Authors: Nika Michelle
“Damn Sen. That nigga ain’t invincible and his crew ain’t either. Shit a few bullets can end all this shit.” I could tell that he was mad as hell that I was letting that nigga Trell have the upper hand.
There was a faraway look in his eyes.
“To answer your question, I didn’t really know anything about Trell. My father never told me that he was his rival. Honestly, I hadn’t heard him say anything about him lately. When I started dealing with Trell it was because I felt like I knew him since we did kind of grow up together. It wasn’t me being naïve. I was being rebellious.” I sighed and continued. “I’d never, ever gone against my father about anything. When he started fucking with that bitch Sybil we went to school with…”
“What? Mendosa was fuckin’ Sybil Lyons? I had no clue about that shit,” Keys said shaking his head.
“Yeah, and I found out about it a few months before I saw Trell. I figured if my pops could fuck a bitch my age, I’d fuck a nigga he didn’t like. Well, he left Sybil alone, but now I’m stuck with Trell. If I had known that he had ambitions to fuck my father over, none of this bullshit would be happening. I just wish my father would’ve been honest with me. I mean, he didn’t really like Trell when we were kids, but I didn’t think it was that damn deep. I didn’t know that the shit was life or death Keys.” Burying my face in my hands, I cried. “Please, don’t tell my father.”
“What do you want me to do then Sen? I’ll do whatever I can to protect you, but damn…You know that your pops is better equipped to handle this shit than you and me. I can get my boy Dame in on it, since he don’t like Trell, but I don’t know if not tellin’ Mendosa is a good decision.”
I pulled away from him, but he pulled me back. My body shook and convulsed with each sob and he rubbed my back softly in an attempt to calm me down. In a few minutes it seemed like it was working. My warm breath tickled his ear as I whispered, “I wish you’d showed up at the club that night instead of him. Things would be so different now.” I sighed. He smelled so damn good.
“Me too shawty, me too. Why don’t you want Mendosa to know the truth?”
“Because, he’s gonna be disappointed in me. Then it’s the possibility of him getting locked up, or killed. I can’t chance it. I have to handle Trell myself. I got me and my father into this shit and I’m gonna get us out of it.”
Then I thought about it. I had to leave. I’d almost forgotten that he was supposed to be coming to my place to check things out. Part of me wanted to tell him the truth then, but I couldn’t take that chance. I had to finesse the situation to my advantage. In the meantime I would just have to pretend that I was going along with Trell’s twisted plot.
“Okay,” Keys said softly and then pulled away from me. “I’m gonna come up wit’ a way to help you and you got my word that I won’t say shit.”
I nodded as I attempted to get myself together. My father had called and left a voicemail asking for my address.
“Thanks Keys, but I have to go. My dad’s coming over to check out my neighborhood.” I rolled my eyes and stood up.
“Okay, I’ll walk you to your car.” Keys stood up too. “I wanna make sure everything’s good just in case.”
I shook my head and thought about it. “Damn, I didn’t drive.”
“How’d you get here?” Keys’ eyes were curious.
“A taxi.” I dialed a number on my cell.
“Nah yo’. I’m takin’ you home.”
“No,” I spoke up quickly. “I don’t know if Trell’s watching me or not. That’s why I didn’t drive. Don’t worry. I’ll call a taxi.”
Keys sighed and sat back down. “Okay.”
After I called the taxi I sat down too and the room was dead silent. The anxiety of my father being in the same place that Trell had assaulted me and not being able to tell him had set in. How in the hell could I keep something like that from him? Damn, it was hard, but I was determined not to cry again. I had to do whatever was necessary to make sure that Trell didn’t succeed in his plan and my father never found out about us. I had to let go of that emotional shit and show that nigga Trell that I was Mendosa’s daughter and I didn’t take no shit either.
* * *
After sending Keys a text letting him know that I’d made it safely and I’d call him later, my phone rang.
“Mother, how are you?” I asked with a cynical edge to my voice.
The two of us had always coexisted, but never really were close. My mother’s past was layered in dysfunction and she’d pushed the same bullshit into my life. When I was a little girl she never hugged me or told me that she loved me. I got all of my affection and validation from my father. In my mind I didn’t think she cared about me one bit.
“I’m well and yourself?” She sounded bitter and resentful although she tried to disguise it.
“Could be better actually.”
She cleared her throat at my sentiment.
“Hmm, well, I was just calling to check up on you and shit. Uh, has anything…happened?” She asked sounding concerned, but I didn’t know if she really was.
“No, as a matter of fact, the crazy shit I’m going through right now has nothing to do with what happened in Miami.” It just slipped out, but I didn’t plan on divulging the details of my problems with Trell to my mother. She held on to whatever information she wanted to hold on to, but she would surely tell my father about that.
“What? What the hell’s going on Jasenia?”
“Nothing. I’m fine. Nobody’s coming after me…if that’s what you want to know. What about you?” Saying too much over the phone was not a good idea.
She was staying in a nice, Spanish style vista in Puerto Rico. We’d both fled from Miami in an attempt to stay alive. The business of prostitution was just as ruthless as drug dealing and I’d learned that shit the hard way. Neither of us wanted my father to know about that either. My mother knew that my father would never approve of what she’d asked of me.
“Things seem to be fine on my end.” She sighed. “How’s your father?”
“He’s ok. He’ll be here in a little while. He has to make sure I’m in a safe area. Security and a gate are not enough.” I let out a sarcastic laugh.
I wished I never gave Trell the gate’s security code. It was ironic that my father was so over protective, but he couldn’t protect me from the shambles my life was in now.
