Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Wonderful World of Odd (5 page)

BOOK: Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Wonderful World of Odd
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Modern medicine has a term for it: Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. Lack of sunlight inhibits the production of melatonin, a hormone which people need in order to feel happy. Deprived of it for a prolonged time, humans begin to feel depressed. Viganella has suffered the effects of SAD for a long,
long
time. But that all changed, thanks to a strange man with a strange dream.

MAYOR MIDALI

Pierfranco Midali stayed in Viganella after most of his friends had left. A railway worker by trade, Midali wanted to help his town. So in 1999 he ran for mayor with an eye-opening campaign promise: “I will bring the sun to Viganella!”

The townspeople weren’t sure if they believed Midali, but they were curious enough to elect him. But then the question became, “How do you plan to do this, Mr. Mayor?” Midali’s response: “We’ll build a huge mirror on the mountain to the north and reflect the sun’s rays onto our village!” There were two big problems with this plan, though: 1) Midali had no idea how to do it; and 2) he had no idea how to pay for it. So he called up an architect friend of his named Giacomo Bonzani who had built a sundial on the wall of a church in Viganella. Bonzani thought the plan
was feasible and went to work studying the mountain. What he came up with would have been a mammoth project for even a big city, and seemed impossible for a town of 197 people. The plan: place a 2,000-pound mirror 3,600 feet above the town on top of the mountain. Measuring in at 26 by 16 feet, the mirror would be mounted on a giant computer-activated motor that would move the lens with the sun. For up to six hours a day, the mirror would redirect sunlight onto a section of town about the size of three football fields. The plan’s cost: $131,000. (Did we mention that the town only has 197 people?)

Henry Ford grew marijuana…hoping to make new plastics from it.

It was obvious that the town would need some outside help to pay for the mirror. First they asked the regional government to fund it. They said no. Midali then traveled across Italy and Europe, asking private citizens, banks, and corporations to pitch in. It took seven years, but Midali finally pulled it together. Meanwhile, Bonzani (the architect) had finished his plans for the mirror, and found a company to build it. By this time even the townspeople had warmed up to the idea. “I was a bit skeptical at first,” said a local tavern owner named Franco. “But now I’m all for the giant mirror. It’s freezing in my tavern and we have to keep the light on all the time.” Yet no one was as enthusiastic as Midali. “I can already see my little old ladies coming out of the church after mass,” he said, “and just standing there, enjoying a bit of sun!”

HERE COMES THE SUN

The big day finally came: December 17, 2006. Villagers gathered in the town square while Midali readied himself at the mirror control center. While the crowd waited in the shadow, their mayor slowly rotated the mirror, and for the first time in its long history, Viganella basked in the winter sun. “I have been waiting for this moment for seven years,” said Midali.

*       *       *

Hack Job:
Many other alpine towns suffer the same winter fate as Viganella, and one local mayor thinks he has a better idea: In the town of Sedrina, also in the Italian Alps, the mayor doesn’t want reflected sun light; he wants the real thing. His proposal: remove 75 feet of rock from the top of the mountain overlooking Sedrina.

The fastest speed Man has achieved on the moon: 10.56 m.p.h., set in a lunar rover.

ACCORDING TO THE
LATEST RESEARCH

Here’s a look at some of the more unusual scientific (and a few not-so-scientific) studies we’ve been reading about lately.

V
IDEO GAMERS MAKE BETTER SURGEONS

Researchers:
Beth Israel Medical Center, New York City

Who They Studied:
Surgeons

What They Learned:
Are your kids playing video games when they should be doing their homework? They may be smarter than you think: This study of 33 surgeons found that those who “warmed up” for surgical practice drills by playing a video game called Super Monkey Ball before attempting the drills worked faster and made fewer mistakes than surgeons who did not play Super Monkey Ball. After playing the video game for 20 minutes, surgeons were tested on their ability to complete what is known as the “cobra rope” drill, which simulates inserting a tiny video camera and surgical instruments into a small incision in the skin and using them to suture an internal wound. Surgeons who played Super Monkey Ball before attempting the drill finished an average of 11 seconds faster than surgeons who didn’t, which suggests that the video game improved eye-hand coordination, visual skills, and reaction times.

