The Raven Series 2 (3 page)

And that was kind of more important to me. “What am I doing? I choked back there. In front of everyone.”

“You did.”

I swatted him on the arm. “So not helping.”

“No one said it was going to be easy, princess, but nothing worth gaining ever is. It might not feel like it now, but finding out what you are might change your life for the better. I know you see it has a hindrance, and maybe you’re still bitter about the secrets your family kept. Maybe you’re trying to protect yourself from getting hurt. Maybe you’ll be a better banshee than Rose. You won’t know until you open yourself up and give it a shot.”

I couldn’t help but wonder if he was talking about more than just being a banshee. Regardless, I had a lot to think about and hard decisions to make. They couldn’t be put off for much longer. Things were only going to get worse.

The car rolled to a stop in front of Raven Manor. I fumbled with the end of my skirt, not ready to leave. Each time we separated, I didn’t know when I would see him again,
if
I would see him again. I wanted to lie to myself and say I wouldn’t be devastated, but in all reality, it would shatter something inside of me. We were both deluding ourselves. Things couldn’t continue as they had been going. There was going to be a point where I either accosted him with my mouth or he broke my heart. I didn’t see any other option.

“You should be safe here,” he said, eyes focused straight ahead and jaw locked.

It was impossible to ignore the tension in the air, but he was right about Raven Manor being safe. The perimeter was guarded around the clock by a defense system I definitely didn’t understand. I reached for the door handle, glancing over my shoulder for a last glimpse at Zane.

Chapter 3

The manor was veiled by gloom, so I headed to the back of the house, seeking comfort. I had an agenda. Food and bed. Preferable in that order. I found Gracie, the head housekeeper. She was exactly the distraction I needed, because inside I was still reeling from the unsettling events, my stomach in knots. My brain couldn’t handle anything strenuous.

These last few days had been difficult and surreal. Sometime during the haze of misery and disbelief, the realization I would be staying here longer than just the summer hit. So I began to notice the people who worked for Rose. What their names were, how long they’d been employed, and what they did around the house. It became apparent that the manor was more work than met the eye.

I wasn’t sure I was ready for the responsibility.

I wasn’t sure I was ready to be a banshee.

I was most definitely sure I wasn’t ready to be anyone’s wife.

When I first arrived here, I wanted nothing to do with anybody, and I regretted that now. Life was short and there was no time to leave important things undone.

Gracie had been a godsend, taking care of us and making sure we didn’t starve to death. I learned she had two grown daughters and five grandchildren she spoiled rotten. She was also one of the few people on the island that was human, and I had taken an instant liking to her. This house needed a bit of normalcy, and that was exactly what she brought.

“How was it?” Gracie asked. She stood over the sink scrubbing overbaked lasagna from a pan. The kitchen was covered with half-eaten casseroles. Gracie cooked when she was feeling out of sorts, and had been shoving food down my throat since the passing of Rose. Death never made me hungry. So much food had gone to waste, but of course now I could eat a five-course meal.

I planted my butt into one of the country-style stools, resting my arms on the counter. “Depressing. Eventful. A hot mess.”

She was a round woman with friendly eyes and a motherly smile. “Rose wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.”

Gracie had a point. I angled my head, the soft kitchen lights highlighting my face. “It was an utter disaster.”
Like my life.

“You’re hurt,” she gasped, moving fast for someone of her size. Her fingers grasped my chin to get a better look at my battle wound. She clucked her tongue. “I’ll get something to clean it.”

Since she’d mentioned it, my left cheek was throbbing. I lifted my hand and winced when it came in contact with a gnarly gash. “It’s nothing. Just a scratch.”

“Mhh-hmm,” she said, pressing her lips together. “I’ve heard that a time or two.”

Obviously, working for someone like Rose for more than a decade, a person might get used to the unusual and out of the ordinary. Ultimately, secrets no longer stayed hidden. She was the only person, other than TJ, who didn’t pressure me or make me feel like I was a joke. I was still uncertain how much the staff knew, but Gracie knew more than I did.

