The Minotauress (61 page)
Authors: Edward Lee
"Here it is, it's coming up," Arianne exclaimed, pointing at the big television.
The familiar brunette in the same burgundy coatdress stood in front of the mine opening behind Stoddard's Mill, speaking stoically into a microphone: "... can now breathe a collective sigh of relief in the aftermath of the terrible slew of abductions and murders which have cursed the town for the last week. The most recent, and clearly the most horrific, tragedy—the abduction of the Rundstedt Twins—was foiled this morning by DeSmet native Dean Lohan, who braved the mine's deep depths and saved the twins... "
A video clip showed Dean emerging from the mine's portal, holding both of the Rundstedt Twins in his arms.
"You're a movie star!" Ajax shouted.
"He's always been
my
star," Arianne added.
my
star," Arianne added.
"Dean Lohan," the newscaster continued, "moved to Seattle several years ago, and had returned just two days ago to see his father, Jack, the owner of the largest cattle ranch in the state, who was recently injured by whatever wild animal it was plaguing the otherwise quiet town. Nevertheless, it was Dean who bravely ventured into the long-closed and very dangerous gypsum mine and saved the twins when he heard the babies crying from within." Another quick video clip of Dean passing the babies back to their sobbing mother. "Yes, Dean Lohan, the hero of a town, and the hero of a nation. From DeSmet, South Dakota, this is Laura Von Paulus, KSKY News."
Ajax, Arianne, and Shirley applauded, whooping it up. Dean blushed. "What a man!" Ajax exclaimed. "Our
hero!
" Arianne added. Then, Shirley, whose big tits wobbled beneath her blouse: "We should have a party! A celebration! Invite the whole town!"
hero!
" Arianne added. Then, Shirley, whose big tits wobbled beneath her blouse: "We should have a party! A celebration! Invite the whole town!"
It sounded like a great idea to Dean, but... "I can't," he regretted. "I have to go back to Seattle, but I'll be back soon. Ajax, how would you like to quit stuffing envelopes and live here at the mansion, as Shirley's assistant?"
"Sounds good to me," Ajax said, swigging beer. "To tell you the truth, I'm damn sick of that goth commie nipple-pierced pinko save-the-whales rain-hole. And I'd
love
to be Shirley's assistant."
love
to be Shirley's assistant."
Shirley gave Ajax a tight hug and restrained the urge to shove her hand down his pants. "I have all
kinds
of things you can assist me with, honey," she said.
kinds
of things you can assist me with, honey," she said.
"And Arianne," Dean said next, "I'll be sending you to the best rehab center in the state. But I'm off now, folks. I'll be back in a few days, with my loving wife!"
Dean stalked off to the front door; Arianne followed, grabbed his arm before he could leave. "Dean," she pleaded, tears in her eyes. "I can't make it without you."
"There, there," he attempted.
"I
love
you!"
love
you!"
"Arianne, I've already told you, I'm married. I'm in love with someone else now, and I'll be bringing her back to the mansion to live with me. If I weren't married, it'd be you," he lied. "But I
am
married." He consolingly touched her skinny junkie cheek. "So that's the way it has to be."
am
married." He consolingly touched her skinny junkie cheek. "So that's the way it has to be."
Arianne nodded dejectedly. "Sure you don't want to fuck my brains out on the floor one last time, for old time's sake?"
"No, really, Arianne—"
"One last blowjob? I'll swallow."
"No, I—"
"Knock my teeth loose and shit on my head?"
Dean's brow jittered. "We'll always be friends, Arianne. I promise." Then he briefly kissed her on the cheek and walked off for the Blazer.
««—»»
By sundown, Dean was landing at Sea-Tac International airport, and not fifteen minutes later, he was pulling up into his own driveway.
There's no place like home,
he thought with the widest of grins. He grabbed his suitcase and charged into the house, his heart racing to see his loving wife once again.
There's no place like home,
he thought with the widest of grins. He grabbed his suitcase and charged into the house, his heart racing to see his loving wife once again.
"Honey! I'm home!" he shouted with glee in the foyer. He checked the kitchen, the TV room, but Daphne wasn't there.
Upstairs,
he deduced, and ran up. "Honey? Did you see me on TV?" Then he barged into the bedroom, his smile a beacon of love.