“Well, you know how your father is over you. You’ve always been his world.” She sounded resentful as hell when she said it. “Just make sure you keep your mouth shut about what happened. It’s no telling what he’d do to me.”
For some reason I didn’t feel sorry for her. Not one bit. Yet and still, it was my fault that I’d fallen for her bullshit manipulation. I’d let her convince me that doing her bidding would be worth my while. Well, it wasn’t. Now I was running away from some shit that I could’ve avoided. Maybe being away from her all those years had been the best thing for me. Being exposed to that bitch had ruined my life. I only dealt with her because, after all, she was my mother.
“He won’t find out, if you deal with it like you said you were going to.” I was frustrated because I was on the run for my life because of her greed.
“I’m dealing with it. It’s just not as easy as I thought it would be.”
I was already tired of the conversation. “I’ll call you back mother. Just do what you said so I can go on with my life.”
“Well, I’m sorry if life isn’t all bubble gum dreams and princesses like your father led you to believe. I always tried to show you tough love so you’d know how to deal with shit like this!” She huffed.
“I can’t believe you woman!” I calmed myself down. “If we weren’t on the phone I’d tell you how the fuck I really feel. I’m hanging up now. Just handle it. Okay.”
She hung up without saying anything else. I tried to contain myself and took a few deep breaths. Damn, I really needed a drink, but it was early as hell. Shit, I didn’t care. I poured myself a shot of Patron and then another before rinsing with mouthwash. My dad would go off if he smelled alcohol on my breath so early.
The doorbell rang and I rushed to answer hoping that Trell wasn’t lurking around somewhere.
“Hi daddy,” I said before kissing his cheek.
I’d given him the code to open the gate before he got there and he was pleased to know that I lived in a gated community. Still, knowing that Trell had the code too made me not feel as safe as he thought I was. The fact that Trell wasn’t my only threat made me feel even worse.
“Hey sweetie.” He stepped inside and closed the door behind him.
Without saying anything else to me, he gave himself a quick tour without my help. When he returned to where I was he had a look of approval on his face.
“Good to see that ain’t no nigga’s clothes in your closet.” He chuckled.
I shook my head. “I’m a grown woman daddy. You and mom were living together at my age. Why can’t I have someone?”
“You can. Just not right now. Look at what happened to me and your mom. We rushed into it. Take your time to experience life first.”
His advice sounded good, but to be honest, I’d already experienced enough of life. After the things I’d been through in my short 21 years, I felt that I was ready for just about any damn thing. My mind drifted away to the reality of it all. My life was in danger and there wasn’t just one threat against it. I had made a few enemies and my father, the infamous killer Mendosa, couldn’t even help me.
I had that Kevin Gates on full blast in the whip. A nigga couldn’t help but rap along with him. At that point I was so hyped that I didn’t even care that I had seven pounds in a secret 007 compartment under the dashboard. Shit, seven was my lucky number.
“24 hours, nigga, 7 days a week
me, I don't get tired, I let you other niggas sleep.
Turn up for that check and yeah I get it out the streets.
Hustle like I'm starving going hard, I gotta eat.
I get it out the mud, yeah, yeah.
I get it out the mud, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Watch how I break my wrist.
Make that water whip.
Stretch it out, then flip.
I'm all about my chips!”
That was my shit and it got me so hype that I almost didn’t see twelve on the side of the road. I quickly turned the volume down and slowly eased my foot off the gas. I didn’t hit the brake though. I hated when people did that dumb, scary ass shit. It wasn’t like I was speeding, but if I didn’t see that nigga I would’ve been.
Good, he didn’t follow me. I wanted to wipe the sweat from my forehead that had suddenly accumulated. My nerves were fucked up and I shook my head thinking about how niggas like Dame fucked with that real dope. If I was paranoid as hell with a few pounds of green, I could only imagine what those niggas went through.
Less than ten minutes later my GPS told me that I was at my destination. I pulled up and parallel parked so I could just get the fuck up out when I was ready. After pulling my cell out of my pocket, I pulled up my contacts and hit John Gotti.
“Yeah,” a throaty voice answered.
“Outside my nigga.”
“A’ight, c’mon to the door. My neighbors nosey as hell.”
I grabbed the shit from its hiding spot and put the strap from the bag on my shoulder. I’d been dealing with that nigga for years. He was an older cat who my pops used to serve. The thing was, he acted like he was my age. His name was really John, but he was an OG, so he adopted the Gotti part.
Although I’d done the same thing time and time again, I was always reluctant to get out of my car and go to a nigga’s door. It wasn’t because I feared any man, but clients were more of a threat than the police. The thing was, any kind of exchange of money could go south. Shit was often unpredictable and I could never know what a nigga was planning. Still, I’d been dealing with John long enough to trust him at least 50 percent. It was hard as hell to fully trust anybody when it came to drugs and money.
When I got inside he pounded me up and we made the exchange of weed and cash. I made sure that it was all there before heading back to my car. My phone rang and I noticed that it was Sen. I hadn’t seen her in a couple days, but we’d talked off and on. It felt like my obligation to make sure that she was okay. She’d been doing a good job of keeping Trell at bay, but when I answered the phone she sounded frantic.
“I gotta see you,” she said quickly. Her voice was laced with panic, but she was trying to hide it.
“Where you at?” I asked as I got behind the wheel and started the car up.
“On my way somewhere. I want you to meet me there so I’m gonna text you the address.” Just like that she hung up.
As soon as the call ended my phone rang again. That time it was Dame.
“Sup mane? What’s the word on that?”
“Ah shit man, not right now. I got something I gotta do.” My mind was on Jasenia and what she needed to see me for. I had a feeling that things were really about to go left with her so called man.