The Stolen Heart (20 page)

 

 

He threw himself on the rumpled bed, but could smell her on his
pillow. The torrid scent of sex pervaded the sheets.

 

 

He hugged the pillow to his chest, and tried to analyze why he was
feeling so adamant that he should put her down in the next port.
What
was he afraid of?

 

 

"He had forgotten his duty, but even more he had forgotten himself.
He had lost himself and any self-control as soon as she had kissed
him. He had done things to her he had never, ever even thought to
with another woman… Not even the willing wicked widow, he thought in
horror.

 

 

But then she had not complained to him-in fact she had begged for
more and more. She had given him more too. It was incredible. He had
never known it could be like this.

 

 

But then Dare had said the same thing when he had explained what it
was like to be married to someone that he loved. There were no
boundaries, no sense of giving and taking, just sharing. It was
nothing short of miraculous, he had said. Perhaps the miracle had
happened to him too?

 

 

He hugged the pillow again, and then put it back behind his head.
But he had a job to do, and the whaler was not the kind of place
that he had ever imagined bringing his wife.

 

 

Hell, he had never imagined even being
married
. Now all of
a sudden he had the most alluring female on his ship, and he had
just taken her virginity in a fit of mindless lust.

 

 

Well, not completely mindless. He had known what he was doing.
So
had she
, he thought, recalling her enthusiastic
participation, and intent exploration of his body.

 

 

But even as he remembered the joys they had shared the night before,
he recalled many of the other things they had shared on the journey
as well: the stories, the jokes, the everyday chores on the ship,
the triumph of spotting, hunting, and bringing in the whales, the
chess games, the meals, navigation lessons….

 

 

He recalled what Cook had said. They had been friends. And they had
also shared all the things a husband and wife would on shore, and
more.

 

 

But he had his duty to the ship, the crew.

 

 

Yet Al was part of that crew, had done more than her fair share. If
he had not cut off her shirt, he would never have been any the
wiser. He had considered her warmly as a real friend, before his
little friend had reared his head in lust.

 

 

He sighed and shook his head. It was too confusing, and was not
going to be resolved at this moment, he decided as he gathered up
any half-way decent garments he could find and crammed his limbs
into them.

 

 

He had his duties, and the men would be assembling soon for the
Mate’s auction. And while the weather might be good, he was still
well aware of the dangers of rounding the Horn. They would have to
keep sailing west until they could turn north, or run the risk of
being blown onto the inhospitable coast of Chile.

 

 

He had too much to do to resolve his differences with Almira now.
But all the same, he couldn't wait to see her again…

 

 

 

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

 

 

Jared got through the auction of Mate's personal effects for the
sake of his family with a minimum amount of fuss and a complete lack
of sentiment on the parts of most of the men. There had been far
more sorrow when Tom had died, he noted.

 

 

Once he was finished, the men went on watch or below to sleep, and
then he went to the helm and took a turn at the wheel, hoping that
he would run into Al at some point. He knew she could not be aloft,
for they would not post sentries for whales until they were safely
past the Horn.

 

 

But though he remained at the wheel for an hour, he never once saw
her, and had to guess since she had not been at the auction, that
she had probably been in the galley, and then slipped back down to
the cabin when he was occupied.

 

 

At the thought of her being alone with Cook, he felt a burning in
the pit of his stomach. He knew she had been an innocent. But the
prospect of anyone else being so close to her filled him with ire.

 

 

Cook knew she was a girl--what if he tried to take advantage of her
in some way now that she was well?

 

 

He was furious with himself for thinking so little of either of
them, but jealousy was a new sentiment he had never experienced
before, and he was having hard time dealing with it.

 

 

Jared thought he was concentrating on the navigation, but most of
the time he was replaying in his mind the events of the previous
night, and this morning in the broad daylight which had poured into
the cabin.

 

 

He had to catch his breath as he remembered the way she had taken
the lead, brought them both to peak after peak of delight. She was
far more arousing than any practiced courtesan could have been, and
he could not help looking forward to eagerly seeing her again.

 

 

But he had said he would put her off in the nearest port-she was
Jed’s daughter, and he had deflowered her, plain and simple. He was
supposed to have protected her. What on earth had he been thinking?

 

 

Now that he had become her lover, he had to marry her of course. But
to keep her on the ship would be the height of folly. She could go
back to her sisters; he would find a clipper ship heading back
around the Horn and he would safely marry her and then see her again
when he returned to the States.
But when would that be?
Some captains took three to five years to get a full cargo and
return home. How could he leave her for so long, with the news
erratic at best?

 

 

And if she was sufficiently furious with him, she might never
consent to the marriage. Even if she did, she might not wait for
him. That thought caused him to call George over to take a trick at
the wheel.

 

 

He headed down the aft companionway, determined to have things out
with Al once and for all.

 

 

When he got below, he found her scrubbing his private cabin from top
to bottom. Clean sheets, towels, and clothes were all neatly
organized. There was another pile comprised of laundry, and one more
of mending in the main cabin.

 

 

Every surface of both cabins had been scrubbed or polished until it
shone. It was then he saw that her shelf and locker were empty. His
heart gave a small lurch.

 

 

“What are you doing?”

 

 

“Cleaning up the cabin, sir. I shall have all of my things out of
your way in a minute. The steward is moving into steerage, so I
shall be bunking in with Cook from now on.”

 

 

“No you bloody well won’t!”

