To Have & to Hold (4 page)

Grayson focused on the calm at his core and pulled on his strength.

He thrust deep one more time.
And took flight, as only a man could.

He cried out.
Primal.
Fierce.
A war cry of triumph.

The monster had not won. Rain beat down on him and he didn
’
t care. Only his success mattered.
And this woman beneath him.
He smoothed her neck with a laving kiss, tasting a tinge of her blood on his taste buds. He
’
d marked her. She wouldn
’
t thank him for it. But, whether she
’
d admit it or not, she
’
d already been marked, heart and soul, the day they
’
d exchanged marriage vows.
To have and to hold from this day forward, until death do us part.
Marriage vows with a dragon mage were binding until death.

Something
Cate
had learned the hard way a year ago.

Now, h
is momentary loss of control had marked her for the
whole
world to see--she belonged to him.

#

God she was pathetic.

Cate
had shouted almost as loud as Grayson when she
’
d climaxed. The sensual assault on her body and emotions had been powerful, riveting, and all-consuming. She
’
d been undone the moment his
warm
lips had brushed hers. Her body had cried out for his touch, inside and out. And she
’
d succumbed to her ferocious attraction to him and joined in the passion with everything she possessed, body and soul. She couldn
’
t regret it. Not for a moment. She loved him. Nothing had changed.
Which meant she had to leave England.
Today.
She didn
’
t trust herself to not give in to him again and again. And what kind of weak creature would that make her? There were days like today when she hated herself for ever marrying Grayson Cooper. He
’
d ruined her forever. Taken something precious and broken it with his lies and deceit and she could never trust him again even though she loved him beyond logic. And that
’
s why she had to leave. She couldn
’
t be reasonable where Grayson was concerned. She
’
d sacrifice her well-being and very safety for him each and every time.

A love like that is worth fighting for
. The thought whispered through her brain unbidden. No. She wouldn
’
t do it. She
’
d done enough and kept her end of the bargain.
Grayson,
hadn
’
t kept his word. And she couldn
’
t live with that knowledge. She feared she might die at the hands of the dragon he couldn
’
t control.

No. She
’
d take the memory of their last joining with her to remember in the endless
,
lonely years that stretched ahead of her. But she couldn
’
t let her husband stop her. She had to leave. She couldn
’
t trust him. Not a year ago, not today. Her heart ached, raw from their recent love-making and the battery of emotions she
’
d absorbed from Grayson during their frenzied passion.

Her breathing
evened. She opened her eyes. Gray
son had withdrawn from her. He buttoned
his jeans and hunched against the
Audi
, his arm braced against the roof. He didn
’
t pin her in, but rather protected her from the frigid wind that nipped at her bare
,
wet skin.

The rain stopped as quickly as it began. Weak sun tried to break through patches of heavy gray clouds, but gave up its feeble attempt.

Grayson stared at her. She etched every line of his dark brooding countenance into her memory. She wanted to remember him like this forever.
Smoldering, hot, sexy.
It
’
s all she
’
d be able to take with her. He shoved the wet chestnut-colored hair off his forehead, exposing the widow
’
s peak she loved so much. His hair hung almost to shoulder length in an appealing blunt cut he
’
d groomed
himself over the past year. His green eyes, lighter toward the pupil than at the iris, seemed to glow with a devilish light. A neat soul patch bordered his full bottom lip and led to a goatee that covered the tip of his strong jaw. Dangerous and sexy as hell, the look suited him.

Grayson tilted her face up, staring deep into her eyes. He brushed his lips across hers.
“
I love you,
Cate
.
”

Cate
could swear he
’
d reached inside her and touched her soul. Her heart broke in two.

Apparently
the time for the gilded words that would snare her and keep her bound to him had arrived at last. No, she couldn
’
t do it. She wouldn
’
t be swayed this time. There
was
nothing he could say that would keep her here.