Upstairs,
he deduced, and ran up. "Honey? Did you see me on TV?" Then he barged into the bedroom, his smile a beacon of love.
He looked at the bed but it was not Daphne who lay there in wait for him.
"Who the
fuck
are you?" Dean asked.
fuck
are you?" Dean asked.
It was a tall, naked man who lay on the bed, his head shaved, a satanic goatee around his chin, devil tattoos all over his skin. He was smoking marijuana and reading a comic book called
Grub Girl
.
Grub Girl
.
"Who the fuck are
you?
" the man snidely replied.
you?
" the man snidely replied.
Dean dropped his suitcase, aghast. "Well, pardon me, but I just happen to be Dean Lohan and I live here!"
The bald man's face crinkled. "What? Daphne's
married?
"
married?
"
"Damn right she is! To me!"
The man shrugged. "Muff is muff, so don't get your dander up." He toked more of his joint, flipped the next page of the comic. "She never told me she was hitched, so I ain't doing nothin' wrong."
There's a naked tattooed bald guy in my bed!
Dean finally got the full brunt. "Who the FUCK are you!"
Dean finally got the full brunt. "Who the FUCK are you!"
"I'm Thron," the man said.
Dean gawped. "You? You're... Mr. Thron?"
"Yeah."
"You're my wife's boss?"
"Yeah."
"BULLSHIT!"
Dean railed. "Guys with shaved heads and devil tattoos don't own high-end clothing companies!"
Dean railed. "Guys with shaved heads and devil tattoos don't own high-end clothing companies!"
Thron cocked a funky brow. "
Clothing
company? I run a fuckin' outcall whorehouse, pal. And your wife's one my whores."
Clothing
company? I run a fuckin' outcall whorehouse, pal. And your wife's one my whores."
Dean's eyeballs felt as though they'd jettison from his head. "Whuh-whuh-
what?
"
what?
"
"Magic Fingers Escorts," Thron related, not taking his gaze off the comic.
It must've been a
good
comic.
good
comic.
"Look it up in the phone book," Thron suggested. "I'm not ashamed of what I do. Any decent-looking woman with a working pussy is
stupid
if she doesn't sell it. Money's what makes the world go ‘round, and Daphne's slapping on some extra spin, let me tell ya. She's a real trooper, she takes all the kinks—you know, the scat guys, the enemas, the guys who like to wear diapers. Daphne's something. And—as you well know—she's
hot.
She
begs
to fuck me. What am I gonna say? No?"
stupid
if she doesn't sell it. Money's what makes the world go ‘round, and Daphne's slapping on some extra spin, let me tell ya. She's a real trooper, she takes all the kinks—you know, the scat guys, the enemas, the guys who like to wear diapers. Daphne's something. And—as you well know—she's
hot.
She
begs
to fuck me. What am I gonna say? No?"
Dean's eyeballs had not quite yet jettisoned, but they were getting close. It was disconcerting enough to walk into your own bedroom and find a naked, bald, tattooed guy lounging casually in your marriage bed. The cum-stains were disconcerting too. But worse was that Thron penis, however deflated, looked like a fuckin' roll of bratwurst, sheened shiny with what could only be the vaginal fluids of
Dean's wife.
Dean's wife.
Just then the bathroom door clicked open, and out walked an unsuspecting and very naked Daphne. "I'm a fuckin' goat today, darling," she said clearly to Thron. "I gotta have it
again
."
again
."
"Come on," Thron complained. "Four times in an hour? Give a guy a break. Besides, I think your hubby might want to have a word with you, and thanks very much for telling me you were married." Before the words fully registered, Daphne's gaze slowly turned. Then she saw Dean standing there.
"Dean... honey! I—"
Dean just stared. No words were necessary... yet.
"I-I-I—"
Ajax was right. She's been cheating on me at every opportunity—
and then, finally, the
Good
Dean metamorphosed into the
Bad
Dean, something which had not yet fully happened but something that was now totally in order.
and then, finally, the
Good
Dean metamorphosed into the
Bad
Dean, something which had not yet fully happened but something that was now totally in order.
