The Lady Who Lived Again (8 page)

“He’s a doctor. I’m a curiosity.”

He frowned. “You’re no such thing.”

“Perhaps you can speak to Rhetta and Gil?” she asked, changing the subject. “If anyone questions them about the engagement, they can simply mention that Doctor Merrick made house calls here.”

His eyes dimmed as he nodded. “They’re loyal to a fault,” he said. “No worries there.” He took another sip of port and stared back toward the lake. “After your parents died, I made a promise at their graves to protect you.”

“None of this is your fault. You must know that.”

“Perhaps. But it changes nothing. Men should be lined up to court you, the way they used to be. You should be engaged to a man who loves you, planning to start a family of your own, not clinging to the fading shreds of the one you have.” His icy hand reached for hers. “I only wish you’d reconsider leaving—”

“You’ll not get rid of me so easily,” she said, fighting back tears. “And neither will they.”

He stared at her, his eyes so sad.

“This is my home,” she uttered.

“But after I’m gone…?”

“That won’t be for ages, old man.” She forced a teasing smile. “In the meanwhile, I must do this. And as frightening as it is to face them, it’s time I rejoin the world.”

With surprising strength, his bony fingers gripped hers in the paper thinness of his hand.

“You’re a strong girl. You’ll be fine.”

Whether the reassurance was for her benefit or his, she felt better.

“I’ve missed Amelia terribly. A part of me is actually looking forward to the wedding.”

“Of course. And you and Doctor Merrick will make a very handsome couple.” His tired eyes sparkled. “I’m a fine judge of character. He’ll help you get what you want.” He slid his hand from hers and turned back toward the water. He seemed pleased by the idea of her and Jace. Too pleased. She could hear it in the tune he began to hum. This practical, no-nonsense man was so deeply worried about Maddie’s future he was willing to pin his hopes on an illusion.

Maddie stood, staring down at him.

“It’s a ruse, Grandfather. Please keep that in mind.”

He glanced up with a trembling smile.

“I will, if you will, girl,” he said with a wink.

Maddie didn’t know where to begin. Standing amid the clutter in the alcove that made up Jace’s office, she was struck by the feeling she would be more housemaid here than office assistant.

“I’ve made some progress,” Jace said.

She glanced out to the patient waiting area, trying to see where. Beneath the newly patched ceiling, several of the larger trunks had been shoved to the outermost corners of the room, but there were piles and crates of books and miscellaneous items everywhere else.

“Are those potatoes?” she asked.

He nodded, gazing at the heaping crate by the sofa.

“One peck to be exact. Payment for lancing a boil.”

“Of course,” she said, suppressing a smile.

“I’ve also earned five pounds of fresh dressed deer meat and a sack of feed for my horse. And the office has yet to open officially.”

“I assume your wages in Pittsburgh fit more easily into your pocket?”

He shrugged, grinning.

“Such exchanges are customary in the country, I’m told. I’m literally earning my supper, but I appreciate compensation in all forms.” He maneuvered through the clutter. “Once you’re done shelving the books, you can start unpacking the trunks.” He pointed to a pile of items on the floor. “Put those things in one of the empty crates, and I’ll donate them to the clinic in Troy.” He turned back to the task of dragging a crate of books across the floor.

It was as if their kiss had never happened. She didn’t know what she’d expected, but he didn’t seem the least bit awkward in her presence. He didn’t seem anything at all. She knew she should feel relieved, but his indifference bothered her. A lot.

Her attraction to him was not so easy to dismiss. Neither was her urge to explore it. Everything she’d missed during the past three years of her stalled life—all her buried passion for living—was now bubbling to the surface. She could practically feel her desire for this man escaping through her pores.

From the corner of her eye she watched as he searched through the crate. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, exposing his forearms. His hair hung over his face. Maddie wasn’t sure which aspect of him she preferred—the rugged, disheveled man with the flexing muscles she saw now, or the distinguished, finely attired gentleman who’d visited over tea at the house. He was two opposing sides of a coin with no losing toss.

Less than ten minutes alone with him and all she could think of was his lips on hers. Pathetic. Well, she’d made her own bed, she supposed.

Carrying a pile of books, he gestured with his chin toward the tall bookcase.