He must have read her mutinous expression because his next words were pleading.
“
Please,
Cate
.
Stay with me.
We
’
re good together.
”

She laughed without humor.
“
Sex was never the problem between us.
”

One corner of his mouth
lifted
.
“
But?
”

“
But I can
’
t stay. I won
’
t do it. You
’
ve lied to me one too many times. Yes, I love you. I
’
m afraid I will always love you.
”
She paused, clasped her bra, tugged her shirt down, yanked the soft cotton of her
now muddy
yoga pants back into place and tied the drawstring. Her breath shuddered out raggedly before she could continue, her heart squeezing painfully in her chest.
“
I
’
m leaving.
Don
’
t follow me. I need distance and time to figure out what I want. I
’
ve been so consumed with us, with this, whatever it is that we
’
ve been doing for the last four years that I
’
ve lost myself.
”

“
Cate
, you
’
re killing me.
”
His husky, vulnerable tone chipped away at her effort to harden her heart.
“
Please?
”

“
No. Not this time. I
’
m going home.
”

“
Your home is here with me.
”

“
Not anymore.
”
She straightened her clothes.
“
Good bye, Grayson.
”

She
tipped
up on her toes and kissed him one last time, secreting away the feel of his lips against hers. Then she tugged at the handle of the
car
door, forcing him to step away to let her pass.

The desperation in his eyes almost made her back down, give in to him, and tell him she
’
d stay beside him no matter what. Even though she knew he was a monster.

She sucked in a deep, calming breath.

No. She couldn
’
t. She wouldn
’
t stay.

She slipped inside her car, ignoring pain in her chest so sharp that it threatened to rip her apart. But before she could slam the door closed, he stepped close.

His voice was soft yet deadly.
“
You are mine,
Cate
.
”
He scraped his fingernail gently along the spot on her neck where he
’
d given her a love bite during their passionate lovemaking.

She blushed, the heat spread over her face and down her neck, prickling as it moved across the tender spot on her neck.

“
And I protect what is mine to the death.
”
With those last words, he
moved
,
giving
her
space
to close her car door.

“Yeah, I’ve experienced your protection and it almost killed me. No, thank you. Not this time.”
She slammed the door.

Cate
gripped the steering wheel tight and her whole body trembled as she
floored the gas pedal
and raced down the winding road to the village. She glanced back only once
and wished she hadn’t given in to the temptation because she’d never forget the vulnerable, heart-st
abbing image of her sexy, wounded
husband standing on the cliffs, his broad shoulders hunched, hands in his pockets as he stared out over the churning Celtic Sea
.

He’d never looked more alone or broken.

Whe
n
she reached the village, s
he
flipped down the visor to
assess the damage
. She almost didn
’
t recognize the sultry creature who stared back at her in the visor mirror.
Swollen, rosy lips.
Wide, luminous eyes.
And bedraggled rain-soaked hair.

She stretched her neck to examine how bad the hickey on her neck looked.

She gasped.
Horror-struck.

Below her ear, a tattoo
of a dragon five-inches
in diameter blazed in living color. The
haunting image of Grayson
’
s alter ego stared back at her from the skin of her neck. She traced the
inked artwork
of
a
fierce European winged dragon with one caramel-colored eye and one moss-green eye. The scales
,
beautiful in their glory,
glowed
amethyst, sage, cobalt, sienna and amber.

The Latin words stretched across a narrow banner
below the tattooed
beast
.

Cave,
Hic
Sunt
Dracones
.

Beware, here be dragons.

Chapter Three

One Month Later (March)

Cate
couldn
’
t believe her eyes. She
’
d never escape the bastard now.
Ever.
Damn. She tossed the plastic stick bearing the blue plus sign into the trash can.
Pregnant.
In her wildest daydreams she
’
d never imagined she
’
d be having Grayson
’
s baby. The Fates must be laughing themselves crazy.

It had been a month since she
’
d left England. He hadn
’
t tried to stop her and he hadn
’
t come after. And that
’
s just what she wanted.
Really.
It was.

