Thrown: Studs in Spurs, Book 6 (15 page)

“No, he’s setting up the barn for your…tour.” Skeeter watched Jenna’s brow rise at his answer.

“Is he? Well, all right. I guess I have someplace to be. Night, guys. See you in the morning.” She shot them a smile.

“Night.” Riley watched Jenna follow the path Slade had taken. “Open. That’s the word I was looking for. They’re real open about their…”

“Relationships?” Skeeter supplied a word not even close to what they both knew she was thinking. That word Riley had hesitated saying was most definitely
sex
, but he couldn’t seem to say it out loud in front of Riley any more than she could say it in front of him.

She laughed. “Yeah. Relationships.”

They sat in silence with nothing but the sound of the crickets for a while. The moon above them cast a glow that made turning on the light unnecessary. Skeeter was glad of that. It felt good to be surrounded by the night. Comforting almost. They could just be there together.

Riley broke the silence first. “Do you think anybody minded that I suggested we sit outside after supper instead of in the living room?”

“No. Why would they? It’s nice out here. Cooler. It’s a pretty night.” And after reviewing the YouTube videos over and over again on the screen of Jenna’s computer at the dinner table, Skeeter had been more than ready when Riley had suggested they all come outside for a bit.

When he wrestled his thoughts away from where they’d strayed—to everyone analyzing how badly he’d ridden lately—he realized Riley was being too quiet. And that her question about being outside rather than inside was kind of odd. He turned to look at her. “What’s up, Riley? What’s wrong?”

She swallowed so hard he heard it from where he was a couple of feet from her. “I haven’t sat on that sofa since…that night. I’m not sure I ever can again.”

Understanding dawned. “Is that where…” He let the sentence trail off, knowing he didn’t need to finish it.

“Yeah.” She took her time before continuing. “He didn’t feel good. You know, that night after the event? The whole ride home I knew something was wrong. He said it was indigestion from something he ate. And you know arena food. It could have been. So instead of driving straight to the emergency room like I should have, I let him help me unload the bulls. He lay down on that sofa while I got ready for bed. When I came to wake him…”

Her breath was fast and shallow. Riley was obviously reliving all the emotions of that night. Skeeter stood and took the few steps to where she sat. He reached down for her. “Come here.”

She glanced up at him and hesitated a moment before she stood.

He wrapped his arms around her and just held her, right there where they both stood. “It’s not your fault.”

Skeeter was tall, but so was Riley. She came up to his chin as he held her.

Riley must have showered off the day’s dirt sometime before dinner. She smelled like good clean woman and she’d changed from jeans into shorts and a soft cotton T-shirt.

“What if it is? What if I’d made him go to the hospital instead?” She shook her head against him. He feared she was ready to crack.

“Riley, listen to me. From what I knew of your father, he wouldn’t have let you. He would have fought you tooth and nail rather than go. And I have to think he’d be happier knowing his last moments were at home surrounded by his own things, rather than in a hospital.” He stroked her back as he spoke.

That she leaned into him and seemed to relax, even a bit, made him feel good.

Riley drew in a shaky breath. “I guess.”

“What do you want to do about the sofa?” He hated to bring it up, but that question needed to be answered. “If you want it gone, the guys and I will move it tomorrow. Anywhere you want. Out of sight until you can deal with it, or we’ll totally make it disappear if you decide you never want to see it again.”

“I don’t know. Right now I’m picturing him the way I last saw him, pale and lifeless, and it’s horrible. But then there are other times I can still see him sitting there watching a football game and yelling at the television. Or napping after dinner. There are some good memories too.”

He nodded. “So then it stays, and when you’re ready to sit on it for the first time, if you want I’ll come sit with you. And if you want to be alone, I’ll understand.”

“You are too sweet.”

“Sorry.” He remembered too late her strange aversion to him being nice to her. He might never understand females. “Did I make you cry again?”

“A little. It’s okay.” She pulled back far enough to swipe a finger beneath her eyes. “Skeeter?”

“Yeah?” They were standing really close. His arms were still around her back, and her hands rested on his waist.

When she leaned closer and rose on tiptoe until their mouths were just inches apart, his heart kicked into overdrive. He dipped his own head a bit lower. They were so close to touching lips it was almost impossible for him to breathe through the tightness of anticipation in his chest.

“Would it be horrible if I kissed you right now?” They were so close he felt her breath against his skin when she spoke.

Horrible? He couldn’t think of a thing he wanted more. “Not at all.”

“Maybe if you kissed me first, I wouldn’t feel so guilty about it.”

Guilt. This was about her father. Survivor’s guilt. She felt bad wanting to live, to feel joy, because her father was dead. Skeeter could only think that life was for the living and not kissing this amazing girl seemed to be a sin. It could make her feel better. Take her mind off her problems. Hell, it would make him feel better too.

“You have nothing to feel guilty about, but yeah, I can do that. Kiss you.” He closed the small distance, slow but steady. Skeeter let his eyes drift shut at the first feel of Riley’s lips beneath his.

She sighed, the sound soft in her throat, and he melted into her. It felt as if he’d never kissed another girl before and never wanted to kiss anyone other than Riley ever again.

This with her—it was so much more than he’d imagined a kiss could be. He needed her closer, tighter against him. Needed to take more of her, whatever she could give.

And those very thoughts stopped him dead in his tracks. This was not the time to want or demand more from her, even if she was willing to give it. She was vulnerable. Her world was upside down. He could comfort her, even kiss her, but to do anything more than that would be taking advantage of her and her situation.

He pulled back, breaking the kiss, though it took all he had in him to do it. “Riley, we shouldn’t—”

“I know. I’m a horrible person wanting to kiss you when just yesterday I buried my father.” She pulled back, shaking her head.