 

 

He cleared the cabin in a single stride and grabbed her by the
shoulders. His mouth crashed down upon hers, effectively silencing
any rationale for the move she might have tried to provide.

 

 

When he lifted his lips, he said, “You're mine, do you hear? I will
not have you sharing a cabin or anything else with any other man
aboard this ship. Is that clear?”

 

 

She shook her head. “It was a mistake last night, you said so
yourself. You feel obligated to protect me because you say you
ruined me. But there's no reason to be lumbered with a woman you
neither care about or esteem just because you had a, what was it a
man said to me once, had an itch that needed to be scratched.”

 

 

He saw red then, and accused, “And what about
your
itch, my
dear? Decided Cook could do it better? I haven’t even got started.”

 

 

He reached downwards, but she planted her hands on his chest shoved
him so hard he nearly landed on his backside.

 

 

“That has easily got to be the lowest thing you could have said to
me,” she panted. “It just proves you don’t care. Never mind
starting
,
Jared. We're
finished
. Do you hear me?”

 

 

She gathered up the laundry while he tried to get up from his
crouching position on the floor where he had tumbled.

 

 

“I’m sorry, Al. I don’t know what I’m saying! Please, don’t go.
Don’t storm off angrily the way you did before. We need to be calm
about this.”

 

 

“I’m perfectly calm. You’ve told me what you think of me. You don’t
trust me, you certainly don’t care for me. No man who did would
treat me thus. So I shall get out of your way, and avoid you until
you put me down in port.”

 

 

“I haven’t decided that for sure!” he admitted. “I can see some
reasons as to why it might be a good idea to keep you on board.”

 

 

“Because you're so
itchy
?” she said scathingly. “I don’t
think so. I thought last night was
special
, that we were
friends, that you cared about me, even just a little. I can see now
that I was wrong. More fool me. But I’m here to find my father and
help my brother. If you won’t assist me, are determined to have
everything your own way, then it’s best for me to leave the
Trident
, and find a captain who doesn't just want to treat me as a, a
convenient.”

 

 

He gasped in horror at the accusation. “Now I never…”

 

 

But she had stamped out the door and into the main cabin, and he had
to follow her to be heard.

 

 

“I’m sorry. I’m confused. Please listen to me. Stop what you are
doing for one minute and just listen! I don’t know what to think.
One minute you’re my cabin boy, the next minute you’re a friend’s
daughter whom I have taken the most gross advantage of.

 

 

"Almira, please, sit down for a moment and speak with me, without us
raising our voices and saying things we don’t really mean.”

 

 

She sat down warily, and he noted that she made sure that she was
not within reach of him. He was sickened at the thought that he had
scared her and angered her so that she did not even want to touch
him.

 

 

“I didn’t mean any of what I just said, any of the cruel things, at
any rate. As soon as you told me that you were moving in with Cook,
I was jealous. The thought of losing you when we’ve only just found
each other is almost more than I can bear.

 

 

"All I want to do is take you back to bed and bury myself inside
you. In fact, if I’m being brutally honest, all I want to do it lock
you inside that cabin and fill you until you scream with delight day
and night for a month. Is that honest enough for you? Or would you
like more of my rampaging revelations?”

 

 

She managed to summon a small smile. “No, I think I get the general
idea as to how you feel.”

 

 

He stared at her for a few moments, and finally said, “Well, say
something, will you please? I need to know what you're thinking.”

 

 

“How silly you are, how little you trust me, and how much I would
love to take you up on your last suggestion, and do the same to you,
Jared. But, and this is a very big
but
, only on the
condition that you don't leave me at the next port. I don’t require
marriage, but I do require the man I care about being with me night
and day. That can’t happen if we're separated."

 

 

"I know it makes perfect sense, and it sounds wonderful my dear, but
it's such a huge step—"

 

 

She nodded. “I know this is very confusing for you. I’ve had many
weeks to get to know you, and care for you as a friend. To care for
you in the way a woman desires a man," she added with a blush.
"There’s been no one else. How could there be? We’ve become such
good friends, are so close in our likes and tastes, that I can’t
really think that what we’ve shared together is just an itch being
scratched. I think it is the foundation of a genuine passionate
caring relationship.

 

 

"We need the time to find out, though. I know it's surprising, this
thing we share, this smoldering sensation between us. It’s even
astonished me, though I've known for a long time what a good,
decent, handsome and kind man you are. That I've been, well, falling
in love with you ever since we met."

 

 

He felt a huge surge of pride at her words, and would have reached
for her, but she held up one hand to forestall him.

 

 

“I know you have duties. I know you’re the captain. I wouldn’t want
to interfere with that in any way. But just because you are captain
does not mean that you can control everything and everyone,
including me.

 

 

"I don’t want this relationship to continue because we happen to be
sharing the cabin, but because we both want it to. For that we need
to have distance, so that our time together can be special, and
freely chosen by both of us.”

 

 

“Oh, hell, Al, I don’t want you to leave me. I want to come in and
find you in the cabin, right with me all the time. I know it’s
selfish, but I looked forward to being with you even before all of
this happened. That won't change, except in the sense of me missing
you even more acutely when we're apart.”

 

 

“You don’t have to say that.”

 

 

He reached out for her, and stroked her cheek. Soon he was planting
kisses all over her face, and he stood and pressed her up against
him so that there was no mistaking his throbbing desire.

 

 

“Even holding you in my arms like this, I miss you,” he whispered
against her hair.