“It will heal,” I said.

She smoothed back my hair with her hand. “You know what will speed up the process?”

I lifted my brows. If she even thought about kissing my boo-boo, I was going to my room without supper.

“A bowl of hearty soup.”

My shoulders relaxed. Life was complicated and sticky, but a simple bowl of soup sounded heavenly. “You read my mind.”

As Gracie reheated a robust potion of ham and bean soup, I went to the fridge and grabbed a Coke. “Did TJ already eat?”

“Eat? That boy consumes everything in sight.” She set the bowl in front of me as I took my seat again. I smiled a little, dipping my spoon in and blowing on it. Pressing her elbows on the counter, she asked, “You want to talk about it?”

I shrugged. “Where to begin? The whole thing was a debacle. Statues blew up. I freaked out. And I don’t even know if her casket made it into the ground.” Let alone if the secret of her death was spreading like wildfire.

Gracie listened to my ranting without batting an eye, and even though it didn’t make a whole lot of sense, she managed to understand my babble. “
They
came for you?”

They
being the hallows. “It feels like that’s all they’ve being doing since I arrived here. Attacking me.”

Her eyes sobered, crow’s feet crinkling at the corners. “Things are changing, chica.
I
can feel it. There is strife among the harbingers of death, and an alliance between the restless souls. The island is under siege.”

I frowned. “You feel it too?” It wasn’t just the land, but the people as well. What I thought had been mourning maybe was something more. Fear? Edginess? I’d come to understand Raven Hallow wasn’t just an ordinary place. Like the unconventional woman who cared for the island, this land, the surrounding waters, and the people who lived here, were all unique, nothing like where I’d grown up.

Her hip rested against the cabinet. “What I feel isn’t important. What do
you
feel?”

A cold chill pierced between my breasts, and it took me almost a minute to recognize what it was. “Death.”

She nodded. “Your abilities are expanding. Your mind is opening.”

I swallowed, twirling my spoon in circles around the bowl. “What am I to do about it?”

“That’s for you to decide and part of your journey.”

Cryptic much? I wasn’t up for a journey or a lesson in the hardships of life. I just wanted a peaceful, quiet life with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids.

Finishing my soup, I mulled over options, unable to think of anything else. Harbinger of death? Was that something I could be or be a part of? Did I have it in me? Tonight I had totally flaked out, embarrassingly so, and I wasn’t proud of it. I couldn’t freeze up again.

Banshee
. Couldn’t see putting that on my college résumé
.
Not that college was in my future now. I was seriously contemplating giving up everything. My home. My friends. My family.

TJ chose that moment to burst into the kitchen. “What the hell was that?”

I dropped my head onto the table. “I don’t know, TJ. I’m extremely tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow?”

“Are you shitting me? Things blew up.” There was the teeniest bit of cool factor in his voice.

My head snapped up. “Watch your mouth. I’m in no mood for your crap. We just buried our grandmother. Give it a rest.” Now might have been a good time to tell him he was leaving Raven Hallow, but I didn’t have it in me to battle with him.

Frustration lined his face. “I would if you would be honest with me.”

When I didn’t respond, he spun around, slamming both palms on the door. I let my forehead hit the counter again.

“FML,” I muttered against the cool granite.

***

In my room, I poked around, avoiding the bed and impending twilight. There was this strange throbbing in my chest, and my eyes burned as if I wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. Today was supposed to be about Rose and honoring her life. Instead, it had become a train wreck. I’d meet my acceptable supernatural daily limit. It had been maxed out.

Lifting my hand in the air, I watched as it trembled slightly. I wasn’t sure how much more my nerves could take. So far life as the White Raven sucked ass.

I needed to quiet my mind. Grabbing a pad of paper, I sat on the window bench and did a quick sketch of a girl wading in the sea, the salty breeze blowing her lilac hair, but my heart wasn’t really in it. Putting the pencils and notebook aside, I walked to the bed and flopped on my back. I stared at the ceiling, running a hand through my hair.

