The Love He Craves (The Love She Craves: Selling Her Soul to Declan Book 2) (10 page)

Chapter 10

Nyxie forced a smile to her face as she chatted over the breakfast bar with Lotus and Reina. Apparently, Declan would prefer to pay for a hotel room than sleep in a room with her there. Never waking her, he had covered her up and left.

Her phone buzzed and she looked down to see an e-mail alert. She clicked on it and found it was from Declan.

Subs don’t come over uninvited. You may enter my side if you need something when I’m not there, but you will not lie in wait for me again.

I think we need to take a break until I finish my residency. I will contact you if I want to see you between now and then. Make sure you own a cocktail dress. There’s a fundraiser for the Garrison Center coming up. They will expect me to be accompanied by my wife. I will let you know the details as soon as I know.

D

Feeling empty inside, Nyxie stared at the D at the bottom of the page. There was no
Your Loving Husband
, no
Love, Declan.

~*~

Declan found the little hand-drawn card on his pillow when he went to bed. Nyxie had used the girls’ crayons to decorate the card. A smile formed on his lips as he examined her rendering of them the day he took her virginity. The figures held hands and she had her other arm over her breasts while he held his second hand behind his back. His smile faded a bit as he noticed the way she portrayed herself. While all of his attributes were accentuated, all of her flaws were portrayed. Her hipbones stuck out and little lines showed her ribs.

He turned the page to find she had drawn them from behind on the reverse side. Behind his back, he held the flogger and she had purple stripes and pink handprints on her ass. This time their heads were turned to face each other, both smiling. Nyxie had a dialogue bubble saying, “Good times.”

On the next page was another picture of Nyxie in a pose that could only be accomplished by a contortionist or by someone with no bones. She appeared to be hogtied except all of her limbs went straight up. All five of them.

Declan laughed out loud when he realized she had drawn herself with three legs. Her head looked a bit disjointed from the rest of her body and she wore an exaggerated frown. He turned the page. “I miss you so much, I’m all tied up in knots,” she had written.

A piece of paper fell from between the last pages.

Dear…

I don’t even know what to call you now—Declan, Sir.

I know I made you mad when I said you married me to help me get my kids back after you told me not to say it again. When I said it, I just thought about how embarrassed you must be to tell your coworkers you married me—especially so impulsively.

You don’t even have to open your mouth for people to see you are a ten. On a good day, I am a five, so people don’t understand that my appeal is something unseen. Surely, you can see why I’d think you’d be self-conscious admitting you married me.

Of all the punishments you’ve given me, this one is by far the worst. Am I allowed to safe-word you over this punishment? I suppose not.

                            nyxie stryker

P.S. Have you received the marriage certificate yet? I need to get the right name on my license—assuming that’s okay with you.

Declan took the card to the armoire and put it in the drawer next to the sheet stained with her blood, the lingerie and mini veil she wore that night, the belt he used for her first punishment, and their marriage certificate.

God, if he kept saving all this stuff, he’d have to buy a second armoire to house it. He removed the legal proof of their marriage, locked up the armoire and headed for the B-side of his duplex. It wasn’t the first time he had entered when they were asleep. Before, he’d gone in first thing in the morning to drop off Cody's and Nyxie’s birth certificates. That time, he had found her in bed with Lotus and Reina. Nyxie slept on top of the covers fully dressed as if she’d only intended to stay until the girls fell asleep, but had drifted off as well. Reina’s arm was thrown over Nyxie’s and he had gently moved it. “She doesn’t like that,” he had whispered to the sleeping child before leaving.

At moments like this, he really wished he had already had someone come out and put in a couple of doors. Declan let himself in by the front door and put the code into the alarm. He took the stairs two at a time, peeking into the girls’ room to make sure Nyxie wasn’t there, and then quietly made his way to the top floor.

Her bed was empty, a pillow and the comforter missing. Had he walked past her on the living room sofa? He flipped on the light to make sure he hadn’t missed her.

“Sir?” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Declan turned toward the sound. She was sleeping on the floor next to her armoire.

“What are you doing on the floor?”

She threw off the comforter and climbed to her feet, quickly picking up the bedding and placing it on the mattress.

“Sorry,” she mumbled as she smoothed out the spread, her panties peeking out from under her T-shirt as she stretched over the bed.

He wondered if she found the bed uncomfortable or if she was punishing herself. Maybe after sleeping on the floor of the closet most of her life, it felt comforting and helped her sleep at times.

“I asked you a question.”

Nyxie’s mouth tightened for a second. “I don’t want to tell you.”

Declan couldn’t fathom any reason that she wouldn’t want to tell him why she would choose to sleep on the floor over a bed. “You let Reina sleep with you and she wet the bed?”

“No.”

“Then tell me.”

“Please, it’s embarrassing and pathetic.”

“
You
wet the bed?”

“No!”

Her look of annoyance nearly made him laugh. “Then why?”

Her eyes fixed on a spot on the carpet and her lips sealed into a mulish line. He didn’t come over to argue with her. If she wanted to sleep on the fucking floor, why should he care?

“Look, I just came over to bring the marriage license,” he said, holding it out to her. When she didn’t take it, he tossed it on the bed. “Good night.”

He had crossed to the stairs when she blurted out in a rush, “I just wanted to sleep closer to you.”

Declan stopped, turned around slowly and came back into the room. “I’ve missed you too,” he said, returning to her. He put his finger under her lowered face and lifted until her eyes met his. “You will not sleep on the floor anymore,” he ordered, his Dom voice coming out automatically.