Crap. He’d fed into her guilt without meaning to. “No, Riley. Not because of that.”

“Oh.” She drew back farther. “It’s because you don’t want to. It’s okay. I kind of forced you into that. I understand—”

“Are you crazy? Riley, no. Definitely not because of that either.” All his good intentions had done was make her feel worse. Forget about being a nice guy. In this case it only seemed to hurt the situation. “Riley, the only reason I stopped was because I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.” She pressed a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I asked you to kiss me. Remember? I want to kiss you…if you want to.”

“Never think I don’t want to. I do.” Skeeter definitely wanted to. He turned his face to catch her lips for just a brief kiss.

“Better show me so I believe you.” She sounded both vulnerable and sexy at the same time. It was enough to cause his gut to twist.

To prove the point to her beyond a shadow of a doubt, he drew her lip between his teeth and hissed in a breath at how erotic if felt to bite into this woman. Damn, she made him feel things he’d never felt.

Riley pulled back enough to say, “We shouldn’t be doing this out here. Slade and Jenna could come back. Let’s go inside.”

Her encouragement fueled the fire banked inside him. He backed them up toward the door, managing to get it open without looking, just by touch. He led her into the house, all the way to the living room. He eyed the big cushioned chair. That could accommodate them both if he sat and pulled her into his lap.

Skeeter didn’t care where they were as long as he could take her lips again. About to do exactly that, he glanced at her face and, now that they were in the brighter light, noticed the deep shadows beneath her eyes. “How long since you’ve slept? I mean really slept, not just dozed?” he asked.

“I’m okay.”

He cupped her face. “That wasn’t the question.”

“A while.” Her chest rose as she drew in a big breath. “I close my eyes and my mind starts to reel and I can’t fall asleep.”

“Come on.” He ran his hand down her arm until he reached her fingers. Skeeter laced his through hers. “I’ll lie down with you until you fall asleep.”

“You don’t have to—”

“Shh. I’m going to.”

“Okay. I am pretty tired.”

“That’s no surprise. Come on.” He tugged her hand.

Inside her room, he released her hand and moved to the window. He hit the ON button for the air conditioner. It purred to life, much quieter than the unit upstairs. Hopefully the soft, steady drone would lull her to sleep.

He’d have to sneak in a shower after she fell asleep, but for now he could lie with her for a while. Skeeter sat on the edge of the mattress and pulled off his boots as the room began to cool. As the second boot dropped to the floor with a thud, he twisted to see Riley hesitating near the bed. She wasn’t sure what he wanted.

What he wanted and what he was going to do were two very different things. He swung his legs onto the bed on top of the covers and leaned back against the headboard.

Reaching out, he flipped back just the corner of the sheets on her side of the bed. “Come on. Get in and get comfortable.”

She did as he’d said, settling in against the pillow beneath his arm. She felt good there, nestled against him. A man could get used to having a soft warm body pressed against his all night, every night.

He glanced down to make sure she was comfortable and saw the smile on her lips. “What?”

She laughed. “I was just thinking if the preacher showed up now his head would probably explode. Between Mustang and Sage in the trailer, and Slade and Jenna in the barn. You and I here…”

“Yeah, I know. Not exactly the wholesome picture I painted for him.” Skeeter didn’t want Riley getting the wrong impression about the guys or him. “You know, they really are a couple of good guys.”

“I know.”

“Don’t say anything to anyone yet, but I think Slade might be fixin’ to ask Jenna to marry him.”

“Really?” She turned her head on the pillow to look up at him. “How do you know?”

“He kind of hinted at it the other day.”

“Wow. That’s nice. You think she’ll say yes?”

“Don’t know. She loves him, anybody can see that, but she’s a city girl with a home in New York. He’s a bull rider, on the road all the time, and his family is in Texas. Differences like that can cause problems, I suppose. It’s not like they’re from the same world—” Skeeter stopped himself before he finished the thought.
From the same world like you and I.

If this were any other time in Riley’s life, Skeeter wouldn’t be sitting in bed with her making small talk until she could fall asleep. Instead, he’d be exploring every inch of her, getting to know her in so many ways.

That time would come. God, he hoped it would. He hadn’t considered trying to have a serious girlfriend since he’d started traveling with the pro circuit. It had seemed impossible. Riley made him want to have one. To have her. She made it seem possible. They did live in the same world. It was very possible.

His pulse sped a bit thinking of lying down with Riley every night, just like this. Like this, but different because if they were together as a couple, they wouldn’t be talking right now. It was nearly impossible, but he yanked his mind off thoughts of making love to Riley. Of what the first time together would be like.

Riley couldn’t know about his internal conflict as she continued to talk. “Yeah, I guess they are different. I still hope she says yes.”

He smiled at her optimism. “Careful. Your romantic side is showing.”

She lifted one shoulder. “That’s okay. It’s only you here. I’ll play the tough stock contractor with the heart of steel tomorrow.”

He gave her shoulder a squeeze. The fact she felt she could show him a part of herself she couldn’t show others warmed him inside. “Close your eyes. The rest of the guys will be here tomorrow, and believe me, you’re gonna need all your energy to deal with them.”

“Nah. I know you’ll deal with them for me.” Her voice sounded dreamy as she sank heavier against him, but all Skeeter could think about was how much trust and faith she’d already placed in him. He’d do whatever it took to live up to her expectations. There was no way he was going to let her down.

“Skeeter?” She surprised him by speaking. She’d been silent for long enough after her pronouncement of her faith in him that he’d thought she might have drifted off.

“Yeah?”

“I liked our kiss.”

Skeeter smiled. “I liked it too.”