Twisted (Delirium #1) (3 page)

His hands settled on my hips as hot breath fanned my pulse. Winding my fingers with his, I took a few deep breaths and regarded the lights of Austin sprawled before us. My head spun. Whether from the four shots or the musky heat enveloping me, it didn’t matter.

I’d lost my mind. Bring on the cute, white jacket with the shiny buckles in the back. Maybe a few months of self-hugs and padded rooms would knock sense into me. Seven years and I still reacted like he was the sun in my universe. My damned, traitorous body refused to loosen its grip on what’d once been.

Whatever rash judgment call I’d made to land myself on the highest balcony in Austin with Caleb holding me undid every step away from the past. The decision had little to do with exorcising the demons I’d battled and everything to do with the grand what-if my inner dreamer refused to let die.

What if he hadn’t left me? What if I’d fought to remain at his side?

The old me didn’t fight, scrabble for what was hers. She toed the line and remained unnoticed. Uncomplicated.

What a fucking stupid bitch.

“You’re scrunching your nose,” he accused with a chuckle. “What are you thinking about so intensely?”

I stilled under the implication. He remembered my tells? Answering meant going down the serious road. Tequila-filled Shasta had zero business opening the serious vault. Not when hussy Shasta was primed and ready to carouse.

Tonight. I’d give myself tonight to bask in the chemical imbalance Caleb Douglas created. I’d revel in the delirium and pretend the seven years we’d been separated meant nothing and I somehow stood a chance of competing against the millions of people filling the chasm between the man I loved and who he’d become, a rock sensation capable of having any woman he wanted.

“Why are you here? Why me?”

“It’s always been you, Shasta Monohan.”  

It’s always been you, Shasta Monohan.

The statement pelted the last of my defenses. Despite the probable morning-after doubts, I was all-in. Tonight the gorgeous, phenomenal man looking down at me when I turned around was mine. I stood on tiptoes and brushed my lips along his, a desperate maneuver lacking the confident eroticism of his typical blonde bimbo playmates.

Caleb grasped my face and licked along the seam of my lips. I opened beneath the onslaught, wrapping my arms around him as his tongue plunged into my mouth. Awareness trickled along my skin, surging through me in a fiery burst of arousal. Butterscotch assailed my tongue, reminding me of the candies he once kept tucked away in his pocket, a habit adopted from his grandpa.

The memory burrowed me deeper into his embrace, a reflexive need to return to what’d once been. The warm glide of his hand along my side reflected the cool breeze as the material gave way to his wandering touch. A groan tumbled between us, his or mine, I couldn’t tell. His thumb caressed my breast, just beneath my nipple. The contact propelled a pulsing charge through my system.

The gentle glide along my skin was juxtaposition to the hungered claim of his mouth as he demanded my surrender with the sensuous onslaught drugging my mind until nothing existed but us. I couldn’t handle gentle, not after longing for this moment as many times as I had the past few years.

Eagerness fueled brazenness as I ran my hands down his back, across his waist. He growled when I cupped the bulge in his jeans. I trembled in anticipation as I fumbled with the button, then the zipper. Pleasure swirled within me. To hell with foreplay. I needed to feel him buried deep inside me, consequences be damned. And yeah, the tequila steered my decisions, but I didn’t care.

Caleb severed the kiss and I dipped my hand into his pants and brushed my fingers along his hardened shaft. A groan echoed along my cheek.

“Jesus, Shas. You’re about to make the time at the cabin look like an all-nighter.” He thrust himself against me. “Fuck, I missed your touch.”

No. I couldn’t handle the soul confessions, or whatever the hell his words were. Not now, probably not ever. Each word seared me, branding my heart with his permanence there. I’d been a fool to think I could purge him from where he belonged, but I wasn’t about to walk away from him. I claimed his mouth and took his thick length into my hand, tugging and working it in synch with my tongue.

His responding groans loosened the firm control I’d had on my inhibitions. Tonight was supposed to be about analyzing and evaluating his flaws. Remembering why we hadn’t been a good idea, but the chemistry had always been so blissfully right. I should’ve run a mental list of pet peeves, but so help me God I couldn’t think of a single one. Not. One.

He turned me around so I faced the city, a reminder we weren’t in White Bluffs, at the cabin he’d mentioned. It’d been one of our favorite places. Anguish embalmed my insides, a preparation for his next departure looming on the horizon. Warmth settled along my back as he explored my body, igniting with deft touches to my breasts, pinches to my nipples. Damn him. He’d learned to play my body years ago.