"I've been Mr. Nice Guy too long," Dean uttered. He didn't open his suitcase, he
ripped
it apart, and a second later, he was holding his pair of horn-crankers.
ripped
it apart, and a second later, he was holding his pair of horn-crankers.
In less time than it took to an average person to cough, Dean whipped the horn-crankers down and expertly had Thron's cock in their grips.
"Hey, man!" Thron reasoned. "Your beef isn't with me!" His groin shuddered, inches of limp dick laying over the horn-crankers' jaws. "It ain't my fault your cock-crazy wife came on to me and never told me she was married! Pussy's pussy! When it's in your face, you take it! What natural man wouldn't?"
Dean looked insane as the horn-cranker's jaw closed on Thron's cock. It would be so easy to yank it all out by the root... and it would be
fun.
But even Bad Dean retained some fund of reason. Everything Ajax had said was right, and everything Thron was saying now was just as correct.
fun.
But even Bad Dean retained some fund of reason. Everything Ajax had said was right, and everything Thron was saying now was just as correct.
Dean opened the horn-crankers, pulled them away. Thron's fat cock remained intact. Then Dean faced Daphne.
"Dean! Honey!" she stammered. "I love you! He's lying! He-he-he...
raped
me! I swear!"
raped
me! I swear!"
Dean grinned at her. He began to step forward.
"No, honey! Please! Please don't kill me!" she begged.
Dean kept stepping forward. "Oh, darling, I'd never do anything like that. I'm not going to kill you, I'm just gonna... shove you around a little—" He grabbed her not by the hair but by the
face
, and slammed her hard against the wall. Flecks of sheetrock blew out. Then he punched her in the face, punched her in the stomach, one after another, alternately: the face, the stomach, the face, the stomach, for a good ten minutes. She shit on the floor and urine sprayed freely from her vaginal cleft. A final blow to her cheek shot several teeth out of her mouth. A final blow to her stomach made her vomit.
face
, and slammed her hard against the wall. Flecks of sheetrock blew out. Then he punched her in the face, punched her in the stomach, one after another, alternately: the face, the stomach, the face, the stomach, for a good ten minutes. She shit on the floor and urine sprayed freely from her vaginal cleft. A final blow to her cheek shot several teeth out of her mouth. A final blow to her stomach made her vomit.
Daphne lolled in the corner, her face a cross-eyed bruise. Her pleas of mercy continued but all that surfaced were big bubbles of spit and blood.
"I'd fuck you one last time but... you're not worth the energy it take to pop a load," he said. "Shit, I'd rather fuck a box of frogs."
Her pleading blubbered more blood and drool. Several more teeth fell out onto the floor, like big white pills.
"Take care of yourself, honey," he said and began to walk out. But then he stopped short. "Oh, I forgot something."
Daphne, barely conscious, looked up as if to ask
What?
What?
"This," he said, and forcefully kicked her one last time in the gut. Bile and vomit sprayed the wall. Then he gave her an additional kick square in the vulva, for what he perceived of as good measure. "Happy trails," he bid.
Wreathed in relief, Dean walked out. "Later," he said to the bald man, who remained naked on the bed reading his comic. "She's all yours."
"Thanks," Thron replied. "Have a good one, buddy. And don't feel bad, she was getting crusty if you want to know the truth. Stretched out."
Dean loped happily out of the house, pinching a dip of Skoal and casting an errant spit into the bushes. He got into the car and drove back to the airport. Back to his life, and back to his true love.
Back to his true self.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
H
appily ever after. That's what awaited him when he returned to the Lohan Mansion. His father recovered from his wounds, and counseled Dean in the running of the ranch. Cash poured in, and in very short order, Dean Lohan was the richest redneck in the entirety of the state of South Dakota. He grew his beard back, let his hair fall to his shoulders, and was seldom seen dressed in anything other than faded blue jeans and black METALLICA T-shirts.
appily ever after. That's what awaited him when he returned to the Lohan Mansion. His father recovered from his wounds, and counseled Dean in the running of the ranch. Cash poured in, and in very short order, Dean Lohan was the richest redneck in the entirety of the state of South Dakota. He grew his beard back, let his hair fall to his shoulders, and was seldom seen dressed in anything other than faded blue jeans and black METALLICA T-shirts.
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