Warrior's Dawn (Fire and Tears) (25 page)

Chapter Twenty

Three days after handing the List vessel over to the council and then nearly bleeding himself dry to open it, Althir made his way to the room Ulric kept at the Sinnale council’s meeting hall. He hadn’t spoken to his brother since he officially gave himself over to the Sinnale. But now he had a question for him, and it wasn’t something that could wait.

Since Ulric wasn’t in his room when Althir arrived, he made himself comfortable in one of the chairs set up near the ceramic heater in the corner and propped his feet up on the small table nearby. He stared out the third-story window at the surrounding buildings, sunlight sharpening the bricks and angles, and waited with forced patience. Only the fact that he still felt a little weak kept him from pacing around the small room.

When Ulric entered, he stopped short and stared. Althir stared back, amused by his brother’s surprise. Ulric wiped the expression from his face quickly and stalked into the room, dropping a small handful of letters onto his bed—the only large thing in the room.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed yet,” he said without looking at Althir. “Even you can’t recover that quickly.”

“I have a question for you.”

Ulric raised his brows. “The king and queen have lifted your banishment. You can return to Glengowyn anytime.”

Althir nodded. “Ah. Good to know. But that’s not what I came here to ask.”

“The label of traitor has been lifted.”

With a snort, Althir said, “You know I’ll always be looked at as a traitor. No matter what the king and queen say. Our people have long memories.”

Frowning, his brother faced him with his arms crossed over his chest. “Why
did
you do it, Althir? And don’t tell me it was for the power again. I never bought that story. You’ve never gone looking for magic beyond your own charm.”

He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now.”

“It matters to me. I’d like to know why my brother turned against his people.”

“Of course you would.” He rolled his eyes. “That’s not what I came here to discuss.”

“You want your question answered, answer mine.”

“Ulric, there’s no point. It’s over.” Mostly to himself, he muttered, “And what I’d been trying to do worked out in the end anyway.”

Ulric’s gaze sharpened, so Althir hurried on. He did not want to discuss his reasons for turning “traitor” with Ulric, of all people. “Will you answer my question now?”

“You haven’t answered mine.”

“Is it worth it?” he asked before Ulric could attempt more interrogation. “With Layla. Is it worth the risk? To her.”

The change of subjects visibly surprised his brother, leaving him silent and blinking for a few moments. Althir would have been amused if the answer to his question didn’t matter so much.

“Well?” He waved a hand to get Ulric focused. “Is it?”

“Why are you asking?”

“Ulric, stop being an ass and answer my question.”

“Yes, it’s worth the risk. But I’m in love with Layla, and she loves me.”

Althir huffed out a half laugh. “I should hope so since you nearly slit my throat for her.”

He turned back to the window and considered his brother’s answer. Ulric was counting on his and Layla’s love being
that
kind of love, the kind that would survive through time, the kind those romantic ballads celebrated. Ulric was gambling on the fact that he and Layla loved each other
enough
. He was betting on them having a true love.

A risk Althir had never even considered taking with Mina. Yet…

“Is there someone?” Ulric asked into the quiet. “A human woman?”

Althir didn’t respond.

“Mina,” Ulric said with a note of understanding and a hint of satisfaction at having guessed the answer.

Althir twisted his lips in disgust but kept his attention on the sunlit day beyond the glass pane.

“Do you love her?” Ulric pressed.

“Yes.”

Silence. Then, “You didn’t even hesitate.”

“I didn’t need to.”

“Does she know?”

“I haven’t told her yet.”

“Will you tell her?”

“I don’t know.”

“Does she love you?”

He did pause a moment before answering that question. “I don’t know,” he repeated. One of his greatest fears was that she didn’t.

“If she’s not in love with you, if you don’t truly love her, an affair will end badly. For her. You know that.”

He hissed over his shoulder at Ulric and finally stood to pace. “Of course I fucking know. Why the hell do you think I’m here asking
you
about this?”

He stalked to the door then turned and paced back to the opposite side of the room while Ulric stood watching. “How could you be so sure the risk was worth it with Layla? Weren’t you worried about…about what would happen to her if things went wrong?”

“Of course. Which was why I explained it all to her from the beginning.”

Althir paused to stare at his brother with raised brows. Ulric had the grace to glance away, his frown just a touch embarrassed.

“Okay,” he admitted. “I didn’t tell her from the very beginning. But before committing fully, before letting her commit to me, I told her everything.”

Althir nodded and started pacing again. The only way a relationship between a human and elf would work was if they really loved each other. The negative side-effects of elf-fire were worse on couples not in love because no real bond ever formed. Without that bond, without a true love, eventually things would fall apart, and the human would be tipped into the abyss of madness as a result. Very, very few humans had ever survived a long-term relationship with an elf without ending up insane.

He wasn’t sure how his brother could risk that with someone he claimed to love. Yet Althir couldn’t imagine never seeing Mina again. But to see her, he would have to risk her sanity in just that way.

She had come to his sickbed after he’d bled to open the vessel. Or so he’d been told by one of the nurses looking after him as he recovered. He’d been unconscious and hadn’t actually spoken with her. Since regaining consciousness, he hadn’t seen her. But he hadn’t gone looking any more than she’d come to him.

“What will you do?” Ulric asked quietly.

“I don’t know that either.” His circuit took him back to the door and this time he reached for the knob. He had some thinking to do, and he didn’t want to do it with his brother staring at him.

“Will I see you back in Glengowyn?” Ulric asked as Althir swung open the door.

Althir faced him and shrugged. “We’ll see what happens.”