“Remember the time we climbed up the water tower?”

My pulse quickened. Air thundered in and out of my lungs. I leaned forward over the railing pressing into my belly. The action rubbed my ass against his hard length. Caleb ran a hand up my inner thigh. I tensed all over, anticipating the contact I’d fantasized for so long.

“Shas? Do you remember what we did up there?” I’d never forget. Yanking my upper body back to lean against him, he nibbled and licked my neck until I shivered in his embrace. “Maybe you need a reminder because I sure as hell can’t forget. Every time I’m up somewhere high I swear I smell you in the wind, feel your slick heat around me.”

I gasped as he glided a finger along my wet slit. Turning to face him again, I fumbled with his jeans a moment, determined to release his hardened length. Hiking my leg to loop around his waist, I urged him forward and groaned my need. “Fuck me, Caleb. Please. I need you in me.”

His bicep flexed beneath my hand as he severed the contact and reached behind him. Heat spread through me when his tongue plunged to chase mine. I ground my pelvis against his exposed cock in a hungered invitation I prayed he intended to accept.

A foil square appeared in his hand which he brought to his mouth. Tearing the package open with his teeth, he stared into my eyes. “You sure, Shas? I shouldn’t be doing this. You’ve had too much to drink.”

“Shut up and fuck me, Caleb Douglas.” I grabbed the condom from the package before he could second guess the decision and rolled it over his hardened length. The moment my hand wrapped around his neck he lifted me and thrust deep into my wet pussy. I moaned in pleasure as sensation drifted through me. Meeting him thrust for thrust, I followed his tongue, taunting and tasting the butterscotch laced depths of his mouth.

“Jesus, you’re so tight, Shas. I missed this so much. You have no idea.”

I’d craved him every single night since he’d left. Unwilling to impart the depths of the hurt his decision created, I deepened the kiss. He severed the contact and withdrew from me. Momentum turned me to face the city once again. Cool air brushed across my thighs. I moaned when he leaned me forward and lifted me enough to plunge deep. Although the depth of the metal covered from my waist to my upper thigh, the thrill of being caught as Caleb fucked me senseless ignited something within me.

My muscles tensed, my eyes fluttered shut as I sank into each thrust of his thick length. I’d never tell him there hadn’t ever been anyone but him. Knowing I wasn’t the only one for him was enough of a blow to my esteem. I hated thinking of him with other women, fucking them the way he did me now. Holding back the fact he’d been the only one to possess me gave me a little power, even if it was pathetically low of me.

His finger rubbed my clit and everything within me detonated.  My vision tunneled, my body pulsated. I clenched his thick length when he tried to withdraw. “Don’t leave me.”

The plea tumbled between us before I could stop it.

“Never, Shas. Never again.” He thrust deeper, harder—commanding my body to hang over the edge of passion as he growled his release.

Time escaped me as I floated within the blissful ignorance of euphoria. I couldn’t tell how long it’d been when reality returned. He kissed my neck and ran his hands down my sides. “You okay?”

“I’m fabulous.”

“Fuck this party and the obligations. Let’s head to my hotel. I want to spend time with you, not some douche bag rocker.”

“You just got here.”

“I don’t care.” He pulled me toward the balcony exit. “Let’s go.”

I righted my clothing as we shuffled forward. Why was he so dead set on leaving? Was he ashamed someone he knew might see me with him? Crap. Head down, mostly in shame in case anyone had stumbled across our public display of debauchery, we headed toward the door. I grumbled. “We barely got here. Slow down. I can’t walk fast in heels. I know you don’t want to be seen with me, but please slow the hell down.”

He halted and turned. I gasped in shock when he lifted me up and tossed me on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “Do you still believe I care what anyone thinks? Fuck them all, Shas.”

“Caleb! Put me down.”  We continued powering through the crowd. I leaned up as far as my spine and physics would allow when he paused toward what I hoped was the exit. A long set of legs appeared in my vision. I angled a bit more to stare up and up. “Shit, you’re tall.”

The man grinned. “I hadn’t noticed. Let me get the door for you, man.”

“Thanks.”

I counted to three once we exited. We’d made enough of a scene without adding impatience to the list. A ping gave me pause. Good. The elevator. A perfect spot to lambast him with every tequila-fueled thought racing through my mind faster than greyhounds hell bent for the finish line.

We stepped into the elevator, or rather he did. The moment the doors shut he set me down. I punched and slapped his chest, giving my muddled brain a moment to form the words raging within me.

“Ease up, killer.”