Then why did her chest ache at the thought of him? She massaged the spot with the heel of her hand. She
’
d told him she needed time to figure everything out. He
’
d taken her at her word. And why wouldn
’
t he? She
’
d warned him not to follow her. Only a crazy man would pursue his wife after such a strong edict. And while Grayson was many things, he wasn
’
t entirely crazy in that way.

Her breath shuddered in her lungs.
A baby.
Possibly a dragon baby.
How the hell was she going to do this? She knew nothi
ng about raising a child, let a
lone a dragon mage. She splayed her
hand on her
belly
. A baby grew there.
A monster.
She caressed the still-flat abdomen.
No, not a monster.
A precious child.
Tenderness
calmed
her initial frenzy. She
’
d always wanted a child.
But not this way.
Never this way.
Alone.
Coping with the fallout of a broken marriage.

Well, not to
t
ally broken in the eyes of the law, because she refused to divorce Gr
ayson. Marriage was sacred. A
s far as she was co
n
cerned, their vows were binding.
Period.
And if he wanted to end the marriage, he
’
d have to find her first.

Not that he
’
d bothered
.

Tande
m tears snaked down her cheeks. She huffed and swiped at the moisture. She refused to cry for the bastard who had put her through such hell. He didn
’
t deserve her tears or her pity.

And yet he needed to know he had a baby. Even if she didn
’
t want him anywhere near her, he had a right to know he might have a son or a daughter. She couldn
’
t keep that secret from him. It would be wrong. And her grandparents had taught her better.

She padded through the master bedroom
, down the stairs, and
into the great room to make the call. Cradling the phone in her lap, she curled into the soft leather sofa, drawing
her knees to her chest. She lai
d her head back on the armrest and closed her eyes. No point in waiting. Better to get the unsavory deed over with now. She sucked in a calming breath and released it as she dialed their number in Cornwall. It was Saturday. Grayson should be there. The tinny ring echoed across the miles. Panic and loneliness mingled in
Cate
’
s
gut to make her want to throw up. She broke out in a cold sweat.

Grayson didn
’
t pick up the phone. He didn
’
t know her new cell number. He might let it go to message if he didn
’
t recognize it on caller ID.

She
’
d watched the media splash he
’
d made a month ago when he
’
d reappeared after a year
’
s absence, taking up the reins of his legal practice in London as if nothing had happened. He
’
d made a comment or two in a press release, stating he
’
d been in an accident that
had required a long convalescenc
e. Please respect his privacy,
yada
,
yada
. No mention of the money that
was rumored to have been embezz
led. When cornered by reporters and asked directly, he
’
d stated an investigation would be conducted by a private third-party consultant to get to the bottom of the issue. And the International Bar Association would be monitoring the investigation
against him
as
well as
the
current business dealings of Cooper
&
James.

If Grayson needed money, all he
’
d had to do was ask. She
’
d invested heavily in his practice, but the money had been a wedding gift as far as she was
concerned. It belonged to him.

Cate
had never wanted for material possessions growing up. Even though she
’
d inherited money from her grandparents
ten years ago and she
had trust funds th
at would keep small
countries afloat, she didn
’
t live extravaga
ntly.
Never had.
Neither had her
grands
.
Not com
pared to others in their circle
.

But she would have given Grayson anything he needed. If only he
’
d asked. He hadn
’
t. He
’
d taken it, like he always did, with a confidence and entitlement she didn
’
t understand. Like a p
rince who deserved everything and anything his fingers touched.

The phone went to the answering machine.

Grayson
’
s husky voice sent a quiver of awareness through her. Lon
ging punched her in the chest
. Maybe she should go back? What if something had happened to him? Fear spiked, sending a chill of dread tingling through her. No.
Someone would have called. Besides, s
he was done protecting Grayson Cooper. She had a baby to think about now. To
raise
.
With or without his support.

She left a message.
“
Grayson, it
’
s me. I need to talk to you. It
’
s about our future. Please, call me. It
’
s important.
”
She rattled off the telephone number where he could reach her.

