The Romance of Nick and Layla (Parts 1-3) (35 page)
"I have nothing else to say to you."
"Stop packing."
"Why? Just give me the papers and I’ll sign them. Then you’ll never hear from me again."
"That won’t be necessary."
"Those are the annulment papers in your hand, aren‘t they? What’s not necessary? I’m giving you exactly what you want."
"These aren’t annulment papers."
"Oh, let me guess.. Your lawyer will give them to my lawyer?"
"No."
"Well you can have them delivered wrapped up in a box for all I care."
"It’s a prenuptial agreement."
"What?" He stopped packing and finally looked up at me.
"It’s a prenuptial agreement. You can read it yourself but it basically says that everything we come into the marriage with is our own and everything we earn throughout our marriage remains ours individually. I’m not entitled to anything that belongs to you, including your assets and property. And you aren’t entitled to mine. Anything we purchase together belongs to each of us fifty-fifty."
"I don’t understand."
"Then your lawyer can explain it to you."
"No, that’s not what I meant. I thought you were having our marriage annulled?"
"Well, I’m not."
"Why?" His voice was broken with emotion and his face looked strained.
"Does it matter?"
"Yes."
"Well then let me put it in your own words: I’m giving you what you want. Besides," I had to look away from him. I didn’t want him to see me cry. "Besides I don’t want to lose you."
"Layla..."
"David wants to release a statement to the press as soon as possible. Although we don’t technically have to."
"Layla..."
"What?"
"I.... I don’t know what to say."
I turned and looked at him. "You have everything you want now. What more could you say?"
He didn’t say anything.
"The movers will be here in the morning. I’m going to bed." Without saying anything else I grabbed a pillow from the bed and left the room.
I slept on the couch that night.
Epilogue
It seemed to be my lot in life to be Nick Hudson's wife, the first time willingly but in secret, and the second time accidentally and very publicly. What had become painfully and embarrassingly clear to me was that I was not the changed woman I thought myself to be. For as much as I waxed philosophical about how becoming a mother had changed me I was still the same stupid, silly Layla that fell back into the same stupid, silly patterns. I wasn't changed. Nor was I setting a good example for my son.
It was time to grow up.
For all we talked about giving Tyler a "normal" life we were the least normal people possible; we were too fucked up. But our son was a constant that would not change so we have to be the ones that do. If we want to give him any bit of the life we so desire for him then we have to stop being so damn selfish, so petty and manipulative, and start being the version of ourselves we set out to be.
Nick and I have been through more ups and downs than most couples, and at every sign of impending trouble one of us would react the wrong way and make matters worse. That isn't how any relationship should work and was a sign that Nick and I were never responsible enough to get married in the first place.
But we are married. Again. Married, divorced, and married a second time to the same man in just five years and I was only 25 years old.
I just have to face the fact that Nick and I are never going to be the version of normal that we put up on a pedestal, and to even try to achieve such an insurmountable goal is crazy. We needed to get real.
I know the path before us won't be easy and there will be times when we want to quit again. Tyler should matter more to us than that, and truth be told we should matter to each other more than that.
So, though it wasn't ideal and changes everything yet again, Nick and I are married and this time we'll need to fight to make it work. No more walking away.
Maybe this time love will be enough.
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Preview for
Damaged
, The Romance of Nick and Layla (Part Four)
As a young girl I looked at my parents as the standard of quality life. They were the shining example of what a healthy relationship - a healthy marriage - should be, should look like. They were on the happier side of the divorce demographic, the 50% that didn’t end in dissolution of a partnership, of a life. They were in love. They lived, laughed, and loved, and even sometimes fought. What couple doesn’t fight? I knew from an early age they would be my guiding light of how to navigate the sometimes-complicated waters of being in a relationship.
They never did the things Nick and I have done. They did things the
right
way. Or at least, the way I learned as right. I looked at them and knew that they represented what my marriage should look like, should function as.
And yet, marriage seems to be the worst thing to happen to me. Though there are days I would argue that that wasn’t true at all, and that the worst thing to happen to me is Nick Hudson. Not that picking one definitive answer would change the outcome. Nothing can change that now. Nothing dead can be brought back to life, literally or otherwise.
Not the death of my marriage.
Not the death of my love.
Not the death of my child.
The very worst moments of my life, the most pain I have ever suffered, and the darkest days I have ever known, all have one thing in common.
Nick
.
When I see his name appear like a long forgotten ghost on the incoming call screen of my phone my stomach turns inwards, roiling on itself in a mutilated wave of nausea and contempt. It’s been years. I’d finally put myself back into something resembling an actual life and there his name is, drawing me back into the dark place I fought and clawed my way out of in the years following the aftermath.
I make no move to acknowledge the call, but stare at it anyway, allowing myself to feel every awful sensation that twists inside me until the phone stops ringing and the screen goes dark again. I breathe in and breathe out, and the dark place begins to fade. My stomach calms and my heart steadies. The ghost is gone.
And just when I think I’ve survived the onslaught of my painful past, the phone lights up again.
Nick Hudson Calling
.
Also by Crystal Cierlak
Zoe Thanatos
What if you decided to end your life, only to find out it wasn't yours to begin with?
What if there is a life you were meant to live... in another world?
On her 25th birthday Zoe Thanatos is ready to end her short and unhappy life by jumping off a cliff into the Pacific. But her plans irrevocably change when a stranger intervenes, preventing her death while seemingly cheating his own. She demands answers but unearths a whole new world of questions when her savior confesses his true identity - that he isn't from her world - and leads her down a path of discovery that reveals truths about the life she was meant to live and those responsible for taking it from her.
Available on Amazon.com in e-book and paperback.
About Crystal Cierlak
Crystal Cierlak (1983-present) was born and raised along the central coast of California. She graduated with a Bachelor’s of Art in Art in May of 2009, and completed her Master’s of Art in Media Psychology in September of 2013. When not writing she freelances as a social media manager and designer, and takes pride in designing her own book covers.
In May of 2014 she will marry the love of her life.
For more information, please visit
www.crystalcierlak.com
www.Facebook.com/CrystalCierlak
Twitter @CrystalCierlak
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