“I’ll relocate those books to a lower shelf so you can arrange them with these.” He set the books on the desk.

The cramped corner allowed her little space for maneuvering and even less space for two. From behind her, he reached for the hefty volumes on the shelf above. Her senses peaked. His chest brushed her shoulder, sending a rush of heat through her veins. Her body all but crackled with the tension of his nearness, the delicious smell of his neck. He glanced downward, acknowledging the contact. His eyes met hers in a flash of awareness that stilled her breath.

He felt it, too.

His gaze dropped to her mouth, and her lips parted in response as she waited, urging him with her eyes to move closer, to touch her, to forget about these dusty books and simply kiss her.
Please.

As if hearing her silent appeal, he shifted toward her. Her heart pounded. He licked his lips, his blue eyes darkening in the way they had before. She hung suspended on the edge of that look—that look that told her something wonderful was about to happen. He drew in a long breath. Grumbling a curse, he pulled the books from the shelf, then sidled in the opposite direction. The books landed with a thud on the desk he passed as he strode away. She stared after him, perplexed and disappointed. Closing her eyes, she released a frustrated sigh.

She’d missed her chance with Daniel. Back then, she’d assumed she had all the time in the world to explore physical desire. To discover what all the fuss was about. The accident changed everything. She knew now that there were no certainties in life, no guaranties or promises of tomorrow. There was only today, and she’d lost so much already. The secret ability she’d acquired in the aftermath would cost her more still. Truth and honesty, the bonds of trust that formed true love, an enduring marriage. These sacred things were forever out of her reach, so why not snatch up what passion she could?

Plus, it was clear that the girlish curiosity she’d felt for Daniel was a pale, paltry shadow when held against the powerful attraction she felt for Jace. Perhaps it was the force of her loneliness that drew her toward a man from whom she should be running. Or maybe the danger was part of the appeal. Either way, she might never have another chance to experience the bliss of so deep a craving. And if anyone found out? She was already a pariah, what did it matter if she ruined herself?

The more she justified the exciting prospect and the more she looked at Jace now, the more convinced she became that the risk to her heart would be worth it. Perhaps she could keep him so distracted with pleasant entertainments that he would conveniently forget his interest in her medical history. The sound of his voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

“I have to leave for an hour to check on Mrs. Tremont. Before I go, I wish to clear the air between us,” he said. “Regarding…what occurred the other day.”

Jace didn’t strike her as a man who minced words, and his repressive tone dismayed her.

“The kiss?”

“Yes, Madeline, the kiss. I shouldn’t have taken such liberties with you. You have my assurance that it will not happen again.”

Her heart sank to her knees. “May I ask why?”

He stared, stone-faced. “I’m a doctor.”

“You’re not my doctor.”

He blinked. “No. But you’re…”

“A grown woman,” she answered as he searched for words. “A fact you seem to have noticed.”

He conceded with a nod, his lips curving into a smile that stilled her breath.

“Yes, I’ve noticed, Maddie.” Any trace of humor melted as his sultry eyes moved down the length of her and back again.

A shiver snaked up her spine. Heat coiled in her belly. He wanted her. Despite her tattered reputation, he wanted her. His reluctance to act on his desire stemmed from something else entirely, and whatever it was, she was determined to conquer it.

She moved toward him, her steps slow and deliberate.

“Before the accident, I was quite sought after.”

“Undoubtedly.” His tone conveyed his amusement.

Not exactly the response she’d sought. Was he truly so dense?

“I had many suitors.”

His demeanor turned rigid as he regarded her closely.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I’ve been kissed before.” She lifted her chin. “And more than once.”

His wide eyes narrowed.

“Nevertheless, you’ve committed to sharing information about your recovery with me, and I intend to use it for a serious professional purpose. That means I will conduct myself properly for the duration of our bargain.” He reached for the medical bag at his feet. “I’ll be back in an hour.” Dismissing her with a nod, he left for his house call.

His sudden change in attitude vexed her. The good doctor had obviously caught a stubborn case of the moralities. Surely she could nudge him through this useless ethical dilemma. She had never been one to back down from a challenge, and she refused to start now.

