The Prime Time Closet: A History of Gays and Lesbians on TV (37 page)

Phyllis is of course relieved. The moment is significant because there’s nothing negative said or even implied about Ben’s gayness. It’s handled in a very matter-of-fact fashion, which is unusual considering the dozens of comedy and dramatic television series that would soon be devoting an entire episode to the same subject.

Sixteen years later,
The Golden’s Girls’s
Blanche (Rue McClanahan) has a very different reaction when she learns her baby brother is gay (“Scared Straight”). Whenever her handsome brother Clayton (Monte Markham) is in town, Blanche tries to fix him up with eligible women. Clayton confesses to Rose he’s gay and she encourages him to tell his sister. At first, Blanche doesn’t believe him. “I know you too well,” she tells him. “You’re my brother.” In the end, Blanche says she accepts Clayton for who he is, but proves she still has a long way to go when he returns to Miami the following season (“Sister of the Bride”) with his new beau, a policeman named Doug (Michael Ayr). When Clayton announces he and Doug are going to get married, Blanche is horrified. “Hey, I can accept the fact that he’s gay,” she admits, “but why does he have to slip a ring on this guy’s finger so the whole world would know?” She eventually comes around (again) when an older and wiser Sophia explains that Clayton and Doug want to get married for the same reason Blanche married her late husband George: to make a life commitment to each other, to let everyone know, and to have someone to grow older with.

On
Roc,
Andrew (Carl Gordon) has a similar reaction when his successful brother Russell (Richard Roundtree) comes home for a visit (“Can’t Help Loving That Man”). Within five minutes, Russell reveals he’s gay and getting married this weekend to his boyfriend Chris (Stephen Poletti). And if that isn’t enough for the family to handle — Chris is white! As Roc (Charles Dutton) explains, homosexuality is something you see on television talk shows, but it’s not something you expect to have in your own family. Russell can’t even get past the idea of a black person being gay: “White people I can understand. They are all descended from those sissy European countries. But an educated, proud black man like Russell — gay — why would he choose that?” In the end, Andrew, like Blanche, realizes what’s important is not how he feels, but that his brother is happy. Not that this necessarily means he has come to terms with it.

In a later episode (“Brothers”), Russell returns to tell Andrew he and Chris are moving to Paris. Russell takes his brother out to a gay restaurant so Andrew will understand what it’s like for him to live in a predominantly straight world. The brothers admit they have grown apart since Russell came out and have avoided the issue by not contacting one another. Andrew admits he’s still not totally comfortable with his brother being gay, but in a touching final scene, they agree to stay in closer touch.

Another brother reunion occurs on
Suddenly Susan
when Luis (Nestor Carbonell) is reunited after twelve years with his baby brother Carlos (Bruno Campos), who is no longer the little fat boy he left back in Cuba. Luis is ready to show his brother a good time on the town, until he reveals he’s gay. He’s upset and confesses to Susan (Brooke Shields) he doesn’t know any gay people (in San Francisco?) except
The Gate’s
mail boy Pete (Bill Stevenson). Pete suggests Luis take his brother to a local gay country-western bar (where, in the episode’s funniest moment, the statuesque Shields is mistaken for a drag queen). No matter how hard he tries, Luis is unable to accept his brother’s sexuality. Thankfully, Susan convinces Luis to stop his brother from leaving town and have a heart-to-heart with him.

Adults — fathers, mothers, and siblings — step out of the closet on situation comedies with more frequency than teenagers. Perhaps some feel it’s too serious a subject for comedy and it’s better left for made-for-TV movies and dramatic series like
Beverly Hills 90210
and
Dawson’s Creek.
In the 1990s, a few sitcoms ventured into this territory, beginning with an early episode of
Wings
(“There’s Always Room for Cello”). During his cello lesson, R.J. (Abraham Benrubi), a high school football star, comes out to his teacher, Helen (Crystal Bernard). She’s supportive, but discourages him from telling his conservative father, Roy (David Schramm). Roy is less than enthusiastic about the news and decides to challenge his son to a game of one-on-one basketball to determine if his son is gay. Not that it makes any difference, but Roy loses and reluctantly accepts his son’s sexuality.

