Wanted by Her Lost Love (7 page)

The reserved, angry Kelly was someone he didn't know.

She seemed a little nervous and unsure as she came to stand by the bar, and he hated that there was a tangible barrier between them. Before she wouldn't have hesitated to launch herself into his arms and give him one of her big, squeezing hugs.

Now? He ached to get close enough to her that she didn't withdraw.

“You ready?” he asked, forcing a casual note into his voice.

She nodded. He put his hand to her back, noting the expanse of flesh bared by the sundress. Jansen had done well. The dress fit her like a dream, molding in all the right places. The bodice was held up by ends tied at the nape of her neck; but her flesh was bare all the way down to the small of her back.

Where his palm rested, he itched to caress and stroke until she responded to him, until he proved that the attraction between them hadn't died.

They walked down to the restaurant that overlooked the ocean and were seated in a private alcove that had a huge glass window, giving them an unobstructed view of the beach.

As they looked over their menus, Ryan stole a glance at Kelly. Seeming to sense his perusal, she looked up and offered a tentative smile. He smiled back, captivated by the sparkle in her blue eyes.

She was…beautiful. And this time when she looked at him, he didn't see the dark anger that had sparked so often since their reunion.

The moment came to a shrieking halt a second later.

“Ryan! What are you doing here?”

The feminine voice rang out over the secluded area, making him wince and Kelly jump in surprise. He glanced up to see Roberta Maxwell bearing down on their table and he muttered an appropriate expletive under his breath.

As she approached the table, he rose to return her greeting. He brushed a polite kiss over her cheek when she presented it to him and tried to extricate his hand from hers when she grabbed on to it.

“I'm here on business. The question is, what are
you
doing here?”

Her laughter tinkled out like fine china. “Oh, this is one of my favorite places to visit. The food is just divine, and the accommodations can't be beat.” She turned to Kelly who was eyeing Roberta warily. “Who is this, Ryan?”

Like hell she didn't know who Kelly was and like hell she just happened to be here. He'd lay odds that Roberta Maxwell had never been to St. Angelo in her life. She was shockingly transparent and didn't seem to give a damn. That could only mean she was here to cause trouble. His mother's name was written all over this and he was so furious he wanted to strangle Roberta's skinny neck. And then move on to his mother. He never should have informed his mother that he'd be out of town and he damn sure shouldn't have told her
where
he was going. He'd hoped… Well, it didn't really matter what he'd hoped. Roberta was here and it was apparent it wasn't some damn coincidence.

“Roberta, meet Kelly Christian. Kelly, this is an acquaintance of mine, Roberta Maxwell.”

Roberta's smile was dazzling and she playfully fluttered her fingers at Ryan. “Oh la, darling. Surely I rate higher than an acquaintance.”

Kelly's eyes narrowed and Ryan decided that politeness was overrated.

“We're having a private dinner, Roberta. If you'll excuse us, please?”

Undaunted, Roberta entwined her arm in his and her voice dropped to a low purr. “We must get together while you are here. Perhaps have dinner ourselves. I was so sorry to have missed you the last time I had dinner with your mother. I do love her so.”

He extricated himself from her grasp and stepped
back a few paces from her. “I'm afraid my time here is spoken for,” he said. “Perhaps when we return to New York, Kelly and I can have you over for dinner.” He said the last pointedly, not that he really expected it to deter Roberta. It wasn't his fault she was as thick as a brick.

Roberta's eyes flashed with annoyance and her finely painted lips formed a full pout. “Really, darling, when did you decide to take back the little cheater?”

Kelly's face blanched and she threw down her napkin. Ryan's hand shot up to silence Roberta. “You know, I've had about enough. It's time you left. Give my
regards
to my mother, and while you're at it, tell her to stay the hell out of my affairs. Advice you'd be well advised to take as well.”

She twisted her pouty lips and ran a well-manicured set of nails down the lapel of his suit. “No need to get huffy, darling. I know you have to be polite to her since you don't know whose baby she carries.”

With a careless wave, she walked gracefully away, leaving Ryan so furious that he wanted to hurl his chair across the room. But his anger had nothing on the fury flashing in Kelly's eyes when he turned to see her standing in front of her seat, her fists clenched and pressed to the top of the table.

R
yan gripped the back of his seat with one hand and ran a hand through his hair with the other. “I'm sorry.”

“I've lost my appetite,” she stated flatly as she pushed away from her seat.

“Kelly, don't,” he protested. “You have to eat. Don't let that cat ruin our dinner.”

Her lips tightened in fury. “That
cat
seems to know an awful lot about our situation, wouldn't you agree?”

She turned from the table and stalked toward the entrance of the restaurant. As soon as she hit the lobby, she turned down the long corridor leading to their suite. Angrily, she jammed the card into the lock, swearing when the light didn't immediately flash green. She slammed the card in again and yanked at the handle when the telltale whir sounded.