PROBLEM GAMBLER? IT MAY BE YOUR MEDS

Researchers:
The Mayo Clinic

Who They Studied:
Parkinson’s disease patients

What They Learned
: A 2005 article in
Archives in Neurology
reported a study which found that certain drugs used to treat symptoms of Parkinson’s disease may have a rare and unusual side effect: They may cause patients to become compulsive gamblers, even if they have
never
been interested in gambling before. The article described the cases of 11 Parkinson’s patients who were taking drugs known as
dopamine agonists,
which mimic the chemical dopamine. (Parkinson’s disease kills the brain cells that produce
the dopamine.) Dopamine also plays a role in stimulating the pleasure centers of the brain, leading researchers to speculate that the dopamine agonists may overstimulate these areas of the brain, causing compulsive “pleasure-seeking” behavior. When the drug doses were reduced or eliminated entirely, the compulsion to gamble ended as abruptly as it had started.

It’s a crime to punch a bull in the nose in Washington, D.C.

YOUR DESTINY IS IN YOUR OWN HANDS

Researchers:
Various

Who They Studied:
Athletes

What They Learned
: According to a 2006 study published in the
British Journal of Sports Medicine
, women whose ring fingers are longer than their index fingers are better at sports involving running—soccer, tennis, and track-and-field events—than women whose ring fingers are shorter than their index fingers. A similar study published in 2001 found that 304 male English professional soccer players had “a significantly larger ring-to-index-finger ratio than a control group of 533 other men,” and other studies have also shown correlations between ring/index-finger length and things as diverse as sexuality, musical ability, and susceptibility to different diseases.

LET’S PRAY THAT THIS STUDY IS FLAWED

Researchers:
Mind/Body Institute, Boston

Who They Studied:
Heart-bypass patients

What They Learned
: In a $2.4 million, 10-year study involving the cases of more than 1,800 patients, researchers found that prayers offered by strangers for the recovery of heart-bypass patients in six different hospitals had no effect on their recovery. The patients were divided into three groups: 1) those who were prayed for by strangers and were told so; 2) those who were prayed for by strangers but who were told they “may or may not” be prayed for; and 3) those who were not prayed for and were told nothing. (The praying was done by an order of monks, an order of nuns, and a nondenominational prayer ministry.) The study found no difference in outcome between those who were prayed for and those who were not. Then, when the researchers compared the two groups who received prayers, the results got more interesting: Those who were told they were prayed for actually suffered
more
complications after surgery than those who were told they may or may not be prayed for. Being told “may have made them uncertain, wondering, ‘Am I so sick they had to call in their prayer team?’” says cardiologist Dr. Charles Bethea, one of the co-authors of the study. “Our conclusion from this is that the role of
awareness
of prayer should be studied further.” The study’s findings are similar to those of a 1997 University of New Mexico study which found that alcoholics in rehabilitation who knew they were being prayed for did worse than those who didn’t.

The poisonous copperhead snake smells like fresh-cut cucumbers.

GRAPEFRUIT MAKES WOMEN SEEM YOUNGER

Researchers:
Smell and Taste Institute, Chicago

Who They Studied:
Several male volunteers

What They Learned
: Researchers smeared several middle-aged women with a number of substances, including grapefruit, spearmint leaves, lavender, bananas, and broccoli, and then invited male volunteers to sniff the subjects and guess their ages. None of the substances made any difference in the men’s ability to guess the women’s ages…except for the grapefruit, which caused the men to perceive the women as being an average of six years
younger
than they really were.