As with
Roc
and
Golden Girls, Wings
brought R.J. back for a follow-up episode. Six years later, an adult R.J., now a lawyer, returns to Nantucket as a surprise visit for his father’s birthday party. Although they haven’t seen each other for six years, Roy’s happy to see him, but he’s not interested in hearing about his love life, let alone in meeting his lover Luke (Tim Bagley). Roy makes everyone miserable by refusing to acknowledge Luke, but Helen makes him realize he better reconcile with his son before he loses him for good. So before R.J. and Luke leave the island, he gets on the airport microphone and announces: “My son is gay. There is my gay son and his boyfriend. He’s gay too. And I love him. Well, not the boyfriend. I just met him...”

Not all television parents are as close-minded as Roy. On the pilot episode of
Good News,
David Randolph (Davis Rasey) assumes the role of acting pastor of the Church of Life in Compton, California. One of his first assignments is to counsel a young member of his congregation, Eldridge Dixon (Dwaine Perry), who wants to come out to his tough-as-nails mother, Hattie (Roz Ryan), the church’s volunteer cook. Both Pastor Randolph and Eldridge are expecting Hattie to get hysterical, but her son’s announcement is hardly news. “I’ve known that even before you did. I knew it when you were nine years old,” she tells him.

But that’s not the whole story. He met someone he wants to invite to mass (that’s fine with her) and one more thing — he’s white, which sends Hattie through the roof. “What’s the matter with you boy, there’s not enough black men out there?” she asks. Hattie refuses to acknowledge him, until the Pastor brings her and the boyfriend together during the service.

Another son who fears the worst is Fernando (Gabriel Romero), who lives next door to
Los Beltran
family with his Anglo lover Kevin (James C. Leary). In “The Coming Out of Fernandito,” Fernando’s macho father, a general in the Spanish army, arrives to visit his doctor son. Nervous about coming out to his macho father, Fernando panics and pretends he’s married to his neighbor Letti, who realizes there’s no reason for the charade when the General makes a pass at her husband Manny (“You have the body of a gazelle!” he tells him). The first Spanish-language situation comedy to feature regular gay characters,
Los Beltran
received a GLAAD nomination in the Spring of 2000 for best comedy series, a list which also included
Will & Grace, Sex and the City, Action,
and Oh
Grow Up.

A person with “gaydar” has the ability to tell if a person is gay or straight. Many people claim to have it. Those who do can determine in a matter of seconds which team an individual is playing on by detecting a “certain quality,” which can reveal itself in the person’s attitude, style of dress, manner of speaking, or a gesture. Every gay person doesn’t necessarily have “gaydar” or even a “quality.” In fact, there are plenty of gay men and lesbians who go undetected.

Even before the discovery of gaydar, situation comedies featured plotlines in which a straight character is mistaken for gay. Three 1970s series —
Sanford and Son, WKRP in Cincinnati,
and
C.P.O. Sharkey
— played on the alleged homosexuality of its lead characters. Fred Sanford (Redd Foxx) and his son Lamont (Demond Wilson), Chief Petty Officer Otto Sharkey (Don Rickles), and newscaster Les Nessman (Richard Sanders), are all mistaken for being gay courtesy of another character’s false assumption.

One of the earliest mistaken identity plots is
Sanford and Son’s
“Lamont...Is That You?” (which borrows its title from comedian Redd Foxx’s 1976 gay-themed feature comedy,
Norman...Is That You?
). When Fred’s son Lamont and his friend Rollo (Nathaniel Taylor) are seen going into a gay bar, The Gay Blade, Fred suspects his son is gay. He calls Dr. Caldwell (Davis Roberts), who, after examining and questioning an unsuspecting Lamont, tells him to look for changes in his “speech, behavior, and dress.” (“Don’t tell me he’s going to put on a dress?” Fred asks.) When Lamont starts spending too much time combing his hair and puts on a little too much Brut cologne, Fred becomes worried and decides to check out The Gay Blade for himself. Then Rollo sees Fred and his friend Bubba (Don Bexley) go into the bar and tells Lamont, who now suspects his father is gay. But just as they are about to confront each other, they discover that they each have dates with a member of the opposite sex.
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Like
All in the Family
and
Maude,
the humor is derived from ignorance. The Gay Blade is referred to as a “sissy bar.” The word “gay” is never uttered, but rather indicated with a gesture — an extended hand movement back and forth. Fred also thinks Dr. Caldwell will be able to determine if his son is gay by asking a few questions (“Do you miss your mother?” or “Was your mother the dominant one in your family?”). He’s unable to diagnose Lamont, but the warning signs he tells Fred to look for are based on the social myth that one can spot a homosexual from the way he speaks, behaves, and dresses. In comparison to Archie Bunker and Arthur Harmon, Fred Sanford’s comments are mild. However, the underlying message is the same: people who are “that way” are not normal. And so, not one, but two characters get to breathe a heterosexual sigh of relief when they discover the other is not gay after all.

