Authors: Nika Michelle
“Thanks Mendosa, but I gotta bounce man.”
“No doubt play boy. Tell yo’ pops I said what’s up. Since he got out the game he don’t come around no more.”
I stood, put the duffle bag’s strap on my shoulder and pounded Mendosa up.
“He’s all in love now, living in the country and shit. I’m ‘bout to head out there in a lil’ while, so I’ll tell him.”
“A’ight my nigga. Be easy.”
“A’ight. Later man.”
I left him sitting there sipping on his liquor. As I headed toward the front door I hoped to get the chance to set my eyes on Jasenia again. She wasn’t anywhere around and as I opened the door I smiled at the fact that I had her number. Then my smile faded when I thought about Mendosa. He was going to be a hurdle to get over, but something told me that she was worth the risk.
* * *
“You need to get you a trap, or at least get some niggas to do some corner business for you,” Dame said as he greeted me at the door of the run down trap spot he sold weed and coke from in College Park.
I looked at that nigga like he was crazy. “You already know how I do man. I’m already riskin’ enough just by bein’ here wit’ how you do shit.”
He let out a laugh before his face got serious again. “That was nothin’ my nigga. I had to let off some shots yesterday and shit, but it was necessary. That nigga was out of line, so I had to do what I had to do. It was just a shot in the foot anyway. He’ll live.”
I shook my head at my pecan brown skinned homeboy with the golden brown eyes and shoulder length locks. He was about 5’10 and muscular as hell. He was the wild one and I was more laid back. I guess you could say that we were polar opposites. That nigga liked trouble and looked for it as much as possible. Me on the other hand, I was more careful and low key about how I did shit.
“Y’en have to shoot Ray in his foot man. I’m sure it wasn’t that damn serious. You just get a kick out of fuckin’ wit’ people.”
He’d closed and locked the door behind me so that we could complete our transaction.
“That mufucka was tryna holla at one of my bitches. I’on play that shit. A nigga ain’t fuckin’ wit’ not one of my hoes unless I let him. I didn’t let him, so he got shot in the damn foot,” Dame explained with a matter of fact look on his face.
“Nigga, you be on one for real. Zero to a hundred real damn quick. You know you don’t give a fuck about them broads you be fuckin wit’.”
He passed me the money before I removed the two bricks from the waist of my jeans.
“You right my nigga, but it’s the principle. If I’m dickin’ a hoe down a nigga gotta wait ‘till I’m finished wit’ her. I own each and every pussy I fuck and until I’m done ain’t no other nigga gon’ fuck.”
That nigga was as serious as he could be and I could only shake my head.
“You gotta be kiddin’ me man. You really think that hoe Sasha is only fuckin’ you and she always been a hoe. Shit, I remember when that hoe was tryna fuck me. I couldn’t do it though. Her pussy smelled like decayed meat. I hope you ain’t fuckin’ that raw nigga.” I shook my head with a frown on my face as I remembered that shit.
“That hoe got some good head. That’s all.”
I didn’t say a word. Dame was the type of nigga who’d fuck if the bitch was a freak and that bitch Sasha was a certified freak. He didn’t give a fuck what she smelled like. Being a picky nigga was my thing. If the pussy smelled suspect, I wasn’t trying to go up in it. Shit, condoms broke every damn day and I wasn’t getting caught up with no babies, or no life threatening disease.
“Do you man. I’m dirty as hell, so I gotta head out and put that shit up.”
Dame pounded me up. “A’ight. Thanks for comin’ through man. Shit’s been dry ‘round here, so you might be able to get some new clientele. I’ll hit you up later ‘bout that though.”
“Already,” I said before heading out to my car.
It was almost two o’ clock and I knew that my pops would be at the spot. I just had to make sure before I made that long ride.
“Not much pops. Just got right and need to make a drop off.”
“A’ight. I’ll be here.”
“Cool. Mendosa asked about you. He said he don’t see you now that you out the game and shit.”
“That’s the whole point.” He chuckled. “I’m out, so what I need to see him for.”
I laughed, but my mind was on Jasenia. After I got that shit off me I was going to call and see what she had going on for the night.
“So, what’s the news you got for me baby girl?” My father asked as he sat down beside me on the sofa. There was a twinkle in his eye that was reserved for only me.
I’d made my way back to the sitting room after Keenyn was long gone, but my father wasn’t there. Instead of leaving I decided to wait for him. Besides, I’d told him that I had something to tell him. Ana had said that he was in his study and would be out soon. Well, it was thirty minutes later and I guess he was finally ready to listen to me.
My father was an intimidating man and that wasn’t just because he’d given me life. He had a commanding presence and a voice that was very deep, loud and boisterous. He stood about 6’4 with dark, mahogany toned skin. His dark eyes resembled mine, but his were more brooding and hid behind naturally long lashes. I had nice lashes as well, but of course I liked to get extensions like most women. Not only was he tall, but my father also had a large, broad chest as well as long, muscular legs. At the age of 40 he was in the best shape of his life.
“Well,” I let out a nervous sigh before forcing a smile on my face. “I’m moving back here.”
There was a blank stare on my father’s face and I could’ve sworn I heard crickets chirping. “Daddy, say something.”
He blinked and then shook his head. “What about school?”
“I’m practically done. All I need is one more class that wasn’t offered in the spring and I’m taking that online so I can march in December. C’mon daddy, don’t look like that. I want to spend more time with you. I mean, over the years we haven’t spent that much time together.”
