Vacation on Union Station (EarthCent Ambassador Book 7) (20 page)

Twenty

“So you’re saying that the Human Expatriates Election League is actually a front for Vergallian Intelligence?” a shocked Ambassador White asked Kelly. “But how could an advanced species be so incompetent at politics?”

“Consider it from the other side,” President Beyer suggested. “They managed to recruit hundreds of innocent humans and artificial people to do their dirty work for them, and all it took was money. Even with the unworkable political platform, they still operated undetected for more than a month.”

“I’ve been getting a crash course in Vergallian politics from our intelligence analysts, and I’m afraid we got lucky this time,” Kelly said. “As with most of the aliens, the Vergallians hold a view of humanity which has been heavily influenced by Grenouthian documentaries. I’ve only watched a few of those myself, but I understand that they kind of make us out to be unsophisticated.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” the President remarked. “The Grenouthians have a tendency to play up the darker episodes of human history for the sake of ratings. And they think we’re idiots.”

“But what made you decide to give the local HEEL organizer your backing?” Ambassador Oshi inquired. “When I saw the video of your assistant consul introducing that man at the anti-EarthCent rally on Union Station, I had to wonder if you’d snuck off on a long vacation.”

“That was an undercover operation,” Kelly replied hastily, hoping the half-truth would limit her blush response. “My assistant consul was working with EarthCent Intelligence to bolster the standing of the local HEEL organizer. They planned to infiltrate him into the leadership of the movement to find out what was going on.”

“And how did you discover it was the Vergallians?” Ambassador Fu asked.

“As I said, we got lucky,” Kelly replied. Then she offered the explanation she’d concocted with Blythe and Clive. “I can’t share all of the operational details, but our intelligence people did obtain holo-cube residue from a HEEL communication and had it analyzed by Drazen Intelligence.”

“Ah, I’ll have to remember that,” Ambassador White said. “I never realized holo-cubes leave a residue.”

“And it’s not like we were expecting this attempt,” President Beyer added. “I want to know what our intelligence people make of the motive?”

“It’s complicated,” Kelly replied. “Part of it has to do with Vergallian royal factions and a split between the imperial family and the deep space fleet that we’re just beginning to understand. The Vergallian ambassadors we know from the Stryx stations are all members of the imperial faction, but the smaller royal houses and the off-network colonies and worlds are solidly behind the fleet. When you consider that there are hundreds of populated worlds involved, there’s plenty of room for plots and counter-plots.”

“Hundreds?” Belinda asked. “I thought it was exactly a hundred worlds.”

“There are two hundred and seventy-one Vergallian domains recognized by their College of Heraldry, and another eighty-nine, if you include the dwarf planets and terraforming projects,” Kelly replied instantly. If there was one good thing about having vivid nightmares, it was that she always remembered the facts that popped up. Where they came from initially, she hadn’t a clue.

“That translates into a lot of Vergallians,” Ambassador Fu remarked. “You’d think they’d have enough to do looking after their own affairs.”

“Blythe promises me that you’ll all be receiving a detailed report as soon as the analysts finish cross-checking their conclusions with Drazen Intelligence,” Kelly said. “Their preliminary recommendation is that we remove the temptation for other species to meddle in our politics.”

“Meaning that nature abhors a vacuum,” President Beyer observed. “But we have no mandate to extend EarthCent beyond our current role as a diplomatic service, and attempting to do so might actually make us guilty of the imaginary crimes the HEEL organizers were attributing to us.”

“We could offer to help human colonies establish local elections,” Ambassador Oshi suggested.

“That brings me to the second reason I called this meeting,” Kelly said. “I believe you all received a report from EarthCent Intelligence earlier today which details the development of independent human communities on the open worlds of the Dollnicks, Drazens and Verlocks.”

“It’s five in the morning here,” Ambassador Tamil replied. “I was already asleep when it came in and I’m barely awake now. In other words, I haven’t read it yet.”

