Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment (4 page)

Here is another question:

I have read a lot of materials about women. I see how the process happens from meeting a woman all the way up to sex with her. I don't have a problem with sex and I don't have a problem with meeting women. It's just all the stuff in between that gets me lost most of the time. It's like a new discipline.

The funny thing is I have the discipline to run 10 miles a day and work out regularly with no problems. I'm disciplined with my finances as well. These things seem more difficult to do. But I see guys attract women constantly and for them it's so easy, and not to judge, but it doesn't seem hard to them.

Like I said, I know a lot about the game, but like everything else for me, it takes a long time for me to effectively use what I know. I have success with women. I'm just not attracting the type of girl I really want. Whenever I do get ones I really like, I always blow it. You know, "gotta get my hair done" or "lets just be friends" before anything really jumps off. I even had a super hot girl over and couldn't get a hard up!!! What's up with that man?? That really messed me up.

My question is what would you suggest to speed up my learning curve. Would this be a confidence issue on my part?? I am a good looking, muscular, 6'2" black guy. I will not get passed over for someone 6 inches shorter and twice my weight anymore. There should be none of this. I am willing to do whatever it takes to

get this fixed!! I won't live with this anymore! I'm ready to be the man!!! What do I need to do in order to speed up this learning process?

It is all about knowledge and beliefs.

You said that you had a super hot girl over but couldn't get it up. Sex is controlled by the subconscious. Your subconscious sabotaged your sex with her. That could be caused by you basing your self worth on conquests, or that could be caused by you not believing that you deserve it.

You said that whenever you get ones you really like, you blow it. The problem is that you do not ‘expect’ them to stay. That is due to you not believing that you deserve it. You have many internal conflicts. It is all about beliefs. Get your beliefs right and the rest will follow. Learn to believe that you deserve good women. And then ‘expect’ them to enjoy themselves with you.

You said you are not attracting the type of girl you really want. Do you know what type of girl you really want? Can you express it in

positive terms such as "She must have

positive attribute, and she

must have

positive attribute.” Do you know what the really

important positive attributes are?

Your high level logic mind thinks that you deserve a good woman, but your subconscious (what really matters) disagrees. Dig down deep inside and find your self limiting beliefs. Challenge them by finding truth from reality that negates them. Convince yourself that you deserve good women. Support it with facts from reality. Live your life as if you deserve good women. Accept nothing less.

Take responsibility for your own lot in life. Take responsibility for changing that. Realize that it is all up to you. You only have you to rely on. Which basically means find your own sense of personal power and build upon it.

Learn to connect with a woman on an emotional level. It is ok to do. It is a manly thing to do. An emotional connection is the lubricant that advances things to a romantic and sensual level.

Get out of your own head. Stop thinking about all the reasons why you should fail, and start thinking about why it would be good for her.

Stop thinking about what's in it for you. Think about what's in it for her.

Women want sex. Women love sex. Women are highly sexual creatures. And you’re the man who’s going to oblige her needs!

You’re the man who’s going to leverage her emotional soul to connect with her, her romantic heart to entice her, her innate sensuality to excite her, and her downright horniness to satiate her, and then do it the next day, and the next, until she is delirious with pleasure, ecstatic about being a woman, totally loving life, and wildly crazy about you!

Here’s another question:

If women like sex so much, as you say they do, then why do they have such "bitch shields?"

I am tall, muscular, good looking, well dressed, and well groomed, but it seems like women are somewhat defensive when I approach them.

I don't mind taking risks and I can approach women, but it's just the frustration of trying to get through the "bitch shield" is what gets to me. If women want sex so badly, why do they put up so much resistance to your approaches? I don't come off like a horndog or anything, I ask them general questions to build rapport, and tell stories about myself, but it doesn't seem to capture their attention.

I do not teach pick up, or approaching, or whatever. That is fully covered in other places. But I will speak to the beliefs involved in your email.

I have a motto: “No matter how hard the shell, they all have a soft chewy center.” Which means: each of those ladies at some point are going to melt like butter under the hand of a man who knows how to lead.

Go into any bar on a Friday night. There are two nicely dressed women sitting at the bar sipping cocktails as they talk to each other. What do you see? Do you see two women ready to shoot you down?

Look at the reality of the situation. If they wanted to talk to each other without interruption, they could have done that in their bathrobes at the kitchen table. But no, they spent two hours getting ready so they could look good so they could attract men. Why? Because they want to have an exciting relationship full of exciting sex.

If you investigate further, you will probably find that one of the women is already in a fulfilling relationship, but the single one had to beg her to go out so that the single one could meet a man. They know exactly why they're there.

Female “bitch shields” are only seen by men who think they are doing something wrong, or who objectify women, or are trying to take something from women, or who base their self worth on what women think of them. In actuality, the “bitch shield” is a woman’s quick and easy way to deter such men.

But the Masterful Lover sees an opportunity. He sees the potential.

He sees a woman who will melt like butter under his lead.

Here’s another question:

You say that women want to be "slutty" in the bedroom and really "let go." I'm all for that! I really want to "be the man" and be in control and talk dirty to my girlfriend, but I hesitate and bungle it because I think she's going to take it wrong or be offended or feel like an object.

I really want her to enjoy the sex and I really want to be good in the bedroom.