Once inside, she bolted the door behind her and went into her bedroom. She perched on the edge of the bed, and
in the distance she heard knocking and then Ryan's angry voice through the door.

She was too angry to give a damn that he'd have to walk all the way around to the patio glass doors to gain entrance.

She'd had enough of this farcical…hell, she didn't even know what to call it this time around. Whatever it was, she wanted out.

It was enough that she'd been humiliated by Ryan and his brother, but now she had to put up with some brainless airhead piling on as well? They could all go to hell.

Her head came up when her bedroom door flew open, revealing a livid Ryan. Yeah, well he wasn't the only one, and she wasn't backing down. She got to her feet and faced him head-on.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Kelly? It isn't like you to go to such extremes. What do you hope to accomplish by locking me out? Ignoring our problems isn't going to make them go away.”

“How would you know what isn't like me?” she retorted. “It would seem you never knew me at all.”

His eyes flashed and he nodded. “That much is certainly true.”

Pissed at the innuendo in his response, she fixed him with a cold stare. “I want out of here. I want the first flight out I can get. This is ridiculous. It's a waste of time. It's never going to work between us, Ryan.”

He swore and moved to stand just in front of her, his hands gripping her shoulders. “We had an agreement. One week together and we forget the past.”

She gaped at him incredulously. “Did you not witness that debacle in the restaurant? How on earth would she know so much about me and our relationship unless
you
told her? How the hell are we supposed to forget the past
when your little floozy is busy throwing it in my face? I don't appreciate being made a fool of. And I certainly don't appreciate being bandied about in conversation like yesterday's garbage.”

“I never discussed you with her,” he said emphatically.

“Amazing then that she knew so much.”

“Why is it you have so little faith in me, Kelly?
I
didn't betray
you.
”

She flinched. It always came back to this. No matter what, it always came back to the fact that he believed she had betrayed him and refused to entertain any other possibility.

She turned away from him, trying to control the tide of rage boiling over her. Shaking with her attempts to tamp down her angry shouts, she clenched her hands and closed her eyes tightly.

Suddenly she was spun around to face him again and he crushed his lips to hers, cupping her face in his hands. She brought her hands up between them to push against his chest, but his arms went tightly around her back, pulling her even closer to him.

She moaned low in her throat as his kiss gentled and became exploratory. He moved her to the edge of the bed and lowered her onto the mattress, never ceasing his slow movement over her lips. “Damn it, Kelly, just don't say anything for a while. No words. We can't seem to have a conversation without hurting each other, so for just a little while let's communicate without talking.”

She gazed into his eyes as he drew away from her and studied his expression. How could she want him so much after all the mistrust and hurt? His fingertips caressed her cheek and she closed her eyes, arching further into his hand.

What if she let him make love to her? Would it be so bad? Or would it just confirm his low opinion of her.

Like a bucket of ice water, that thought quashed any desire she had to surrender to his lovemaking. He must have sensed her withdrawal because he drew away, looking at her in confusion.

“I can't do this,” she said, scrambling to sit up on the bed. “Not knowing what you think of me.”

The words caught and raggedly slipped from her lips. Drawing protective arms around her chest, she sat on the rumpled covers watching him warily.

“Don't stare at me like you expect me to pounce,” he said in disgust. “I am not into unwilling women.”

He left the room, slamming the door solidly behind him.

Feeling more alone than she had when she left him the first time, she edged off the bed and walked into the bathroom to splash cool water on her flushed face.

She stared back at her reflection and saw the utter misery in her eyes. Tears welled. Her chest hurt. Her heart hurt. This was no way to live.

She wouldn't beg him to believe her. She'd already done that. On her knees no less. What was left? He didn't believe her. She wasn't going to beg him again. There was nowhere for this relationship to go but straight to hell in a handbasket.

Turning the water off, she put her elbows on the countertop and buried her face in her hands as sobs billowed from her throat.

She hadn't been happy in six long months but now her misery was even more pronounced. Her circumstances hadn't been the best in Houston, but she hadn't had to look at the man she loved and know that he thought the worst of her.

Tears still sliding down her face, she went blindly back into the bedroom and curled into a ball on the bed. Her shoulders shook and the tears that she'd held back for so long streamed down her cheeks in steady trails.

After a few minutes, the bed dipped and Ryan put a hand to her cheek. “I'm sorry, Kell,” he said hoarsely. “Don't cry. Please don't cry.”

Gently he lifted her into his arms and cradled her to his chest. She clung to him and buried her face in his neck as her tears soaked into his shirt.

“I'm sorry. This isn't how I wanted things to go. I never meant to upset you or make you feel worthless. I swear it.”

His voice was thick with regret and it trembled with emotion as he stroked his hand over her hair.

“You have to know that Roberta was here for the sole reason of causing trouble between us.”

She went still against him, knowing that what she was about to say would probably only piss him off more, but she was through pulling her punches.