He knew that I was right and I could tell by how his face seemed to soften. “You sure about this? What does Melissa think?”
I shrugged my shoulders indifferently. “I mean, it really doesn’t matter what she thinks. I’m an adult and I thought about it. I’m sure.”
He pulled me into his arms for a tight hug. “What about grad school?”
I rolled my eyes glad that he couldn’t see because I was enveloped in his strong arms. “I’m working on that. Can I graduate first?”
He laughed. “I’m proud of you Sen.”
He told me those words often, but at that moment they made my heart drop.
“Thank you daddy,” I said softly as I ignored that voice in my head that screamed for me to tell him the truth.
Finally, he released me from his tight embrace. “So, are you stayin’ here? Do you have a place already? I know how your mother is. I’m sure she set you up with something without lettin’ me know. Melissa got some shit wit’ her ass.” He shook his head. “Uh, if so I’d like to know what neighborhood my little girl will be livin’ in.” He lit up one of his Cuban cigars and sat back with his drink in hand.
I was surprised that he wasn’t sitting in his favorite dark brown, butter leather recliner. It was apparent that he wanted to sit close to me. We hadn’t really bonded in a while, so it was nice to spend some quality time with him. The only thing was, my father could see right through me. I felt like he was reaching and probing for information. For some reason he could sense something. I had to do a better job of masking the truth from him.
“You know your ex-wife.” I let out a slight chuckle hoping that bringing up my mother would distract him from me. “She got me an apartment in Midtown, so don’t worry. It’s a safe area. I promise.”
His brow lifted in surprise and his eyes bore into my soul. I had to look away.
“So, you’ve already moved in? When?”
I cleared my throat. “The movers dropped everything off before I got here yesterday.”
He didn’t say anything for a while and then said in a fatherly tone, “I’ll be there to check it out tomorrow.”
I knew not to argue. When Mendosa said something it was law.
“Can you just call me before you come?” I asked meekly as I looked down at my perfectly manicured fingers nails.
No matter how old I was, my father made me feel like that. I was his only child, so he spent all of his time and attention on shaping me into the ideal daughter. He wanted me to take a different path than him and my mother. It was too bad that I’d failed him. So many things had gone down that I hadn’t planned for. My mind and heart weren’t always in the right place. That was probably because I’d been spoiled all of my life. At that point, when it came to money, I really didn’t give a fuck what I had to do, or who I had to hurt to get it. Well, I did have a few limits. Because of my pops I was used to a certain lifestyle and I wanted more and more.
See, I was addicted to doing fucked up shit. For some reason I was just drawn to making the wrong decisions. Maybe that was because of what I knew about my parents. They were both goons. Neither of them had ever lived a legal lifestyle, so why did they want to push that shit on me?
Yeah, I was in college majoring in Biochemistry. I wanted to work in a pharmaceutical lab and do research for curing diseases such as Cancer, Sickle Cell, Diabetes and AIDS. However, even with that dream, there were other things that I made a priority first. Now that I looked at it, my decisions had blown up in my face. Shit, I couldn’t tell my dad the whole truth. Even my mother and Nadia didn’t know everything. Nobody knew; well expect for me, God and my demons.
My father shifted in his seat and then took a long, deliberate drag from his cigar. There was a contemplative expression on his face and then he seemed to relax. He didn’t speak until after he exhaled the smoke.
“Well, you’re an adult now, so I guess I can give you that respect.”
I was surprised, but I tried to play it off as I kissed his cheek lovingly.
“Just make sure you don’t have no knuckle head ass nigga over there.” His face was stern and his glare was direct.
I nodded obediently. “I won’t.”
He finally smiled. “Good, so do you need any money or anything? I can put something in your account in the morning.”
My face lit up. “Thanks dad. You know this move wiped me out.”
He chuckled. “All I need for you to do is get your degree, stay out of trouble and not get pregnant. That’s all your daddy can ask for. I don’t want you throwin’ your future away for one of them no good ass niggas out there.”
“Don’t worry about that. I got my head on straight. I promise.” My heart thumped erratically against my rib cage. If he was giving me a lie detector test I’d be failing miserably.
It was a good thing I was a good actress, because my face and body language didn’t give me away.
He nodded and then let out a sigh of relief. “Good, ‘cause I’d hate to kill a nigga.”
That made my heart drop. My father was relentless when it came to his grind and me. His money and his daughter were all that he really gave a shit about. That was why I couldn’t really be myself around him. Out of fear of him being disappointed or somebody getting murdered, I kept a lot of things a secret from him. As I stared into my father’s eyes I realized that no matter how close we were, neither of us
knew the other.
* * *
“Girl, that mufucka’s so damn fine…oh my God,” I filled my best friend Nadia in as I drove back to my new spot.
Yeah, when I talked to my closest friend I didn’t sound college educated at all. Despite the education that I’d obtained and the life that my parents had afforded me, I still had that street edge. That was thanks to my parents because they’d both come from the hood.
Nadia lived in Miami and I missed her like crazy. I didn’t really fuck with any chicks like that in Atlanta. Honestly I didn’t have many female friends in Florida either. I only dealt with women other than Nadia when it came to making some funds and most times that didn’t end well. That alone gave me that fuck bitches attitude. Nadia had been my A one since I first moved to Miami, so I was loyal to her and she was loyal to me.