A little sigh escaped her lips. “Yes, sir.” A dimple appeared on one of her cheeks as she suppressed a smile. “You will not sleep so far away from me,” she demanded imitating his tone.

Declan’s brow lowered slightly at the tongue-in-cheek order. “Good night, Onyx.”

“You don’t want to spend the night?”

He shook his head. “I have to work in the morning.”

“Please.”

He detected a slight waver in her voice that echoed his own longing to be with her. The ache inside him had only one cure. He could have left the marriage certificate on the breakfast bar and followed through with a text to make sure she found it. Staying away from her was torture. He needed to see her as much as she needed to see him. How could he relent and give in to what they both wanted, when she still needed to understand the difference between being a wife and a sub?

“Yellow.”

Declan felt the tension from his body ebb as the word passed between her lips. That single tiny word meant he could lessen her punishment. He nodded curtly.

A wide impish smile crossed her lips, “Does that mean we’re going to have sex?”

He stepped back on one foot and crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t know…. Have you been touching yourself?”

“No,” she answered quickly before a frown came to her lips. “I, uh, woke up one morning with my hand between my legs, but I didn’t touch myself consciously.”

He lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. “That’s surprisingly common.”

In pre-med when they had been studying sleeping disorders, they had held a lab at a sleep clinic and witnessed it. The students thought it was funny, but to the lab tech, it was old news.

“Undress me, woman.”

“Yes, please,” she said, making him chuckle.

He wore a T-shirt with his scrub bottoms from work and a pair of sneakers.

Nyxie put her hands on his pecs and slowly dragged her feathery touch towards the hem of his shirt.

“Did I say you could touch me?”

“You didn’t say I couldn’t.”

The slight edge to his voice should have warned Nyxie to tread carefully, but she just couldn’t tamp down her happiness that he was with her. An impish smile lit up her face.

“Just take my clothes off without groping me or I may have to tie you up.”

Nyxie dropped her hands and looked him directly in the eye. “That could be fun too,” she said as she reached under the hem of his shirt. His shirt lifted a few inches as she ran her hands along his ripped abs to his chest.

“May I touch you, sir?” she asked shyly. “Please. You’ve worked very hard to have such a wonderful body. It deserves to be worshipped.”

In general, he disliked women showing aggression in the bedroom. It was a man’s job to set the pace and be the
hunter
. But there was something about the attitude Nyxie brought. She was like a kid with a big present in front of her. She wasn’t trying to lead anything; she was just unable to contain her enthusiasm. How could he say no, when she asked so sweetly and it felt so good?

“Since you put it that way….” His eyes closed and a hum of pleasure emanated from his throat. Impatiently, he pulled off his shirt.

“Hey, I was going to do it.”

“You’re taking too long,” he said, his word tinted with a harshness that reflected his mixed emotions. Maybe he should just strip her, throw her on the bed and fuck her fast and hard.

Nyxie sighed as she dropped to one knee and removed his shoes and socks, his athletic equilibrium helping him keep his balance. She didn’t rise to pull the drawstring on his black scrubs. His erection sprung forward as she lowered the rest of his clothing.

Using her shoulder to steady himself, he stepped out of his pants. Nyxie glanced up at him before taking him into her mouth. Instinctively, he knew she would try to deep throat him again. The other time she had taken him that deeply, he had used lidocaine to numb her gag reflex. He was curious to see if she could do it without the spray. He found himself holding his breath with anticipation.

Nyxie took a couple of deep breaths and pressed forward. As soon as he felt the tip of his glans touched the back of her mouth, she withdrew a couple of inches, gagging.

“Try again,” he said gently. “Relax your jaw and your throat and breathe through your nose.”

He saw her tensing before moving forward again. And again, she made a retching sound as she hastily retreated. Her eyes shut momentarily as she tightened her lips around him and she began bobbing her head, taking as much of his huge member as her mouth could accommodate.

Their eyes met. Hers were red and watery. Although he knew the tears were an automatic response to her gag reflex, his body and his mind reacted to the vulnerability he saw. Christ, she was on her knees, his cock filling her mouth and she had tears in her eyes. She was his perfect submissive. Had he ever seen a more beautiful woman? Could he possibly love her more?

“Stand up, baby.”

She leaned back until his dick was free, took his proffered hand and rose to her feet.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to do it. I just couldn’t,” she said, not lifting her eyes higher than his chest.

He raised her chin with one finger, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze. “Look at me, Nyxie.” It took several seconds for her to comply.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated.

He tilted his head slightly. “Most women can’t. I guess you’ll never be a porn star.” He saw her eyes drop again and he had a twinge of regret that he had stayed away for so long. He had been punishing her but he had been going through his own torture to execute her sentence. “Why are you still dressed?”

The way he used his Dom voice, made it sound as if he had ordered her to undress. She quickly stripped off her T-shirt and undies and waited for his lead.

He began circling her, his fingers touching her now and then, her clavicle, her shoulder, her scapula, her ribs, her wrists, hipbones. On his second time around, he stopped behind her, and ran his hand over her small bottom. “You’re still not completely healed. I see a little yellow from the bruises I left.”

“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” she said breathlessly, as his touch sparked her desires.

“I’m sorry I did that to you. I took it too far. We still need to talk about that night.”

“Do we have to do it
now
?” Her tone had a plaintive whine to it that made him chuckle.