“Are you ready to admit that your mother hates me and would do anything to get rid of me? If you didn't talk to Roberta about us, then who the hell do you think did?”

“I know,” he said quietly. “It won't work, though. As soon as we return home, I'll put an end to this. I promise. She won't be allowed to hurt you like this.”

She sagged against him. She wanted so desperately to believe him this time. His eyes were slowly being opened. Did this mean he would eventually accept her version of what happened six months ago?

He pressed his lips to the top of her head and whispered softly. “Stay with me, Kelly. We have so much to work out. God knows we've been through a lot together. But in order to do that I need you here with me. Not a thousand
miles away in some godforsaken hellhole where I can't take care of you and our baby.”

He pulled her carefully away and wiped at the trails of wetness on her cheeks with his thumbs. His gaze was haunted, intense and dark with emotion. Honest to God, he looked like he was hurting every bit as much as she was.

It had been on the tip of her tongue to deny that he was the father yet again, but this time she didn't. It was pointless to argue with him, and besides, he
was
the father.

He too was obviously expecting her to deny it because when she remained silent his eyes lit with hope.

“Give us a chance, Kell. Let me take care of you and the baby. Whatever is wrong between us, we can fix it.”

“I wish I had your optimism,” she murmured. How to explain that their problems were insurmountable in the face of his lack of trust in her?

He lowered his lips to hers, kissing her so lovingly that she felt a resurgence of tears. She broke away and then laid her cheek against his chest. It felt so good to be back in his arms, for just a moment to let go of all the pain and resentment.

He put a hand to her hair, his touch tentative.

“Kell, we need to talk about the baby. But first we have to settle this matter between us.”

She closed her eyes, feeling dread settle in the pit of her stomach. “If I tell you the baby is yours, will you believe me?”

He went still against her and then he let all his breath out. He cupped his hand to the side of her face and held her against his chest.

“I'll believe you, Kell.”

Slowly she pushed against his chest until she was eye level with him. How it hurt that he was willing to believe
her now about their child, but he hadn't been willing to believe her then when it came to his brother.

“She's yours,” she said in a quiet voice.

Satisfaction was a savage light in his eyes. He framed her face tightly in his hands and then lowered his mouth to take hers in a possessive, fierce sweep.

Her lips were swollen when she managed to tear her mouth away. Her pulse raced and they stared at each other in silence. She was afraid to believe in him. So afraid she was nearly paralyzed with it.

“Do you believe me? I have to know, Ryan. We can't go forward unless you believe me.”

His hand drifted down to the bulge of her belly and he slid his palm over the curve, splaying his fingers out until he covered a wide area.

“I believe you.”

She bit her lip to keep from asking him if he'd believe her about everything else. She knew he didn't, he hadn't. And maybe it was too late. Wasn't it?

“Kelly?” His soft entreaty broke through her musings. He stroked her cheek with the tip of one finger. “I believe you. Okay? Jarrod said he wore a condom and the timing was right for us. I won't believe you slept with anyone else. It was just that one time with Jarrod, wasn't it?”

The soft plea froze her to the bone. Hurt crashed through her heart—a heart she thought was already irreparably shattered. She was wrong. She hadn't thought there was anything Ryan could do to hurt her further. She'd been wrong about that too.

“Why does that make you cry?”

Ryan wiped at the tear that trailed down her cheek, his expression one of complete bewilderment. Then he leaned in and kissed the moisture away.

She braced her hands on his arms, her mind a chaotic
twist of anger and wretched grief. It took every bit of her strength to gather her shattered composure and speak to him when what she wanted to do was flee.

“If this has any hope of working, you'll never breathe his name to me again. You were the one who wanted this. One week. No past. Forget the past. It's what you said. I'm holding you to it. You bring him up ever again, and I walk—no, I run. Are we clear?”

He looked shocked by her vehemence. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to push further, but she shook her head and started to slide from his lap.

He made a grab for her, pulling her close to him again. “All right. No past. I won't bring it up again. I promise. Will you stay, Kelly? Will you work with me?”

She closed her eyes again and the fight left her. Her head dropped down and exhaustion crept in, gripping the back of her neck, squeezing until her entire head ached vilely.

His fingers slid around her neck, rubbing and caressing with gentle pressure. Had she been that obvious?

“I still care about you, Kelly.”

She leaned her forehead against his. His onslaught was relentless and he didn't play fair.

“I'm afraid,” she whispered.

“So am I.”

Surprised by his admission, she retreated a few inches and flicked her gaze up and down, searching for the truth in his eyes.

“Don't look at me like that. You aren't the only one hurting. I… Damn it, I promised we wouldn't bring the past up. I'm not going to. But you aren't the only one who got hurt in all this. I cared about you. I wanted to marry you. I…”

He dragged a hand through his hair. He suddenly looked
haggard and tired, worn down by the dark emotion that flowed between the two of them.

“I still want to marry you,” he quietly admitted.