“We’ll see about that,” she muttered as she rolled up her sleeves and went back to work.

She made her way to the front window in the waiting room, then pushed open the shutters. Dust motes danced in the flood of light filtering through the dingy panes. The mess looked worse in the brighter light. She began unpacking the nearest trunk. She had no idea what she was removing, as everything inside was meticulously wrapped in thick paper to prevent damage during shipping.

As instructed, she moved item after bulky item to a shelf in the examination room. She stooped to browse the various drugs and herbs housed behind the glass doors of the nearby cupboard. Along with a metal pill shaper, rows of jars filled with laudanum, burdock, elecampane, jimson weed, and pleurisy root lined the crowded shelf.

From this cache of medicines, Jace would prepare poultices, liniments, and pills for his patients. She considered all the time and energy expended on applying remedies, the results of which were often ineffective. All the needless suffering…

The sound of a wailing child in the distance poured through the open window. Maddie bolted upright, and rushed to the parlor just as the door burst open.

“Doc!” The little boy Mr. Cleary carried kicked his foot beneath the bloody cloth that covered it. “Doc!”

Mrs. Cleary rushed in behind them, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Doctor Merrick!”

Maddie’s heart pounded. “He’s not here,” she said. “He’s gone to see Mrs. Tremont. What’s happened?”

“Our boy here jumped from a hay bale onto a nail in the floorboard. It’s bad.”

“He’s barely four years old. We can’t lose him, too.” Mrs. Cleary wiped at her tears. “Dear Lord, James, what do we do?”

The child yelled louder, his fear feeding on that of his frantic parents. The blood malady that afflicted all of the Cleary children had already proved fatal for the other Cleary sons, and Maddie had never seen the staunch couple so out of sorts. She resolved to do what she could to help, consequences be damned.

“Give him here,” Maddie said.

They stared, horrified, as if she were Satan personified demanding their child.

“Give. Him. Here.” Maddie wrenched the screaming child from his father’s arms. “Go send someone for Doctor Merrick,” she instructed Mr. Cleary. “Mrs. Cleary, you wait here.” She started for the examination room. “What’s his name?”

Mrs. Cleary blinked. “Joseph,” she said. “Joey.”

Maddie rushed the boy to the examination room. She kicked shut the door, leaving a gaping Mrs. Cleary outside. Maddie sat on a chair, wrestling the squirming child on her lap. “Keep still now,” she said more harshly than she’d intended. She’d always lacked patience with children, but she had to keep the boy calm. “Shh. It’s all right, Joey, shh.”

The boy settled against her as she peeked beneath the saturated cloth to assess the situation. Blood spurted from the small hole in his foot with surprising force. It showed no sign of stopping. Joey was in trouble, and he needed help immediately.

Maddie tossed the sopping cloth aside, and it hit the floor with a splat. Her hands shook. There was so much blood, and the child was so small. Excluding herself, Maddie had healed only one other human being. But the stove burn to Rhetta’s palm had been no life-threatening injury. This surely was. She had to try.

Situating the boy firmly on her lap, Maddie used her free hand to clasp Joey’s foot. Blood filled her palm, oozing through her trembling fingers. Over Joey’s whimpers, Maddie hummed to the boy, squeezing his foot softly at first until she could get an adequate grip over the injury. Maddie closed her eyes and squeezed harder. Joey whimpered and squirmed in her lap. Bouncing her knees gently to soothe him, Maddie concentrated on the beat of the rhythm, nothing else. A surge of heat consumed her; hot tears stung her eyes. The heat from Maddie’s hand intensified.

Joey stiffened at the strange sensation, whimpering some more. The heat poured freely now with little effort.

“Shh. Don’t be afraid,” Maddie cooed. “It’s all right.” And somehow she knew that it was.

The sound of frantic voices carried from the outer room. Mrs. Cleary sounded wild.

“She took Joey in there!” Heavy footsteps echoed through the door, growing louder as they neared. The door flew open, and Jace charged inside. Mr. Cleary followed on his heels.

“He’s a bleeder, Doc.”

“Hemophilia?”

“Yes, sir. We’ve lost two boys already. The nail went straight through his shoe. John Baldwin is hitching the wagon so we can take him to Troy.”