When
WKRP in Cincinnati’s
news director Les Nessman is mistakenly labeled a homosexual by a ballplayer and gets barred from the locker room, he heads straight for the window ledge (“Les on the Ledge”). His co-workers try to prevent him from jumping by promising to straighten out the matter, but that’s not enough for Les. “There will always be a black mark besides my name,” Les says. Herb (Frank Bonner) tries to talk his best friend off the ledge: “If you’re gay, you’re gay,” Herb tells him. “It doesn’t matter.” But then in the next breath he adds, “If you’re not gay,
then people shouldn’t go around saying you’re gay.”
Of course that’s true. Nobody should be going around saying you’re something you’re not. But the issue here is the implication that being called gay is in itself an insult. Substitute the word “gay” for “Jewish” or “Italian” and the underlying message is clear. And, for Les, being labeled gay is enough to ruin his reputation and end his life. Jennifer (Loni Anderson) proves to be the most enlightened of the WKRP staff members. “So what if he is gay?” she asks Herb. “He comes to work. He does his job. He’s a fine person. His sex life is his own business.”
⁴⁶

A character can be suspected of being a homosexual without even knowing it. In “Sharkey’s Big Secret,
” C.P.O. Sharkey
(Don Rickles) is suspected of being a — (once again, an extended hand movement back and forth). Mignone (Barry Pearl), who seems to know all the terms (“closet queen,” “transvestite”), suggests that it isn’t easy to tell if someone is a homosexual anymore. Seaman Pruitt (Peter Isacksen) laughs the idea off, until he spots a man walking into Sharkey’s office to retrieve his handbag. The man is actually an effeminate toupee salesman named Sylvester (Jack DeLeon), who is visiting Sharkey for a fitting. Pruitt tells Chief Robinson (Harrison Page) he thinks Sharkey is gay. So when Sharkey describes how tonight he’s “going a whole different direction” in terms of his love life (meaning wearing a toupee and dating a younger woman), Robinson assumes Pruitt was telling the truth. Everyone is relieved when they meet Sharkey’s date, Frankie, who turns out to be a hot blonde. Yet, Sharkey later realizes he’s too old to be acting so young and returns to his old girlfriend.
⁴⁷

Once again, a character is guilty by association. The conversation between the men in Sharkey’s platoon reflects how in an era of increased visibility of gay men and lesbians, there was some concern that homosexuals were not necessarily identifiable. Ironically, the idea that homosexuals are undetectable is undermined by Pruitt’s conclusion that Sharkey is gay because he sees the shoulder-bag carrying Sylvester in his office. Once again there’s the obligatory sigh of relief by Robinson, Pruitt, and the platoon when they discover his date is 100 percent female. Interestingly, insult king Rickles, whose character is totally oblivious he’s been labeled gay, makes no anti-gay cracks toward Sylvester. In fact, he’s uncharactersitically gracious and polite to the toupee salesman.

These very same plots from the 1970s built around misunderstandings and miscommunication are still widely used today. Case in point is an amusing episode of Cosby (“Older and Out”) in which Hilton (Bill Cosby) and Griffin (Doug E. Doug) are mistaken for a gay couple. Chuck (Joseph Bologna), an ex-cop who’s the member of the “Older and Out” softball team, overhears a conversation between Hilton and Griffin which sounds like an argument between a bickering couple. Chuck invites Hilton to join the team and he accepts because he has no idea “out” means as in “out of the closet.” The plot becomes more complicated when Hilton tries to fix Chuck up with his friend Pauline (Madeline Kahn). But when Hilton asks him if he’s available, Chuck thinks he’s inquiring for himself.