MARIJUANA: FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Researchers:
Scripps Research Institute, California

Who They Studied:
Alzheimer’s disease patients

What They Learned
: According to this study, smoking marijuana may help delay the onset of Alzheimer’s disease by preventing the breakdown of the brain chemical
acetylcholine.
Reduced levels of acetylcholine, which transmits nerve impulses in the brain, is one of the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease. Amazingly, smoking pot may also help to block the formation of protein clumps in the brain, which are known to impair memory and clear thinking in Alzheimer’s patients.

SHOCKING DISCOVERY: IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD

Researcher:
Swiss doctor Olaf Blanke

Who They Studied:
An epileptic patient

What They Learned
: In a 2006 article in the journal
Nature
,

Blanke described a case in which he and a colleague evaluated a woman to see if she was suitable for surgery to treat her epilepsy. When he electrically stimulated an area on the left side of her brain, she became convinced that she was being watched by someone who was standing behind her. When they applied the same stimulation as she leaned forward and grabbed her knees, she became convinced that the mysterious person behind her was grabbing her. Though unrelated to her epilepsy, the creepy, unexpected discovery is potentially important to the study and treatment of mental illness: “Our findings may be a step toward understanding the psychiatric manifestations such as paranoia, persecution,” Blanke writes, “and alien control.”

A mole can dig 300 feet of tunnel in one night.

*       *       *

GETTING THE STAR TREATMENT

One of the nice things about being a famous act like the Beach Boys or Prince is that you get to ask for whatever you want in your contract…and concert promoters have to give it to you. Here’s what these folks asked for:

Little Richard:
“Artist retains the right to distribute souvenir books to the public free of charge. The book is the summary of Little Richard’s moral beliefs.”

The Dixie Chicks:
“Fan base is approximately 70 percent female. Therefore the possibility of overcrowded female restrooms exist. Remedy this by turning around some of the men’s restroom facilities in the main concourse into women’s facilities.”

Prince:
“All items in this dressing room must be covered by clear plastic wrap until uncovered by artist.”

The Beach Boys:
“No form of media advertising shall contain the word ‘oldies’ in conjunction with artist’s name or logo.”

Foo Fighters:
“Any strange or lingering odors should be dealt with and covered up wherever and whenever possible.”

The town of Ding Dong, Texas, is located in Bell County.

AN “E” FOR EFFORT

One of our favorite topics is dumb crooks. Here are a few people who tried extra hard to commit crimes…and still failed.

P
LAY A HAPPY SONG

Clifton Lovell is the owner of a musical instrument store called Guitars and Cadillacs in DeQueen, Arkansas. One day in 2006 he saw a man leaving the store with a strange guitar-shaped shape in his pants. Lovell followed 29-year-old Morgan Conaster out of the store and asked him what he had in his pants. “Nothing,” said Conaster…but he eventually confessed, opened his jacket, and pulled a solidbody electric guitar from his pantleg. He was arrested.

SAAB STORY

Joshua E. Reed of Rutland, New York, was arrested on theft charges in late 2006, and as a condition of his bail had to report to the local sheriff’s office once a day. One day in November, he suddenly realized he didn’t have a ride to the sheriff’s office and he was going to be late for his meeting…so he
stole
a car. Rutland police spotted the green 1994 Saab, pulled Reed over, and arrested him. “He has a once-daily reporting requirement and, as ridiculous as it sounds, he was concerned about reporting on time,” Reed’s lawyer said. “He just wasn’t thinking.” Reed was thrown back in jail and now faces up to 12 years in prison.

DON’T DRINK AND EAT

Police in Kemerovo, Russia, pulled a man over in 2006 on suspicion of drunk driving when they saw his car weaving down the road. The man, who was not identified, admitted that he’d drunk half a quart of pure grain alcohol. When the police told him they were going to confiscate his car, the man decided to try to thwart them…by popping his keys in his mouth and trying to swallow them. One of the officers tried to retrieve the keys, fearing that the driver would choke, but the driver bit him. The police were finally able to get the keys out of the man’s mouth (after putting gloves on), and arrested him for drunk driving…and disobeying police orders.

BOOK: Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Wonderful World of Odd
7.83Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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