Cate
could do this.
Even if Grayson continued to ignore her.
Although, she did
n
’
t really think he would, not after her call. He
’
d interpret her message as an invitation back into her life and he
’
d think she now knew what she wanted from him. And she did.
Kind of.
She wanted him to know he had a child. But she wanted him to stay on his side of the pond until he could control the beast that raged inside him. She didn
’
t trust him. And while she had an obligation to let him know about their child, she didn
’
t want him anywhere near her yet.

He didn
’
t know where she
’
d gone. She
’
d be safe enough for now. The trust paid all her bills and Grayson couldn
’
t access any trust records without her permission. There wasn
’
t a paper trail to follow. No credit card transactions. No bills with her current address. She
’
d made it clear to her state-side lawyers, Grayson had no rights where her trust or she was concerned. She
’
d gone totally off the grid.

Cate
wouldn
’
t be found until she wanted to be found. And wh
o knew how long that would be? Even s
he
couldn’t tell
.
She kept flip-flopping, riding on the tide of her emotions. She wanted him. She didn’t. God, she didn’t know. Yet a baby changed everything. Despite all he’d done, she still loved him. That she knew for certain. And she hated it.

Happy here
in the mountains of Pennsylvania
, she
’
d found her haven in the storm.
Alone.
Without a man.
No Grayson. No Michael. It felt good to worry about no one but herself for the first time in years. And she was getting stronger. No one would think to look for her in this remote location, where the nearest
burb
was
Laughlintown
twenty miles away on Lincoln Highway. The winding
, two-lane
country road was
a three-hour trip from
Breezew
ood
ov
er the mountains.

The wildness of the area suited her.

The rural setting calmed her.

The mountain chateau had belonged to her grandparents. They
’
d lived out their golden years here in the Laurel Highlands in Southwestern Pennsylvania
. The house stood
at the edge of Linn Run, where Grove and Rock runs joined to create a
wide mountain stream known for
trout fishing. Chatelaine
’
s Rest sat on a ten-acre wooded plot bordering both Linn Run State Park and Forbes State Forest.

Cate
looked at the beautiful home with new eyes. This would be a perfect place to raise a child.
Especially a dragon child.
The secluded, forest location would give them the space and privacy they needed to train. No one would bother them. And the spacious chateau surrounded by woodlands, with its cathedral ceilings, wide picture windows facing the burbling stream, and open floor plan would accommodate a growing dragon, even one learning to control his untamed nature.

She could raise this child
alone
. The decision would depend on
Grayson’s
response to her. For now, she
’
d take it one day at a time.

#

“Grayson, it’s me.”
Cate’s
voice cut across the room.

Michael James happened to be sitting in the
livingroom
of Grayson Cooper
’
s house when the message came in. Grayson was upstairs showering. They
’
d planned to meet today to go over a strate
gy for the Jorgensen case.

He hadn
’
t heard from
Cate
since the day a month ago when she
’
d
unexpectedly
left town with that stupid dog. The same day, apparently, Grayson had come back from the dead.

Anger erupted, hot and uncontrolled.
He
’
d been so close. And
Cate
and Grayson had gone and wrecked all his plans.
Big plans that would have made him the wealthy husband of a widowed heiress.
If only Grayson had stayed dead.

He took a calming breath. He would recover.

Grayson suspected nothing, and Michael had planted enough seeds of doubt where
Cate
was concerned that Grayson suspected his wife might have played a hand in his accident on that boat a year ago. Grayson believed him.

Michae
l had also painted
Cate
as a desperate woman who
’
d lost most of her money in the
stock market
plu
nge during the recent economic
downturn. The trust fund was seal
ed air
tight. Grayson couldn
’
t investigate his suspicions. And what else would explain
Cate
’
s
quick exit at the appearance of her husband?

This time he
’
d make sure Grayson was dead before he left the scene, not leave the finishing touches up to nature or the whims of a capsizing boat. How the hell Grayson Cooper had survived, he had no clue. If the
gunshot
wound hadn
’
t killed him, the sinking boat should have finished him off. But it wouldn
’
t happen again. The man didn
’
t have nine lives.