“I’m sorry, Raj,” Kelly said. “I swear I’ll schedule the next meeting at a better time for you.”

“I believe I can summarize the report for you, Ambassador Tamil,” Belinda offered. “The humans on open worlds are going native. They’ve not only adopted the technology of their hosts, but also their management structures, attitudes, and even a facsimile of their diets.”

“Don’t blame the Dollnicks for spoon worms,” Ambassador Fu said. “Those are a Korean delicacy.”

“I think the greater point here is that we’re in no position to suggest to our fellow humans what form of government best suits their situation,” President Beyer stated. “I view the willingness of the human leaders to meet with their counterparts from other independent communities positively, and I fully approve of EarthCent Intelligence picking up the tab for hosting such an event.”

“Do we need to vote on it?” Belinda asked.

“Not unless you want to,” the President replied.

“Ever since I got back from, uh, lunch,” Kelly stuttered, barely catching herself in time from spilling the beans about her vacation, “I’ve been thinking about reassigning my assistant consul to meeting with humans rather than aliens. If humanity is going to continue developing in different directions, then maintaining good relations amongst ourselves should fit under the umbrella of a diplomatic service. We’d become the fools the Vergallians think we are if we spend all of our time talking with the neighbors as our own household descends into chaos.”

“What a nice way of putting it,” Ambassador Zerakova said. “There’s an old Russian proverb that expresses much the same sentiment.”

“Yes, I especially liked the part about getting back from lunch,” President Beyer added dryly, causing Kelly to cringe. The man seemed to have developed a second sight since taking over as president. “But before we rush to invite any self-governing human communities to take a seat at the EarthCent table, I want to remind you all that the Stryx will not be picking their leaders.”

“Isn’t that a good thing if we want to move towards genuine self-sufficiency?” asked Ambassador White.

“Yes and no,” President Beyer replied. “Do any of you know why the Stryx picked you for the diplomatic service, and what qualified you to become an ambassador?”

“I’m good with numbers.”

“I’m very organized.”

“I do well on standardized tests.”

“Yes, I’m sure those are all very useful skills, but as it happens, I hired a Thark consulting firm to analyze how the Stryx have been making their choices,” President Beyer continued. “I thought it might come in handy for a future president.”

“You turned over our personnel files to the Tharks?” Kelly asked.

“No, they were able to base their analysis on public information, since all of us are rather high profile individuals in the human context. I could draw this out and bury you in data like the Tharks buried me, but in the end, it came down to two factors for all of us.”

“And it wasn’t standardized tests?” Svetlana guessed.

“First, we aren’t megalomaniacs. In fact, according to the Tharks, we’re about as opposite as you can get from being power hungry without straying into terminal indecisiveness. Second, we’re empathetic with aliens and AI. It’s much easier to find humans who empathize with puppies than with aliens, and even the advanced species have difficulty relating to AI as fellow sentients.”

“I do care about aliens and AI, and puppies too,” Belinda said. “I can see why it’s important for ambassadors, though I’d like to believe we all brought more than that to the table. But why should it be important for the leaders of self-governing human communities?”

“That’s exactly the point,” the president replied patiently. “When the Stryx appointed me to this job, every one of you privately told me you were relieved it wasn’t you. If we start making the leaders of these new communities equal partners in EarthCent, they’re going to want to be considered for the highest posts. At the same time, they’ll likely see themselves as representatives of their constituents rather than of humanity as a whole. Unlike Belinda and the rest of us present, they may not be able to empathize with all of the aliens and AI, or even with puppies. We aren’t at the point where we can afford to have tone-deaf humans representing Earth to the rest of the galaxy.”

“There’s something in that,” Svetlana said. “If humans are really going native on these planets then they’ll likely end up with some of the same biases as the aliens who they’re emulating, but without the empires to back it up. I’ll need some time to think about this.”