From your email, it is clear that you are already bought into the concept that she would enjoy it. You already understand that women respond powerfully to a man who is "in control." You already understand that it allows her to "let go" and get "slutty."

All very true.

But even though you KNOW it's true and you are in complete logical agreement with the facts, you don't do it.

What a shame. You're missing out on all that is possible.

And it's all because of your own hindering beliefs. You think you would not be treating her with respect. You think it would be disrespectful.

As you recall, I talk at great length about respect. Everything can be measured against the word respect. But it has to be from the correct perspective.

Look at it this way...

In the living room, you treat her like a lady. Also said as: You treat her "with respect." All very good, and very important (at least for the high self esteem women.)

But in the bedroom, have RESPECT for the fact that she is a highly sexual creature that WANTS to get SLUTTY! Also very true (especially true for the high self esteem women.)

RESPECT that about her. Have respect for her wishes.

Let me bring your attention to one phenomenon that will change your entire outlook on being "in control" in the bedroom:

Live by those words.

What that means is that when she is feeling very sexual and highly aroused, things that may otherwise sound very disrespectful, will NOT be taken as disrespectful. In fact, they will actually INCREASE her excitement.

But you have to do it with absolute conviction. if you don't, the dirty talk will crash and burn.

To do it with absolute conviction, you have to be comfortable with the fact that she is a highly sexual creature. And to be able to do that, you need to be comfortable with sexuality.

Obtaining the proper knowledge, based upon facts from reality, is the way to empowering beliefs.

The most important knowledge to obtain, that will improve beliefs the most, is the knowledge to give women incredible pleasure.

When you know that you can give women sexual experiences beyond anything she has ever imagined, you massively improve your confidence.

Confidence is a belief in yourself. A self assuredness based upon knowledge based upon facts from reality.

You are obtaining that knowledge by studying this program. And you came to the right place.

Years ago I wished there had been a book that I could go to that would tell me the really important things to know about how to give women awesome sex.

After my divorce in ’92, I set out to figure out what went wrong and how I would never make that mistake again. I read every divorce recovery book there was. That got me very interested in the psychology of relationships. So I read every relationship book there was out there.

And during my phone sex stage, I was curious to find out what it takes to be an amazing lover. These women would tell me of some of their lovers in the past and how it was so exciting. I simply assumed that it was because the guy had a big dick. So I would outright ask these women: “Why? Did he have a big you know what?” And every single one of the women said: “Well, actually, no.” In fact, a number of women told me how they grew tired of their husband because he had a big dick and kept ramming her with no concern for her pleasure.

So it was something else. I was determined to find out.

Unfortunately, these women didn’t really know what it was about the exciting lovers in their past that made it exciting. They’d tell me that it was because the guy was amazingly good at oral sex, or

something like that. But I could tell in the way that they spoke that they really didn’t know, they were just trying to pin it on one specific thing.

I became evident to me that the women had simply been swept away in the experience. I extracted information about their stories and started putting the pieces together myself.

At the same time, I started going to the night clubs on the weekends. I needed the validation that I was still attractive to young women, because after my divorce I felt old and used up. But I was surprised at how well some of the young women responded to me.

But about half of these young women were not having orgasms. I figured that the reason was because I was making love to them the same way I had been making love to my wife for many years. It worked while we were married, but it was not working on these one night stands. And it was not working like the phone sex thing was. It was because of the clumsiness of the one night stand, and the fact that it was reality, not fantasy. So I decided to incorporate more cerebral stuff, and I was going to learn some new sex techniques.

I was on a mission. I was going to learn what it takes to be an amazing lover.

But I was very disappointed in the sexuality books. They only talked about sexual positions, or they'd spend twenty pages just talking about how to lick the clit, or they'd require you to memorize the names of 200 East Indian Gods. Or worse, they’d talk about “Mars” and “Venus” and about “communication” which reeks of wimpyness. I am all for communication, and especially for emotional intimacy, but it must be in the context of respect. Your woman must have respect for you in order to take what you say seriously.

In order that you give your woman mind blowing sex, you must command respect with her. You will be giving her commands to do things that stretch her existing boundaries. Thus, her respect for what you say must override her own self consciousness and self limiting beliefs.

I tried some of the suggestions in the various books, which had various successes. Then I would try variations, and have better success. Then I figured I’d just start trying things of my own design.

It all started to gel in 1993 when I was dating a 22 year old woman who had never had an orgasm. Nothing I did in the bedroom was bringing her close to an orgasm. So I just relaxed and just tried things to see how she would respond. That’s when I fell upon the deep spot and gave her her first orgasm. I will discuss the deep spot in detail in a few pages. And it worked amazingly well on other women who had never had an orgasm. And on other women, it would be something else I tried that would give her her first orgasm. Things really started to come together.

Then I would give women their first orgasm in intercourse. Then I would give them their first multiple orgasm. It was like there was no limit to what could be done. And I knew I could make it so for most any woman I met.

It got to the point where when I would be talking to a woman that I just met, I’d be thinking in the back of my mind: “She has no idea just how hard she is going to come for me. She has no idea how many times she is going to come for me. She has no idea just how sexual she is going to be for me.”

Now let’s get into the sexual techniques. Let’s start at the beginning, with female anatomy.

To begin, you must first know female anatomy.