“Good luck.”

As he returned to his sickroom, Althir realized that had been the most civil conversation he’d shared with Ulric in years.

The next day he moved from the sickroom to a proper, small flat in a complex near the meeting hall. That move was as sure a sign as any that he was free to go his own way now. The fact that the Sinnale were still willing to give him accommodation in the city confirmed what he’d started to suspect over the last few days. The humans he encountered inside the meeting hall didn’t glare at him anymore, or spit, or curse. He actually received hesitant smiles, nods of greeting, even one or two of the men had clapped him on the arm and expressed pleasure that he’d recovered from the bleeding.

Most didn’t know
exactly
what he’d done, and Althir was sure the council was keeping the details quiet. But something must have gotten out, enough information that those humans close to the council knew Althir had done
something
to help end the war—something he’d nearly died to accomplish.

Whatever the rumors, it was enough to change some attitudes toward him. To his surprise, that change did give him a sense of satisfaction. At least to some he was no longer a traitor.

With his own people…well, he accepted he’d never be fully welcome in Glengowyn again. He could return now. And he’d be safe to live among his own kind for the rest of his life. But they wouldn’t forgive as readily as the Sinnale had, even if they understood what he’d done to end the war.

For some reason, Althir couldn’t find it in him to care what his people thought of him anymore. There was only one person whose opinion really mattered. And he was going to have to face her soon.

The morning after moving into his new flat, he left the neat but nearly empty home and went in search of Mina. He wasn’t entirely sure where to find her. He’d been hesitant to ask anyone where she lived, afraid of revealing things he wasn’t ready to reveal to just anyone. He knew she came and went from the meeting hall frequently, though, so he set himself up across the street from the entrance in the common room of what had once been a pub. The room was deserted, but the tables and chairs were still stacked around the edges of the space. He pulled a table and two chairs close to the large front windows and settled in for his vigil.

A few passing humans gave him strange looks. He ignored them. As he waited, he realized he could go find Ulric inside and ask him. But somehow, bringing his brother into his confidence any more than he already had didn’t sit well. Years of resentment and bitterness didn’t go away overnight.

What truly surprised Althir, though, was how little real anger he felt for Ulric anymore. He didn’t think he’d proved himself equal to his brother finally. It wasn’t that. It was just…he didn’t care anymore what others thought of him in comparison to the glowing icon that was Ulric’s fame.

But Ulric didn’t need to know that.

Hours passed before Althir finally spotted Mina approaching the meeting hall. The sight of her stunned him, and for a long instant, he could only stare. She was dressed in plain trousers and tunic, both deep brown and formless. But her curvy figure was too hard to hide, even in shapeless clothing. Her swords were strapped to her hips, her hair pulled back into a tight bun. Sunlight glinted off the blond strands, highlighting the color. She looked beautiful.

And tired.

Even from the short distance he could see faint circles under her eyes and her cheeks looked hollow. He frowned, worry thrusting him out of his stupor. He hurried from the empty pub across the street and stopped her just before she walked into the hall.

He cupped her chin in one hand and held her face up for closer study. “Why aren’t you sleeping? What’s wrong?”

“Hello to you too, Althir.” She smiled crookedly, but her brows lowered in confusion.

“What’s wrong?” he pressed, too concerned to bother with pleasantries. “Is it the fighting? Has something changed?”

The massive offensive strike the Sinnale had started had ground to a halt two days earlier, according to the gossip he’d gathered from the nurses. But they were holding the retaken territory securely now, forcing the Sorcerers to fall even farther back.

Mina shook her head and dislodged his hold on her chin. “Everything is still quiet on the front, for the moment,” she said. “There’s something else going on. I don’t know the details. Just that there’s a mission underway. Something to do with the List.”

She murmured most of this in such a quiet voice only an elf could have heard her. She studied the passersby as she spoke. He and Mina drew attention, but no one passed close enough to overhear them. Still, they’d be better able to talk with some privacy.

“The council gave me a flat on the next block. We can speak more freely there.” He took her arm, but she hesitated. “Do you have a meeting inside?”

“Nothing immediate.”

He watched her closely but couldn’t tell from her slight frown what she might be thinking.

Finally, she let out a sigh. “Lead the way.”

Her hesitance gave him even more to worry about as he led her the short distance to his rooms. When he opened the door for her, she walked the full length of the sitting room, going directly to the windows that looked out on a side street.

“You’re safe here, you know,” he said.

She gave him an inscrutable half smile and turned her back to the window. “A matter of perspective,” she murmured.

“Why haven’t you been sleeping?” he asked again.

She raised her brows and nodded to his arms. “How are you doing? I thought it would take another few days for you to be fully recovered.”

The bandages weren’t visible beneath the sleeves of his shirt, but they didn’t need to be. “Good enough to leave the sickroom. Elves recover faster than humans.”

“You were nearly dead.” She swallowed visibly.

“As you can see, I survived.”

“I went to see you that evening. You weren’t awake yet.”

“They told me you came.”

“You were so pale, Althir…”

She sucked in her lips and looked away, but not in time for him to miss the moisture in her eyes. He couldn’t refuse the need to comfort her pain any more than he could resist her. He crossed to her and pulled her into his arms. She was stiff against him for several torturous heartbeats, and then she softened and her arms circled his waist.

“Scared me to see you that way,” she muttered against his chest.

He stroked a hand over her hair, a little ashamed to realize he was pleased she’d been worried about him. “That’s why I didn’t want you to see,” he said. “Why I asked you to stay away.”