“I don’t see the harm in all of us focusing some resources on outreach to human communities on open worlds, but I agree the next step will require careful thought,” Carlos added. “Maybe a parallel system would be best.”

“Then let’s leave it there and we’ll talk next month,” Kelly suggested. “I have a graduation ceremony to attend.”

The ambassadors all signed off of the holo-conference, and in some cases, crawled back into bed. Kelly immediately headed home for Mac’s Bones where the latest class of EarthCent Intelligence agents was graduating.

After the ceremony and picnic, the leaders of EarthCent Intelligence remained behind to hear Kelly’s feedback from the steering committee and to polish off the leftovers. Dorothy took charge of Blythe’s twins, and the three of them did their best to cheer up Samuel, who was still moping around a week after Ailia’s departure.

“I swept the area again after the recruits and their guests left,” Clive mentioned offhandedly. “Can’t be too careful these days.”

“I’d forgotten that the Vergallians tried to sneak an undercover agent into your first training camp,” Kelly admitted. “I wonder what would have happened if Beowulf hadn’t spotted him.”

“I wonder what would have happened if Baylit hadn’t given you that data cache,” Lynx said. “Did you tell the steering committee about her?”

“No. I felt a little bad hiding it from them, and Baylit didn’t say anything about keeping it confidential, but why take chances? The Stryx know obviously, since Jeeves is the one who decoded it for us, but otherwise, it’s just the people at this table.”

“We scrubbed most of the details before passing the data on to our analysts, so even if the Vergallians get a copy of the report, it should leave them guessing as to where our information came from,” Clive informed her. “Baylit clearly suspects that Vergallian Intelligence played a role in the war that caused her father’s death, and there’s no love lost between their navy and their spies in any case.”

“At least you were able to take Ailia on a nice vacation before she had to leave,” Blythe added. “Paul told me she went off with plenty of holo-souvenirs to remember everyone by. He also said he’s going to start working with Jeeves to design some new tourist attractions for those abandoned decks.”

“Sometimes I think that the Stryx get bored just like the rest of us,” Kelly commented. “Libby said they have some bugs to work out before she opens to the general public, but she’s hoping to make her theme park into a high-volume tourist attraction.”

“You kept insisting Libby had some underhanded motive for the whole thing whenever we visited you,” Blythe followed up in a teasing voice. “Have you figured it out yet?”

“Well, I haven’t quite fit the wastewater treatment deck into my theory, but I’m pretty sure the idea was to teach us to avoid the traps that the former residents of the abandoned decks fell into,” Kelly replied. “Dring mentioned that the species which lived in the exoskeleton suits, the Plangers, skipped directly from their stone age to high tech because some well-meaning aliens handed them technology on a silver platter. I wonder if the Stryx worry that we’ve been pulled forward too far too fast.”

“Maybe she started us off with the sewer deck to show that you can’t always improve on nature,” Joe suggested.

“I’ll bet that’s it.” Kelly took a sip from her beer and expanded on her thesis. “What other point could there be to meeting Marvin the ghost other than to show us that eternity is no prize. Instead of becoming gods, they left their bodies behind to become wards of the Stryx. Now poor Marvin is happy to get a job as a tour guide to help the years go by and contribute something to their overdue rent.”

“Beautiful sculpture gardens,” Blythe commented. “Did you remember to ask Libby about that foldable table, Joe?”

“Never mind that now,” Kelly pressed onwards. “The message of the deck with the exoskeletons was obvious. I always wondered why the advanced species don’t have robots do more for them, but it’s mainly AI who build a lot of mechanicals. Those Plangers became so obsessed with making everything safe and easy that they ended up with lives not worth living.”

“And the pretend business?” Blythe asked. “I can’t get over the fact that the whole species went in for it.”

“I asked Libby about them after we got back, and that one has a happy ending,” Kelly said. “Rather than dying off, they did one of those back-to-nature things, like the Kasilians. Libby said they’re mainly farmers and small craftsmen now, and they have strict laws against automation.”