“What the hell?”

“Me getting us the hell out of there before I carried you up to the bedroom and had my way with you how I want.” He grabbed my hair and closed the distance until his lips hovered above mine. “As for the carrying, you know it pisses me off when you say shit about yourself. Don’t ever put yourself down around me, Shas.”

Our mouths collided in a confrontational kiss meant to display dominance. I had zero chance, but the battle gave me a much-needed outlet for the rage broiling my insides. Damn him for undoing seven years of healing—for showing the so-called mending I’d done hadn’t been anything but numbness.

Feeling nothing after his departure helped me move onward, but I’d never left. I’d been in limbo on the off chance he returned. I wasn’t a fool. Tonight wasn’t about a lather, rise, repeat of the past. It was about closure.

I needed every second I could steal from fate to close the door between us permanently. Desire swept me into a chasm of need. Pressed against the elevator wall, I moaned when his tongue licked along the swell of my breast. Greedy hands dipped beneath the material and pushed, pulled and stretched the borrowed top until my breasts popped out.

Heat enveloped a hardened nipple. I finger combed his hair and urged him to continue. Warm hands drifted up my thighs. Fuck it. I needed him again. Seven years entitled me to a second round. I rifled through his back pocket and moaned my gratitude when I came up with a second condom.

Not thinking about whether he always carried them around expecting was my chosen path. He broke contact long enough to pull his pants down until the denim pooled at his feet. I knelt before him and he groaned when I licked along the inner side of his shaft. Thick and hot in my hand, the rigid member pulsated with a need rivaling mine.

Precum lingered on my tongue when I flicked it across the swollen head. Though I wanted to inhale his length and savor him powering into my mouth until his release filled my gut, I needed him too badly. Oral delights would have to wait until later.

I ripped the package open and moved to roll the condom on his cock when a ping thundered around us. What the hell? I looked around him as the doors slid open.

Oh shit.

“Hands in the air!”

The command startled a yelp from me. Glaring up at him as the sweet numbness of shock slipped into place. “You didn’t push the hold button.”

A couple of throats cleared as I groaned and stood, hands above me. I did have the decency to pull Caleb’s pants up first. I didn’t think the two hulky men behind him would appreciate the competition down under as much as me.

“Sorry, Shas.”

Great. Just what I needed.

* * *

Caleb

“Say ‘alibi’,” Bets sing-songed as she snapped our picture. She shrugged and took several more as I growled at her.

The Austin Police Department had been somewhat accommodating under the circumstances. Though we’d been settled into a cell, we’d been given special consideration thanks to the swarming media circus outside. News of my arrest and the reason behind it spread.

I’d considered requesting my phone call to call the attorney or my new manager. Hell, anyone. Frankly, I didn’t want to deal with any of them. All I wanted was a few moments alone with the sexy as hell woman curled on my lap.

She’d passed out a few minutes after we’d been placed in our cell, and apparently after calling Bets.

“Come on, you can do better.” She smirked and held her smart phone up again. “Work those bars. Embrace your inner bad ass. Narrow your eyes and snarl. Let out your inner beast. Grab your woman and Say ‘mine’.”

“Bets.”

She harrumphed and shoved her phone into the smallest purse I’d ever seen. Her gaze narrowed. “You know, when you called me and said ‘Bring her to my show. It’ll be fun’ we somehow never got around to the part where you got her arrested.” She stage whispered the words, the concern for Shas evident. It was why I wouldn’t say shit in response.

She was right.

I’d been all over Shas like I hadn’t had sex before. Okay, I’d had a few dry spells because no woman compared to the sexy as fuck woman sprawled across me.

Damn, her words earlier undid me. She’d looked up at me and whispered, “You made me feel again.” Then she’d passed right the hell out, trusting me to keep her safe and handle the cluster fuck I’d landed us in thanks to my raging dick.

“An elevator? Seriously?” Bets shook her head and crossed her arms. “Are you twelve suddenly?”

I glared.

“What the hell is your play here anyway?”

“None of your damn business.”

“Listen, bucko. The day you walked away from her on her fucking birthday you made everything between you two my clean-up project. I was the only one around picking up the pieces and stitching her together like the shattered ragdoll you made her into. Don’t you dare sit there saying it isn’t
my business
.”

Shas stirred against me and I groaned as her hand pressed against my crotch. “Bets?”

“I’m here, girlfriend. Let’s spring you two jailbirds. We’ll IHOP you sober and then you can do the deed in a bed like a normal person instead of an elevator.”