out a huge bunch of flowers as he added, ‘These are for you, to say thanks for babysitting at such short notice.'

Maggie smiled back as she took the flowers—she could hardly do anything else, she told herself silently, when she experienced a moment's contrition at her easy capitulation, besides which she had to admit Lucas had quite taken her breath away—and managed to say, a little breathlessly for her, ‘Come in, won't you? Kim will be down in a moment.'

‘She's trying to dry her nails but they're taking
ages
.'

This last was from Melody who, unbeknown to both her mother and Maggie, had slid out of bed and was now perched at the top of the stairs, staring through the banisters at Lucas with great brown eyes.

‘Are they?' As Maggie and Lucas glanced upward, Lucas grinned at the tiny miniature of Kim. ‘Mine took ages, too,' he assured her solemnly.

‘Silly.' Melody giggled and wriggled her small body. ‘It's only ladies who paint their nails.'

‘You're supposed to be in bed, young lady.' Maggie was flustered and it was a new feeling for her, one she didn't care for. ‘Back you go and I'll be up in a minute to finish that story.'

‘Here, take this before you go.' Lucas reached into the pocket of his overcoat and drew out a small wrapped package which he threw up to Melody, who caught it deftly. ‘That's for being a good girl for your Aunt Maggie. You are going to be a good girl, aren't you?'

‘Melody's always a good girl.' Maggie felt she had lost control of the situation somehow and she wasn't quite sure how it had happened.

‘I'm sure she is.' Lucas smiled down at Maggie again, his voice soothing, and then as Melody shrieked her delight with the beautifully dressed little teddy bear the parcel had contained, he added quietly, ‘You go up and see to her, Maggie. I'm fine, really. I'll just sit and wait for Kim.'

‘Right.' Maggie stared at him, nonplussed and out of her depth. ‘I'll just put the flowers in the kitchen.' She looked
down at the magnificent array of yellow roses, white carnations, baby's breath and freesias, and then, as she glanced at Lucas again, she saw his mouth was twitching.

‘I admit it, I'm trying to win you over,' he said softly, reading her mind so aptly Maggie turned beetroot-red. ‘I need all the help I can get with Kim.'

‘I…I'll put the flowers in water.' Maggie berated herself as soon as she'd left the room for not seizing on such a
perfect
opportunity to ask Lucas how he felt about Kim, but somehow—now he was here in the flesh and a hundred times more daunting than ever Kim had described—she hadn't dared.

Which made her the wimp of the decade, she told herself irritably as she hurried upstairs to Melody's pretty pink and cream bedroom which she and Kim, along with Pete, had decorated the first weekend Kim had moved into her new house.

Just a few yards along the landing, Kim was surveying herself in the full-length mirror in her bedroom. She hadn't known what to wear—what did women wear for a date with a multi-millionaire anyway? she thought with wry humour—but had finally put on one of the two new evening outfits she had bought a couple of months before, courtesy of Kane Electrical's clothing allowance.

The sleeveless olive-green silk and cashmere dress had a matching waist-length cashmere jacket and had cost an arm and a leg, but when Kim had seen it in one of the more exclusive little shops in Cambridge she had known it was eminently suitable for any evening function she might attend as Lucas's secretary. It was chic without being ostentatious, elegant and stylish, and fitted her like a dream. The colour emphasised the striking contrast between her hair and her eyes and brought out the honey-gold tone of her skin to the extent she had gasped when she had first tried the outfit on.

What would Lucas think when he saw her? She caught at the thought, refusing to let it have head room, but nevertheless the thrill of excitement the beautiful clothes had induced lingered in spite of herself, and as Kim applied a dab of perfume to each wrist and small crystal studs to her ears her hands were trembling.

She popped in to kiss Melody goodnight before she nerved herself to go downstairs, and as she stepped into the room her daughter's eyes widened appreciatively. ‘You look so pretty, Mummy, like the princess in Aunty Maggie's story.'

‘Thank you, precious.' Kim sat down on the edge of the bed and gathered the small body close, careless of the new outfit. Melody smelt of baby powder and her soft blonde hair was still slightly damp from her bath and curling slightly round the elfin face. Kim felt such a surge of love well up in her as her daughter's arms wound round her neck and Melody's lips pressed against hers that she closed her eyes against it, holding Melody against her heart for some seconds before she settled her daughter back under the duvet.

‘You look stunning.' Maggie had been with her when she had bought the outfit, and her voice was wry as she added, ‘But you'd look great in sackcloth and ashes, like I told you before.'

Kim smiled at her friend; she knew Maggie found her lack of confidence in her looks amazing but she couldn't help it. The years in the children's home followed by her disastrous marriage and Graham's mental abuse had damaged something deep in her psyche, and although she had fought back—and would continue to fight—she wasn't quite there yet.

But she looked good tonight. She gave a mental nod to the declaration as she stood up, her voice low as she said
to Maggie, ‘Well? What do you think?', inclining her head towards the door.

Maggie answered the unspoken question about Lucas by shaking her fingers as though they'd been burnt. ‘Wow.' One word but it covered everything.

And then both women turned to the small figure in the bed in consternation as Melody said, her piping voice very clear and direct, ‘
I
think Lucas is scrumptious.' One of Melody's Christmas presents had been a video of the film
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
, and ‘scrumptious' was her new word for the moment and used for all sorts of good things.

But Lucas? Kim glanced at Maggie anxiously and Maggie shrugged, her voice dry as she said, ‘Bright as a button, and serves us right for being so arrogant to think we could talk in code with Miss Muffet around.'

‘I do, I think he's scrumptious.' Melody had caught the vibes concerning her new hero and wasn't having any of it. ‘Look what Lucas brought me, Mummy.' She held up the little bear for Kim's inspection.

‘Lovely, darling.'

‘He brought me flowers.' Maggie's voice was magnificently expressionless.

‘He did?' Kim eyed her helplessly. ‘But I hadn't told him you'd be babysitting.'

‘You might not have told him but he knew anyway.'

The two women stared at each other for another long moment and then Kim said, her tone one of resignation, ‘I'd better go down.'

The sitting room door was open, and as Kim came down the stairs and reached the threshold, Lucas turned from his quiet contemplation of the garden and Kim received a bolt of electricity as the thickly lashed, curiously silver eyes looked at her. He didn't say a word for what seemed like an eternity; he just stared at her, the most strange expression on his hard, attractive face.

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