Meanwhile, Ruth (Phylicia Rashad) finds out Chuck is gay. She and Hilton then have one of those conversations people only have on television. When Hilton claims he’s had “similar feelings” as Chuck, he is referring to Chuck’s conservative politics, but she thinks he’s talking about homosexuality. Hilton finally realizes what’s going on when he and Griffin, dressed in western garb, attend Chuck’s country-western party, where they see “cowboys” dancing with each other. Chuck is disappointed to find out Hilton is straight, but he invites him to continue playing on their team. “What our second baseman does in the privacy of his own home is his business,” Chuck tells him. Although the situations are not terribly original, in a time when the majority of gay male characters on sitcoms are forty and under, it’s refreshing to see older, active gay men looking for love and having a little fun.
⁴⁹

A misunderstanding can also be created if someone purposely plants the notion in someone else’s mind. In “The Homecoming Queen,”
Dream On’s
Martin Tupper learns the girl he lusted after in high school, Jeannie (Kim Cattrall), thought he was gay because his best friend Eddie (Jess Josephson) told her. Martin sets her straight, but she still has doubts when his “horse jumps the gate” during sex.
⁵⁰
On the very short-lived
Holding the Baby
(“The Gay Divorcee”), Kelly (Jennifer Westfeldt) finds out the woman who single-dad Gordon (Jon Patrick Walker) has his eye on isn’t interested in starting a family. So Kelly tells Roxanne (Katy Selverstone) Gordon is gay. The misunderstanding creates a hilarious situation in which Gordon tells Roxanne all about his son, Dan, yet all the while she thinks he is talking about his gay male lover. When Gordon invites her home to meet his son, she thinks she’s getting an invitation to a
ménage-à-trois.
Fortunately, the misunderstanding is cleared up, but not before Roxanne tries to get things warmed up with Gordon’s brother, Jimmy (Eddie McClintock), who she mistakes for Dan.
⁵¹

A similar situation is even more awkward for Matt Peyser (Fred Savage). In an episode of
Working
(“Rumoring”), Matt’s co-workers play a little joke on their supervisor, Tim Deale (Maurice Goldin), by telling him Matt is gay. To make a good impression on his boss, Tim, a racist, sexist, ass-kisser, volunteers an unsuspecting Matt to go on a date with his boss’s gay son, Crispen (Ric Coy), who just moved to town. Matt finally figures out what’s going on as he’s sitting with his male “date” in a gay bar. He gets revenge on his boss by telling him he pushed Crispen out of a moving car. To make up for his
faux pas,
Tim is forced to take Crispen on a date. Even in the world of sitcoms, this ending doesn’t make sense. Of course it’s great to see such a gay-positive father who dreams of walking his son down the aisle one day. But why would Crispen’s father make his son go out with such a despicable loser like Tim? Who’s punishing whom there?
⁵²

When someone’s gaydar malfunctions, it can mistakenly pick up a signal from a character who has a “quality,” but isn’t gay. On
Friends
(“The One Where Nana Dies Twice”), Chandler’s co-worker Shelly (Nancy Cassaro) mistakenly offers to fix him up with another guy in the office, Lowell (Stuart Fratkin). When Chandler (Matthew Perry) asks his friends if anyone ever thought he was gay, Ross and Joey (Matt LeBlanc) claim it never occurred to them. (Joey apparently has a bad memory because in “The One With the Flashback,” we see Joey meeting his future roommate for the first time and telling him he’s “totally O.K. with the gay thing.”) Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) explains to Chandler that people think he’s gay because he’s smart and funny, while Monica (Courtney Cox Arquette) tells him he has a “quality.” Chandler starts to feel exceedingly self-conscious about his behavior, yet in the end he’s relieved when Lowell, “speaking for his people,” assures him that he doesn’t have a “quality.”
⁵³

Throughout the series, there have also been questions raised about Chandler’s sexual orientation in regards to his relationship with his roommate, Joey. In one episode (“The One With the Baby on the Bus”), the duo are mistaken for a gay couple when they use Ross’s baby son Ben to try to pick up women.
⁵⁴
When Joey decides to finally move out in the middle of the second season (in an episode aptly titled “The One Where Joey Moves Out”), Chandler is heartbroken. “It’s not like we agreed to live together forever,” Joey explains. “We’re not Bert and Ernie.”

At the end of the episode, Chandler and Joey are each alone, looking out their respective apartment windows watching the rain as we hear Eric Carmen’s “All By Myself.” The moment is just another tease — another suggestion by the writers that maybe Joey and Chandler should be more than just friends. The sappy tune turns the otherwise sentimental moment into a joke, thereby assuring us there
really
is nothing going on between the couple. Fortunately, for Chandler and Joey (and us), the separation lasted only a few episodes. Yet even after Chandler marries Monica, questions are raised about his sexuality. In “The One With the Tea Leaves,” we learn Chandler owns not one, but two copies of the Broadway musical cast album of
Annie.
And he knows all the words.