It was fruitless trying not to think about all the crap plaguing my mind. Regardless of how conflicted I was feeling, one thing was clear. TJ couldn’t stay here. It was too dangerous. Putting my feelings and wants aside, I knew it was what was best for him no matter how much it upset me. Sending him away would crush me. He might be a pain in the butt, but he was my pain-in-the-butt little brother. I’d spent most of my life looking out for him and the last year taking care of him. Whether either of us admitted it, we depended on each other.

Telling him to leave was another story.

No doubt TJ had his suspicions about what was happening. Zombie apocalypse. Aliens. Heck, I didn’t even know if he could see the hallows, but I wasn’t ready to divulge all our family secrets. The less he knew the better. I had to believe, in his case, ignorance was bliss. The worst of it was I was going to have to get in contact with our father. He probably didn’t even know his mother-in-law was gone.

I often wondered if he knew Mom had been a banshee. Had she also lied to him? My gut told me he knew. That he knew it all, which was why he was across the globe, far away from me. What kind of parent left their children to deal with a supernatural world on their own? Coward.

When I saw my father again, I planned on giving him an earful that would make the Pope blush. I was having a crisis here.

When I wasn’t worrying about TJ or stressing about being inhuman, I was thinking about Zane. It was stupid to try to pretend I didn’t like him—I really, really liked him.

And that was the problem.

I didn’t know if I should be fighting these feelings or embracing them. He invaded my mind no matter how hard I tried to suppress him. And I tried…until my eyeballs felt like there were going to pop, but he wasn’t the type of guy who was easy to forget.

Except, I shouldn’t be thinking about Zane at all. There were a million other things I could be contemplating, yet none of them made my stomach flip, my pulse race, or my soul sing.

Rolling over, I shoved my face into the pillow and screamed. At the edge of the bed was his hoodie. I had tossed it there earlier when I’d been searching for something to wear. His scent was there, clinging to the material and teasing my senses.

I groaned. There was no escaping him.

How had my life gotten so tangled up? I was living a bizarre, bad afternoon soap opera.

With nothing else to do and because I couldn’t tell my mind to shut up, I started mentally listing all the pros and cons about my complicated relationship with Zane in my head. And there were many. Pros: He looked incredible in jeans. He made my heart patter. And he’d taken a vow to protect me. Cons: I was promised to his brother by a supernatural treaty. Sometimes he needed an attitude adjustment, but what guy didn’t?

Hmm. And that got me thinking. Was there no way out of this arranged marriage? I mean, I was the White Raven. Could I break the contract? I didn’t claim to be a supernatural guru, but it seemed to me there had to be a loophole. I just needed to find it. But where to start? With Death? The thought of telling Roarke I didn’t want to marry his son gave me chills. I wasn’t backing down from my duty as the White Raven, but by God I should. Everyone knew I was going to be the worst banshee in history. However, if I was going to fully commit to this insane job, which I still couldn’t believe I was doing, I felt I at least deserved something in return.

Was a chance at love and happiness too much to ask for? A chance to figure it out on my own, without it being forced upon me? I couldn’t help but feel that Zander, Zane, and I were all just pawns.

The more I dwelled on the contract promising me to Zander, the smaller my room became as the walls in this castle-size house closed in on me. Every minute that ticked by, I felt
my
world slipping farther and farther away and the pressure of stepping into Rose’s shoes clamping down on my chest until I was gasping for air.

No matter how much the security at the manor was beefed up, I never felt safe, unless I was with Zane. I didn’t know whom I could trust, but Zane had proven to be immeasurably significant to my safety countless times. There were still so many questions unanswered.

What did the hallows want from me, other than to annihilate me? Why couldn’t I have Zane instead of Zander? What was the big deal? Who had killed Rose?

That particular question spun and spun in my head, and I knew I wasn’t the only one who was certain it had been someone close. Someone she’d trusted even. Someone in Raven Manor. Thinking about the possibility left a bitter taste in my mouth.